*REVISIT* Does Anyone Feel Sad for Casey? Or Family Members?

[lauriej]

..i don't feel one shred of sadness for kc-------or george, cindy, or lee-------who all immedialtley began to cover for her, throwing her Xfriends names out there as SUSPECTS, ( the same friends that were kind enough to let her crash at their place, eat their food, steal their money!)...using up valuable time and resources sending LE on wild goose chase 'sitings'-----when they knew dam* well what the truth was...

..i feel badly for THEM--the Xfriends---- the young people who had the terrible mis-fortune to meet up with kc anthony. their names are all over the internet, they've been interviewed by LE, will now be giving depositions, then testifying at trial-----------it's going to be AWHILE before they can put this behind them.

..i'm sure they all have trust issues when meetng new friends...

..i also feel very badly for the searchers that are involved--------they never even heard of kc prior to july '08------step up to help------and now, for many, their lives are turned upside down...........until the case FINALLY makes it to trial 2011.

..LE, FBI etc------this is the job they signed up for------but, how often do they have to deal with wackos like the anthony's who are going out of their way to NOT help ? for these men and women to spend countless hours, physically & mentally working on the case----------only to discover that they've "been played" and all of their work was for nothing.

..the states witness list is extensive, kc's Xfriends, friends of friends, grandmother, uncle, co-workers of cindy's, lee's friends, LE etc...amscot employees, tow-yard employees, and on and on.........ALL because they crossed paths in some way with-------kc..... for all of them i feel badly.

..i wonder if kc will even react when they testify-------or will she just glare at them with those dead eyes.....

..

 

[logicalgirl]

When I can step away from this terrible death, this tragedy of a tiny life lost - and look at the whole picture - then yes, I feel sorry for the Anthony's.

I'm not sure I can explain it so anyone can understand or can make sense of what I'm saying, but I'll give it a try.

I don't think anyone of us really see ourselves as we really are. Oh I think we're aware of our successes or failures, and how much we love our families and friends. But do we really see ourselves? And how in the big picture we really relate to the world? If you've answered yes, then you are very fortunate.

Most of us just forge ahead doing the best we know how, emotionally crippled in one way or another, despite our best efforts, by the people who created us and life situations that've shaped us. And yet I think who we become and how we live our lives, because of what came before us, makes our lives so damned predictable. And in my family at least, the predictability of it all is heartbreaking.

And the Anthony's in their own weird, almost unrecognizable way that most of us can't relate to, do love each other. They created this family, it was theirs and it felt safe to them. And the combination of them all was like a keg of dynamite - Boom - five lives destroyed. And because of their pain, Cindy as the family defender, has reached out in pain and blame, to try to destroy the lives of others. And look at the lowlife this pain has attracted. There is no one around them who is there to help. The only people surrounding them are people who want to take something for themselves.

Yes, I think Humpty Dumpty did fall off the wall and will never be put back together again. And I do feel sad for this family, not only for the loss of their precious Caylee, but also because I believe they will never heal - they don't know how. So it's a tragedy of five lives when it could have been so much better - now it's all a waste.

 

[Amil]

I feel horrible for all the people who got drug into this (Tony, Amy etc.)
As for the Anthony's... Well, not so much. I feel bad that they had to suffer the loss of their beloved grand daughter.. BUT, if they cared an ounce about that child.. they'd want justice for her (IMO)
They remind me of MY parents. My sister has been a horrible heroin addict for years and years and years... and my parents will enable her behavior. I'm surprised that she hasn't gone all "Casey Anthony" on her son yet.. because they tried to make her be responsible for him.. yet she always lied her way out of it. They knew she wasn't working, yet still gave her the vehicles for the drug runs.. still paid for everything. Bailed her out and tried to lie for her and cover up.
So, imo.. they're just as guilty.

I just went thru a "situation" with my 13 year old son.. and instead of trying to cover anything up.. I made sure the truth was known... even if it meant he could've possibly been in a lot of trouble. People who constantly get away with things never learn their lesson

Your parents are my parents enabling my alcoholic sister into liver failure. They cared more for her than they did for her children. Too bad she locked them up at home with no phone or food, beat them with a belt, kept them home from school to keep her company......my parents would not believe the kids - your mother wouldn't do that. The kids were taken away from their mother and I got blamed. I absolutely hate Cindy Anthony.

