NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 6

[Sweetnspicy]

I can relate to your situation. 5 years ago when I had my daughter I became very sick. I felt helpless, I dodged a heart transplant so I know the feeling of depression and not being able to ever go back and do any of the things I loved so much. I thank GOD for my husband who took on the burden of taking care of our 2 kids. I am better now but still my life is very limited. I just can't understand if RM was on drugs which we have no facts it's just our opinions why why not just get help. The man has a family who loves him, his mom especially, moms love their boys lol will do anything for them!!!
This is so sad.....

It would be sad... I am sorry to hear you have gone thru the same sort of circumstance, unfortunately, we are not alone and this is pretty common. Not everyone handles things the same way. You and I were able to come to "acceptance" of the situation, make adjustments and move on. Not everyone is equipped the same emotionally. Some take things harder, being "a man" could put more pressure. Maybe he kept these feelings from IM and so she was unaware of how bad it was and kept things "business as usual"? This would have feed into his feelings of being unable to keep up. We cant relate because our experience was emotionally different. You had support...but how would you have felt if you hadnt gotten that support? Addict's brains are wired differently according to my brother. They dont process things the same as non addicts...whether or not they are current in their addiction or "in recovery". Something like what we went thru is life altering and life altering things can become "triggers" to relapse. JMOO unless we have been an addict ourselves, how can we really ever understand the "why"? All we can do is treat the "what is".

 

[Momoffourboys]

IM mentions that RM looked worried and scared in the video from the inside of Scrap Arrow. In another interview she mentions that he wouldn't leave his family.
Has IM ever made a plea to the perp to let her husband go, if she believes there was a perp?
Even if she did not know if there was a perp, has she made a public plea to let him go incase he was taken?
IMOO.

No. She has made pleas to RM..."we will keep you safe", "you are important". But not to third party...

Good point. IMO
lease:

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

Truth is we really know nothing except the wallet, phone and money were found and are not with RM wherever he is.

Yes that is true. But....who can prove RM didn't call DMV and already have ID duplicated. I hope that IM called all the places and asked.
Wherever he is I hope he is ok

 

[Treelights]

That "place" is just not right
"well composed" very odd words IMO
And now IM finally views a tape of RM being there that day I assume it was a tape of that day but who really knows for sure??? IM says he looks scared??
Something keeps making me think RM returned there after he went home and in those 9 minutes he was greeted by either someone familiar, explaining no signs of a struggle, or 'bad guys'

It could be just how the gentleman talks, but, in my thought process, well composed means to me that someone has composed themselves because of something happening in their life....like say at a funeral, a person that is said to be well composed because they are not crying uncontrollably, or kept their composure under such a sad and difficult time, like in control of emotions, or
even a calm personality.
IMOO.

 

[Treelights]

No. She has made pleas to RM..."we will keep you safe", "you are important". But not to third party...

Good point. IMO
lease:

If RM is a "well-composed" man, does that mean he keeps his emotions in check to the outside world, but in reality IM knows his personality, and maybe she thinks he did want to leave to commit suicide?
Or is IM in denial, thinking well, he wouldn't leave her, so therefore he must have left to commit suicide? OR she wants the public to think that, especially since there has been no pleas to a perp?
All just thoughts and my opinion........

 

[cluciano63]

My sister-in-law has a husband close to RM's age and in similar type work, they have two young kids and live not far from LI. He recently "flipped out" reasons unknown at least to us, i.e drugs, alcohol,emotional, etc.

Oddly, he was put on a plane by his employer and sent to Florida and apparently met by some officials and taken in handcuffs to some sort of facility. Not sure what is going on or what brought it to this point. But it did make me think of RM as anyone can just "lose it" apparently. Life is so stressful these days.

Anyway...

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

It could be just how the gentleman talks, but, in my thought process, well composed means to me that someone has composed themselves because of something happening in their life....like say at a funeral, a person that is said to be well composed because they are not crying uncontrollably, or kept their composure under such a sad and difficult time, like in control of emotions, or
even a calm personality.
IMOO.

So on that day RM didn't crack a joke or walk in and shoot the breeze. He may not have been very happy to be there?? Possibly??? I would assume guys would walk in that place and say hey, how ya doing? I would think it would be loud in there, guys talking, Father's Day weekend, the weekend in general, happy it's Friday, etc. I don't know, I was never in there but I would think it's not like waiting in line at the bank. IM saying he looked scared leads me to believe he's a funny outgoing guy. He is described as the life of the party.
Just my opinion. Maybe a girl can say what goes on in there. I have no idea.

 

[CatFancier]

I have been in the process of going back over threads and working on a timeline, but need to get a budget report knocked out first (dang work!). Apparently, I have downloaded the last FAQ (8-28-13). You know how you could "download" or "preview", I had mostly just previewed because it was open for all to see. I guess I hit "download" instead of "preview" at some point.

Therefore, I have a copy. I would be happy to copy and post in here if that is okay with mods, since it really isn't "official" and it came from where it came from.

We cannot copy and paste. You can put it in your own words.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

My sister-in-law has a husband close to RM's age and in similar type work, they have two young kids and live not far from LI. He recently "flipped out" reasons unknown at least to us, i.e drugs, alcohol,emotional, etc.

Oddly, he was put on a plane by his employer and sent to Florida and apparently met by some officials and taken in handcuffs to some sort of facility. Not sure what is going on or what brought it to this point. But it did make me think of RM as anyone can just "lose it" apparently. Life is so stressful these days.

Anyway...

