Relaying information is different from gossip IMO.
I agree. But the information you were requesting was not available to relay.
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Relaying information is different from gossip IMO.
I agree. But the information you were requesting was not available to relay.
Right. It wasn't. But if it had been, it would not have been gossip.
Not that it matters much at this point, but her husband didn't take her for a "safety assessment", he took her because she was feeling stressed and anxious. The safety assessment is a routine part of an exam in a patient with stress and anxiety. They literally give you a sheet of paper and ask you to score on a scale from 1-5 how often you have trouble sleeping, eating, want to hurt yourself, etc. From my understanding, her assessment showed that she wasn't a danger to herself. I'm sure her husband took comfort in that, and in the fact that a "plan" had been developed to help her feel better. Most people experience stress and anxiety from time to time...most don't commit suicide. I doubt the thought ever crossed his mind prior to him finally realizing she was missing.
Ok, I see where you are getting that now. I do think that was a slight misrepresentation by the Huff Post, but again it's kind of a moot point now.Missing Maine Teacher Was Sleepless, Stressed, Husband Says | HuffPost
Not to beleaguer the point, but the “safety assessment” quote came from Jay Westra—according to a HuffPost article: Missing Maine Teacher Was Sleepless, Stressed, Husband Says | HuffPost
in retrospect I was relieved - her darling daughter still has one parent to look after her. so many people were pointing the finger at Jay. I think many of us mask a happiness that is expectedI was so sad when I read it was a confirmed suicide. I feel tormented to know people feel there is no way out or any help and the only thing to do is take their life. So tragic for KW, her husband, children, family and friends. People should not feel ashamed of mental illness. I looked at my own health insurance and if I needed mental health counseling, I would get 12 sessions per year. Once a month? That cannot be enough to help someone. We have to do better than this!
MontereyMama, someone close to me who killed himself genuinely believed that his loved ones would be better off without him. If you are able to wrap your head around that thought, you will see that some people who commit suicide are doing what they truly believe is best for everyone. His thoughts were totally incorrect and his loved ones were devastated, but his thoughts are typical of what serious depression can make you believe.
in retrospect I was relieved - her darling daughter still has one parent to look after her. so many people were pointing the finger at Jay. I think many of us mask a happiness that is expected
This is a beautifully put post. Thank you.I will say this.
Not everyone who dies by suicide is "mentally ill", or "depressed" in the sense that there is a unifying definition of depression that we can apply to the experience of a distraught suicidal person, and there is no unifying cause for suicidal death. Suicide is often reflexive and can occur in an escalating perfect storm. There is nothing more hurtful or frankly offensive than hearing "How could he/she do that to his/her family/didn't he/she realize...", and it's frankly not even a relevant question. One way to think about it is, do we ask why the 9/11 jumpers didn't think of their family? Sometimes 'jumping' is the lesser bad option than letting the building burn with you in it, so to speak (not speaking for Kristin or others, just using the image to redirect from the 'how could they/why didn't they just get counseling' perceptions).
I personally don't ascribe to the idea that people who take their lives transfer their pain. Pain and despair and a sense of no further meaning (the building is rapidly burning and believed to soon be in ashes) cannot be transferred, and the traumatic outcome for loved ones is too deep and wide to articulate here. It's a stay in your lane kind of thing, no offense, but one of the most frustrating issues can be outsiders thinking they 'get' what this tragedy is about for any party involved.
Others looking in often think they know what they would or wouldn't do, or what could 'solve' such a crisis. To that I would say, they have not faced the particular degree of heat or utterly untenable circumstance that would ignite their building. And all humans have a place on the dial for the amount of heat and back to the wall, no way out scenario they can take. I offer these images and thoughts to perhaps lend some perspective in a situation that is still taboo and harshly judged. You can't think like someone whose tower is on fire in NYC if your house is at no risk in Kansas, nor can you think like the person who has to keep living after the tower is gone. You just can't. Not your fault.
My heart aches for her and for her family. This is just the beginning and I hope they find the right support because not everyone does.
FWIW
The most cruel part of depression is that it is a wicked, wicked liar. Imagine having to question your own feelings to know if they are truth or depression telling you lies. It's exhausting and in the grips of depression, impossible.
Getting to the point of completing suicide is typically a long road. They generally really do feel that they are doing the right thing by everyone. It's heartbreaking.
I'm so glad she was found and her family knows, though. They may be able to grieve now.