Rebecca Nalepa - suicide or murder? #4

[obmama]

I found the video sad, and her alone the majority of the photos....

Thank you!
There were those "photo shoot" pictures of JS & RN, and a couple pix of RN & MS, in the news. I wonder why they weren't included in the video. Not one of JS, her ex, or any men. Kind of contradicts the perception her sister gave, that they knew JS rather well.

Another thought, I'm thinking that picture frame they took for evidence, contained a large picture from one of the professional shoots. Her "violent death" portrayed anger, and I wonder if the picture was slashed, damaged or graffitied.

 

[jjenny]

I am not convinced that whoever refers to herself as "stepmonster" is RN. For one, RN wasn't yet married to JS. So it could be DS. No doubt DS and the older two children had some sort of relationship while DS was married to their father.

 

[IzzyBlanche]

Just for the record, we have no confirmation that JS and DS argued over Maxie's bedwetting. The original source said "soiled bedding" but as another poster--forget who--pointed out, that doesn't necessarily mean bedwetting, he could have been sick.

Now if anyone finds a source that specifically says bedwetting, I'll eat my words.

--Izzy "Just the Facts Ma'am" Blanche

 

[obmama]

I have done so much for them..but I am now the enemy for some reason.

I hear ya! Fortunately, she's outgrown that stage and we get along well. But, you can't erase the past, so I never let my guard down.

There were problems in that household (obviously!) and I think RN had unrealistic expectations, that JS's money would buy her a storybook life.

I also noticed the variations in time they were together. Initially, it was two years. Then RN's sister said it was three years. I think the "two year story" was a cover up, that the relationship began while he was with DS.

Remembering that argument . . . "You will not leave me!" For a psychologist, it seems she's quite lacking in emotional control.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

looks like it 100% to me.

That looks awfully thick to be an electrical cord to me.

imo

 

[obmama]

I am not convinced that whoever refers to herself as "stepmonster" is RN. For one, RN wasn't yet married to JS. So it could be DS. No doubt DS and the older two children had some sort of relationship while DS was married to their father.

The fundraiser was May 2011. Two donations for $75 each were made, one from her mother and the other from the "Wicked Stepmonster of GS". In the same vein that RN called JS's kids "hers", I can't imagine it's anyone other than RN. I doubt she keeps contact with an ex-stepmother JS separated from in 2008, whose relationship with her father involved domestic violence.

 

[Jade]

I have read several times that she was 'found hanging, with a rope around her neck'. Not that she was found hanging 'by' a rope around her neck. Vague difference, that may or may not be important.

While catching up on the threads I just read these articles that were linked in the page before your post:

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/jul/16/spreckels-mansion-owner-described-go-getter/

The nude body of his girlfriend, 32-year-old Rebecca M. Zahau, was found dangling by the neck from the rear balcony of the Spreckels mansion on Ocean Boulevard. Her wrists and ankles were bound.

bbm

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/jul/25/woman-mansion-death-remembered-generous-kind/

Her body was found nude hanging from a balcony by the neck.

bbm

I see that this opinion piece takes a shortcut and just says hanging.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/jul/24/aftermath-coronado-mansion-deaths-some-it-noir/

Two days after the July 11 fall, when the dying boy was in the hospital, the nude body of the girlfriend of the boy’s father is found hanging from a balcony, arms and legs bound.

bbm

The pickings are slim for sleuthing.

all imo

 

[Hunnydolll]

Hello everyone!
Still way behind on this thread. Sorry if this has been posted already, but I found Rebecca's obit and a beautiful video memorial to her:

http://www.meierhoffer.com/obituaries/rebecca-m-zahau-2/

You have to click "video" to view it - I haven't watched the entire video yet

 

[MizStery]

Peffrin,scorekeeper,time or paladine,
I believe.. it was one one of you who posted on one of the four threads ...posting rules for sleuthing i.e. All theories must be posted in the 1st person so it is clear it is your opinion only. Could you repost it. I was going to reread but the thread moves so quickly I went back to find it of course could not.Thanks

 

[oceanblueeyes]

I hate to think that RN was not liked by her future step-children....
but boy, you sure got it right in your description & what happens in
a lot of step-mother/step-child relationships. Mine included.

