GUILTY MN - Kira Trevino, 30, St Paul, 22 February 2013

[Confusion]

I don't see most of that stuff to be important in the greater scheme of things. Whether JT was physically, emotionally or mentally abusive, controlling, the perfect partner, cheating, obsessed or anything else, she wanted out of the relationship. Again, whether she was cheating, abusive, cold and heartless, perfect or anything else, she didn't deserve to be murdered. MOO

 

[Oller]

What I do not understand is why all you commentors want to blame JT for Kira wanting a divorce. This is pure speculation. Why not choose a more likely reason that is more factual. She found a new guy. Maybe better looking,more fun,made more money or any of the usual reasons people stray in their marraige. Without evidence to the contrary, maybe JT did nothing to cause her to want out. Kira told her friends he just "didn't get it".

Kira isn't here to defend herself. That is why there is no evidence to the contrary.

 

[SteveP]

Websleuths is supposed to be, by TOS, a victim-friendly site. I think we all can agree that Kira meets the criteria of a victim. And unless he is the most unlucky human ever, JT is the victim's killer. In my book, that is enough said. JMO

 

[bwt42]

Websleuths is supposed to be, by TOS, a victim-friendly site. I think we all can agree that Kira meets the criteria of a victim. And unless he is the most unlucky human ever, JT is the victim's killer. In my book, that is enough said. JMO

I agree--victim friendly sight. Kira was the victim of a murderous husband. Jeff the victim of an adulterous affair by his wife.

 

[Spacegirl Blues]

Pure speculation on your part about JT's personality. Lets stick with whats known. One of his friends characterized him as being consumed and stressed by what she was up to. Sounds like emotional abuse. She tells her friends he "doesn't get it". How cold to refer to the man your married to in this way. Why not I really feel bad about this because I know he still loves me.

I was going off an article where Kira's father mentioned some red-flags that went unnoticed. (I can't cite the article because the paper requires a paying subscription) I also said that it was MOO, unless I used that wrong because I am new here and not familiar with all the acronyms.

 

[SteveP]

I agree--victim friendly sight. Kira was the victim of a murderous husband. Jeff the victim of an adulterous affair by his wife.

Well, she certainly more than paid for her sin. Now I pray that he pays for his. JMO

 

[Spacegirl Blues]

Here you go BWT42

Pure speculation on your part about JT's personality. Lets stick with whats known. One of his friends characterized him as being consumed and stressed by what she was up to. Sounds like emotional abuse. She tells her friends he "doesn't get it". How cold to refer to the man your married to in this way. Why not I really feel bad about this because I know he still loves me.

http://www.wausaudailyherald.com/ar...1/305100443/Father-regrets-ignoring-red-flags

:snipped:
In the eight years that Kira Trevino had lived with her husband, Jeffery, her father said he had never met, or talked to him once.

Jay Steger painted a portrait of man that was extremely anti-social, avoiding any family functions and interactions with Kira’s friends.

I was wrong about the comment about friends but was partially MOO.

:snipped from article:
Steger first became suspicious of her daughter’s relationship with her husband after Kira reached out to him through a Facebook message shortly before her disappearance.
“I haven’t told mom yet, don’t say anything, but I may be looking for my own apartment and I don’t know if you could help me, or would want to help me out, but I need a loan. I can try the bank, but I don’t know if I can or not. I’m just not sure what’s going on in my life right now,” the message said.
“As soon as she said ‘don’t tell mom,’ I called mom ... because she’s never reached out to me before like that,” Steger said. “We didn’t know at that time anything was going on. That was our first inkling that something was wrong and nobody knew. Everyone thought she was happy.”

IMO, when someone reaches out like this, especially when it's something that person normally wouldn't do, that person is sensing something is amiss or that things could become hostile or more hostile at home. Needing money on short notice to find a safe place to live. This doesn't sound like a person who just wants to leave her husband simply because she found someone better. IMO again that this other man was a person she trusted, maybe an emotional affair, someone who gave her hope that she could have a better life than whatever was happening at home.

Please tell me if expressing my speculations based on all the media I've read is not allowed on this forum.

 

[SteveP]

http://www.wausaudailyherald.com/ar...1/305100443/Father-regrets-ignoring-red-flags

:snipped:
In the eight years that Kira Trevino had lived with her husband, Jeffery, her father said he had never met, or talked to him once.

