Rape allegations mount against Bill Cosby #1

[Redbird]

Married women/men can be raped repeatedly and stay married. Casual dating the same thing. I can't speak for her, but sometimes an individual denies the act or minimizes the seriousness of it. It's psychologically and emotionally complicated. Maybe there is a psychologist or expert on this board who can answer that for you b/c it's not easy to answer. jmo

Of course it is very complicated. I can't imagine myself having anything else to do with someone who raped me, but I can say as a rape victim, the first answer that comes to mind is DENIAL. Isn't denial the first emotional reaction to coping with a traumatic event? I was raped 50 years ago and to this day if I have to think about it, my first reaction is to shut down and try to fight off the memory, to stuff it again. That is why it is so brave of women who do come forward. I am sure some women who are raped by their husbands live in denial as they try to cope.

 

[jjenny]

In Andrew Luster case, as I recall, one of the victims was his long term girlfriend. A man could be very successful, able to attract women easily, etc. Doesn't mean he can't be a rapist.
There is even a term for this sexual fetish: Somnophilia.

If allegations against Cosby are true, it would appear to be something similar could be in place here.

"When you have sex with an unconscious person, it means that you cannot emotionally tolerate the exchange that it necessary with a real person — dealing with feelings and needs and giving back to the person," Kuriansky, whose practice is based in New York, told Crime Library. "It is infantile, hostile and shows inability to respect women...You are the boss and power. Women do your bidding and cannot complain. You can do anything you want and not suffer the consequences.""

http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_mind/sexual_assault/andrew_luster/9.html

 

[AlwaysShocked]

"'He zeroed in on that like a laser beam.'My mother totally trusted him, too. She would have never let me into dangerous hands. She sent me off with her blessings. She wanted me to have these opportunities.'

Now, in retrospect, Barbara believes this was all part of Cosby's plan — to 'gain my mother's trust so that she wouldn't butt in and get in the way.'By the time I was drugged and raped by him in New York, he'd already broken me down, brainwashed me and made me feel like there was something wrong with me if I resisted his sexual advances.
'Bill would say that he needed to guide me, and that I must trust him. When he'd fill me in on my next itinerary to meet him, he would say, "You're not going to fight me this time, are you?" He'd remind me that if I was going to be a successful actress, I'd have to break down my barriers and "learn to be vulnerable."

'I knew something was wrong, that this was a twisted situation, but if I resisted, I was failing him and failing my good fortune. He was a pot of gold and I needed to take good care of it.'

Barbara said there were times she'd push him away, but then she'd give in. It was Reno, Nevada. 1986. Cosby's hotel suite was darkened.

'He turned out all the lights. It was completely pitch black. He laid me down on the couch and started caressing and touching me all over. Then he put my hand on his penis, covering it with his hand. He had me masturbate him. I couldn't see what was going on. When it was over, I ran out of the room and threw up.

'It was so invasive and frightening and humiliating. There was no way I could tell my mother. I couldn't even admit it to myself. I tried to convince myself that I'd imagined it. That it was a one-time thing, that it wouldn't happen again. And I was paralyzed with fear."




This is classic "grooming" behavior on the part of the predator. This is Jerry Sandusky-like behavior. Even worse - if possible, the Cosby allegations involve him drugging the victims.

These kinds of predators use their position of power and authority to groom both the parents and the victim. Perhaps it is having closely followed the Sandusky case that has allowed some of us to recognize the pattern here? Multiple victims. Victims who did not report the incident for many years, until it had already become public. Some (but not all) ictims who continued to have contact with the perpetrator. Victims whose parents were groomed. Victims who were getting some perceived benefit out of the "relationship" - special treatment, trips, gifts, etc.

I believe these predators are very disturbed. But can they maintain the appearance of "normality". Obviously they can and do.

