NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 6

[Treelights]

Good Morning Everyone
I wish there would be a few more bread crumbs thrown out for this ole bird, so I could come up with some new theories or strategies.
If we all clammed up, then a morsel will be thrown out to try to satisfy, or pacify the hunger. Sad really.
IMOO.

 

[ElizaAvalon]

I don't think the phone was in it's "usual" place. If it were, well before a week had passed, I'm almost positive IM would have checked for it. If the garage were his "man cave" I would think she would have been tearing that place apart within 24 hours to see if she could find any clues.

Well, I cannot really take what I would do and apply it to this case because IM hasn't really done anything that I would do.

I agree with you and once I had found the wallet I probably would have torn the rest of that area apart.

But remember, she thought he left the wallet in the morning and perhaps the usual place for all of his personal effects was where the wallet was found. Maybe he did forget the wallet in the morning and put the phone and money in a completely different spot when he got home from work.

Not enough info.

 

[southsleuth]

Sorry everyone, I've been feeling crappy and then it took me hours to catch up... You all have been BUSY lately!!!
Just a few thoughts..
Talking to my husband who has lots of friends in the trades, they don't wear their wedding bands or any rings. Too dangerous, can get caught. I think the wearing of the wedding ring is being stated to make us all feel warm and fuzzy about a great happy marriage. My guess its going to be found somewhere in those drawers or at the bottom of a storm drain (tossed out)
The CAR (I know, jazz hands and all that)... I would love to know if their were other personal effects in there. My car has all kinds of things that are MINE, CDs, air freshener, some trash on the floor, blanket on the back seat, a jar with change in the center column. If the CAR was completely empty, then either he was a neat freak, made to be a neat freak by someone else, or he emptied it of all personal items prior to leaving it at DP station. Like I said before, he could have cleaned out the CAR including lunch pail, at Arrow using those trash cans right outside the door.
As far as appearance, at his age, perhaps he was "hiding the gray" and has since let it grow out. IMO that might make it just that much harder to spot him as we have been told short brown hair... By now it could be considerably longer and grayer.
And if he was accosted in the garage, with his MA training , wouldn't there have been some sign of struggle? Something toppled over that may have lead LE to consider foul play?
And... the schools in commack get out at either 3:45, 3:30 or 2:45 depending on which level (elementary, middle,high) so especially if they took the bus, it would be unlikely there would be any kids in the area at 2:50. Or Moms outside waiting for buses. Just an observation.
Happy Sunday, WS'ers!

You are spot on about the wedding ring. When DH and I married I got a band and he didn't. He had done trade work for years before and simply from habit didn't want to wear one. A good many men don't.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

Wearing a wedding band is definitely dangerous for a man who works with his hands. I've heard horror stories of them getting caught in machinery.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

Some wear them around their neck on a chain

 

[windstorm]

Let's keep in mind, too, that at first it was said that he kissed IM goodbye and told her he loved her when he left that morning, like he did every other morning and then that was changed to, IM didn't know what time he left or if he was running late because she was asleep.

Also, he was "POSSIBLY UNSHAVEN" that day.

I have said before, he looks clean shaven in every picture that has been released, so I've always thought that maybe there was a fight the night before and he either slept on the couch or went to a friends house to sleep & cool off....left in a hurry and upset..so, forgot his wallet & shaving equipment.

I think "unshaven" is unusual for him. IMO

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

Is everyone really sure drugs were not a possibility? "You are important" "I will keep you safe" the need to keep appearances up etc. Etc. Remind me of someone that is insecure with and/or anxiety probs (which I highly doubt) or a response to someone that may have relapsed.

Drugs can definitely be a possibility. Lets face it anyone over 35 is going to start feeling those aches here and there. He is 46 so yes it could be a drug problem but why not just go away for help? IM words are very confusing. It sounds like she may know in her heart he is embarrassed of something??
And who can really prove that there wasn't a note left??