Jay Steger painted a portrait of man that was extremely anti-social, avoiding any family functions and interactions with Kira’s friends.

I was wrong about the comment about friends but was partially MOO.

:snipped from article:
Steger first became suspicious of her daughter’s relationship with her husband after Kira reached out to him through a Facebook message shortly before her disappearance.
“I haven’t told mom yet, don’t say anything, but I may be looking for my own apartment and I don’t know if you could help me, or would want to help me out, but I need a loan. I can try the bank, but I don’t know if I can or not. I’m just not sure what’s going on in my life right now,” the message said.
“As soon as she said ‘don’t tell mom,’ I called mom ... because she’s never reached out to me before like that,” Steger said. “We didn’t know at that time anything was going on. That was our first inkling that something was wrong and nobody knew. Everyone thought she was happy.”

IMO, when someone reaches out like this, especially when it's something that person normally wouldn't do, that person is sensing something is amiss or that things could become hostile or more hostile at home. Needing money on short notice to find a safe place to live. This doesn't sound like a person who just wants to leave her husband simply because she found someone better. IMO again that this other man was a person she trusted, maybe an emotional affair, someone who gave her hope that she could have a better life than whatever was happening at home.

Please tell me if expressing my speculations based on all the media I've read is not allowed on this forum. I guess I connected to Kira's story, not just because we are from the same region but I've walked in her chillingly similar shoes.

Speculation is fine as long as it is based on facts or information reported in MSM (I know you said you don't know all the acronyms here, so that is mainstream media) and you state that it is your opinion, which you did. HTH (Happy to help)!

ETA... IMO = in my opinion, IMHO = in my humble opinion, JMO = just my opinion, MOO = my opinion only or my own opinion (unless you are a cow, and then it may be almost anything)

 

[azure]

I agree--victim friendly sight. Kira was the victim of a murderous husband. Jeff the victim of an adulterous affair by his wife.

Also, do we have any msm confirmation that Kira was having an affair? AFAIK, Jeffery said something to the effect of, he found out she wasn't coming home at night. This could mean that she was staying with friends because of conflicts with Jeffery. I would never believe anything from the mouth of an accused murderer.

 

[Spacegirl Blues]

Also, do we have any msm confirmation that Kira was having an affair? AFAIK, Jeffery said something to the effect of, he found out she wasn't coming home at night. This could mean that she was staying with friends because of conflicts with Jeffery. I would never believe anything from the mouth of an accused murderer.

MSM mentioned a man with whom she was "romantically involved" or "romantically linked" and was traveling from South Dakota to Colorado at the time of her disappearance. The man's address was written on something in Kira's car. It would be difficult to derive the exact nature of their relationship from such terminology. Therefore to take the word romantically and consider it full out adultery would thus constitute speculation. One could speculate in the other direction that it was a mere flirtation.

 

[imamaze]

Everyone here has a right to give their opinion without being attacked for it or for being accused of being someone. It is against TOS to do this. Disagree with the post, do not attack another member for giving an opinion.

If you don't like the post just scroll on by. If you feel a post is against TOS then alert on it.

:tyou:

 

[bwt42]

MSM mentioned a man with whom she was "romantically involved" or "romantically linked" and was traveling from South Dakota to Colorado at the time of her disappearance. The man's address was written on something in Kira's car. It would be difficult to derive the exact nature of their relationship from such terminology. Therefore to take the word romantically and consider it full out adultery would thus constitute speculation. One could speculate in the other direction that it was a mere flirtation.

If my wife was texting someone in a romantic way while seeking a separation from me and I loved her, this would not be a good thing. This would cause me extreme emotional pain. I don't know if I could live with the pain. I could never cause this pain to my spouse. But thats just me. I have followed this case from the get-go. Kira was a beautiful girl. I've looked at hundreds of pictures of kira & JT. Her earlier pictures show a brown haired girl with simple cloths and understated make-up. Later pictures show a well groomed blond dressed much better than her husband. Imho she was very into her looks, going to the gym and tanning salon. This does not make her a bad person. If she left JT, I would feel sorry for him. If he is responsible for her death ( i'm sure he is), I still feel sad for him. I am not suggesting Kira did anything wrong. I just feel bad when a marriage ends and someone is hurt.

