NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 6

[Momoffourboys]

That does make sense but why waste LE time?
Then again they haven't done another search I don't think??
The other searches were organized by IM or one of the administrators maybe.

That was strange to me that IM wasn't surrounded by family and friends. If RM is such a well liked man and BBQing is his thing where are all those people??? Why isn't this woman getting support from.....anyone????
I would be on the floor passing out and popping Valium doing that interview.
Something is not right here

Maybe thats why she was alone. Maybe they know something that is making
Them keep their distance.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

Any form of drug/alcohol addiction or abuse is considered a disease. Therefor, HIPAA laws come into play. No program or treatment center will confirm or deny or release any information regarding a patient. Ever.

Not to family, friends or employer.

:scared:

I can vouch for that. My mother called my gynecologist when I was pregnant to ask how I was and if everything went well. They wouldn't even tell her that I was there that day. She was upset but I was grateful knowing my info was kept private. It could be anyone on the other end of a phone.

What if IM walks into a facility/hospital and shows her ID and of course explains what the circumstances are, can she get information by identifying herself? Especially it's her husband "missing"

 

[MissJ]

Thank you, I'm sorry you had to go through that also. I agree we all handle these situations so differently. Especially RM being the main bread winner now, I'm not sure what IM does, I do know what happened in her past so obviously there is a huge cut in money being brought home there. It is understandable that RM would feel helpless and unable to keep up with the things they enjoyed for years with 2 salaries. We aren't gonna get answers unfortunately to certain questions. Was he seeing a Dr for depression, anxiety etc? I thought I read he wasn't taking any medication. That is kind of private to tell everyone, unless it was a life threatening med like insulin for ex. then it's ok to tell us.
I don't know if I would have survived without support. I only had my husband though. My whole family didn't even offer to help us. It was awful. I focused on my kids and I focused on not dying for them. It was 3 years of hell and a lifetime of taking medication.
An addict is different, they aren't themselves I know. It's unfortunate that people don't understand addiction. It's a sickness/disease. If that's the case though with RM that would explain IM saying what she said about keeping him safe. I think she should make a plea on TV and say if you are out there to please come home or please go talk to your mom.

I still can't rule out that scrap yard.

Well said.:twocents:

 

[Momoffourboys]

I can vouch for that. My mother called my gynecologist when I was pregnant to ask how I was and if everything went well. They wouldn't even tell her that I was there that day. She was upset but I was grateful knowing my info was kept private. It could be anyone on the other end of a phone.

What if IM walks into a facility/hospital and shows her ID and of course explains what the circumstances are, can she get information by identifying herself? Especially it's her husband "missing"

They are very strict with HIPAA laws. I dont think they will release info.
If he has amnesia and has no recollection of his family/life...i think changes the circumstances. But if he is in hospital or program of his own doing, i dont believe they release any info.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

Maybe thats why she was alone. Maybe they know something that is making
Them keep their distance.

Well lets hope they know Robert Mayer is alive and ok.
Especially his mother!!! His mother should not have to go through this pain.
Remember a mother will protect her son from anything. I know I would!!

 

[Momoffourboys]

http://www.hhs.gov/hipaafaq/index.html
This lists HIPAA specifics. Quite interesting.

 

[MissJ]

I've dealt with depression for most of my life. Its an uphill fight most of the time. I've often had the weight of the world on my shoulders and one major issue was somehow I always ended up being the chief wage earner in the family. There were many weeks when I had to work seven sixteen hour shifts to keep up with it all. Many days I wanted to run...run...run..anywhere but just away. A couple of times I actually did..but someone always knew. I'm hoping that is all thats going on with RM and that this isn't a murder.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

They are very strict with HIPAA laws. I dont think they will release info.
If he has amnesia and has no recollection of his family/life...i think changes the circumstances. But if he is in hospital or program of his own doing, i dont believe they release any info.

