General Discussion and Theories

[SnoopCat]

DM was arrested for theft and confinement while driving his Yukon on Cawthra Road, about 10 mins drive from his Etobicoke home.

 

[gimme sugar]

Weird. Just very weird:

http://www.theifp.ca/news/acton-man-became-bosma-familys-spokesperson/

1) In a Dutch community, there is NOTHING weird about this.
2) In a Christian community, one with VERY strong support, there is NOTHING weird about this.
3) In a tight Dutch knit, Christian community, there is definitely NOTHING weird about this.

If you have ever had the privilege to be a part of this, or know someone who is part of a community like this, you would know that when something half as bad as this happens, it doesn't just affect the friends/family/loved ones, it affects the ENTIRE community (and by community, I don't mean just the town that they live in, but all Dutch/Christian Reformed all over the world).

There's a very popular phrase for a reason: "Don't mess with the Dutch".

 

[Coldpizza]

DM was arrested for theft and confinement while driving his Yukon on Cawthra Road, about 10 mins drive from his Etobicoke home.

Here's the link:

http://www.mississauga.com/news-sto...-bosma-disappearance-mum-on-accomplice-says-/

 

[Sillybilly]

1) In a Dutch community, there is NOTHING weird about this.
2) In a Christian community, one with VERY strong support, there is NOTHING weird about this.
3) In a tight Dutch knit, Christian community, there is definitely NOTHING weird about this.

If you have ever had the privilege to be a part of this, or know someone who is part of a community like this, you would know that when something half as bad as this happens, it doesn't just affect the friends/family/loved ones, it affects the ENTIRE community (and by community, I don't mean just the town that they live in, but all Dutch/Christian Reformed all over the world).

There's a very popular phrase for a reason: "Don't mess with the Dutch".

This article was discussed much earlier in one of the threads. Can't find it right now.

I don't think the feeling of "weirdness" that people are picking up on has anything to do with a degree of support being provided by a community. Generally, any community rallies around in such times. I really can't speak for other WSrs, but IMO, the undertones that folks are picking up on are moreso related to someone so publicly aligning themselves in such an emotional fashion with the wife of a man who, at that time he references, was only known to be missing. It's a gut thing that I have trouble explaining, other than he seems to project that, of all those surrounding her, he seems to convey that SB is giving him strong signals of his importance in the household. Most people who are that close to the victims are more protective of the victims privacy during such terrible times, and don't go so public immediately about the emotional aspect of their personal tragedy.

Maybe other WSrs who feel this "weirdness" can better explain how and why they get such vibes.

 

[Snoofo]

I see what you're saying billy but I too am part of a tight cultural community and religion and if there were trouble in my house such as this travesty, and someone within the community had a specialty and stepped in to offer their time - well I think if the people they were assisting got an honest vibe from that person, then that is what we should trust. If this person ever crossed a line there are plenty people around SB to notice.
I believe he is probably doing what is the Christian thing to do. Some people naturally take the lead when there is a vacancy and they are qualified plus, having less ties to the Bosmas gives a more organized vision of what needs to be done.

 

[jash]

1) In a Dutch community, there is NOTHING weird about this.
2) In a Christian community, one with VERY strong support, there is NOTHING weird about this.
3) In a tight Dutch knit, Christian community, there is definitely NOTHING weird about this.

If you have ever had the privilege to be a part of this, or know someone who is part of a community like this, you would know that when something half as bad as this happens, it doesn't just affect the friends/family/loved ones, it affects the ENTIRE community (and by community, I don't mean just the town that they live in, but all Dutch/Christian Reformed all over the world).

There's a very popular phrase for a reason: "Don't mess with the Dutch".

I personally don't think there's anything strange about the role he played, but I can understand how other people might since even his own wife didn't understand.

"“My wife couldn’t understand why I was there, and I couldn’t explain,” he said."
http://www.theifp.ca/news/acton-man-became-bosma-familys-spokesperson/

 

[Archangel7]

This article was discussed much earlier in one of the threads. Can't find it right now.

I don't think the feeling of "weirdness" that people are picking up on has anything to do with a degree of support being provided by a community. Generally, any community rallies around in such times. I really can't speak for other WSrs, but IMO, the undertones that folks are picking up on are moreso related to someone so publicly aligning themselves in such an emotional fashion with the wife of a man who, at that time he references, was only known to be missing. It's a gut thing that I have trouble explaining, other than he seems to project that, of all those surrounding her, he seems to convey that SB is giving him strong signals of his importance in the household. Most people who are that close to the victims are more protective of the victims privacy during such terrible times, and don't go so public immediately about the emotional aspect of their personal tragedy.

Maybe other WSrs who feel this "weirdness" can better explain how and why they get such vibes.