I believe Mrs. Jerry Sandusky at some point along the way had some realization that she was married to a disturbed individual. And at that point denial became her defense mechanism. I suspect Mrs. Bill Cosby has been and continues to be in a similar situation.

 

[AlwaysShocked]

It is always interesting to read what someone who has not experienced a certain traumatic event is so very, very sure they would do under those circumstances. Being raped, experiencing violence of any kind - whether domestic or by a stranger in a street mugging - there always seems to be those who are so very sure they "would have done this" or "never would have done that".

And I guess it is easy for some to "be so sure". Because it is based on logical, rational thinking. But that is not how being attacked works. At all.


In the overall, this is an absolutely horrendous story. For everyone. For the Cosby family. For the victims. For the public. Just for everyone. But, it is what it is.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Maybe they simply weren't strong enough, or smart enough (I don't think that, for the record - I think the reasons are more complex and deeply psychological, but I'm just going hypothetically). Maybe they had no common sense (again, hypothetical - I don't believe it). Maybe they were still hoping for stardom.

Does any of that make it okay that he drugged them, and without consent sexually assaulted them?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sorry, I don't buy that. I think there is more to this and it is not about him but them.
There is no proof he did anything to them so I won't talk about it like it is a fact because it isn't at this point. IT is an allegation or complaint.

Just because some of us may not post our lives here, does not mean that some of us have not been through traumatic experiences.

 

[Donjeta]

Isn't it an interesting coincidence that all these disturbed women who have so many things wrong with them decided to ruin the same man's life for no reason?

 

[Trino]

Sorry, I don't buy that. I think there is more to this and it is not about him but them.
There is no proof he did anything to them so I won't talk about it like it is a fact because it isn't at this point. IT is an allegation or complaint.

Just because some of us may not post our lives here, does not mean that some of us have not been through traumatic experiences.

Thanks for your response. Could it be that some of the women were more than willing to endure this treatment in hopes of becoming a star, which is why they didn't complain rather than it affecting them psychologically.

 

[wendiesan]

Isn't it an interesting coincidence that all these disturbed women who have so many things wrong with them decided to ruin the same man's life for no reason?

I think it's an interesting coincidence that they could all be part of the preamble to Gloria Allred's proposed $100 million dollar trust fund for at least the alleged victim/s she currently represents. At Allred's carefully choreographed media opportunity, complete with tear drenched faces and sobs, an accuser (who, IIRC, may have kept approaching Cosby over the past ten years with offers to keep quiet about a supposed underage rape for $10,000, then for escalating prices up to $250,000) claimed she's only doing this to keep a 77 year old man from attacking young women. Even a small slice of a $100 million pie would be a very nice sum.

Unfortunately, IMO, this money grab could undermine the credibility of those women claiming to be Cosby's victims.

 

[chlban]

I'm curious if the Cosby defenders have a theory on why a large number of women didn't jump on a potential bandwagon when Woody Allen was accused? If you believe every single one of these women is lying, what is their incentive, and why didn't a similar percentage of women try the same thing with Woody Allen? They both have similarly long careers and money, I'm sure.

Bonus points if you can answer without trying to turn it into a referendum on Woody Allen's guilt or innocence, which is not my point.

This really makes no sense. Woody Allen was accused of molesting a child that was effectively, if not legally, his stepdaughter. There are obviously a very finite number of children that would then fall into his victim pool. One is the person that accused him and he married another one. So who else would be expected on that particular bandwagon?

Cosby is accused of raping a series of women he had contact with over a number of years. Bigger pool, more accusers.

I do believe there is truth to many of these accusations against Cosby, but I also believe that there are likely women "jumping on the bandwagon". The two things are not mutually exclusive.

I also believe that Woody Allen molested Mia's daughter. But I don't think you analogy makes any sense. No offense meant.

