His relationship with Lisa was over. He was thrilled at first about Mimi....texts I just read reenforce that, but was never comfortable around her and in any case, Mimi had made it clear she just wanted to be friends, no more, and no possibility of it ever being more.
I think what gets missed in this is just how desperate and afraid Travis felt in his last few months. He says explicitly that he's afraid of losing everything.... his house, his PPL status, and what weighed on him all of the time- his ability to find a wife.
He knew he had to find a wife - for the church - and he wanted to, for the church, but as he and Skye talked about, explicitly, he was terribly afraid of actually committing to anyone, much less entering into a marriage.
From all that I've read, I think Travis had times when he deeply despised himself for what he perceived as character flaws and moral failings. He was his own harshest critic. Thinking the worst of someone else, much less hating them, went against everything he believed in. He considered those feelings a failure.
The killer knew all that about TA, knew his vulnerabilities, and knew how to guilt him into giving her what she wanted. The guilting she mentioned so often didn't come from TA,but from her, as a form of control.
What I'm saying is that I can see her making him feel guilty and bad enough about himself over the things he said to her in the May text that he agreed to let her stop by, and self-loathing enough that she was able to pressure him into having sex.
Sorry, I couldn't shorten my response... oy...
Thing is, despite how humble Travis was and wanted to be, he was surrounded by other Mormons who had advised him to put his foot down with her. I gather that for Travis, sex was the safest he could feel, his friendships weren't going to resolve internalized sense of loss. He lost out on a normal, happy, and healthy childhood. Sure he was a nice person, and the Mormon faith about marriage is strict, but he wanted intimacy. I personally felt that he guilted himself not due to religion, yet due to the understanding there was a general pain he couldn't quite resolve. That psychopath took advantage of this, sure; his job wasn't going to resolve this feeling, his girlfriend wasn't going to resolve it, and he couldn't quite figure out what to do about it. I don't think this had to do with just Arias. His control was already fragile IMO.
Yeah, I think she sized up the fact he didn't trust himself in marital or fatherhood terms. Though I don't think he could have helped it, and he may not have consistently* criticized himself (I don't think self-blame is attributable to just JA). If the physical assault started at an early enough age, the research has been fairly consistent that their overall wiring coincides with long-term effects. It is psychological torture IMO. I'm not a fan of his parents... Two types of therapy are often recommended in that case, medication management for depressive episodes.
I don't think JA's cognition is really that sharp, she's more an abstract thinker; she doesn't have empath superpowers. I just think she's wired like a predator. She started young is all. For her, your body language says it all, and that's it, there's nothing else to your psychological makeup. Her existence lies on picking up on these human attributes. She can mimic people, which just means she pays TOO much unhealthy attention to them and fixates. I think the reason she's disturbing is not because she can accurately identify what makes a person tick (or get ticked off), rather because YOU are the center of her universe and she can make you feel unstable by association. She's a psychopath, people can sense this and develop physical reactions (nervous anxiety, exhaustion, anger, etc etc). She causes fight or flight reaction. Sky noticed it, she felt a sense of dread in her life when JA was around. It just hit Travis a little later...
Persons of battered syndrome however, subconsciously believe anger is bad for them. They associate anger of their abuser, and something that could one day 'infect' them, especially when they want to start a family; anger = "improper" and uncontrollable weakness. It's a rather childish perception about our emotional makeup, but the trauma has stunted their association to anger and their coping mechanisms to it (depends on the individual's experiences and time to get a better grip on it not being permanent). So they inadvertently end up tolerating narcissistic and overly 'charming' personas. A lot of these people end up developing severe problems with managing boundaries. Enter... Jodi Arias.
My point is, Travis passed at age 30. I think he HAD developed MUCH clarity in his last year. He had friends, and all these newer experiences, and women in his life that were telling him how it is. He INVITED those people into his life, he had a better chance to aim higher if he wanted to. I think he hid his inner demons WELL. I think he started to see JA's pity party as is. Otherwise, at least to me, it seems he would not have been more brazen. He was insecure, but again, don't think it was just because of CMJA. I don't think he was 'a hopeless case,' (I'm not saying that you said that btw, Hope4More, just devil's advocate here) if you will.
I had a conservative influence in my upbringing as well. I can recall at least two individuals that have made me feel horrible by association. They seem to have their "prey." It's a stalker personality. The religion also influences your notions about forgiveness and anger towards others. However, I think the word anger is given too much credit, confusion is the main problem. You should take the time necessary to understand what is making you feel the way you do, and realize you need to form friendships more carefully.
I think TA settled some of this (his blog shows signs of this, he had distance from JA now, healthier influences, OTHER things were on his mind). I think he was getting over his guilt (again, he called her a sociopath). He felt miserable because "she was the worst thing in his life", he lost his sense of security and she invaded his privacy to the point of his exhaustion, I think this triggered his evolving position on his guilt/anger in general, especially towards her. I don't think he felt SAFE anymore.
JA wasn't just some random a$$*ole. Things change on a mental level after you have been stalked. Travis didn't seem to even want her as a memory anymore. I don't think having sex with Travis was going to be as easy (people say things all the time when they're feeling down). I'm referring to the comment he made about "taking whatever you want, because you're going to get it anyway." I think he recovered from this, they did have some heavy dilemma before she traveled to him in June. He didn't have a problem turning her down for sex many times from what I've read.
Past that, there are things he's not going to put in a text anymore. But with distance, Travis' supposed infatuation was dead, she knew that. He had more time to ponder "hey, she's a dangerous stalker!", you're less inclined to let that influence back into your life so easily, let alone your bedroom.
Sleeping with someone because they're amoral, yes, a reason to feel disgusted. But sleeping with your stalker, especially after all that time, I'm giving him some credit that whatever we were told about that day, may not be true because it's JA's timeline.. she's a pathological liar! I think she shaped a lot of our media's stance while she lied in court. Her general behavior on stand and her interviews, if taken as is, indicate she got that power because they WERE sleeping together during that time. She was trying to fool us and gain sympathy for her PTSD during this time. So I just don't believe her. What I realized after reading things from other people, is that she always claimed they were dating for a duration a time that was FAR longer than it actually was... I think even if they unfathomably 'slept together' that day, he was forced. And in fear of his life, which shows IMO. THAT is called something else, that is duress! Not sex! That's what I see on his face anyway.
I don't think she had the ability to power play him anymore to the point where sex was an option anymore. I think she knew that too, and that she couldn't hide her excitement over that day, he probably saw it in her eyes, let's face it, she is NOT hard to read. She came in with a weapon, that's duress. I think he did whatever out of fear. Not regret, guilt, because he found her attractive, or whatever.
On a related note: Unfortunately, friends from college, a LOT of these young women, my friends have stories about an ex-boyfriend, who in the midst of their breakup or after BRIEF dating experience, point is... post rejection... were essentially put in a date-rape situation. A) Confrontational discussion about how you could possibly 'reject' them. B) Position yourself physically, namecall, and subject them to fear without necessarily acknowledging that you're scaring them. C) Mentally create an atmosphere so as to justify their anger as the basis for the break-in. Basically putting these young women in a position where they are scared for their lives and out of FEAR, do not call police or for assistance - it is rape, they have no power. It is a control issue and they have some deep resentment for what I guess you could refer to as 'rape-culture.'