Omg....sorry to hear about that. I agree life is very stressful these days and unfortunately getting worse now. One never really knows what's going on in a persons mind. At least she knows where he is but I can't imagine how scared she must be for him and her kids.

 

[McSpy]

Are we sure not typical drug story?? I am not.

On the surface, no. However, when I first saw this case I thought he could have been addicted to prescription pain drugs. It is not an uncommon problem today.

JMO

 

[McSpy]

Wearing a wedding band is definitely dangerous for a man who works with his hands. I've heard horror stories of them getting caught in machinery.

Interesting that you say that because RM did lose part of a finger. It is stated on his missing poster. Makes me wonder if it happened on the job years ago.

 

[JustyThoughts]

For me, some missing pieces that would be helpful include:

How had RM been at work Monday - Thursday that week, as described by a close co-worker? (Behaviors, periods of absence, lunch conversations, discussion on work plans)
On Friday, was he acting "different"? Did he delegate a current role of his to a co-worker for the future/the next week?

When was his last conversation with mom, brother, sister, kids & close neighbors; and what was the demeanor and subject of that contact?

Has he discussed the upcoming Italy trip with persons mentioned above? And "how" was he talking about it?

I think answers could reveal some indicators; but could only trust from hearing them tell it directly.

 

[cluciano63]

I am guessing LE would have spoken to friends, co-workers and family? If so, and they concluded that no foul play seems to have taken place, perhaps they were given info that they or IM chooses not to release. JMO

 

[McSpy]

Way back I remember "he never had his wallet with him that day". Is that still on the FAQ page? How could "someone" make that claim if the wallet was "supposedly" discovered at 4pm after Rob was only about an hour late?

Hmmm, interesting. Supposedly, IM arrived at home 10 minutes after his car left the driveway. So, supposedly she didn't know he went home at all. Maybe she looked for his wallet to see if he stopped at home?? Hmmm, do people look to see if wallet and purses are in the home that soon when a spouse is a little late?

 

[McSpy]

I am guessing LE would have spoken to friends, co-workers and family? If so, and they concluded that no foul play seems to have taken place, perhaps they were given info that they or IM chooses not to release. JMO

Makes sense, but they should tell his mom. Supposedly, she was a wreck when he didn't acknowledge her birthday.

 

[JustyThoughts]

I wonder if the silence (lack of documented statements) is in any way telling? Was there something (a family secret) that was/is known -but for reasons of privacy has not been openly discussed - at least not in any public domain.?

So many of the known details just keep tangling up like noodles. Though we have a wide span of suggested theories (from mob to ambush to someone else) it just seems to be more of a planned decision (maybe or maybe with assistance). I could very well be wrong. Soooooo, :fence:

 

[McSpy]

For me, some missing pieces that would be helpful include:

How had RM been at work Monday - Thursday that week, as described by a close co-worker? (Behaviors, periods of absence, lunch conversations, discussion on work plans)
On Friday, was he acting "different"? Did he delegate a current role of his to a co-worker for the future/the next week?

When was his last conversation with mom, brother, sister, kids & close neighbors; and what was the demeanor and subject of that contact?

Has he discussed the upcoming Italy trip with persons mentioned above? And "how" was he talking about it?

I think answers could reveal some indicators; but could only trust from hearing them tell it directly.

These are excellent questions. I also wonder if he reserved vacation time for that trip to Italy.

 

[OldSteve]

Hmmm, interesting. Supposedly, IM arrived at home 10 minutes after his car left the driveway. So, supposedly she didn't know he went home at all. Maybe she looked for his wallet to see if he stopped at home?? Hmmm, do people look to see if wallet and purses are in the home that soon when a spouse is a little late?

You know in some 33 years of marriage I never looked for wife's purse if she were late, thought just doesn't occur to me.

 

[cluciano63]

Makes sense, but they should tell his mom. Supposedly, she was a wreck when he didn't acknowledge her birthday.

I meant that maybe LE formed an impression of why he may have left, but not actual evidence of such. As in someone telling LE about some personal issue or depression etc.

If LE really does not believe a crime occurred, though, it is hard to know if they have a reason, or just the "no evidence of a crime" which kind of equals "no evidence a person is dead" kind of thing that LE just says sometimes. JMO

 

[VeryCleverGirl]

They probably get a lot of rough customers at the scrap business, so RM seemed like a good mannered, clean cut guy in comparison.

Just a possibility

Myself I am soooo glad Arrow guy uttered the words 'well composed' because if he hadn't we wouldn't know hardly any truth in this case at all. Think about it. We have NEVER SEEN physical evidence of his drivers license, wallet, or the supposed 300 dollars. We don't know if the club was under the seat unless someone remembers LE making a statement about it.

I don't think he was scared and or worried.

they had a control and a variable....let me explain

he had been to this scrap yard more than a few times...they knew him described him as a nice well composed guy... okay that's your control group...that's what they know of him that's their experience of him

Your variable group is the day he went missing where IM says he looked "scared and worried" but what does the Arrow guy say when he is interviewed???
"well composed"
so if what they know of him is self control on a day that they are asked they would have noticed a distinct change in demeanor they say he was his normal self
we don't know his fav sports team, his fav foods, his fav place to visit....
almost nothing except physical characteristics ...what if he was in a hurry to come home change grab a bag he had prepared, leave anything he wasn't taking with him...and jumped on a cruise boat....my friend goes on cruises and she always picks the 4pm boarding time ...you can change your appearance a lot with hair color...beards...different clothing jmo