NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 6

[VeryCleverGirl]

For me, some missing pieces that would be helpful include:

How had RM been at work Monday - Thursday that week, as described by a close co-worker? (Behaviors, periods of absence, lunch conversations, discussion on work plans)
On Friday, was he acting "different"? Did he delegate a current role of his to a co-worker for the future/the next week?

When was his last conversation with mom, brother, sister, kids & close neighbors; and what was the demeanor and subject of that contact?

Has he discussed the upcoming Italy trip with persons mentioned above? And "how" was he talking about it?

I think answers could reveal some indicators; but could only trust from hearing them tell it directly.

Exactly!!! Why are we NOT hearing from anybody else???Why are reporters not zeroing in on co-workers, friends etc....why is LE have no pressers??? When Lacey Peterson went missing we heard from everybody...friends family you name it

 

[Ravynne]

I'm probably gonna get hammered for this but I'm putting it out there. It's way out in left field... Warning track maybe.... But it's a curious find nonetheless.

Ok, so I wanted to stop running around the same rosebushand and I was looking for articles on RM and came across this man, a 50 year old hospital exec. who went missing from his hotel room in montauk. Now, I have no clue if its even related to this case but, when wives and girlfriends go missing, one thing i imagine alot of folks do is look for other similar cases in the area. GR went missing Aug. 2012, the only thing that disappeared with him is a body board. He has a wife and boys. Please see the articles for more...

There is a thread here for him but its not very large.

GR from Dix Hills, NY

http://easthampton.patch.com/groups...ter-missing-vacationer-case-remains-a-mystery

http://huntington.patch.com/groups/police-and-fire/p/year-later-no-answers-in-missing-persons-case

 

[VeryCleverGirl]

I'm probably gonna get hammered for this but I'm putting it out there. It's way out in left field... Warning track maybe.... But it's a curious find nonetheless.

Ok, so I wanted to stop running around the same rosebushand and I was looking for articles on RM and came across this man, a 50 year old hospital exec. who went missing from his hotel room in montauk. Now, I have no clue if its even related to this case but, when wives and girlfriends go missing, one thing i imagine alot of folks do is look for other similar cases in the area. GR went missing Aug. 2012, the only thing that disappeared with him is a body board. He has a wife and boys. Please see the articles for more...

There is a thread here for him but its not very large.

GR from Dix Hills, NY

http://easthampton.patch.com/groups...ter-missing-vacationer-case-remains-a-mystery

http://huntington.patch.com/groups/police-and-fire/p/year-later-no-answers-in-missing-persons-case

I read somewhere they found him and it was suicide.???


oops maybe not...another guy 50 years old is missing from Newton ....lot of 40-50 yr old men missing weird

 

[Ravynne]

I'm still on the fence with RM, I was just throwing something out there.

Here's GR's ws link

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=183221&highlight=George+richardson

 

[OldSteve]

Wearing a wedding band is definitely dangerous for a man who works with his hands. I've heard horror stories of them getting caught in machinery.

Working around electricity with metal rings is very dangerous - was always taught to remove wedding band. If it the ring shorts out it can melt on your finger :tantrum:

 

[Jerry516]

"Someone" didn't KNOW he left it until she "found" it at 4pm, but it was written to sound like she knew it was there at home all day. I'm wondering if he left without his wallet in the morning because he couldn't FIND it - taken by someone to "make him stay" or thinking he wouldn't drive away without a drivers license....and when he left anyway, the wallet is used as a "clue" that he is missing. ullhair:

Moo and all that....

So they have some sort of argument, either the night before or that morning on the phone. He can't find his wallet that morning and goes to work because he needs to get there.
maybe he came home for that reason? To try and find the wallet it because he needed his ID or something? And was in a rush because he really didn't want to confront IM and fight more? So he speeds out 10min later after being aggravated that he still can't find it? Only never to be seen again...

 

[Jerry516]

That "place" is just not right
"well composed" very odd words IMO
And now IM finally views a tape of RM being there that day I assume it was a tape of that day but who really knows for sure??? IM says he looks scared??
Something keeps making me think RM returned there after he went home and in those 9 minutes he was greeted by either someone familiar, explaining no signs of a struggle, or 'bad guys'

I have considered he returned there also------he has an argument :argue: at the scrap yard over the value of something. Things get heated. He snaps. He storms off, speeds home, grabs his gun, speeds back there with his gun....and what happens next no one knows. Except for the fact that he never makes it out of there (under this scenario). They have his ID in file, the know where he lives, they drive his car to the nearest train station to his house to make it appear he disappeared voluntarily.

Far fetched, I know.

 

[VeryCleverGirl]

I have considered he returned there also------he has an argument :argue: at the scrap yard over the value of something. Things get heated. He snaps. He storms off, speeds home, grabs his gun, speeds back there with his gun....and what happens next no one knows. Except for the fact that he never makes it out of there (under this scenario). They have his ID in file, the know where he lives, they drive his car to the nearest train station to his house to make it appear he disappeared voluntarily.

