NC - Shaniya Davis, 5, Allegedly sold by mother 11/10/09 #23

[songline]

I need to make a point about some posts saying "what BL should have known" and others to that effect.
I have been a mother of 3 for almost 32 years and have always considered myself to be the best Mom my kids could ask for. Some even accused me of being overprotective, I didn't allow my oldest son to cross the street without me watching till he was almost 13 and never had other people besides our parents babysitting.
My two youngest grew up with some children of our neighbor's since they were in diapers and we cared for and loved each others children as if they were our own. Her kids even called me Mom #2 and vice versa.
When the kids got in their early teens my middle child went to spend the night with the family after we had moved to the next suburb over. While my child was there, the ex brother inlaw of the Mom kidnapped and molested my child, who was held for 2 days. 2 of the most horrific days of our lives. He was a repeat offender that had just gotten out of jail and was not even permitted to have contact with his own children.
When my child was located and the perp arrested, during trial, I first blamed myself for not knowing that this could have happened, not asking enough questions, and most certainly blamed the Mom for never telling be she had this kind of evil threat in her life. To some extent after all these years I still do. She blamed herself as well and to this day still can't look me in the eye because she knows had I known, I would have never let my children go there without me again.
Moral of my living nightmare from the past....sometimes we cant forsee evil when it lurks.

My grand kids know that even in the play ground they must be within my eye sight...if I cant see them and find them they go home no more play time. They are good kids and DO stay close to grandma.
HOWEVER
I do not compare men with women with regard to child care...
I do not think that men think like we do.
He thought as long as there is some woman, GF, SIS, grandma, etc...to take care of her it is all fine.

The problem I have is:
He knew that crowd, it was not a good area, and most of all the kid seems to have some signs abuse.
I know BL negates this, but even if someone merely suggested a cigarette burn...JUST the fact that others think that, would be enough to investigate it and arrange for sis,
to get her legally.
I do not think he would have gotten her, or that he had any merit in any case to get her, GIVEN that the Judge had already given his other children to grandparents so BL's record would not be squeaky clean , he did not have any jurisdiction only AD did. He just took the easy way out.
ALSO: his son seems like a nice kid, I would never allow him to go where there are felons, you should keep your children in good company and they don't fall in with the trash. JMO

 

[Kenziema]

I would also like to know what AD's mother means by, "I was there."

 

[tlcya]

I bet he has A WHOLE LOT of stories to tell...

I hope he has a LOT to say. Finally, someone who wants to hear what a child in that environment has to say. The death of his little half sister may well have saved his life, if AD is the sort of nonparent we feel she is. If anything "good" has to come from that little angel's suffering at least it is this: Alot of people will be lurking and watching to make sure her 7 yr old half bro and her still in utero half sibling will be protected and safe.

Bless you little girl.

 

[SuziQ]

I need to make a point about some posts saying "what BL should have known" and others to that effect.
I have been a mother of 3 for almost 32 years and have always considered myself to be the best Mom my kids could ask for. Some even accused me of being overprotective, I didn't allow my oldest son to cross the street without me watching till he was almost 13 and never had other people besides our parents babysitting.
My two youngest grew up with some children of our neighbor's since they were in diapers and we cared for and loved each others children as if they were our own. Her kids even called me Mom #2 and vice versa.
When the kids got in their early teens my middle child went to spend the night with the family after we had moved to the next suburb over. While my child was there, the ex brother inlaw of the Mom kidnapped and molested my child, who was held for 2 days. 2 of the most horrific days of our lives. He was a repeat offender that had just gotten out of jail and was not even permitted to have contact with his own children.
When my child was located and the perp arrested, during trial, I first blamed myself for not knowing that this could have happened, not asking enough questions, and most certainly blamed the Mom for never telling be she had this kind of evil threat in her life. To some extent after all these years I still do. She blamed herself as well and to this day still can't look me in the eye because she knows had I known, I would have never let my children go there without me again.
Moral of my living nightmare from the past....sometimes we cant forsee evil when it lurks.

Omg, what a horrible thing for you and your family! But somethings can be foreseen. Like in this case. Apples and oranges.

 

[nurselady]

I am sorry that this happened to your child and it is clear that you had no idea that this would ever happen to your child.

With regards to Shaniya, I am still waiting to see how LE connects the "missing child" report to the "human trafficking" charges. I have yet to write anything about AD on that day because something is clearly missing here.

I,m with you Patty;Something is definably missing here where the mom is concerned!

 

[imamaze]

And I totally agree. My point is not with looking at him or questioning things about him.
My point is stating rumors as facts.

Thank you Kimberly, I agree...

No stating rumor as fact, no speculating about the family as if its fact. No blaming Shaniya's father or aunt based on rumor or speculation. Ask questions that's fine but I think we are all aware of the fact that we have not been told all the facts of this case and there are a lot of questions.

Make sure you are letting everyone reading here know that you are speculating only. Trashing the father based on rumors is not what we are all about. TIA!

 

[lbminnesota]

I hope Carey is working with a therapist to process all of this. When I heard Brad basically throw her under the bus again this morning, I felt so sad for Aunt Carey.

 

[JustJax]

I am very sorry to hear this happened. :hug: It sounds as tho this truly was unforseeable danger, a tragedy which prompts only empathy and not criticism. That isn't what we're looking at in this case tho. Based upon how you describe your own parenting skills and concern for your three children, I can almost guarantee had you known the reputation of this area, were you dealing w a person like AD, and given similar circumstances there's NO WAY (just from what you've shared about yourself) that you would have EVER allowed a child to go into this environment in the first place....much less stay in that #ellhole for that length of time!! Not the same!!!

arrot:

Nope, not the same at all. Point I am trying to make is I don't think anyone could fathom this horrific crime happening. BL said that there had been other visitations. How did they go? Carey said she did not like Shaniya to go there but I have heard neither one of them that said anything stood out to them to deny AD visitation. IIRC AD had recently moved in the trailer park so there may not have been opportunity to check out the place so until I hear more facts, I can't say what I would or wouldn't have done.
One thing I have practiced in the past is going into places my kids had play dates and checked it out, so as far as new places that did not belong to family members, yes I would want to see the enviornment.
For me, I have to hear more from everyone all of the history of what led up to this sickening crime.