 

[diz39]

When I can step away from this terrible death, this tragedy of a tiny life lost - and look at the whole picture - then yes, I feel sorry for the Anthony's.

I'm not sure I can explain it so anyone can understand or can make sense of what I'm saying, but I'll give it a try.

I don't think anyone of us really see ourselves as we really are. Oh I think we're aware of our successes or failures, and how much we love our families and friends. But do we really see ourselves? And how in the big picture we really relate to the world? If you've answered yes, then you are very fortunate.

Most of us just forge ahead doing the best we know how, emotionally crippled in one way or another, despite our best efforts, by the people who created us and life situations that've shaped us. And yet I think who we become and how we live our lives, because of what came before us, makes our lives so damned predictable. And in my family at least, the predictability of it all is heartbreaking.

And the Anthony's in their own weird, almost unrecognizable way that most of us can't relate to, do love each other. They created this family, it was theirs and it felt safe to them. And the combination of them all was like a keg of dynamite - Boom - five lives destroyed. And because of their pain, Cindy as the family defender, has reached out in pain and blame, to try to destroy the lives of others. And look at the lowlife this pain has attracted. There is no one around them who is there to help. The only people surrounding them are people who want to take something for themselves.

Yes, I think Humpty Dumpty did fall off the wall and will never be put back together again. And I do feel sad for this family, not only for the loss of their precious Caylee, but also because I believe they will never heal - they don't know how. So it's a tragedy of five lives when it could have been so much better - now it's all a waste.

This has to be one of the most insightful things I have read in a very long time. Thank you.

 

[txsvicki]

I only feel bad for Caylee since her life was ended. Everyone else will go on and survive. But, I do think it is unfair that Cindy was turned into the villain mostly by the media and internet when she and all the other family and friends were really victims of the manipulations of a psychopath. They and even the public were duped and fooled, turning on each other due to all the lies and manipulations that Casey created over a period of only a couple of years. It's unbelieveable and scary to see what one person can do to the lives of others, even people who became involved after Caylee went missing.

 

[Mrs G Norris]

I totally agree with you on that. I really feel for the anthony's too, they've been judged during the most awful time of their lives and am sure they were at wits end over casey's diabolical behaviour, and had no reason to think she would harm caylee. I worry that the vilification of Cindy gives Casey yet another win in her sick game against her mother.

 

[LiveLaughLuv]

It wasn't the media who turned CA into a villian, it was CA herself..IMO

She went from this sympathetic grandmother to an out of control mother trying desperately to pin Caylee's death on anyone she could find, in her mind as suspicious but never her own child. She became ravenous to prove even tho' ICA lies, she's not a murderer...however, as the evidence comes forth, they spin that out as well. She now remains silent and should have from the start. When she became contrary and hostile, it made her appear in a very bad light. She's been compared to SP's mother, Jackie..

I don't wish this on anyone, it's sheer torture having your own child accused of the murder of her own, that in itself is diabolical..IMO, she (CA) could have handled this much better. She could have begged for ICA to come clean. We will support you and still love you but you must tell the truth. See, this is about truth and not one person in this family understands what truth stands for. It appears, they don't want the truth but how can someone go through life knowing they've implicated an innocent person. Wouldn't you want the one who truly commited this crime to pay for it??? I know I would.

They also villianized themselves by not being Caylee's voice and that's what gets me..You cannot be a crime victims advocate if your not advocating your own grandchilds death by the hand of the only one who had custody of her. How she for 31 days made sure not to come in contact with you, avoided you at all costs...somethings wrong, I found my daughters car today and it smells like there's been a dead body in the damn car....it was your granddaughter CA, have you connected the dots yet???

I feel sorry for greatgrandpa, AP, greatgrandma, SP. AP still doesn't know about his greatgranddaughter, I wonder if he asks for her??? He must sing alone, longing for Caylee's touch and smell...