I think that is overblown. Most parents who split like to think for some reason their children just cant like or really love their step mom or step dad when I know many of them that do dearly love their step parents.Sometimes even more than they do one of their own bio parents. Children do feed off of negative feed back said by one or both of their parents.

I have no doubt whatsoever when it comes to the love my husband's two daughters has for me. Now of course children are smart and know when to play both ends against the middle if they think it is to their advantage and they know how to play the system if they know their mom or dad doesn't like the other step parent.

I have 3 bio children of my own and my hubby has two and from minute one we had no infighting. We approached it head on when we knew we had fallen in love and would marry. We showed all of our children they had equal value and equal love and support from both of us. Almost 29 years later all 5 of them today are grown with families of their own now and are very close to all of their siblings.

We never used the word 'step' with our children. We didn't 'step' away from them or make them feel different due to biology. We made them feel included ........not excluded. They do not refer to their "step"(technically) brother and sisters as 'step-xxxxxx.' They simply say' this is my brother or this is my sister and that is the way they think because they were never taught to think otherwise. From the minute we were married they knew we were ONE family unit.

So I don't think there is anything in this case supporting that the children did not like their step parent or even disliked Rebecca their potential future step mom.

IMO

 

[jjenny]

The fundraiser was May 2011. Two donations for $75 each were made, one from her mother and the other from the "Wicked Stepmonster of GS". In the same vein that RN called JS's kids "hers", I can't imagine it's anyone other than RN. I doubt she keeps contact with an ex-stepmother JS separated from in 2008, whose relationship with her father involved domestic violence.

Considering the 6 year old step-brother, why couldn't DS and GS keep in contact? After all, JS was clearly involved in the 6 year old life, so why couldn't that mother of the 6 year old still be in contact with the two older children?

 

[obmama]

Just for the record, we have no confirmation that JS and DS argued over Maxie's bedwetting. The original source said "soiled bedding" but as another poster--forget who--pointed out, that doesn't necessarily mean bedwetting, he could have been sick.

Now if anyone finds a source that specifically says bedwetting, I'll eat my words.

--Izzy "Just the Facts Ma'am" Blanche

While it's not confirmed, I think most interpret "soiled bedding" as a politically correct description of "bed wetting". In fact, I googled it and got the same result.

If he was sick, I'd think it would be relevant enough to mention. I don't find it offensive - every kid has accidents, even some of us adults! And, it is very believable that JS & DS argued over it. I was potty trained at 9 months, because my "high expectations" father demanded it. My mother hid my "accidents" from him.

 

[Charlie09]

I don't have statistics, but I know I have read this over and over again (parents - LOTS of times step dads and mom's boyfriends arrested after disciplining the kid for bed wetting which resulted in the kid's death). Just google "killed bed wetting child" and there are more than a million search pages that come up. :sick:

Now, it seems more often than not it happens with younger parents and the less affluent. It boggles my mind that DS/JS argued about this. What the heck is there to argue about? It happens. I potty trained a child in a weekend with no problem for during the day. 3+ years before he didn't have to wear a pull up at night. Tried everything under the moon - read every book, tried rewards, etc. Nothing. Nothing we could do about it until it just clicked for him. Never once did my husband or I argue about it?

this is taking things off topic - my 7 year old (who is truly a beloved, non-abused, joyful, bright kid) sleeps so dang soundly, this is still a problem with her, it's getting better, and I have hope in the next few months it'll be history that it was a problem. I can guarantee though that if her dad and I were in touch, this would be a HUGE argument and he would be horribly rude and mean to me about it. I can totally see this being an argument starter all the time. Especially if his older two didn't have the same issue.

 

[pferrin]

Peffrin,scorekeeper,time or paladine,
I believe.. it was one one of you who posted on one of the four threads ...posting rules for sleuthing i.e. All theories must be posted in the 1st person so it is clear it is your opinion only. Could you repost it. I was going to reread but the thread moves so quickly I went back to find it of course could not.Thanks

It wasnt me..I have been looking as well..perhaps scorekeeper or Paladine will know.

Ocean blue eyes. I really enjoyed what you descibed about all your children. thanks

 

[Paladine]

Hi,

I looked up stepmonster and there is a book written about the relationship between a step mom and the step children.

Is it titled, "the wicked stepmonster of GS"? As the donor is titled?

 

[MizStery]

It wasnt me..I have been looking as well..perhaps scorekeeper or Palitine will know.

Ocean blue eyes. I really enjoyed what you descibed about all your children. thanks

Thanks! It was a cautionary post on how to post 'your opinion' or your theory and not go afowl of sleuthing protocol. Also,to post that 'it is your opinion' so as not to get called on providing a link for your personal opinion.

 

[Charlie09]

I think that is overblown. Most parents who split like to think for some reason their children just cant like or really love their step mom or step dad when I know many of them that do dearly love their step parents.Sometimes even more than they do one of their own bio parents. Children do feed off of negative feed back said by one or both of their parents.

I have no doubt whatsoever when it comes to the love my husband's two daughters has for me. Now of course children are smart and know when to play both ends against the middle if they think it is to their advantage and they know how to play the system if they know their mom or dad doesn't like the other step parent.

I have 3 bio children of my own and my hubby has two and from minute one we had no infighting. We approached it head on when we knew we had fallen in love and would marry. We showed all of our children they had equal value and equal love and support from both of us. Almost 29 years later all 5 of them today are grown with families of their own now and are very close to all of their siblings.

We never used the word 'step' with our children. We didn't 'step' away from them or make them feel different due to biology. We made them feel included ........not excluded. They do not refer to their "step"(technically) brother and sisters as 'step-xxxxxx.' They simply say' this is my brother or this is my sister and that is the way they think because they were never taught to think otherwise. From the minute we were married they knew we were ONE family unit.

So I don't think there is anything in this case supporting that the children did not like their step parent or even disliked Rebecca their potential future step mom.

IMO

Here's what I believe is different. You are (at least seemingly ) normal, and want what is best for you and your husband as a couple, and your family as a whole.

I believe from what we've seen by his behavior, JS cared more about himself than he did the well being of ANYone in his family.

 

[obmama]

So I don't think there is anything in this case supporting that the children did not like their step parent or even disliked Rebecca their potential future step mom.

IMO

I don't think many families are spared from rivalry, "step" or not, at some point in their lifetimes. Obviously, you and your husband were prepared to dispel the common belief that blended families can't get along.

The "wicked stepmother" persona comes from a fairy tale, and hardly represents most children's relationship with their stepparents, if only out of love for their biological parents. But, I think most go through a rocky period at some point, just as they do with their real parents. I connect this with a show of new independence during their teenaged years.

You've been a family for 29 years, Rebecca was a new member to JS's family. I don't think "wicked stepmonster" is a show of affection, I find it disrespectful and hurtful toward the person it was directed at, especially when it was in recognition of a gift on a public website for all to see.

The failure to acknowledge RN's passing in a sympathetic gesture, by both JS and GS (if only for show), is ill mannered and cold hearted. This family is a far cry from yours.

 

[Paladine]

Good Find! Definitely Rebecca.
I don't see Dina having a relationship with GS, after the divorce, and doubt she'd make a charity contribution on her behalf.

"StepMONSTER" That bites! Especially, from the one she called "my daughter". The "my son", "my daughter" reference irked me, so I'd say GS didn't respond favorably. It oversteps boundaries, IMO.

When I met my boyfriend 13 years ago, his daughter was 11, his son 9. We were living together within a month, very happily the first two years, until the novelty (me) wore off. When his daughter turned 13, my life became Hell. There was resentment because I lived with him, she did not.

When they spent weekends, she wanted me out of the picture because I had him all week. She did everything to come between us, and Daddy's little girl could do no wrong. Kids shuffled between two households, particularly when relations are strained between parents, are cleverly manipulative to get what they want. They portray an innocence that no parent will doubt, and the "stepmonster" is always at fault.

I had a suspicion the two had problems. That nasty nickname out there for all to see, tells me JS wouldn't or couldn't do a thing about it. I'm still wondering what compelled her to post MS's death on Facebook, when it compromised the family's privacy. Not to mention the glaring absence of condolences for RN. I have a feeling the neighbor boy, who watched it all unfold from his rooftop, kept her posted on current events. He said they kept in touch by phone, and he's the one who put her early departure alibi out there.

I wondered if GS tweaked the facts and blamed MS's accident on RN, to remove responsibility from herself and put it on RN. Believe me, it is extremely frustrating to be doubted in your futile attempt to defend yourself, when favor is with a child who can do no wrong.

The sullen look at ES's bas mitzvah tells me she's not happy unless the center of attention. I thought it odd ES wasn't at the "summer home" with the rest of the "family". My bf's daughter used to call her dad to pick her up, before her brother got home from school, and tell her dad he didn't want to come. My bf was hurt that his son didn't want to spend the weekend, until I asked "who's doing the talking?" The next time she pulled this, he asked to talk to her brother. She said he wasn't home, then his son picked up the extension and asked why she was lying. Busted! I also wonder if GS felt resentment toward MS.

My bf was clueless to her manipulations. I once said he should discipline her, he said "she doesn't do anything wrong!" Just want to give my real life experiences in a blended household. A teenager's newfound independence can wreak havoc, and is not for the faint at heart. RN's cultural differences probably made it even more difficult.

RBBM

Man, can I relate! My recent wealthy EX had 2 children; they were 15 and 17 when I came into the picture. They did not like it. They saw me as a threat to their inheritence. They did everything they could to cause discord. And the daughter reminded me so much of ICA! Me, me, me. (hidden pregnancy, compulsive liar, and all!) We couldn't go out to eat without bringing HER something back or she would be so pizzed. When he bought me a gift, he had to hide it OR buy her something, too! When I went to the salon, he had to pay for her to go too...she could be left out of nothing! She even fought with my 8 yr old over a playstation...he was playing and SHE wanted to play..she was 16!

Some on here might recall when I disappeared for awhile...I mentioned a bit of my situation. I left him, disappeared, and took nothing. So much for worry about ME taking a piece of HER pie, lol...I have never been happier, poorer, but happier.

The Ex still calls my Mom a yr later wanting me back. No matter if I DO still have feelings and miss my old life, I cannot go because of those kids...they made it hell. They do not 'share' well.

ETA: to illustrate it: We were walking towards a shopping center, this was the first time I met his daughter; she's 15...she grabs his arm and reaches for his wallet...then takes the wallet and cradles it in her hands, and with a BIG disarming smile and her arm wrapped around her fathers, she says, " This is MY wallet"... He thought it so cute. I saw the message she was sending me...THEN, same day, we go to a restaurant...I smoke, the ex is an anti-smoking health nut. She follows me in the restroom and asks me to give her a cigarrette behind her Dads back! I told her no way, her Dad would not like that and I cannot hide it from him...and off to the races we went! Hell, I tell ya.

 

[jjenny]

I don't think many families are spared from rivalry, "step" or not, at some point in their lifetimes. Obviously, you and your husband were prepared to dispel the common belief that blended families can't get along.

The "wicked stepmother" persona comes from a fairy tale, and hardly represents most children's relationship with their stepparents, if only out of love for their biological parents. But, I think most go through a rocky period at some point, just as they do with their real parents. I connect this with a show of new independence during their teenaged years.

You've been a family for 29 years, Rebecca was a new member to JS's family. I don't think "wicked stepmonster" is a show of affection, I find it disrespectful and hurtful toward the person it was directed at, especially when it was in recognition of a gift on a public website for all to see.
...

Wicked stepmonster sounds like a joke. Whoever donated the money (be it DS or RN) probably called herself that.