Far fetched, I know.

well if he went to get his gun and rush back he would not have stopped to put his company phone in the drawer

 

[VeryCleverGirl]

I really don't think the Arrow is a factor in his disappearance.....if it was we wouldn't be seeing so much dare I say mis-information or convoluted information coming from one source

 

[LivingJuicy]

My sister-in-law has a husband close to RM's age and in similar type work, they have two young kids and live not far from LI. He recently "flipped out" reasons unknown at least to us, i.e drugs, alcohol,emotional, etc.

Oddly, he was put on a plane by his employer and sent to Florida and apparently met by some officials and taken in handcuffs to some sort of facility. Not sure what is going on or what brought it to this point. But it did make me think of RM as anyone can just "lose it" apparently. Life is so stressful these days.

Anyway...

This is very real and true. Life is so hard. I had a fear of this happening to me for years for no real reason other than my anxiety. I still think RM met with foul play, harmed himself, or has a drug problem. Although the past few days you awesome sleuthers have me almost adding him leave on his own to the list.


Ok poll time - anyone else think he didn't leave? I know we are all grabbing for something and just want him ok. Also I don't mean to trivialize it with a poll, just grasping again. ...

 

[Ravynne]

I have considered he returned there also------he has an argument :argue: at the scrap yard over the value of something. Things get heated. He snaps. He storms off, speeds home, grabs his gun, speeds back there with his gun....and what happens next no one knows. Except for the fact that he never makes it out of there (under this scenario). They have his ID in file, the know where he lives, they drive his car to the nearest train station to his house to make it appear he disappeared voluntarily.

Far fetched, I know.

I had a theory fairly close to this... Lol. I guess this happens with little facts. Wild speculation I mean. But hey it's a theory. A lot more plausible than mine.

:seeya:moo & all that good stuff...

 

[Ravynne]

Although I'm still up on the fence, I lean to foul play, suicide, hospital somewhere.

Moo and all that good stuff!

 

[Philigumbo]

So they have some sort of argument, either the night before or that morning on the phone. He can't find his wallet that morning and goes to work because he needs to get there.
maybe he came home for that reason? To try and find the wallet it because he needed his ID or something? And was in a rush because he really didn't want to confront IM and fight more? So he speeds out 10min later after being aggravated that he still can't find it? Only never to be seen again...

He said he was leaving, maybe slept on couch. Wallet was hidden to maybe prevent him from going (to work or separation). He comes back in those ten minutes to search for it. Is later reportedly found in garage drawer with the money and phone. I think that's why someone was freaking out by 4pm. Knew he really left. :scared:

 

[Jerry516]

He said he was leaving, maybe slept on couch. Wallet was hidden to maybe prevent him from going (to work or separation). He comes back in those ten minutes to search for it. Is later reportedly found in garage drawer with the money and phone. I think that's why someone was freaking out by 4pm. Knew he really left. :scared:

When I was quoting you, I forgot to mention I was going with your theory the wallet was hidden by someone so he couldn't find it. Maybe he was so aggravated when he returned home....and realized she must have hidden it, he took everything else he had on him....money, phone, loose change (NCNY mentioned that), etc....and said to himself (directed at her)......."here take it all, you have the wallet, take everything else, you ain't keeping me here". Leaves it in the drawer and goes poof into thin air.

And maybe she's " in denial" about it, not the daughter.

 

[Philigumbo]

When I was quoting you, I forgot to mention I was going with your theory the wallet was hidden by someone so he couldn't find it. Maybe he was so aggravated when he returned home....and realized she must have hidden it, he took everything else he had on him....money, phone, loose change (NCNY mentioned that), etc....and said to himself (directed at her)......."here take it all, you have the wallet, take everything else, you ain't keeping me here". Leaves it in the drawer and goes poof into thin air.

And maybe she's " in denial" about it, not the daughter.

I think it was a ploy to keep him from leaving but he did anyway. I've always felt like this was a wild goose chase, making someone appear very worried FAST, but really "I'll make you look like a sorry #%¥#% if you leave me." And I think others knew. Thus friends and family so quiet. Public and JUDGE on her side because when he comes back, he's looking like a deadbeat husband and father. House is in his name only. I think this has all been a setup to protect a certain persons interest in assets.

MOO and all that...

 

[Simply Caustic]

Several years ago, a young lady I know went to Hazelden in Minnesota for rehab (pain pills). Although I knew where she was, half of her family didn't, boyfriend didn't, and direct supervisor at work didn't.

When her sister told our employer the reason for her no-call, no-show...she was (by the grace of God and a nice boss!) not terminated. They (our kind office manager and co-worker) attempted to call and verify her location..just worried about her...and Hazelden wouldn't say ONE WORD in regards to whether or not she was there. Letters not mailed with her Unit (her precise unit name - if it matters, the name is Dia Linn, they have several - point being, you can't just write Unit One and get the letter in) wouldn't be delivered.

