Found Deceased Ks - Lucas Hernandez, 5, Wichita, 17 Feb 2018 #31

[Steelslady]

You are changing the hearts and world of many by not only sharing Lucas with us, but inspiring change in his memory! You and your entire family remain in my nightly prayers always <3
#lucasstrong #bebatman #endchildabuse

AlwaysHopeToHelp- beautifully said. If only Bethany realizes just how much of a difference she has made all across the world. Bethany, you are aware that people from all over the world read and post on this board. You have touched all of us. You have made a difference every single day since you signed up here. You were Lucas' best advocate throughout this entire time- you did it with such class, grace, and patience.

 

[Philigumbo]

AlwaysHopeToHelp- beautifully said. If only Bethany realizes just how much of a difference she has made all across the world. Bethany, you are aware that people from all over the world read and post on this board. You have touched all of us. You have made a difference every single day since you signed up here. You were Lucas' best advocate throughout this entire time- you did it with such class, grace, and patience.

Beautifully stated, Steelslady! I believe it speaks for us all.

 

[creepcrusher]

Thank you... I think we're going to have to do that.

I do want to say that I'm definitely not the glue. That would be my mother in law. She's amazing.

We had it planned out that when Lucas was found she would come get my husband and me and we would be the ones to tell Jamie (that didn't happen.. Jamie found out through the media). When she called to tell me he had been found, she was the one who had to tell me "just breathe... just breathe". She's our rock.

I agree with ”Steelslady.” You have to take care of YOU. Don’t let yourself drown in regret and what ifs. It’s toxic and Lucas wouldn’t want that. Go out and get some fresh air. Change up the scenery. Even if you don’t feel like doing anything, force yourself to do it. It’s healthy for you and your family. You have to keep living and know that Lucas knew how much you loved him and he is in good loving gentle hands now. No longer in pain. You did what you could and you are not to blame.

 

[Horror]

Thank you... I think we're going to have to do that.

I do want to say that I'm definitely not the glue. That would be my mother in law. She's amazing.

We had it planned out that when Lucas was found she would come get my husband and me and we would be the ones to tell Jamie (that didn't happen.. Jamie found out through the media). When she called to tell me he had been found, she was the one who had to tell me "just breathe... just breathe". She's our rock.

FLA - many heartfelt hugs and comfort sent from across the ocean. I agree with all the words and comfort being sent to you from our beautiful posters here.
But I could not go past this post that states you found out via media. I am appalled at anyone and everyone to blame for that. Be kind to yourself as best you can when that wave comes and goes to your soul x

 

[deedee21]

The police were called and they refused to look at him. Jonathan caught wind that he was covered in bruises and Emily was being blamed so he sent Emily to pick him up before he could be taken to the ER.

I will personally live the rest of my life regretting not doing more. And I deserve to live with this guilt. Because I failed him. He needed me and I failed him. So, yes, "hindsight" I guess.

Thats what humans do.
They blame themselves.
Its not your fault.

I will tell you where the problem lies.
THE SYSTEM.
I think we have all noticed that the cops, hospital, Drs, and caring parents have no say in the matter when abuse is observed.
The only ones who ultimately have a say is Child Services.
Why was all the POWER handed over to them?
You go to jail if you try to bypass them.
They have a history of seperating the accusor from the victim.
Thats what Emily did.
They are inhuman.
They are nothing but a pack of azzholes.

Publicly blast the cops that refused to see Lucas. Bring it to everyones attention.
Blas CPS for refusing to believe Lucas.
Blast them for believing Emily and not checking into her background.

There has to be change.
LE, Drs, ect should not be expected to step aside and be told its CPS's decisión.

This is Emily and Lucas fathers fault.

 

[deedee21]

This is correct.

It was between Jaime and Johnathon.
And along came Emily.

 

[RMT953]

As I sit here today, tears rolling down my face, I still don’t know how to wrap my head around it all. My heart hurts for @FindLucasAllen, Jamie and all of the family. I’ve been here since the beginning as a local, on WS and behind the scenes. If I feel like the last 4 months seems like an eternity I can’t imagine how the family feels. My heart still aches for y’all.

@FindLucasAllen - you more than did your part 5 years ago, when the monster came into the picture and still doing so currently. Please don’t blame yourself. You did more than most would have. You’re amazing. Take all of the time you need to heal. You do NOT owe any of us an explanation of anything. Not a single thing. Put your phone, tablet, laptop, any device in timeout if needed. Continuing to pray for you all.