 

[Clemenza]

I have always taken, "he could be unshaven" to mean he hasn't been home (since he's missing) and hasn't had the opportunity to shave. So, if you're looking for him, consider that he could be unshaven as opposed to the clean cut look on the flier.

 

[Sweetnspicy]

Drugs can definitely be a possibility. Lets face it anyone over 35 is going to start feeling those aches here and there. He is 46 so yes it could be a drug problem but why not just go away for help? IM words are very confusing. It sounds like she may know in her heart he is embarrassed of something??
And who can really prove that there wasn't a note left??

Why dont many addicts go away for help? Especially if they relapse after being clean for a long time. My brother who is a drug counselor says that sometimes upon relapsing, the guilt is tremendous, especially if there are people that look up to or depend on that person. They feel hopeless and helpless, not worthy of a family, good job, position of some authority (foreman), so they simply give up. Until they hit rock bottom again or die of course. jmoo

 

[Momoffourboys]

Drugs can definitely be a possibility. Lets face it anyone over 35 is going to start feeling those aches here and there. He is 46 so yes it could be a drug problem but why not just go away for help? IM words are very confusing. It sounds like she may know in her heart he is embarrassed of something??
And who can really prove that there wasn't a note left??

The only person who can prove anything is RM... As far as i am concerned none of the "facts" are facts...
The scrap yard...non issue...just a distraction.
The phone...lied about once, could have been found when wallet was found.
The car...too clean. Too empty.
The money...could have been there before. Unless there is a scrap yard receipt.
The ring...most tradesmen do not risk injury by wearing rings. It has also been noted that had already had one accident and lost part of a finger...

Thats just off the top of my head.
Im not blaming or sleuthing anyone...JMO

anic:anic:anic:

 

[windstorm]

I have been in the process of going back over threads and working on a timeline, but need to get a budget report knocked out first (dang work!). Apparently, I have downloaded the last FAQ (8-28-13). You know how you could "download" or "preview", I had mostly just previewed because it was open for all to see. I guess I hit "download" instead of "preview" at some point.

Therefore, I have a copy. I would be happy to copy and post in here if that is okay with mods, since it really isn't "official" and it came from where it came from.

 

[Sweetnspicy]

Drugs can definitely be a possibility. Lets face it anyone over 35 is going to start feeling those aches here and there. He is 46 so yes it could be a drug problem but why not just go away for help? IM words are very confusing. It sounds like she may know in her heart he is embarrassed of something??
And who can really prove that there wasn't a note left??

To expand further on this... yes he is 46, around my age, and he has done work with his hands almost if not all of his life. Recently I had to go back to school and start over in a new career because my hands and back had gotten so bad I could not do what I did before. I remember feeling very defeated, almost useless while I tried to figure this out and I took a big hit financially. 46 is not exactly old. Supposedly 40's are The new 30's... big mortgage, certain lifestyle to upkeep... maybe he felt the same way, maybe somehow these aches and pains were becoming harder to ignore and he started worrying about being able to keep up. Maybe he felt like many men do, that his ability to provide was directly linked to his being "a man" and felt that he was a burden. Started using supplements to keep up with the guys and as time went on, he needed to take something a little more "hardcore". This would explain her comment "see you are important". I mean why else would a good looking man, in what seems to be good physical shape on the surface, supposedly good mental health, loving family man, good job etc all of a sudden feel "unimportant"???? Especially if the spouse has her own money from a previously "lucrative" "career"??? JMOO

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

Why dont many addicts go away for help? Especially if they relapse after being clean for a long time. My brother who is a drug counselor says that sometimes upon relapsing, the guilt is tremendous, especially if there are people that look up to or depend on that person. They feel hopeless and helpless, not worthy of a family, good job, position of some authority (foreman), so they simply give up. Until they hit rock bottom again or die of course. jmoo

It would explain a huge money issue too. Selling scrap??? People are on certain painkillers for years and I've seen it before, they hide it. Nobody knows until money goes missing etc. I understand he may have felt helpless if its drugs but like you said why not just get help? The drugs is a possibility. Her words that's what just isn't right, we will keep you safe??? I pray it isn't suicide but my mind keeps going back to that darn scrap yard, especially now that IM viewed a tape. And it's the change in stories too, something is really wrong with this whole story.

