Wes is abusive to other people when he curses at them and threatens them. That makes him an abuser. There's plenty of evidence of this. The fact that Ally moved home, not into her own apartment, and had a very long commute when she made good money says to me that a). she felt the need to never be alone (physical safety) and b). she wanted emotional support from family, especially her mom.
The I love you--just ONE, by the way, right?-- and attendance at a party mean nothing to me other than they are an attempt to remain on the good side of a dangerous person. The I love you is said in the context of a silly incident involving a cat and artwork! This isn`t a passionate declaration of love! People say I love you casually all the time. This hardly proves they were in the throes of a loving relationship at that time. Wes had been on dating sites and Ally made no plans get back together with him. She did make plans to see another man in Florida. Wes can claim anything now that Ally is gone, but he's a suspect in her murder, so of course he wants to do what he can. Her mother says they were NOT getting back together.
Wes says she stayed there several times a week. Wes is a liar according to police. I don't believe him. Maybe she stayed there occasionally when it was convenient due to the long commute or in order to pacify Wes as mentioned above, but there's no proof.
Why is there this bending over backwards to give the benefit of the doubt to a lying abuser? I don't get it. I guess we all have different standards of what's acceptable behavior, and the rampant abuse and violence against women in our society is proof of that--Ally's murder is the biggest proof of all, of course.