I know we all have emotions running high and want answers but at some point the family needs to be able to heal. CPS, DCF, LE, JH, EG - have a part in this and should be held to the fire. Not the ones who tried.

 

[?mysterian?]

The police were called and they refused to look at him. Jonathan caught wind that he was covered in bruises and Emily was being blamed so he sent Emily to pick him up before he could be taken to the ER.

I will personally live the rest of my life regretting not doing more. And I deserve to live with this guilt. Because I failed him. He needed me and I failed him. So, yes, "hindsight" I guess.

I'm sorry, FLA, but I disagree with this. You did everything you knew what to do. This is not your fault. You are not responsible for EG's and JH's actions. They are responsible for this horrible tragedy, maybe along with some others. They all will be held accountable.

Please take the great advice being offered. Take care of yourself and your family. Don't be so hard on yourself. (Not trying to boss you around ) I hope that with time you gain perspective and some semblance of balance and peace.

 

[joanna22]

Fla, I pray for peace for you and your family. You all did what you could for Lucas.

It's so sad that the system failed Lucas. The were so many chances that people with the legal power had the chance to get this child out of his situation and they turned their backs on him. I have a hard time understanding how those people could do that but from other current cases in Wichita, it seems to be the current norm.

May Lucas rest in peace, hopefully not in vain. My hope is that something will change in how these reports are dealt with. I think it's important for his story to be told as a lesson for others to do their job to protect these kids.

Stepping off my soap box....

 

[Charliegizmo49]

FLA. one final comment form me and I’m going to let you get back to your life.

Thank you for sharing all you have shared last evening. I had hoped my first post to you would be met exactly as you did. And that you realized I was asking not out of curiosity but because so many of us care.

None of us have been in this position, and I think all have found a significant emotional bond with Lucas. With every post with everything shared you brought him closer and helped his light shine much brighter for each of us. I am at a loss to find words other than thank you.

Know that most here wish you strength and because we can’t do more we pray for your family. And for each person, searcher, volunteer, LE and anyone involved during the last several months the same. A public memorial will help Wichita heal and perhaps work some unexpected miracles. In fact it already has done just that very important thing.

You did everything humanly possible with a system long broken to protect Lucas. So many reports go uninvestigated and Lucas had multiple reports which were ignored or deemed unfounded. None of it is your fault. It is something you will understand in therapy.

After a time when wounds and emotions are a little less raw and painful perhaps it might be time to fix DCF so another child can be safe.

And once again thank you. I wish you strength.

 

[Charliegizmo49]

Deleted. I see FLA responded.

ETA: Not telling anyone how to post, but I don't think WS was created to blame the victims left standing after a horrible person has left their wrath. Blaming anyone but the perpetrator doesn't help to get justice for Lucas or help us to deduce the facts.

I agree. Maybe it’s time to let FLA get back to life. She has been so very gracious and sharing.

And perhaps it’s the day more information will be shared from the DA and LE.

 

[DakotaMayi]

The police were called and they refused to look at him. Jonathan caught wind that he was covered in bruises and Emily was being blamed so he sent Emily to pick him up before he could be taken to the ER.

I will personally live the rest of my life regretting not doing more. And I deserve to live with this guilt. Because I failed him. He needed me and I failed him. So, yes, "hindsight" I guess.

I can't "like" this post, FLA. I usually like all of your posts. But I can't with this. You did not fail him. See the efforts of his own father to cover up his sons pain? See the efforts of the gf to live her without Lucas?... See the efforts of you to try to save this boy?... You are on the opposite end of the spectrum to failing as you can be. You do not deserve to live feeling guilt at all. What kind of a father sends his abusive gf to get his son so that he doesn't get checked over at the ER?... no, FLA, you didn't fail him.

 

[snowshuze]

The police were called and they refused to look at him. Jonathan caught wind that he was covered in bruises and Emily was being blamed so he sent Emily to pick him up before he could be taken to the ER.

I will personally live the rest of my life regretting not doing more. And I deserve to live with this guilt. Because I failed him. He needed me and I failed him. So, yes, "hindsight" I guess.

No sweetie, you didn't fail him. His father did.
I'm sending you a HUGE virtual hug right now.
MOO and stuff.

 

[whatsnext]

I took some time to think about this question because I've never really stopped to think about it.

I've typed this out a few times and then deleted it because I don't really like talking about myself... But here it goes. Mods, this is clearly a "me" post so it won't hurt my feelings if you delete this.

