I am really sorry of your experience with your own mother. That’s heartbreaking.
I agree that Lori can put on act. But she is very self aware and she doesn’t care as long as she wins.
In my opinion, her perception of herself has been very consistent in her selfish need to let others know SHE comes first. She shows no fear or empathy for others. I haven’t heard about episodes of paranoia, mistrust or mood swings. She knows exactly what she is doing and how to manipulate each person to doing her will. I always believed a family member dealing with someone who is BPD can see through it. The family member knows all too well that something is seriously wrong.
I think most of those who came into contact with Lori failed to see her for who she was until it was too late. (i.e., Joe, Charles, Colby, Tylee, JJ, her own family). JMO. And that’s why I think she is a psychopath who would kill again and she wouldn’t break.