REMORSEFUL? You decide. (CMJA police int)
(referring to Ryan Burns
JA:
and weve been talking a lot. We try not to talk about that (the murder), because its kind of like --- ugghhh
. and plus Travis is my ex boyfriend but at the same time hes my friend, so while Im mourning my friend how do you talk to your new potential, possible, maybe person that you might start dating about your friend even though hes your ex boyfriend. So its kind of a grey area.---------------------
JA: I remember we knelt by his bed once and umm
and
surprisingly, he suggested it. Normally, you know, we would
I would suggest that we pray before we go on a trip or before we would eat, before lunch
DF: It was kind of unusual for him, huh?
JA: Yeah, cos he was very resistant to prayer
-----------------------
JA:
I talked to his Bishop, and his Bishop did say that Travis really took that one hard, and he said he took it to heart and he realizes that its speaking from a Bishops perspective he said its because, you know, Mimi is of a certain caliber when it comes to her spirituality and Travis was just in another place.
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JA: Because I wasnt
I mean I had moved away but I had participated with him in so many things that kept us both down spiritually for a long time. I mean if I had just cut ties completely I could probably be married right now. I could probably be working on my own family
umm
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DF: You were, because thats when the blood was left on
the bloody palm print was left on his wall. I dont know what to tell you. If you were in my shoes and I had this evidence against
against you, what would you say?
JA: If I had that evidence against you?
DF: Yeah!
JA: It would be pretty obvious, but I guess being in my position Id
it just seems so impossible. Id want to see it, Id want to know, I mean
Im not like.. Im not a murderer but I guess if I were to do that Id wear gloves.
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JA: Well, my reputation will affect the rest of my life, so I am worried about my reputation.
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DF: Then what can you tell me about his death?
JA: You know a lot more about it than I do.
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DF: Why do you feel responsible? If you felt responsible it means you know something else.
A: No, because I
DF: It means your actions led to his death.
JA: Because he always has guilted me. He has always guilted me, and, the last time
DF: So you feel
you feel somebody else killed him?
JA: Well, yeah!
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DF: Why is everybody saying that you had something to do with his death? Why is everybody saying that you are capable of hurting him? Everybody says that. So dont tell me that youre not capable.
JA: I dont even hurt spiders
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JA: Oh
I kicked the dog once. I was a freshman in high school, and I love, love, love animals and one
we had this dog. His name was Doggy Boy, and my parents, until this dog that they have now, have never been able to and I dont mean just them, we as a family, have never been able to care for a dog properly as far as give it attention or take it for walks or be consistent. Umm
so this dog stayed in the back yard a lot and stayed tied up on... in the shade.. with plenty of, you know, leeway. At one point, though, he was untied, and I took the trash out and he, and this is when my little brother and sister were still in diapers, and he tore, it was diaper trash. He tore diapers all over the yard, and, of course, I had to clean it up and when diapers get wet and theyre like jelly, spongy weird stuff.
DF: Mm hmm.
JA: and, I just
I got mad and I
I just kicked him with my right foot, and he just moved a few feet, and he didnt yelp or anything, but he just went
he ran away and I never saw him again after that, and
I mean thats probably an anger issue, I guess, but
JA: It changed my world as far as animal treatment goes, because
I just
Ive never seen him since, and I need to apologize for that, to him, I know it sounds weird. My relationship with animals is kinda like, theyre like people, too, you know they have souls.
DF: What you need to do is, you need to apologize to Travis.
---------------
DF: Just what
because I know this thing has to be weighing pretty heavy on you.
JA: Ive been trying to put his death behind me.
-----------
CMJA is crying
.
DF: Jodi, were here now. Were right here.
DF: I think youre feeling the reality in the moment now.
JA: No, Im just
feeling all of the things that Im going to potentially miss out on with my family
and its
its not fair.
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DF: You know the persons family who was hurt, theyre obviously hurting, but theres a second family that hurts as well, and in this case, its your family -- your brothers, your sister, your mom and your dad.
JA: (Unintelligible)
DF: Yeah.
JA: I just wish they wouldnt hurt. It would be so much easier for me
.
-------------------
JA: I know that hes in a good place, and I know that hes fine. I know that hes doing great, but what about all of his friends
all of his family that are here and theyre just going through all this, and I know that its temporary, but its so very much right now.
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DF: Nobody else did this... You were the only one. That is it, and Im not seeing any remorse
JA: Well
(silence).
------------
JA: Im
you know, if I did that, I would
I would be fully ready to face the consequences. Umm
Im not really for things like, you know
Im all for the 10 Commandments, Thou Shalt Not Kill
JA: Umm
you know Ive never been one for an eye for an eye but they took his life, and even the book of Mormon says that
umm
that
that that calls for the life of the person who took his life.