It's been 20 days since Lucas was found, but every one of those days has blended together into one long day (I had to get out the calendar and count how many days it had been because it only feels like maybe a week or so). Actually the entire last four (?) months have blended together, too.

Our lives have been almost nothing but Lucas for so long. I prepared my mind for a very long haul... for him to be found, then a trial, etc. Now that Emily is dead, the end of the tunnel is coming much faster than I had prepared for. So I'm dealing with those emotions. I'm not prepared to heal yet. Keeping these emotions raw keeps Lucas at the front of my heart and mind.

I haven't showered in several days. The house is a mess. I'm starting to hit the end of my rope with people elsewhere and I've been a bit... sassy.

But I'll be ok. I'll heal. I'll find my path to help Lucas change the world.

My son and I are both in therapy. We don't talk about Lucas yet, but we know we can when we're ready.

After writing all of that, I really need to say that I worry far more about Jamie and the rest of the family. They're not ok and I want so badly to take away this pain for them.

ETA: My husband is telling me I showered yesterday.

Bethany, thanks so much for sharing your feelings, I am so sorry that all of you have to go through this painful time ...
Stay strong!!
Lucas is watching

 

[kkdj]

Thank you... I think we're going to have to do that.

I do want to say that I'm definitely not the glue. That would be my mother in law. She's amazing.

We had it planned out that when Lucas was found she would come get my husband and me and we would be the ones to tell Jamie (that didn't happen.. Jamie found out through the media). When she called to tell me he had been found, she was the one who had to tell me "just breathe... just breathe". She's our rock.

I'm so sorry. Idk what Jamies history is, but she sounds like an amazing woman.

 

[kkdj]

No sweetie, you didn't fail him. His father did.
I'm sending you a HUGE virtual hug right now.
MOO and stuff.

The police failed him! Not you FLA. What the heck? I've been a victim of police failure too. Don'tblame yourself. They tie our hands.

 

[kkdj]

I took some time to think about this question because I've never really stopped to think about it.

I've typed this out a few times and then deleted it because I don't really like talking about myself... But here it goes. Mods, this is clearly a "me" post so it won't hurt my feelings if you delete this.

It's been 20 days since Lucas was found, but every one of those days has blended together into one long day (I had to get out the calendar and count how many days it had been because it only feels like maybe a week or so). Actually the entire last four (?) months have blended together, too.

Our lives have been almost nothing but Lucas for so long. I prepared my mind for a very long haul... for him to be found, then a trial, etc. Now that Emily is dead, the end of the tunnel is coming much faster than I had prepared for. So I'm dealing with those emotions. I'm not prepared to heal yet. Keeping these emotions raw keeps Lucas at the front of my heart and mind.

I haven't showered in several days. The house is a mess. I'm starting to hit the end of my rope with people elsewhere and I've been a bit... sassy.

But I'll be ok. I'll heal. I'll find my path to help Lucas change the world.

My son and I are both in therapy. We don't talk about Lucas yet, but we know we can when we're ready.

After writing all of that, I really need to say that I worry far more about Jamie and the rest of the family. They're not ok and I want so badly to take away this pain for them.

ETA: My husband is telling me I showered yesterday.

I so relate. Hugs and hugs to you. People are lucky to have you in their lives. You made me cry with this post. Good woman, yes you are.

 

[casesensitive]

I was incorrect thinking that it was FLA who said Lucas put the tattoos on his arm. It was actually JO who said it in her radio interview.
She was discussing how he was covered in bruises and said "he put tattoos on his arm to cover the bruises at my grampa's funeral". (18.04)

Thank you Steelslady for taking the time to find the interview for me.

Missing Person: Lucas Hernandez

 

[kkdj]

AlwaysHopeToHelp- beautifully said. If only Bethany realizes just how much of a difference she has made all across the world. Bethany, you are aware that people from all over the world read and post on this board. You have touched all of us. You have made a difference every single day since you signed up here. You were Lucas' best advocate throughout this entire time- you did it with such class, grace, and patience.

Amen

 

[flute4peace]

Thank you... I think we're going to have to do that.

I do want to say that I'm definitely not the glue. That would be my mother in law. She's amazing.

We had it planned out that when Lucas was found she would come get my husband and me and we would be the ones to tell Jamie (that didn't happen.. Jamie found out through the media). When she called to tell me he had been found, she was the one who had to tell me "just breathe... just breathe". She's our rock.

oh my dear Lord. I just gasped out loud.