Sillybilly has touched on it. There "seems" to be an oddness about the stated personal dynamics in the article, partly caused by reporting style and partly by the reported facts of the relationship between the two mentioned. I imagine PL's spontaneity, combined with his fairly incidental contact previously with TB, gives rise to the perceived weirdness. I myself, simply do not find that odd when considering religious and close knit communities.

It just isn't unusual to see strong relationships and bonding develop in highly charged, emotional events.
They are always difficult to explain past the obvious surface layer. In this case it is a logical fit between a person with a need and another with the needed skill set, inside an emotional charged, goal oriented environment.

I personally commend Mr. Lowe on his commitment to initiate contact and then to become an integral part of the search and support for the family.

All JMO

 

[SnoopCat]

This article was discussed much earlier in one of the threads. Can't find it right now.

I don't think the feeling of "weirdness" that people are picking up on has anything to do with a degree of support being provided by a community. Generally, any community rallies around in such times. I really can't speak for other WSrs, but IMO, the undertones that folks are picking up on are moreso related to someone so publicly aligning themselves in such an emotional fashion with the wife of a man who, at that time he references, was only known to be missing. It's a gut thing that I have trouble explaining, other than he seems to project that, of all those surrounding her, he seems to convey that SB is giving him strong signals of his importance in the household. Most people who are that close to the victims are more protective of the victims privacy during such terrible times, and don't go so public immediately about the emotional aspect of their personal tragedy.

Maybe other WSrs who feel this "weirdness" can better explain how and why they get such vibes.

I think you summed it up quite well. I too felt this "weirdness" when I read a similar article in the Star a few weeks ago. PL and TB peripherally knew each other but, IIRC, they attended the same church and maybe that's why SB was comfortable with him right away... she felt she could trust him for that reason. In all likeliness there is nothing there, but I can't shake the "weirdness". It doesn't feel right to me. JMO

 

[gimme sugar]

I think you summed it up quite well. I too felt this "weirdness" when I read a similar article in the Star a few weeks ago. PL and TB peripherally knew each other but, IIRC, they attended the same church and maybe that's why SB was comfortable with him right away... she felt she could trust him for that reason. In all likeliness there is nothing there, but I can't shake the "weirdness". It doesn't feel right to me. JMO

If I knew that someone could help in a very specific way, I was panicking and afraid of losing the ONE thing, that held our family together, I sure as hell would BEG someone with knowledge to stay. Especially if I knew that it could release a family member who was originally in charge of it, so that they could focus elsewhere.

Also, both SB and PL, are incredible people on their own. I can totally understand why SB would trust PL, especially knowing him from church and anyone at the house would have vouched for him, as all of TB's friends and family knew him growing up.

 

[Milothicus]

A friend of mine is closely tied to the family, and was involved with the facebook page.

I had never met or even heard of the bosmas, but i still wanted to help out, because there was a connection, though remote. i wanted to do anything i could do to feel like i'm contributing to the search. at one point I even offered to help monitor the facebook page, just because i felt like i could help, but I didn't want to be pushy and get in the way.

I can totally relate to PL's feeling of making a spur-of-the-moment decision to head to the house, and how ideal he was to help manage a busy facebook page while remaining at arm's length from the tragedy.

I also stopped by the farm when i was in the area on business the day after the police announced that TB had been found. these decisions aren't always totally rational, and also should not be suspicious. It's human nature.

It's this nature that led me to WS last month to see what the rest of the internet had found. just trying to help out.

 

[canadiangirl]

I guess for me there's a fine line between wanting to help out (which a lot of people wanted to, myself included), to inserting yourself into a family of a missing man whose family you barely knew. Into their home, sleeping on their couch etc. If my DH was missing and then found dead, regardless of who this person was, I wouldn't want them in my home unless I knew them very well. I understand the community tie and involvement but I'd still be uneasy. However that's just me and MOO

 

[hopingforjustice]

I don't understand why there has been no charges laid with regard to the stolen motorcycle and perhaps more that they found in the hanger? Any thoughts on this?

 

[Sillybilly]

If I knew that someone could help in a very specific way, I was panicking and afraid of losing the ONE thing, that held our family together, I sure as hell would BEG someone with knowledge to stay. Especially if I knew that it could release a family member who was originally in charge of it, so that they could focus elsewhere.

Also, both SB and PL, are incredible people on their own. I can totally understand why SB would trust PL, especially knowing him from church and anyone at the house would have vouched for him, as all of TB's friends and family knew him growing up.

from the article:

He and Bosma had known each other in their teens but had been little more than acquaintances, attending different high schools but the same church in Ancaster.

Due to the above explanation, I got the impression it was not a recent connection ... that any acquaintance they had was through different highschools and the church, back in the day.