 

[cocomod]

I have to say that I honestly believe that there were problems in the marriage that may not have been known to outsiders. I had an ex-husband that isolated me. He didn't allow me contact with my family and he didn't want me to have friends either. This isolation was intended to keep me from talking about our marriage and finding out that our marriage was not normal or healthy.

I also believe that it is common for a woman as she matures to take a different approach to her looks/attire. She may find a different style that works better for her. Whether in a good relationship, or a bad one, she may find a new "look" that she likes better. Or, in my case, my ex-husband wanted me to change my look. He liked me to be sexier. He wanted me to "flaunt" what I have, even if he was jealous when others looked at me.

It is sad that Kira is not here to tell us what happened to their relationship. It is obvious that it had soured. It is NOT obvious, IMHO, why it soured. There are obvious signs that she was unhappy in the relationship, and that may have lead her to look outside of the marriage for comfort and support. It is not something I would do or condone, but it does happen. Sometimes, that type of relationship if found quite by accident. Sometimes, a guy notices a distressed woman, and he tries to help. Somewhere along the way, feelings get involved.

Either way, Kira had the right to leave a relationship that no longer worked. She had a right to pursue a happier life. Unfortunately, someone took away that right. Someone made her pay the ultimate price for wanting happiness. Right now, I honestly believe that this someone was JT. He had NO right to stop her from leaving the marriage, and he had NO right to stop her from living in happiness elsewhere. It drives me CRAZY how many times I read on WS about a man taking the life of a woman he "claims" to love because she wants to leave him. If you love someone (something), set it free, if it comes back to you...

 

[ArianeEmory]

Her earlier pictures show a brown haired girl with simple cloths and understated make-up. Later pictures show a well groomed blond dressed much better than her husband. Imho she was very into her looks, going to the gym and tanning salon. This does not make her a bad person.

With respect, if you acknowledge that it doesn't make her a bad person, why do you mention it?

It's very common for women to become more interested in grooming and taking care of their looks as they become older, either through experience and learning what looks good on them, or getting to a good place in life to focus on oneself, or--and remember that as women we are STILL told that much of our value is in our looks--in an attempt to combat the aging process.

It's clear you're implying there was something unsavory about her trying to look nicer, and I assume your implication is that she was trying to look nice for someone other than her husband. It's certainly possible and it's definitely something human beings of both genders do. But she still didn't deserve to be murdered, and neither does anyone else who decides to take better care of themselves. This stuff borders on 'she had it coming', which personally makes me uncomfortable.

 

[GulfCoastKAT]

I don't know if murder is the ultimate control. Since following this story, I felt that the martial problems were one sided. Kira wanted out. On my post of 3/24 I suggested Kira had a boyfriend. The minneapolis star tribune confirmed this today. Jeff may have so loved her he couldn't bear the thought of her being with anyone else. When you so love someone, divorce does not seem to solve "most of the problems". My wife and I both agreed that if either one of us had an affair and wanted out the pain would be unbearable. divorce would not quell the hurt. But we took our vows seriously--not till something better came along.

That's all good that you and your wife believe in your wedding vows- my husband and I take ours seriously as well. My personal belief is if you don't mean them, don't say them. This is not the issue at hand and can get OT very quickly. My husband is my 2nd one. That does not mean the 1st didn't matter. I meant my vows and took them seriously then too. But things change.no one knows everything about what goes in behind closed doors or inside the dynamic of a relationship. Kira and Jeff would hardly be the the 1st couple to post photos on social media that are happy or give the impression of a couple very much in love when it's not 100% the case. Or maybe they were blissfully happy when the pics were taken? We don't know.
If Kira had a boyfriend and wanted out, she had that right. Yes, an affair and or divorce HURTS. A lot. I know. That still does not excuse murder.

 

[GulfCoastKAT]

Pure speculation on your part about JT's personality. Lets stick with whats known. One of his friends characterized him as being consumed and stressed by what she was up to. Sounds like emotional abuse. She tells her friends he "doesn't get it". How cold to refer to the man your married to in this way. Why not I really feel bad about this because I know he still loves me.

Your arguments are coming off as very personal. Did you know Jeff? Of course you don't have to answer that but maybe that will help us understand why you are trying to convince us that he is a victim of his wife's emotional abuse- abuse there is also no evidence of. The victim here on web sleuths has her name on the top of the thread. Jeff Trevino is not a victim here on this crime forum. His murdered wife is.