I'm always signing those papers every visit recently. It's annoying lol
I agree amnesia would be different.
It's good to know that there are still a few things in this world that can be kept private. You run a yellow light here they take a photo and mail you a nice fat ticket. The eye in the sky sees everything. Why can't it find missing persons?

That brings me to the insurance now. There were many times that I just couldn't talk to my insurance company, so I would give my initial info and give them permission to please speak to my husband, they always spoke to him with my permission. I know it's not the right thing to do but I will admit this, if it was me and my husband disappeared I would have my neighbor, brother, man at the bus top saying he is my husband and he gives permission to the ins. Co to talk to me. I obviously have his SS # and ID # because I have his wallet!!!!

 

[Simply Caustic]

Several years ago, a young lady I know went to Hazelden in Minnesota for rehab (pain pills). Although I knew where she was, half of her family didn't, boyfriend didn't, and direct supervisor at work didn't.

When her sister told our employer the reason for her no-call, no-show...she was (by the grace of God and a nice boss!) not terminated. They (our kind office manager and co-worker) attempted to call and verify her location..just worried about her...and Hazelden wouldn't say ONE WORD in regards to whether or not she was there. Letters not mailed with her Unit (her precise unit name - if it matters, the name is Dia Linn, they have several - point being, you can't just write Unit One and get the letter in) wouldn't be delivered.

The point? She was in such a state prior to flying to MN from Chicago that she didn't even tell her job. I asked her about this later - she's healthy, happy, and a great Mom, nowadays - and she said that she couldn't worry about saving her job...that her life was in the balance.

FWIW.

It should be noted that I suspect he took off. But prescription pain pill abuse is on the rise, and it can and does affect anyone - regardless of income bracket.

MOOOOOO says the cow. OINK says the pig. Go to bed, Simply, says the stupid jokes...

The name wasn't the individual's name. It was the name of the unit at Hazelden.

Kinda like the Blue Wing at the local hospital. It's just an Irish blessing - the name.

Just explaining for the 'snip.'

 

[Momoffourboys]

I'm always signing those papers every visit recently. It's annoying lol
I agree amnesia would be different.
It's good to know that there are still a few things in this world that can be kept private. You run a yellow light here they take a photo and mail you a nice fat ticket. The eye in the sky sees everything. Why can't it find missing persons?

That brings me to the insurance now. There were many times that I just couldn't talk to my insurance company, so I would give my initial info and give them permission to please speak to my husband, they always spoke to him with my permission. I know it's not the right thing to do but I will admit this, if it was me and my husband disappeared I would have my neighbor, brother, man at the bus top saying he is my husband and he gives permission to the ins. Co to talk to me. I obviously have his SS # and ID # because I have his wallet!!!!

According to HIPAA, your husband would have had to have filled out (many) forms giving you permission (living will, so to say) to be his proxy in the event that he was unable to make health decisions for himself.

Thats why i think that if RM checked himself in for any treatment, he is covered by HIPAA.

 

[Simply Caustic]

They are very strict with HIPAA laws. I dont think they will release info.
If he has amnesia and has no recollection of his family/life...i think changes the circumstances. But if he is in hospital or program of his own doing, i dont believe they release any info.

Thanks for this post, Momoffourboys.

Jogged my memory to a missing persons case in Chicago. She went missing and LE was able to confirm she was voluntarily missing...by being @ a treatment facility (in-patient).

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2011/08/15/woman-missing-from-northwest-side-for-over-a-week/

Goodness, as awful as it would be for RM to have a struggle with addiction - how wonderful would it be to have him come home safe? I surely hope so.

 

[Momoffourboys]

Thanks for this post, Momoffourboys.

Jogged my memory to a missing persons case in Chicago. She went missing and LE was able to confirm she was voluntarily missing...by being @ a treatment facility (in-patient).

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2011/08/15/woman-missing-from-northwest-side-for-over-a-week/

Goodness, as awful as it would be for RM to have a struggle with addiction - how wonderful would it be to have him come home safe? I surely hope so.