This is a family divided who seem to be united in blaming anyone and everyone but the one who sits accused...JMHO

Sorry, I can't drum up any empathy for anyone in the immediate family of the Anthonys household..JMHO

Justice for Caylee

 

[The World According]

I completely agree with you! :clap::clap::clap:I can guarantee without a doubt that I would never act like Cindy. My love for my daughter is conditional- you murder someone, especially my granddaughter- you lose it!

First line of our book we should write," My love for my daughter is conditional, you murder someone, especially my granddaughter, you lose it."
Brilliant! It sums up a very complicated emotional nightmare in one sentence.

 

[The World According]

When I can step away from this terrible death, this tragedy of a tiny life lost - and look at the whole picture - then yes, I feel sorry for the Anthony's.

I'm not sure I can explain it so anyone can understand or can make sense of what I'm saying, but I'll give it a try.

I don't think anyone of us really see ourselves as we really are. Oh I think we're aware of our successes or failures, and how much we love our families and friends. But do we really see ourselves? And how in the big picture we really relate to the world? If you've answered yes, then you are very fortunate.

Most of us just forge ahead doing the best we know how, emotionally crippled in one way or another, despite our best efforts, by the people who created us and life situations that've shaped us. And yet I think who we become and how we live our lives, because of what came before us, makes our lives so damned predictable. And in my family at least, the predictability of it all is heartbreaking.

And the Anthony's in their own weird, almost unrecognizable way that most of us can't relate to, do love each other. They created this family, it was theirs and it felt safe to them. And the combination of them all was like a keg of dynamite - Boom - five lives destroyed. And because of their pain, Cindy as the family defender, has reached out in pain and blame, to try to destroy the lives of others. And look at the lowlife this pain has attracted. There is no one around them who is there to help. The only people surrounding them are people who want to take something for themselves.

Yes, I think Humpty Dumpty did fall off the wall and will never be put back together again. And I do feel sad for this family, not only for the loss of their precious Caylee, but also because I believe they will never heal - they don't know how. So it's a tragedy of five lives when it could have been so much better - now it's all a waste.

That is very insightful. I had forgotten about just how many times people have used them too. Hoover went so far as to admit, he taped them in the church praying and getting finger printed, etc thinking it may be worth some money one day. Vulture. Wow, they were praying in the church, that is vile for him to secretly record. Then he tried to sell his tape of Dom searching the woods rather than taking it immediately to the police. Yes, there are plenty of instances where the Anthonys have been wronged too. I am glad you reminded us to expand our view past their actions that we deplore. Do you remember the company that made the Caylee sunshine doll with the pull string that activates the song Caylee and Grampa sang to one another, You Are My Sunshine? I do not even know how to articulate how sick that was, to take a pure innocent moment like that and commercialize it leaves me speechless!
Even if Mason does wind up walking out of the jail with Casey in tow, Caylee is gone, forever, and the Anthonys will never be fully complete again.
Every once in a while I try to imagine what I would do if one of my siblings were arrested for murdering one of my precious nieces or nephews. To convince myself it had to have been an accident that they tried to cover up, would be my jumping off point; because, to imagine that they looked up ways to kill them on the internet is sooo soul crushing I cannot even entertain the thought for two seconds. I quickly block out the entire idea and put my mind back to another topic. Perhaps I would be in the hysterical denial as the Anthonys are, because I could not handle the truth.

I do want to say I am happy and glad for them that the Anthonys have decided to try a new approach and remain private. The trial is a year, and imo, likely further than that, away. If they can remain private memories will fade and they may indeed be more sympathetic grandparents by the time the trial arrives,at least for the jurors. The trial is going to be brutal on them. Although they wont be allowed to sit in the trial (my guess) throughout, we know they wont be able to help not watching it on local live TV. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I certainly want them held to task for anything illegal they may have done, but there will be no winners in this mess, zero!

 

[Debbie3223]

i try to be nice and undestand most things in life...as my own special needs lil girls has opened my heart to so much love... but..im sorry...i simply cannot stand any of the anthonys...they are one weird family for sure... sorry to sound mean... :twocents:

 

[debbie0604]

I used to feel sorry for GA....but not anymore. My sympathy stopped a long time ago when I realized that he was lying to LE, changing his stories, and was wanting to protect his daughter instead of finding justice for his granddaughter. His actions during the Morgan depositions definitely proved to me that he was more angry over KC's arrest and allegations against her than justice. I was through with him.

