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Jumping off of your post MidwestMama.. not directing my rant at you. What is a "TRUE dv victim"? Who or what agency determines what a "TRUE" victim is? Not so easy to "get the f out" especially if a woman was raised to be a wife/mother in a patriarchial religion..or born in 1956 like I was or a woman who has no support from friends or family and there are a lot of women out there that have zero support. I cringe at the word "true" for anything. I was raised in the most "true" religion in the USA. (Not in my opinon) I am a fan of documenting everything..
After documenting some of the happier times in my childhood earlier, I will give you the bigger picture. My step-father was an abusive, raging alcoholic. The years he was there were a horror show. Drunken rages, guns in his hands, pointed at his wife, his children, and so much worse that I will not post here.
My mom and everyone of my siblings - yeah, true DV victims. It was also in the 60's and early 70's and by the time the county sheriff made it way out to where we were the damage was done and he was off on another bender. All the havoc he created he was only arrested once, and that was in a public bar because he caused a fight. Police were different then... oh, we will just get him to leave.... oh, you guys can work this out.... etc. Thank God that is different now!
No doubt I understand it isn't easy to get out. Seven kids (at the time) and a part-time waitress - yeah my mom couldn't just get the f out. She had to make a plan, be smart, trust the right people and try to protect herself and her seven children in the meantime.
I don't disagree with documenting. Smart choice, has helped many prove the truth later on. However, no victim of domestic violence that I have met would ever say documentation is the MOST important thing. They would all say SAFETY is most important! If you can't leave, then begin trying to figure out a safe plan for escape. Documentation is great but it does absolutely no good if you or your kids are dead.
My comments about TRUE dv victim were aimed at the fact that I think JA is a lying sack of dung trying to malign Travis' reputation and save her own sorry skin by falsely crying she is a victim of dv. You may think she is a true victim, that's fair, but I don't. As someone who has been through it, it really infuriates me that she feels free to "use" the very real issue of dv to try to save her sorry butt. She is certainly not helping those with dv in their lives and in fact, IMO, is just makes it harder for those living through it.
Who determines True victims? I guess we all have to make determinations of what we believe or don't believe. I can say that I have NEVER doubted anyone I have known in my "real life" that has said there was dv in their life. (It seems an inordinate amount of people in my life have had dv. Maybe we somehow see that in each other and are drawn together? Or maybe most people know this many dv survivors?) My comment referring to TRUE victims was in regard to her. With all JA has been PROVEN to be lying about, and all the other "characteristics" of JA that we have been exposed to, I won't lose a moments sleep being concerned about being wrong about her supposed dv experiences. Utter carp and it ticks me off.
I am sorry if you suffered from domestic abuse in your life also. It is a horrible thing to live through. Truly indescribable to those who haven't dealt with it. Hoping you have found some peace in your life.
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