Am really not trying to crucify this guy, just that there are a number of us have this weird feeling based on such a total interjection into the immediate family circle and the household itself.

JMO

 

[Ailin42]

from the article:



Due to the above explanation, I got the impression it was not a recent connection ... that any acquaintance they had was through different highschools and the church, back in the day.

Am really not trying to crucify this guy, just that there are a number of us have this weird feeling based on such a total interjection into the immediate family circle and the household itself.

JMO

Not sure if it is relevant now, but I had the same weird feeling when I first read about his involvement and how he had sort of orchestrated the timing of the media appearances, etc. I still think it is weird, albeit surely completely innocent desire to help, but at the time I thought it would be a convenient way for someone tied to the killer to glean insider information.

Then there was that tweeter who shall remain unnamed, who was tweeting weird stuff and sent out a tweet about "RIP Tim Bosma" 35 minutes BEFORE THE NEWS CONFERENCE when LE announced Tim was deceased and his remains had been found. I surely found that one weirder than anything.

 

[swedie]

from the article:



Due to the above explanation, I got the impression it was not a recent connection ... that any acquaintance they had was through different highschools and the church, back in the day.

Am really not trying to crucify this guy, just that there are a number of us have this weird feeling based on such a total interjection into the immediate family circle and the household itself.

JMO

BBM
That would be a very weird feeling I agree, and what I found odd was that this male stranger showed up at SB's door unannounced wanting to help out and ended up staying for days even though he had a wife/family/home of his own. Myself I don't think I would be so trusting of anyone in a case such as SB was in. And then especially after her husband's remains were found. Ever heard of where a perp will revisit the scene of a crime just to see how things played out, for the heightened thrill of it? It almost gave me that sort of feeling at first.

Now I believe he is just that type of person who would lend a hand in a time of need, whether he was close to a person or not. His computer skills played an important role at the time and SB felt if that was the quickest way of bring awareness to the public, then PL must stay and monitor every lead coming in. I don't believe she would have been in a good state to focus on staying on top of social media during those dire days. Also she may have felt more secure having a male figure in the house instead of being alone and afraid. I do not know if there was any other male presence besides PL but if there was, SB may have felt even more secure/safe. JMO

 

[Curiositykitten]

IMO, SB would absolutely have not been alone. I can't imagine her family would have let her be alone in such circumstances.

While I do not share the feeling of "weirdness," I cannot deny that plenty of others do including PL's wife.

There is one thing I would say though. And that is PL would not have been part of this effort unless he was welcomed into it, which he clearly was.

So to say that he inserted or interjected himself isn't really correct. He was, according to the Star, singled out and asked to stay.

 

[skatergirl]

IMO, SB would absolutely have not been alone. I can't imagine her family would have let her be alone in such circumstances.

While I do not share the feeling of "weirdness," I cannot deny that plenty of others do including PL's wife.

There is one thing I would say though. And that is PL would not have been part of this effort unless he was welcomed into it, which he clearly was.

So to say that he inserted or interjected himself isn't really correct. He was, according to the Star, singled out and asked to stay.

bbm
PL did not ask to become as involved as he did, he simply arrived wanting to help because of a connection with TB, and given his knowledge and work in social media, was given the task of administering the facebook page
Quote from the article

He pulled into the driveway and trekked up to the volunteer-filled garage, where he spotted his friend Peter Lise, and asked to be put to work. When Lowe mentioned casually that he had been working in social media, Lise gave him a look.

“He said, ‘Hold on a second,’ and he ran inside the house,” Lowe said.

“Three or four minutes later, he came back and said, ‘Do you mind taking a look at our Facebook page?’”

 

[gimme sugar]

I guess for me there's a fine line between wanting to help out (which a lot of people wanted to, myself included), to inserting yourself into a family of a missing man whose family you barely knew. Into their home, sleeping on their couch etc. If my DH was missing and then found dead, regardless of who this person was, I wouldn't want them in my home unless I knew them very well. I understand the community tie and involvement but I'd still be uneasy. However that's just me and MOO

SB was NEVER left alone and there was an abundance of people staying at the house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I couldn't see her finding any risk with someone that EVERYONE knew, acquaintance or not, when there were people constantly around and there was barely a moment of rest/sleep.

 

[canadiangirl]

SB was NEVER left alone and there was an abundance of people staying at the house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I couldn't see her finding any risk with someone that EVERYONE knew, acquaintance or not, when there were people constantly around and there was barely a moment of rest/sleep.

I never said she was alone. I would have no way of knowing this so wouldn't make that comment.

 

[gimme sugar]

I never said she was alone. I would have no way of knowing this so wouldn't make that comment.

Ugh. Newb mistake. Sorry, I quoted the wrong post!