I think that the oldest child will prove to be key. I home-schooled my children & I cannot imagine that a teenager isn't keen to what has been going on. Kids that are home 24/7 hear, see & process everything around them. Children that are home all of the time witness conversations, changes in behavior & attitudes that parents have towards one another. They aren't dumb.
Also, SM was their sole provider. For as irrational as it seems to us, I believe that TM actually responded in a common way (not murdering, but emotionally). I have seen MANY woman (especially those that stay at home) blame 'the other woman'. Usually the husband gets ZERO blame & often, there is a revival of love between the two. The wife rallies around her husband & wins him back by not making him 'pay' for his transgressions. It is a sad reality, but SAHM (especially those that home educate) feel desperate to keep their families in tact & never blame the husband for cheating but instead blame 'the other woman.'
Of course, these are MOO.