Later in the last thread someone posted about an assault she experienced. She is a symbol of female strength, and many of us do not realize how hard it is to share that trauma. She was brave enough to share her memory(THANK YOU)- so I thought I would risk posting something a little....upsetting.
We all need to accept that female assault more common than we are told. I have spent many years in school focusing on Women's Studies and self-defense. One thing that has always bothered me is the lack of information that women and men provided with. We ARE strong, and we can't take it!! So here's the facts Ladies-
-1 out of every 2 women will experience some form of sexual assault in their lifetime.
That's you or someone love, someone you know.
-almost 20 percent of us will experience RAPE. That's 1 in every 5 girls that will be forced to endure the most evil of violations, and learn to live beyond it. - and to make things worse....Experts admit that those numbers are higher due to fear of reporting!!
-one in three victims of sexual assault are under 18- BABIES, KIDS.
-Every 8 minutes one child is sexually assaulted.
Why does this shock us? I can tell you that NO ONE ever informed me until I sought it out.
Why are we not warned? FEAR. Those numbers are horrifying. I know that letting my own daughters hear those facts was HARD, ok, almost impossible.
I didn't want my babies to know how vulnerable we are as females. I didn't want them to to live everyday with the fear of knowing that the world is full of predators.
It breaks my heart to admit that even with everything I've learned, I still have no idea how to perfectly protect my babies from not only the FEAR of these statistics, but the fact that one of them are likely to experience this terror themselves.
I feel helpless. But I have learned some important things, weapons, that I can give my kids to use. This is what hey have heard, over and over, from the time they could listen...
1. YOUR INSTINCTS DO NOT LIE. obey them.
When anyone near you is making you feel "aware", do not cower, ever. It all goes back to instincts and the "cat chasing the mouse" theory. I tell my girls to turn around, stand up straight and FACE IT. Look the person in the eye- LET THEM KNOW YOU ARE AWARE they are near you -and tell them with your eyes that you will not be easy to mess with. If you feel fear, express it.. LOUDLY AND FIRMLY, do not be nice. Don't ever be afraid to make a mistake, you will never embarrass yourself because men are not idiots. Good men understand and appreciate that we are protective of our spaces. They have mothers. If you make a mistake- "Then you can walk away and be proud that you put your strong little body before a stranger's feelings." Be even stronger the next time.
2. We are often warned many robberies will not become violent as long as we don't fight back. TRUE- Don't fight to keep your things.
HOWEVER.....
SEXAUL ASSAULT IS DIFFERENT.
Compliance often feeds them your power- they will use your fear to make them stronger. Rapists want something that will not go away until they violate you or it is clear to them that they will not get what they want easily. They want power. Monsters will tell you that what they want is your body. They are lying. They are looking for YOUR POWER, and they will use your body and you fear to get it. I tell my girls to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT. I want them to CURSE, scratch, pee, OR THROW UP on the predator. I let my girls know that the best chance they have in a sexual attack is by FIGHTING. "When bad people say they wont hurt you if you don't fight- listen to only the words HURT AND FIGHT. ALWAYS FIGHT. (I realize that there are times this won't work, but statistics show that our best chance to survive is to FIGHT.)
IMO, from all I have learned; this is the most powerful advice I can give my girls to survive sexual assault. Statistics have proven this and I want them to know.
Remember, ignorance is fear- if we know, we have power.
Hope this helps
There are a few other things that I think are important...but those two are the best weapons I have to give my kids and keep them safe.
Let you me know if
this doesn't bore you and I'll add a few other things I've learned
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