If SM allowed his wife to dictate his life to the point, he slept handcuffed to his bed....and he wasn't allowed to use his cell phone....he has severe emotional issues. Is this an abusive relationship...one where the wife abused her husband and he stayed? I can't get my mind wrapped around their relationship.
I can speak from experience with my sister (who is married to the male version of TM-FTR I hate that guy) that it's just not that easy for them. Yes, all of us on the outside looking in wonder why not leave? You deserve better, why take that kind of treatment? The only way I can describe it is that the weaker of the 2 in the relationship doesn't realize in their mind there is any other option. They literally don't have the mindset or willpower to just leave like "outsiders" think they should. My sister has moments of clarity where she will do something "stupid" like flirt with someone or "defy" him by wearing something he doesn't like to which she pays for her "stupidity" with whatever shaming or punishment he chooses. He has tied her to a tree and put a gun in her mouth after beating her to the point of being black and blue. He picks out her clothes and constantly belittles her while making sure she knows how "lucky" she is to have such a good thing. She stayed with him while he was in jail for 6 years (this would have been a great time to leave IMO) but no, she stayed with him. I pity SM b/c he reminds me of my sister. I know that he is involved in a murder but I also know how much control people like TM have over ppl like SM. He could be a cold blooded killer who is the actual ring leader but IMO I see him as a victim of TM and her psychotic ways. He did and probably does do whatever she makes him do with brief moments of clarity (the affair with HE) along the way.
I am sad that sweet innocent Heather had to cross paths with them and this is the fate she received. I know we all wish we could rewind the clock and warn her. RIP Heather, lead us to your body!
^^^Above respectfully BBM^^^
It is entirely possible for sm to be the victim of abuse, as alleged in court yesterday, and be responsible for Heather's murder. The dynamics of abusive relationships are so complex, and exponentially so when children are involved (generally speaking). Aside from the financial discrepancies, sm lived on the tm's family's land, and I would not be surprised to learn that she controlled the finances as well. This is also a form of DV.
Ultimately, sm is responsible for the decisions he made, and will make moving forward. I hope he realizes this. He can take his power back in the process of Justice for Heather. It has been said in open court that sm cared about Heather (paraphrasing), therefore, now is the time for him to cut his losses and do the right thing.
Every day spent out from under the control of tm is freeing, even if it is behind bars. His attorney is charged with defending only him, and I hope sm gains perspective, and realizes there is honor in revealing all he knows, in order to allow the Elvis' to bring Heather home. The sooner he does this, the better it will be for him in the adjudication process. :moo:
Although he should not receive a reduction in sentencing for doing so, perhaps the Court won't throw the library at him, as I expect they will at tm. This is just my very humble opinion.
And I completely agree, Heather paid a terrible price for crossing paths with these people. If only we could turn back the hands of time.... :'(