 

[nurselady]

I bet he has A WHOLE LOT of stories to tell...

Lets pray that he does!!

 

[kiki the parrot]

I would also like to know what AD's mother means by, "I was there."

Maybe like GMS was "there" and saw Haleigh (outside in 50* weather in Feb sitting on the porch eating) Sorry OT, but these relatives who are always coming out of the woodwork confirming everything, gmab. AS (omg, their initials are even the same lol) wasn't there that night and didn't know anything, IMO she was trying to normalize and convince everyone how she "knew" daughter was a straight good-up mother.

arrot:

 

[JustJax]

I hope Carey is working with a therapist to process all of this. When I heard Brad basically throw her under the bus again this morning, I felt so sad for Aunt Carey.

Me too, everyone involved should be. My whole family did. My youngest was so frightened by what happened he used to sleep with me with his baseball bat next to us for a long time.
I did see an interview tho with Carey saying she lost her job a year ago and could not afford health care, so I hope she has found some kind of way to get help. We did find a free clinic that had therapy for us.

 

[Muffet]

-snip-

O/T: Why does my quote box periodically disappear? The Thanks does the same thing, but refresh brings that back, not Quote, it sometimes stays gone.

That happens to me after I post using the "Quick Reply" form at the bottom of the page... They come back when I refresh... could that be it?

 

[Linda7NJ]

Hmmmm :waitasec: then in this case I say that aunt Carie should have called them immediately after she got the call from AD, because daddy was out of town on business.
MOO

It was a custody issue. She didn't have parental rights and she had no information the child was in immediate danger.

 

[JustJax]

Omg, what a horrible thing for you and your family! But somethings can be foreseen. Like in this case. Apples and oranges.

Again....NOT the same, not comparing the two. Just trying to say there is another perspective. I'm going to reserve any opinions till I know all of the facts and all of the charges are layed out.

 

[Linda7NJ]

When you call 911 for your missing child, do you explain on the phone, "but I haven't checked the back yet"? Yeah....that would be the first thing I'd tell them too........NOT.

When my child was missing, I didn't check my entire neighborhood before calling for help.

 

[tlcya]

Maybe like GMS was "there" and saw Haleigh (outside in 50* weather in Feb sitting on the porch eating) Sorry OT, but these relatives who are always coming out of the woodwork confirming everything, gmab. AS (omg, their initials are even the same lol) wasn't there that night and didn't know anything, IMO she was trying to normalize and convince everyone how she "knew" daughter was a straight good-up mother.

arrot:

I think you are on the money. Momster's mother simply wanted to give the impression that AD was a good mom and that she (momster mom) had seen the living conditions and has seen her daughter be a good mommy. Without being too too judgmental about a woman I know nothing about, I don't know how much credence to give HER opinion of what a good mother is. We do not have anything but her daughter (AD) to illustrate what sort of mother SHE is. So her statements - mean nothing to me.

 

[sontay]

I hope Carey is working with a therapist to process all of this. When I heard Brad basically throw her under the bus again this morning, I felt so sad for Aunt Carey.

watching this morning interview and,aunt Carry didn't let him know she was concerned?MOO,thats a load of bull.CLD don't look like a passive woman,and the only thing i could fathom her not saying anything is she was scared Shaynia would be taken from her,which happened anyway.jmo.

 

[tlcya]

Again....NOT the same, not comparing the two. Just trying to say there is another perspective. I'm going to reserve any opinions till I know all of the facts and all of the charges are layed out.

cute moniker. You make me think of my daughter (nickname is Jax)

 

[kiki the parrot]

Nope, not the same at all. Point I am trying to make is I don't think anyone could fathom this horrific crime happening. BL said that there had been other visitations. How did they go? Carey said she did not like Shaniya to go there but I have heard neither one of them that said anything stood out to them to deny AD visitation. IIRC AD had recently moved in the trailer park so there may not have been opportunity to check out the place so until I hear more facts, I can't say what I would or wouldn't have done.
One thing I have practiced in the past is going into places my kids had play dates and checked it out, so as far as new places that did not belong to family members, yes I would want to see the enviornment.
For me, I have to hear more from everyone all of the history of what led up to this sickening crime.

I understand what you're saying JJ. And the point I am standing by is that I *do* think one could not only 'fathom' but just about predict that no good could possibly come from leaving Shaniya in this sort of environment. Frankly it's a miracle if she survived any preceding visits unharmed (which we don't know) IMO it's akin to saying, after you neglect to put a seatbelt on your child or your baby in an infant seat, "Well, they had done that before and nothing bad had happened..." If there was insufficient 'opportunity to check out the place' then you just can't leave a child there! Even from outside, and the area's reputation for high crime, I don't need any more facts. JMO

arrot:

 

[Linda7NJ]

You still have to formally withdraw kindergarteners. Once you have enrolled them, you can't just stop sending them without getting hit for truancy.

Even in the Haleigh case, remember Ron Cummings was getting letters and said he was threatened with jail, because she had missed so many days of kindergarten.

I pulled my son out of public school kindergarten. I basically walked in and took him out of class. I didn't do it formerly. No one ever contacted me. No one asked me what was going on.