 

[Donjeta]

How will we remember Bill Cosby?
By Todd Leopold, CNN
December 8, 2014 -- Updated 1644 GMT (0044 HKT)


http://edition.cnn.com/2014/12/08/s...gossip/bill-cosby-future/index.html?hpt=hp_c4

"The court of public opinion has cost him all of his projects," said Michael Bilello, who heads Centurion Strategies, a PR and crisis-management shop. "His inactions, his mishandling of PR, his legal maneuvering -- those are characteristics you do not want to display, especially when you're accused of rape."

Other comedians weighing in:

I don't know what to say. What do you say? I hope it's not true. That's all you can say. I really do," Chris Rock told New York magazine. "I grew up on Cosby. I love Cosby, and I just hope it's not true. It's a weird year for comedy. We lost Robin (Williams), we lost Joan (Rivers), and we kind of lost Cosby."

Cedric the Entertainer agreed. In an "Entertainment Tonight" interview on the red carpet for Rock's movie "Top Five," he expressed both admiration and sadness.

"We all grew up on him, and we know and respect him, not just as a comedian but for the things that he's done outside of comedy, with the colleges and giving back (to the community) and spending his money where his mouth is," he said. "But if the allegations have any truth to them, you want the truth to come out. You want justification for all the people. That's all you can really say. It's an unfortunate scenario."

Jerry Seinfeld was brief.

"It's sad and incomprehensible," he said.

At least one comedy celebrity has become notably anti-Cosby. Judd Apatow, the writer and director of such films as "Knocked Up" and "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," attacked Cosby on his Twitter feed.

"I have numerous personal connections to this situation and the victims. I think he is a coward and clearly a sociopath," Apatow wrote November 26.

Will you still watch 'The Cosby Show'?

By Sally Kohn, CNN Political Commentator
December 7, 2014 -- Updated 2020 GMT (0420 HKT)

It is hard to believe that Bill Cosby is a serial rapist because the belief doesn't just indict Cosby, it indicts us," wrote Ta-Nehisi Coates in The Atlantic. "It damns us for drawing intimate conclusions about people based on pudding-pop commercials and popular TV shows." Cliff Huxtable may have been just a TV character, but he was also a symbol, and Cosby appeared to embody his positive virtues.

I think some of our collective reluctance to believe more than a dozen women who have accused Bill Cosby of rape stems from our desire to preserve the cultural significance of "The Cosby Show." We drew feel-good conclusions about Bill Cosby the man from pudding-pop commercials and TV shows not just because he wanted us to, but because we wanted to.

 

[Donjeta]

http://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser...-with-six-bill-cosby-accusers-tonight_b248268
CNN’s Don Lemon Speaks With Six Bill Cosby Accusers Tonight
By Brian Flood on December 8, 2014 11:40 AM

The CNN special “The Cosby Show: A Legend Under Fire” airs tonight at 9 pm ET. Don Lemon, who recently made headlines when interviewing a Cosby accuser, will host the program that explores the controversy surrounding comedian Bill Cosby.

 

[Irisha]

http://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser...-with-six-bill-cosby-accusers-tonight_b248268
CNN’s Don Lemon Speaks With Six Bill Cosby Accusers Tonight
By Brian Flood on December 8, 2014 11:40 AM

The CNN special “The Cosby Show: A Legend Under Fire” airs tonight at 9 pm ET. Don Lemon, who recently made headlines when interviewing a Cosby accuser, will host the program that explores the controversy surrounding comedian Bill Cosby.

CNNs TPTB are cray cray, Don Lemon is the worst choice they could make for the host of this non special. I don't know if I can watch it, I don't trust Lemon's credibility anymore, about anything.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

How will we remember Bill Cosby?
By Todd Leopold, CNN
December 8, 2014 -- Updated 1644 GMT (0044 HKT)


http://edition.cnn.com/2014/12/08/s...gossip/bill-cosby-future/index.html?hpt=hp_c4







Other comedians weighing in:



Will you still watch 'The Cosby Show'?

