She's 14. If my 14 year old is engaging in behavior I feel is dangerous and damaging (sex with an older person), I don;t give a damn that they may "hate" me. I;m the parent, not the friend.
And I think the kid allowed an intimate conversation between her Kaitlynn to be recorded by the police and not only did she not try to tip off Kaitlyn, she must have "acted" as well, so as to get Kaitlyn to speak normally and without restraint in the call.
A child who "Hates" her parents and is devastated by what the police are doing is not going to be able to pull that off. Sorry.
But in any event, my interference with my 14 year old's sexual relationship is not going to cause me to lose my relationship with my child unless I;m also a horrible parent. It's crazy, but parents can actually prohibit their kids from doing certain things and not cause lasting "damage" to their relationship. It's called parenting. Happens everyday.
If that was my kid, I would actually have shipped her off so quickly to my evil aunts in Spain, who would monitor her every move, her head would spin. And oh, she would "hate" me so much! And a year later I bet she'd be snuggling with me at home on the couch and saying, "I love you mama".
I think people are forgetting just how young 14 really is.
OK-this hits home for me. My oldest son just turned 13. Next year he will be in 8th grade. During that time most of his friends will turn 14. 8th GRADE!!! Would you let your 8th grader go out with a Junior in high school??? I would say not. So once they enter high school and the 8th grader is now a freshman and the junior is now a senior, it is ok?
An 18 year old senior in high school should be doing the following: working at a part time job, visiting and applying to colleges, or focusing on what they are going to do with their lives post-graduation.
14-15 year old freshmen's are entering a new school, are focusing on trying to "fit in," make new relationships, get used to the high school culture and working on their studies.
High school is a strange time in a person's life. I described it to my son-you will enter that building as a child and exit that building as an adult. It is only 4 years, but a LOT happens in that 4 years. The brains and bodies of the teenager are still growing and developing. Their sense of self changes and matures. They begin to experiment with serious relationships and sex.
Here is a good illustration of how I perceive the difference between a senior and a freshman-when I was in high school, we had something called the "Big-Sister-Little Sister" program. Each big sister senior was assigned to a little sister freshman. It was the big sisters responsibility to show the little sister around the school, make them feel "at home," and generally just be there to support the freshman. My big sister sucked. I met her briefly one day and she told me she was busy and she would get together with me soon-I never really saw her again other than passing in the halls. I felt really betrayed, especially when I saw the other freshmen who had great big sisters. I became a big sister to 3 freshmen as a senior and did everything for them (including getting into a fight in the cafeteria (yes-a real all-on brawl!) on "Freshman Kill Day" when a table of senior were throwing pennies at the freshmen table and hit one of my "little sisters" in the eye.
Any way-the moral of the story is that there is a HUGE difference in the life experience and maturity level of a freshman and a senior. My big sister just ignored me. But what if she hadn't. What if she took the opportunity of being a "mentor" to me and chose to teach me about the "birds and the bees" instead of just showing me around the school? I was such a shy and awkward girl as a freshman, I would have done just about anything to fit in and could have easily been led down a wrong path. (I'm not gay, and I went to an all girl school, so I'm not too sure if a girl could have ever seduced me-likely not-so it is hard to make the comparison.)
Finally, to say this is about bigotry is disgusting and just a smokescreen, in my opinion. First of all, the gay people I know don't run around trying to get with minors. And most normal seniors don't want to get with a freshman period. If the parents are so concerned about the same-sex relationship, I would think that they would rather bury the story and not be speaking out and doing everything they are doing on behalf of their daughter. To me, they sound like parents invested in their child's life and future. And to allow the relationship to go on as it was would have been bad parenting, in my opinion.
Just my :twocents:
