Bringing this over from the last thread because it cracked me up:
By T for 2:
"Hi! Is there a problem, Officer? Wait, is it my license plates? Oh, um, I was at Starbucks, see, because I love Starbucks, and animals, I love love love animals, plus I'm an artist and a really good singer too, and anyway there were these dumb skateboarders in the parking lot and they... oh, what? Blood? What blood? Where? Oh you mean this blood? Oh that's nothing, just some mean kids at prom. Don't worry, it's all been taken care of. Anyhoo Officer, I'll just be on my merry way, don't mind me... No, sorry, I really can't get out of the car right now, I'm on a road trip to visit a guy I'm maybe going to start dating but it's not like we're boyfriend/girlfriend yet but maybe we could be sometime because right now I'm totally single because I broke up with my last boyfriend but he and I are still really really good friends and did I tell you he's taking another woman to Cancun and I'm totally fine with that? By the way, are you married? I have a really bad sense of direction, can you tell me the breast way to get to Utah? What? Did I say 'breast?' Oh my gosh, I meant 'best,' not 'breast.'"
Can you please write more of these as the trial goes on for us to just maintain some comic relief?