By Sally Kohn, CNN Political Commentator
December 7, 2014 -- Updated 2020 GMT (0420 HKT)

It is hard to believe that Bill Cosby is a serial rapist because the belief doesn't just indict Cosby, it indicts us," wrote Ta-Nehisi Coates in The Atlantic. "It damns us for drawing intimate conclusions about people based on pudding-pop commercials and popular TV shows." Cliff Huxtable may have been just a TV character, but he was also a symbol, and Cosby appeared to embody his positive virtues.

I think some of our collective reluctance to believe more than a dozen women who have accused Bill Cosby of rape stems from our desire to preserve the cultural significance of "The Cosby Show." We drew feel-good conclusions about Bill Cosby the man from pudding-pop commercials and TV shows not just because he wanted us to, but because we wanted to.

I am still flabbergasted by the jump on board attitude of everyone when no one has been brought to trial or convicted.

I can see that some would be pondering the allegations but I certainly hope that those who are just so sure this is all right would want the same kind of judgment against them.

Until I see evidence that corroborates these stories, or a conviction, I won't convict someone in the court of public opinion.

 

[Donjeta]

It's no less judgmental to mentally convict the women for making false accusations, it's just choosing a different side to believe in.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

It's no less judgmental to mentally convict the women for making false accusations, it's just choosing a different side to believe in.

Who is mentally convicting people?? Not me.. I just want them to prove the allegations. Prove their story. Im waiting.

 

[Donjeta]

Basically we have two options. Either to believe that Bill Cosby is guilty of what he's been accused of or the women are guilty of lying about that.

No matter which side we lean on, there's no proof that they're guilty.
The women have not been convicted of making false accusations.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Basically we have two options. Either to believe that Bill Cosby is guilty of what he's been accused of or the women are guilty of lying about that.

No matter which side we lean on, there's no proof that they're guilty.
The women have not been convicted of making false accusations.

The other option is to make people who accuse people to show proof that backs up their allegations. It is on them to prove it. Not the innocent to prove innocence.

 

[Boodles]

Maybe all women need to start wearing (hidden secret) body cams. That way, if they're raped there will be "proof." It will have to be a cam that can't be disabled by rapists, and that part will be tricky. And it will have to instantly upload to a non-hackable cloud so the rapist can't delete or manipulate it. What an invention this would be. I need to get on this...

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Maybe all women need to start wearing (hidden secret) body cams. That way, if they're raped there will be "proof." It will have to be a cam that can't be disabled by rapists, and that part will be tricky. And it will have to instantly upload to a non-hackable cloud so the rapist can't delete or manipulate it. What an invention this would be. I need to get on this...

There are many men convicted of Rape. It is done everyday after it is proven to be true. All I want is some proof of the allegations.

 

[rosemadderlake]

This isn’t a cut and dry case – while there is the common thread of drugging, sexual assault, and rape, each story is an individual one. Right or wrong, some seem consensual, and others do not.

With Constand’s 2006 settlement and the 13 women who backed her up, BC’s reputation is not being challenged out of thin air.

He may be a despicable man, personally, and his reputation in shambles, but his work will not be diminished in the eyes of those who love him. (imo) --And, if the giant 100 mil lawsuit goes nowhere, he could even bounce back in this lifetime.

I know this has been asked – what do they want? I think there are some who want nothing to do with the money, or a three ring circus with big gun lawyers. They have braved the press gauntlet to share their experiences and to validate the others whether or not it is “proven” in court.

The lawyers are now celebrities, too. I wonder if this will escalate into a big mess. - The one woman who filed a report within a “close” window of time (1 yr. vs 30-40 yrs.) has settled. If the suit with the underage girl can’t be proven on any level, or the allegations against her by Cosby are true, then it works in Cosby’s favor, and subsequently not in favor of the other 40 year old allegations.

I think Cosby is an entertainer with a bad reputation, long known and understood, and never really challenged. If there was ever an example of Karma, this is it.