The only sympathy I feel is for Caylee. I pray justice prevails.

 

[logicalgirl]

I totally agree with you on that. I really feel for the anthony's too, they've been judged during the most awful time of their lives and am sure they were at wits end over casey's diabolical behaviour, and had no reason to think she would harm caylee. I worry that the vilification of Cindy gives Casey yet another win in her sick game against her mother.

Yes, I agree. What I try to do when a situation really disturbs me, is try to strip it down to the bare bones. If I concentrate on the details, it completely blinds me.
And I think depending on how deep the emotional wound, the closer we get to the primal emotions in us.
Have you ever had a beloved pet that has been seriously injured? For example, a dog who has been hit by a car? A dog who has been a member of the family, a gentle loving creature? When you approach this animal, to help save it's life, it will viciously react - with snarling and biting - because it believes you don't understand it's pain and will cause it more pain. That fear blinds any love the animal has for you.

That's how I see the Anthony's. ICA has caused them such terrible pain they simply have lost their minds, and don't realize in the true sense, the harm they are doing.

 

[kbl8201]

the anthony's are not victims of casey's behavior.

they are accomplices to it.

 

[beach]

Yes, I agree. What I try to do when a situation really disturbs me, is try to strip it down to the bare bones. If I concentrate on the details, it completely blinds me.
And I think depending on how deep the emotional wound, the closer we get to the primal emotions in us.
Have you ever had a beloved pet that has been seriously injured? For example, a dog who has been hit by a car? A dog who has been a member of the family, a gentle loving creature? When you approach this animal, to help save it's life, it will viciously react - with snarling and biting - because it believes you don't understand it's pain and will cause it more pain. That fear blinds any love the animal has for you.

That's how I see the Anthony's. ICA has caused them such terrible pain they simply have lost their minds, and don't realize in the true sense, the harm they are doing.

BBM

LG, I agree with almost every word of this and your earlier compassionate, insightful post, except the part I bolded.

I don't think they have recently 'lost their minds' because it is evident (among other things, but especially in the emails between Rick & Shirley and between Rick & Cindy) that they kept denying and lying to protect ICA for a very, very long time. Casey was like a cancer that took over that family and they refused to treat the illness responsibly. We have evidence that they chose to remain in denial about her pregnancy into her 7th month. I've seen the pictures, the pregnancy was obvious - I don't believe CA didn't know....I believe she chose to not face it because it was going to rock her world...the perception she liked to portray to others --- of the ideal Christian family. CA was a nurse...she knew. WTH was she thinking? I have no clue because a 7 month pregnancy is not just going to 'go away'....she knew better, but chose to not deal with it. Same thing about 'not knowing' that Casey didn't work at Universal. I think it would be impossible for a control freak like CA to live in the same house with someone for 2 years and not be aware at some point that she was lying about working there. Honestly, I think CA's photo must appear next to the word DENIAL in the dictionary. I do believe GA tried to face the problems (like going to Sports Authority and confirming that she had no job), but in doing the 'right' thing, he got lambasted by CA..."What are you doing checking up on her? KC is going to be so mad!" HELLO. WTH CARES if she gets mad??? Not, OMG...we have got to address this! Really, CA makes my head hurt even trying to understand her thinking.

I do have empathy for all of them to some extent, however, especially Cindy STILL TO THIS DAY is doing the same thing - making excuses and enabling Casey....even encouraging her to lie....anything EXCEPT encouraging her to accept any sort of responsibilty for ANY of her actions. Not just Caylee's murder. She still minimizes her pathological lying by calling them 'half-truths' or saying she 'mis-spoke'. Let's call them what they are: LIES. Lots of lies. And, not little white-lies.

GA & CA haven't done their daughter any favors by continuing to enable, minimize, and make excuses for her. Although I don't blame CA for Caylee's demise, I do think her choice to ignore the obvious and refuse to be a responsible parent led to Casey continuing snowball into more tragic crimes. They need to take responsibility for thier failures in parenting just as much as Casey needs to for her actions. It is all about responsibility, to me. And none of them acted responsibly. So, I don't think they recently 'lost their minds'. I think they just never thought it would come to anything so tragic.