 

[GulfCoastKAT]

What I do not understand is why all you commentors want to blame JT for Kira wanting a divorce. This is pure speculation. Why not choose a more likely reason that is more factual. She found a new guy. Maybe better looking,more fun,made more money or any of the usual reasons people stray in their marraige. Without evidence to the contrary, maybe JT did nothing to cause her to want out. Kira told her friends he just "didn't get it".

Even if we do go with that-

Okay, Kira wanted a divorce for any number of reasons. She has that right. And she also has the right to life.

He had no right to murder her.

 

[GulfCoastKAT]

If my wife was texting someone in a romantic way while seeking a separation from me and I loved her, this would not be a good thing. This would cause me extreme emotional pain. I don't know if I could live with the pain. I could never cause this pain to my spouse. But thats just me. I have followed this case from the get-go. Kira was a beautiful girl. I've looked at hundreds of pictures of kira & JT. Her earlier pictures show a brown haired girl with simple cloths and understated make-up. Later pictures show a well groomed blond dressed much better than her husband. Imho she was very into her looks, going to the gym and tanning salon. This does not make her a bad person. If she left JT, I would feel sorry for him. If he is responsible for her death ( i'm sure he is), I still feel sad for him. I am not suggesting Kira did anything wrong. I just feel bad when a marriage ends and someone is hurt.

As do I. I personally know he pain of an affair. My ex-husband had several. I didn't think I could live through the pain it caused me at one point. It was unbearable. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But I also didn't think that I should kill him for it. I filed for divorce- something JT could have done. A divorce did not magically make my pain disappear. It took a long time for that to happen & required the services of a professional therapist as well. It was ugly and raw and so, so hard. I have a family of ex-in-laws that still have their son,uncle, brother, nephew, etc. he is still walking the streets, going to work, remarried, enjoying his life without me and that's perfectly okay with me. His life his right and no one has the right to take it from him. I certainly never would have no matter how much he hurt me.

 

[ArianeEmory]

For some greater context, bwt42, I don't know how long you've been around this site or read about true crime, but those of us who have been posters or lurkers for a while, or who have read any amount of true crime, know this story backwards and forwards. It's sad how many times a case very much like this comes up: wife goes missing, husband is usually the last one to have seen her alive, the husband makes a handful of comments we've all heard a hundred times, and the thread is usually barely a few pages long before someone says "We've heard that before...", which is basically shorthand for "the husband did it". And usually they are correct. Statistically it is so. After you've been involved with a large number of these cases, you start to lose any sympathy for any justification of the murderer's point of view.

No one ever deserves to die for being in an unhappy relationship. Marriage vows don't make it okay, religion doesn't make it okay, being cheated on doesn't make it okay.

I know you've referenced being 'beaten up' on this thread, and I suspect some people WOULD like more information about your personal context here, but I thought it might be helpful for you to understand ours as well.

 

[bwt42]

For some greater context, bwt42, I don't know how long you've been around this site or read about true crime, but those of us who have been posters or lurkers for a while, or who have read any amount of true crime, know this story backwards and forwards. It's sad how many times a case very much like this comes up: wife goes missing, husband is usually the last one to have seen her alive, the husband makes a handful of comments we've all heard a hundred times, and the thread is usually barely a few pages long before someone says "We've heard that before...", which is basically shorthand for "the husband did it". And usually they are correct. Statistically it is so. After you've been involved with a large number of these cases, you start to lose any sympathy for any justification of the murderer's point of view.

No one ever deserves to die for being in an unhappy relationship. Marriage vows don't make it okay, religion doesn't make it okay, being cheated on doesn't make it okay.

I know you've referenced being 'beaten up' on this thread, and I suspect some people WOULD like more information about your personal context here, but I thought it might be helpful for you to understand ours as well.

I've read every true crime book I could find starting with the Blooding about 25 years ago. JT murdered his wife. This is unexcusabe. She did'nt disserve it. Am I clear. That being said, JT was obviously "consumed and stressed" by her disire to leave. If she was not killed would it be okay to feel sorry for JT? Can't we understand and feel his hurt. Yes, she was hurt more, but I can still feel for him. Will someone please give me a "like". I must hold the record for the most consecutive posts without a single one.