The point? She was in such a state prior to flying to MN from Chicago that she didn't even tell her job. I asked her about this later - she's healthy, happy, and a great Mom, nowadays - and she said that she couldn't worry about saving her job...that her life was in the balance.

FWIW.

It should be noted that I suspect he took off. But prescription pain pill abuse is on the rise, and it can and does affect anyone - regardless of income bracket.

MOOOOOO says the cow. OINK says the pig. Go to bed, Simply, says the stupid jokes...

 

[Momoffourboys]

Several years ago, a young lady I know went to Hazelden in Minnesota for rehab (pain pills). Although I knew where she was, half of her family didn't, boyfriend didn't, and direct supervisor at work didn't.

When her sister told our employer the reason for her no-call, no-show...she was (by the grace of God and a nice boss!) not terminated. They (our kind office manager and co-worker) attempted to call and verify her location..just worried about her...and Hazelden wouldn't say ONE WORD in regards to whether or not she was there. Letters not mailed with her Unit (her precise unit name - if it matters, the name is <modsnip>, they have several - point being, you can't just write Unit One and get the letter in) wouldn't be delivered.

The point? She was in such a state prior to flying to MN from Chicago that she didn't even tell her job. I asked her about this later - she's healthy, happy, and a great Mom, nowadays - and she said that she couldn't worry about saving her job...that her life was in the balance.

FWIW.

It should be noted that I suspect he took off. But prescription pain pill abuse is on the rise, and it can and does affect anyone - regardless of income bracket.

MOOOOOO says the cow. OINK says the pig. Go to bed, Simply, says the stupid jokes...

Any form of drug/alcohol addiction or abuse is considered a disease. Therefor, HIPAA laws come into play. No program or treatment center will confirm or deny or release any information regarding a patient. Ever.

Not to family, friends or employer.

:scared:

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

It would be sad... I am sorry to hear you have gone thru the same sort of circumstance, unfortunately, we are not alone and this is pretty common. Not everyone handles things the same way. You and I were able to come to "acceptance" of the situation, make adjustments and move on. Not everyone is equipped the same emotionally. Some take things harder, being "a man" could put more pressure. Maybe he kept these feelings from IM and so she was unaware of how bad it was and kept things "business as usual"? This would have feed into his feelings of being unable to keep up. We cant relate because our experience was emotionally different. You had support...but how would you have felt if you hadnt gotten that support? Addict's brains are wired differently according to my brother. They dont process things the same as non addicts...whether or not they are current in their addiction or "in recovery". Something like what we went thru is life altering and life altering things can become "triggers" to relapse. JMOO unless we have been an addict ourselves, how can we really ever understand the "why"? All we can do is treat the "what is".

Thank you, I'm sorry you had to go through that also. I agree we all handle these situations so differently. Especially RM being the main bread winner now, I'm not sure what IM does, I do know what happened in her past so obviously there is a huge cut in money being brought home there. It is understandable that RM would feel helpless and unable to keep up with the things they enjoyed for years with 2 salaries. We aren't gonna get answers unfortunately to certain questions. Was he seeing a Dr for depression, anxiety etc? I thought I read he wasn't taking any medication. That is kind of private to tell everyone, unless it was a life threatening med like insulin for ex. then it's ok to tell us.
I don't know if I would have survived without support. I only had my husband though. My whole family didn't even offer to help us. It was awful. I focused on my kids and I focused on not dying for them. It was 3 years of hell and a lifetime of taking medication.
An addict is different, they aren't themselves I know. It's unfortunate that people don't understand addiction. It's a sickness/disease. If that's the case though with RM that would explain IM saying what she said about keeping him safe. I think she should make a plea on TV and say if you are out there to please come home or please go talk to your mom.

I still can't rule out that scrap yard.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

I think it was a ploy to keep him from leaving but he did anyway. I've always felt like this was a wild goose chase, making someone appear very worried FAST, but really "I'll make you look like a sorry #%¥#% if you leave me." And I think others knew. Thus friends and family so quiet. Public and JUDGE on her side because when he comes back, he's looking like a deadbeat husband and father. House is in his name only. I think this has all been a setup to protect a certain persons interest in assets.

MOO and all that...

That does make sense but why waste LE time?
Then again they haven't done another search I don't think??
The other searches were organized by IM or one of the administrators maybe.

That was strange to me that IM wasn't surrounded by family and friends. If RM is such a well liked man and BBQing is his thing where are all those people??? Why isn't this woman getting support from.....anyone????
I would be on the floor passing out and popping Valium doing that interview.
Something is not right here

 

[Momoffourboys]

I have considered he returned there also------he has an argument :argue: at the scrap yard over the value of something. Things get heated. He snaps. He storms off, speeds home, grabs his gun, speeds back there with his gun....and what happens next no one knows. Except for the fact that he never makes it out of there (under this scenario). They have his ID in file, the know where he lives, they drive his car to the nearest train station to his house to make it appear he disappeared voluntarily.

Far fetched, I know.

THE CANOLLIS, jerry!
You forgot the canollis!
:tantrum::tantrum::tantrum: