Found Deceased PA - Paul Kochu, 22, Allegheny County, 17 Dec 2014 - #2

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OnTheBreeze said:
To me it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't think either one is him. I think it means they don't want to waste time. If it turns out neither one is him and they didn't keeping looking or getting the word out that is 2 or 3 days wasted not looking.

My heart aches for this family. I cannot imagine what they are going through. I hope they find peace soon.
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I'm going to have to disagree because my thinking is different. I would have expected Paul's mother to be extremely distraught at the thought of one of those bodies being Paul, such that she would not have the emotional strength to be driving to Pittsburgh hanging up photos.

I think the authorities have told the Kochu's that it is unlikely either body is Paul. In fact, as I wrote earlier and has been noted in the most recent article, body #2 (the one found at the Market Street Bridge in Steubenville) is not Paul because it has a lot of tattoos and Paul had none. So the other body found first last Thursday on Wheeling Island is the one that still could be a possibility to be Paul.

Personally, I think the hanging of flyers is an exercise in futility at this point.
 
At this point, with the family continuing to keep his name out there, I can't help but think that perhaps looking for Paul has kept them from breaking down. We all have different ways of dealing with stress and emotions. Personally, I am thinking I would be operating on "autopilot" simply to avoid the pain.
 
Richrd said:
Day 101

Thu., Mar. 26th: MainLine Media News©: http://triblive.com/news/allegheny/8032371-74/kochu-body-pittsburgh#axzz3VS2uAIbG


May Today Be The Day We Have Answers.
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What I wanted to say about this link is that it says that they will be putting up more signs on Wednesday, "offering a reward
seeking any information about their son and brother."

Read more: http://triblive.com/news/allegheny/8032371-74/kochu-body-pittsburgh#ixzz3VW3geBBK

Although I have seen many cases offering rewards, I haven't seen one that a reward helped, but maybe with this reward
meaning seeking information is a different type of a reward than say a capture of someone, because I guess they still don't
know what happened to Paul. I would think if a person Knew something, anything, they would come forward already, for No monetary
amount; unless someone is protecting someone, if something nefarious did happen.

IMOO.
 
Cricket99 said:
Pauls family has been in denial since day 1 so I am not surprised they are putting up flyers while they wait for an answer.
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Do you care to elaborate on what you mean by that? I think it's pretty hard for anyone whose son walks out into the cold one night and has not been seen or heard from since to deny what is happening to them. Do you know the Kochus? You have a great deal of gall to paint people who are desperately holding out hope for some kind of resolution and doing everything in their power to bring him home as being in denial.
 
Rshackleford1417 said:
Do you care to elaborate on what you mean by that? I think it's pretty hard for anyone whose son walks out into the cold one night and has not been seen or heard from since to deny what is happening to them. Do you know the Kochus? You have a great deal of gall to paint people who are desperately holding out hope for some kind of resolution and doing everything in their power to bring him home as being in denial.
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I don't think Cricket99 meant that to be mean. The posts on FB sound like they hope to find him alive walking around with amnesia. It's understandable they would be in denial that he may be dead. There's also the camp who believes he committed suicide and the Kochus are in denial about that, but I'm not sure if Cricket is one who believes that. I most certainly wouldn't be able to accept something like that if my child was missing until there was proof of death and cause of death. After watching my mother die of cancer, I believe denial is a very positive thought process. Without it, people would give up hope and hope saves lives in illness and brings people home in tragedy.
 
If it was my kid you bet your bottom I would not want to accept a lot of things. Who wants to accept a nightmare?
 
Rshackleford1417 said:
Do you care to elaborate on what you mean by that? I think it's pretty hard for anyone whose son walks out into the cold one night and has not been seen or heard from since to deny what is happening to them. Do you know the Kochus? You have a great deal of gall to paint people who are desperately holding out hope for some kind of resolution and doing everything in their power to bring him home as being in denial.
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welcome Rshackleford, thank you for your post in such an emotional and perhaps - for you - a personal case. Nonetheless, we mean no harm here, but sometimes our comments seem harsh, as many of us have researched many many cases and often expect outcomes based on past cases that seem similar. Often, after this long with someone missing under these type of circumstances, the outcome is not good, and that is where Cricket may have been coming from. We all want Paul to show up alive and unscathed. Please help with anything else we should consider in Paul's case, so we can help if at all possible.
 