Thanks for the article.
Im curious as to why they would publicly release the info.
I know HIPAA is federal law but each state adds specifics.

 

[Periwinkl3]

I'm so sorry to read about people's experiences with anxiety and depression. We have a lot of it in my family, too. RM certainly would have had reason to be depressed and anxious.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. I don't recall hearing anyone say the words "I/we love you, RM," either in print or to TV reporters. I have read/heard phrases such as "he loved his family" or even "he loved his car," as well as a claim that RM said "I love you" during their phone call of June 14. I'm just wondering about that. If these spouses had had an argument, wouldn't that feeling be expressed over and over in this stressful situation, as a way of apologizing for having fought? We're seeing and hearing one person effectively doing all the talking for RM's mother, sister, other birth family members and children. It seems unnatural to not say those basic words repeatedly. The person not saying them has been trained, and personally needed, to use extreme caution with choice of words. Why so careful to avoid saying "I love you?"

 

[OhSueZanna]

What ever happened to NCNY??
It seemed like he was a confirmed family member or friend.
Maybe I missed a recent post? Can I go back and just go over what NCNY posted here or do I need to just scroll through every page?

And why don't I have those cute moving icons? I'm new on here, a virgin : )

I agree MomWhoLovesDragons....<modsnip> I have some real issues with this whole story.....This wonderful well liked man is missing for over 2 months and yet the ONLY one we are hearing from to find him is his wife.... we have not heard from ANY other family member... NONE - after it was revealed that the neighbors camera caught the car at home for 10 mins that day...then the story changed...and the phone WAS actually found, a video was actually seen by the wife of him at Arrow.... I'm very skeptical of this story....will there ever be answers or will this go cold and be forgotten about................. :banghead:

 

[windstorm]

Hmmm, pill addiction is very possible. With a physical type job (especially after years in that field) plus age, it's actually probable that RM has been seen by a physician or two for some job related injuries/aches/pains. We all know docs pass out pain killers like candy these days.

Pills or drugs or both.....

Maybe he ran home to get some pills/drugs that he was selling. Met with buyer and things went bad???

Still doesn't explain leaving the phone, cash and ID at home....in drawers....in the garage. That's where I keep all my important stuff :banghead:

 

[Philigumbo]

. MomWhoLovesDragons:

What if IM walks into a facility/hospital and shows her ID and of course explains what the circumstances are, can she get information by identifying herself? Especially it's her husband "missing"

Nope. If he is of sound mind,no. If he was a John Doe (no wallet), not until police become weary enough and ask the public for help. In instances I've seen, twice...the patient advocate ALONG WITH LEGAL...will try to get the patient of sound mind to let LE know they are safe, but no location. And if you choose to be "No Info" you are not even acknowledged to be a patient. "I'm sorry, we do not have a patient by that name." Even to next of kin, if that's what the patient chooses. :doorhide:

 

[Philigumbo]

I say John Doe meaning he is unable to identify himself.

 

[Simply Caustic]

Thanks for the article.
Im curious as to why they would publicly release the info.
I know HIPAA is federal law but each state adds specifics.

She (the missing woman) did an interview, acknowledging it (treatment). I betcha there would have been a tiny blurb saying 'found safe' or what-have-you, had she NOT chosen to confirm it.

 

[hot cawfeee]

I can see leaving a wife...but why not just take steps a few days later, get a lawyer, something? Why just "vanish" and allow your kids lives to be ruined?

Cluciano---maybe IM and RM had been discussing before June 14--and things went to "a level" and he left (either on-time, or earlier than discussed).
Summer seems a logical time for a seperation--kids out of school, no pressure of school work and from peers.

 

[hot cawfeee]

Do you think he told her that he was leaving? If so, why leave the wallet behind?

I think it was a matter that had been discussed----the wallet--may have been old, may have been a gift from her, water-proof material for summer over leather (Mr C does that), one wallet may fit more or less things in it,
another wallet may hold a pic of the kids