I don't know. I am one of the biggest push-overs, empathetic, sympathetic people ever. I defended CA & GA for a long, long time. Dysfunctional to the nth degree, but there are many, many dysfunctional families, so I can forgive that. What I can't forgive or overlook, is their refusal to accept any responsibility for the part they each played.

 

[logicalgirl]

BBM

LG, I agree with almost every word of this and your earlier compassionate, insightful post, except the part I bolded.

I don't think they have recently 'lost their minds' because it is evident (among other things, but especially in the emails between Rick & Shirley and between Rick & Cindy) that they kept denying and lying to protect ICA for a very, very long time. Casey was like a cancer that took over that family and they refused to treat the illness responsibly. We have evidence that they chose to remain in denial about her pregnancy into her 7th month. I've seen the pictures, the pregnancy was obvious - I don't believe CA didn't know....I believe she chose to not face it because it was going to rock her world...the perception she liked to portray to others --- of the ideal Christian family. CA was a nurse...she knew. WTH was she thinking? I have no clue because a 7 month pregnancy is not just going to 'go away'....she knew better, but chose to not deal with it. Same thing about 'not knowing' that Casey didn't work at Universal. I think it would be impossible for a control freak like CA to live in the same house with someone for 2 years and not be aware at some point that she was lying about working there. Honestly, I think CA's photo must appear next to the word DENIAL in the dictionary. I do believe GA tried to face the problems (like going to Sports Authority and confirming that she had no job), but in doing the 'right' thing, he got lambasted by CA..."What are you doing checking up on her? KC is going to be so mad!" HELLO. WTH CARES if she gets mad??? Not, OMG...we have got to address this! Really, CA makes my head hurt even trying to understand her thinking.

I do have empathy for all of them to some extent, however, especially Cindy STILL TO THIS DAY is doing the same thing - making excuses and enabling Casey....even encouraging her to lie....anything EXCEPT encouraging her to accept any sort of responsibilty for ANY of her actions. Not just Caylee's murder. She still minimizes her pathological lying by calling them 'half-truths' or saying she 'mis-spoke'. Let's call them what they are: LIES. Lots of lies. And, not little white-lies.

GA & CA haven't done their daughter any favors by continuing to enable, minimize, and make excuses for her. Although I don't blame CA for Caylee's demise, I do think her choice to ignore the obvious and refuse to be a responsible parent led to Casey continuing snowball into more tragic crimes. They need to take responsibility for thier failures in parenting just as much as Casey needs to for her actions. It is all about responsibility, to me. And none of them acted responsibly. So, I don't think they recently 'lost their minds'. I think they just never thought it would come to anything so tragic.


I don't know. I am one of the biggest push-overs, empathetic, sympathetic people ever. I defended CA & GA for a long, long time. Dysfunctional to the nth degree, but there are many, many dysfunctional families, so I can forgive that. What I can't forgive or overlook, is their refusal to accept any responsibility for the part they each played.

Yes, Beach - I absolutely agree with you. I don't think "forgiveness" has any place in my comments. And I believe any or all of the Anthony's who have had any part of blocking this investigation need to take responsibility for it legally, any way the courts decide.

 

[logicalgirl]

I posted parts of what I think is an insightful article referring to Psychopathic Behavior over in the Defense thread #2.

( I didn't think it was such a bad post that it was immediately closed) But it included a couple of paragraphs about an actual case of someone who sounded an awful lot like ICA. I'm going to bring them over and hope it doesn't shut down this thread

So, while I was poking around "out there" I came across a very interesting article about adult children who kill their parents. In the article, which is quite long but to me very interesting, Dr. Robert Hare, an international expert from the University of British Columbia, has developed an area of study called "Psychopathy" to describe a combination of personality disorders rather than mental illness. The case of Christopher Porco is discussed. A couple of paragraphs jumped out that I believe describes the Anthony household quite closely.

"Ironically, Christopher Porco perceived his parents’ position of being caring and loving as a weakness to be exploited (Hare, 1993). One can observe how Christopher’s destructive behavior accelerated over his life and well into adulthood with escalating family turmoil. Each move that the parents took to discipline Christopher was met with a counter-move by their son. Christopher did not view his parents’ disciplinary actions as gestures of parental love, but as attempts to curtail his self-gratifying, egocentric personality."