 

[Philigumbo]

Way back I remember "he never had his wallet with him that day". Is that still on the FAQ page? How could "someone" make that claim if the wallet was "supposedly" discovered at 4pm after Rob was only about an hour late?

"Someone" didn't KNOW he left it until she "found" it at 4pm, but it was written to sound like she knew it was there at home all day. I'm wondering if he left without his wallet in the morning because he couldn't FIND it - taken by someone to "make him stay" or thinking he wouldn't drive away without a drivers license....and when he left anyway, the wallet is used as a "clue" that he is missing. ullhair:

Moo and all that....

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

To expand further on this... yes he is 46, around my age, and he has done work with his hands almost if not all of his life. Recently I had to go back to school and start over in a new career because my hands and back had gotten so bad I could not do what I did before. I remember feeling very defeated, almost useless while I tried to figure this out and I took a big hit financially. 46 is not exactly old. Supposedly 40's are The new 30's... big mortgage, certain lifestyle to upkeep... maybe he felt the same way, maybe somehow these aches and pains were becoming harder to ignore and he started worrying about being able to keep up. Maybe he felt like many men do, that his ability to provide was directly linked to his being "a man" and felt that he was a burden. Started using supplements to keep up with the guys and as time went on, he needed to take something a little more "hardcore". This would explain her comment "see you are important". I mean why else would a good looking man, in what seems to be good physical shape on the surface, supposedly good mental health, loving family man, good job etc all of a sudden feel "unimportant"???? Especially if the spouse has her own money from a previously "lucrative" "career"??? JMOO

I can relate to your situation. 5 years ago when I had my daughter I became very sick. I felt helpless, I dodged a heart transplant so I know the feeling of depression and not being able to ever go back and do any of the things I loved so much. I thank GOD for my husband who took on the burden of taking care of our 2 kids. I am better now but still my life is very limited. I just can't understand if RM was on drugs which we have no facts it's just our opinions why why not just get help. The man has a family who loves him, his mom especially, moms love their boys lol will do anything for them!!!
This is so sad.....

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

"Someone" didn't KNOW he left it until she "found" it at 4pm, but it was written to sound like she knew it was there at home all day. I'm wondering if he left without his wallet in the morning because he couldn't FIND it - taken by someone to "make him stay" or thinking he wouldn't drive away without a drivers license....and when he left anyway, the wallet is used as a "clue" that he is missing. ullhair:

Moo and all that....

Yes omg it definitely seems like someone knew it was left at home from early in the morning. This question was 'over there' but never answered. Several times different people asked, "did RM ask IM if his wallet was in the house because he supposedly forgot it" these news stories change so much now it's getting harder to know what's true or false. Plus it's from one source I'm sad to say

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

And......who can prove if a note was left????
I can't imagine how difficult next Monday is going to be when school starts. I pray there is new information before school starts.

 

[ElizaAvalon]

Truth is we really know nothing except the wallet, phone and money were found and are not with RM wherever he is.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

"well-composed"---doesn't that sound like an odd way to describe someone?? Its not a phrase you hear everyday.

That "place" is just not right
"well composed" very odd words IMO
And now IM finally views a tape of RM being there that day I assume it was a tape of that day but who really knows for sure??? IM says he looks scared??
Something keeps making me think RM returned there after he went home and in those 9 minutes he was greeted by either someone familiar, explaining no signs of a struggle, or 'bad guys'

 

[Treelights]

IM mentions that RM looked worried and scared in the video from the inside of Scrap Arrow. In another interview she mentions that he wouldn't leave his family.
Has IM ever made a plea to the perp to let her husband go, if she believes there was a perp?
Even if she did not know if there was a perp, has she made a public plea to let him go incase he was taken?
IMOO.