Rshackleford1417 said:
Do you care to elaborate on what you mean by that? I think it's pretty hard for anyone whose son walks out into the cold one night and has not been seen or heard from since to deny what is happening to them. Do you know the Kochus? You have a great deal of gall to paint people who are desperately holding out hope for some kind of resolution and doing everything in their power to bring him home as being in denial.
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Your post is an important one. It reminds us, once again, that behind the "case" are hearts breaking, lives being torn apart, and loved ones holding on to shreds of hope. Thank you for the reminder. I know we all don't mean any disrespect, but sometimes a good reminder never hurts.
And yes, if this were my son or loved one, I would be hanging flyers or pounding on doors and sending a lot of knee mail to God until I had proof he had passed on to a better place.

Peace and love to all; let us continue to pray for this good family.
 
AzPistonsGirl said:
welcome Rshackleford, thank you for your post in such an emotional and perhaps - for you - a personal case. Nonetheless, we mean no harm here, but sometimes our comments seem harsh, as many of us have researched many many cases and often expect outcomes based on past cases that seem similar. Often, after this long with someone missing under these type of circumstances, the outcome is not good, and that is where Cricket may have been coming from. We all want Paul to show up alive and unscathed. Please help with anything else we should consider in Paul's case, so we can help if at all possible.
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Beautifully said
 
I would be the most optimistic and in denial person if my son went missing. It would be the only thing keeping me going. Cricket didn't mean harm, we've seen just how caring the kochus are in finding their son and how passionate some of the family has been in person and on social media.

Some people on here have been looking into cases like this for years and may come off as blunt to us noobs.
 
also, we often get to "know" and find a fondness for folks who go missing. We look at their SM, we read personal antidotes, we look for information that helps us know more about the person in an effort to find something, anything, to help. I think some of us get attached to the folks we help search for, especially children and young people. Finding out that we share a common interest with someone who is missing, or that we are from the same town or had the same passion helps us connect and make that person real and alive for us. We are not just here to post stories and oogle over sad details; we are here because we care about one another in this world, and how we treat each other, bottom line. We want to help.

well, in my opinion anyway.
 
AzPistonsGirl said:
also, we often get to "know" and find a fondness for folks who go missing. We look at their SM, we read personal antidotes, we look for information that helps us know more about the person in an effort to find something, anything, to help. I think some of us get attached to the folks we help search for, especially children and young people. Finding out that we share a common interest with someone who is missing, or that we are from the same town or had the same passion helps us connect and make that person real and alive for us. We are not just here to post stories and oogle over sad details; we are here because we care about one another in this world, and how we treat each other, bottom line. We want to help.

well, in my opinion anyway.
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Another beautiful post!
And many have experienced similar types of tragedy, and being on WS helping in whatever way we can, gives purpose and helps heal. The only way to heal, is to help another.
 
Rshackleford1417 said:
Do you care to elaborate on what you mean by that? I think it's pretty hard for anyone whose son walks out into the cold one night and has not been seen or heard from since to deny what is happening to them. Do you know the Kochus? You have a great deal of gall to paint people who are desperately holding out hope for some kind of resolution and doing everything in their power to bring him home as being in denial.
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Along with a warm welcome, I would also like to add that suggesting Cricket has gall may be a bit harsh. As you can see, Cricket has been a member here for a long time and along with that comes many cases and seeing many reactions from families. I have been on other cases with Cricket and have only seen the upmost concern and effort in helping. I really think Cricket was just sharing with us the state of mind that Paul's family is and has been in as compared to many others cases.
Because of your strong response to Cricket, I cannot help feel that perhaps you may be a bit closer to the family than others on here. If so, is there anything that you can share with us? I am sure you can see that we really have had very little information to work with.
 
If a loved one of mine was missing I would NEVER lose hope, so I guess I would be in denial too. I think that would be the only thing getting me through..
 
Rshackleford1417 said:
Do you care to elaborate on what you mean by that? I think it's pretty hard for anyone whose son walks out into the cold one night and has not been seen or heard from since to deny what is happening to them. Do you know the Kochus? You have a great deal of gall to paint people who are desperately holding out hope for some kind of resolution and doing everything in their power to bring him home as being in denial.
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No, I do not know the Kochus, do you? I am sure they are trying to bring him home, I just don't think they are being realistic to think no harm has come to him at this point. I am just going by statistics, but I could be way off base and hope I am. Thank you for your comments.
 
Breaking News: pittsburgh police to hold press conference at 7:45 PM tonight with updates on Paul Kochu and Andre Gray
 
I think I am too much of a realist...I would have a harder time convincing myself a missing loved one was alive, after a period of time. But jmo.
 
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