"Moreover, even after her son was found guilty of murder, the mother at the sentencing stated, “Please allow Christopher the opportunity to attain freedom in my lifetime. I believe him to be innocent with all my heart. Please give him a chance to use his talents to make a significant contribution to society” (Lyons, 2006a). Unfortunately the mother did not understand that her attempt to bond with her son did not mean that he would reciprocate the bonding, a common misconception parents of psychopathic children harbor."

This from a mother who witnessed her son killing his father and attempting to kill her.

The entire article can be found here:

www.theforensicexaminer.com/archive/fall08/06/

 

[beach]

Yes, Beach - I absolutely agree with you. I don't think "forgiveness" has any place in my comments. And I believe any or all of the Anthony's who have had any part of blocking this investigation need to take responsibility for it legally, any way the courts decide.

Yes, you didn't imply "forgiveness". It is just totally against my nature not to be sympathetic or empathetic. For so long, I defended CA & GA for the very reasons you stated in your earlier, insightful post. And, I took a lot of heat for standing up for them as grieving grandparents gone astray. I WANT to be empathetic so badly, but I find myself at odds because they (especially CA) hasn't changed a whit from what caused this to snowball in the first place.

To this day, although I think there are several things that LE could charge them with, I don't really want them to be charged with anything. I want to say, "Enough. Everyone has suffered enough." However, that too will change if I ever find proof that they knew Caylee's body was lying to rot in the woods right behind their house. Actually, despite my gut feeling (DC, etal) I hope I am wrong about that.

 

[logicalgirl]

Yes, I see you as very much both sympathetic and empathetic and yes, re the "heat" for trying to understand what the heck makes these people, especially Cindy, behave the way she does.

Which is why above I was careful to say "when I dis-engage" or meaning I have to stand a LONG way back and just look at the whole thing as emotionless as I can, to try to come to some sort of observation. I couldn't make my comments without it, because up close, trying to understand it makes me crazy.

 

[RR0004]

IMHO these folk aren't empathetic figures. I can't strip away all the bs to get at who they really are in order to feel sorry for them...and g-d knows I've tried.
On a positive note, I have always hoped that they would find the help to heal and pray that they are on the right path.

 

[ExpectingUnicorns]

Yes, I agree. What I try to do when a situation really disturbs me, is try to strip it down to the bare bones. If I concentrate on the details, it completely blinds me.
And I think depending on how deep the emotional wound, the closer we get to the primal emotions in us.
Have you ever had a beloved pet that has been seriously injured? For example, a dog who has been hit by a car? A dog who has been a member of the family, a gentle loving creature? When you approach this animal, to help save it's life, it will viciously react - with snarling and biting - because it believes you don't understand it's pain and will cause it more pain. That fear blinds any love the animal has for you.

That's how I see the Anthony's. ICA has caused them such terrible pain they simply have lost their minds, and don't realize in the true sense, the harm they are doing.

Thank you, logicalgirl, as this post has helped me find an example of how to express my thoughts.

I posted an answer on this thread over a year ago and have learned much from all of the other posts. I've come to realize that I do have sorrow for all of the Anthonys but it is best described as being on a "global" level rather than an individual level. And it is your example of a dog in pain that I can use to explain.

I have owned and loved many dogs and have tended more than I care to remember that were injured and in pain. Not a single one has ever reacted viciously. So, I know that all dogs do not react that way. I feel sorry for any injured dog but can express my sorrow with greater speed and intensity if that dog is not trying to bite me.

The same with the Anthonys. Even though their camp is trying to bite me even now (as I was involved with the TES search down there) I guess I still feel sorry for them because I hate to see anyone or anything in pain. I just expect more out of people than animals. The Anthonys are capable of rational thought and decision making processes whereas animals are more restricted in those higher functions.

I'm more disappointed in them than sorry for them. But globally thinking, I'm sorry for anyone in any kind of painful position. Maybe I unconsciously connect the degree of my sympathy to the degree of culpability that I assign them. I dunno.

But mostly disappointed; hugely, hugely disappointed.