DM was arrested for theft and confinement while driving his Yukon on Cawthra Road, about 10 mins drive from his Etobicoke home.
1) In a Dutch community, there is NOTHING weird about this.
2) In a Christian community, one with VERY strong support, there is NOTHING weird about this.
3) In a tight Dutch knit, Christian community, there is definitely NOTHING weird about this.
If you have ever had the privilege to be a part of this, or know someone who is part of a community like this, you would know that when something half as bad as this happens, it doesn't just affect the friends/family/loved ones, it affects the ENTIRE community (and by community, I don't mean just the town that they live in, but all Dutch/Christian Reformed all over the world).
There's a very popular phrase for a reason: "Don't mess with the Dutch".
1) In a Dutch community, there is NOTHING weird about this.
2) In a Christian community, one with VERY strong support, there is NOTHING weird about this.
3) In a tight Dutch knit, Christian community, there is definitely NOTHING weird about this.
If you have ever had the privilege to be a part of this, or know someone who is part of a community like this, you would know that when something half as bad as this happens, it doesn't just affect the friends/family/loved ones, it affects the ENTIRE community (and by community, I don't mean just the town that they live in, but all Dutch/Christian Reformed all over the world).
There's a very popular phrase for a reason: "Don't mess with the Dutch".
This article was discussed much earlier in one of the threads. Can't find it right now.
I don't think the feeling of "weirdness" that people are picking up on has anything to do with a degree of support being provided by a community. Generally, any community rallies around in such times. I really can't speak for other WSrs, but IMO, the undertones that folks are picking up on are moreso related to someone so publicly aligning themselves in such an emotional fashion with the wife of a man who, at that time he references, was only known to be missing. It's a gut thing that I have trouble explaining, other than he seems to project that, of all those surrounding her, he seems to convey that SB is giving him strong signals of his importance in the household. Most people who are that close to the victims are more protective of the victims privacy during such terrible times, and don't go so public immediately about the emotional aspect of their personal tragedy.
Maybe other WSrs who feel this "weirdness" can better explain how and why they get such vibes.
This article was discussed much earlier in one of the threads. Can't find it right now.
I don't think the feeling of "weirdness" that people are picking up on has anything to do with a degree of support being provided by a community. Generally, any community rallies around in such times. I really can't speak for other WSrs, but IMO, the undertones that folks are picking up on are moreso related to someone so publicly aligning themselves in such an emotional fashion with the wife of a man who, at that time he references, was only known to be missing. It's a gut thing that I have trouble explaining, other than he seems to project that, of all those surrounding her, he seems to convey that SB is giving him strong signals of his importance in the household. Most people who are that close to the victims are more protective of the victims privacy during such terrible times, and don't go so public immediately about the emotional aspect of their personal tragedy.
Maybe other WSrs who feel this "weirdness" can better explain how and why they get such vibes.
I think you summed it up quite well. I too felt this "weirdness" when I read a similar article in the Star a few weeks ago. PL and TB peripherally knew each other but, IIRC, they attended the same church and maybe that's why SB was comfortable with him right away... she felt she could trust him for that reason. In all likeliness there is nothing there, but I can't shake the "weirdness". It doesn't feel right to me. JMO
If I knew that someone could help in a very specific way, I was panicking and afraid of losing the ONE thing, that held our family together, I sure as hell would BEG someone with knowledge to stay. Especially if I knew that it could release a family member who was originally in charge of it, so that they could focus elsewhere.
Also, both SB and PL, are incredible people on their own. I can totally understand why SB would trust PL, especially knowing him from church and anyone at the house would have vouched for him, as all of TB's friends and family knew him growing up.
He and Bosma had known each other in their teens but had been little more than acquaintances, attending different high schools but the same church in Ancaster.
from the article:
Due to the above explanation, I got the impression it was not a recent connection ... that any acquaintance they had was through different highschools and the church, back in the day.
Am really not trying to crucify this guy, just that there are a number of us have this weird feeling based on such a total interjection into the immediate family circle and the household itself.
JMO
from the article:
Due to the above explanation, I got the impression it was not a recent connection ... that any acquaintance they had was through different highschools and the church, back in the day.
Am really not trying to crucify this guy, just that there are a number of us have this weird feeling based on such a total interjection into the immediate family circle and the household itself.
JMO
IMO, SB would absolutely have not been alone. I can't imagine her family would have let her be alone in such circumstances.
While I do not share the feeling of "weirdness," I cannot deny that plenty of others do including PL's wife.
There is one thing I would say though. And that is PL would not have been part of this effort unless he was welcomed into it, which he clearly was.
So to say that he inserted or interjected himself isn't really correct. He was, according to the Star, singled out and asked to stay.
I guess for me there's a fine line between wanting to help out (which a lot of people wanted to, myself included), to inserting yourself into a family of a missing man whose family you barely knew. Into their home, sleeping on their couch etc. If my DH was missing and then found dead, regardless of who this person was, I wouldn't want them in my home unless I knew them very well. I understand the community tie and involvement but I'd still be uneasy. However that's just me and MOO
I never said she was alone. I would have no way of knowing this so wouldn't make that comment.SB was NEVER left alone and there was an abundance of people staying at the house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I couldn't see her finding any risk with someone that EVERYONE knew, acquaintance or not, when there were people constantly around and there was barely a moment of rest/sleep.
I never said she was alone. I would have no way of knowing this so wouldn't make that comment.