SIDEBAR #50 - Arias/Alexander forum

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coffeejunkie, living with an alcoholic is so difficult and so tragic...my father was a mean, abusive drunk. A tyrant, really. So you have plenty of sympathy; have been there, done that. Strength, my friend! And you already know you have devoted friends on the Sidebar, always ready to prop you up. What great peeps. :therethere::heartbeat:
 

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As a Mother we want the best for our children..my heart is breaking right now. Our oldest son is an alcoholic and he has been sober for a few years now. He started drinking again and is in a bad way. He is in the hospital because he is diabetic and his sugar levels were 800 and sober him up. I am praying that we will go back to Rehab and start all over again. I should have know a few weeks ago something was not right :( He stopped smoking... We he drinks he doesn't smoke and when we smokes he doesn't drink. Why didn't I see this coming?

This is not the first time we have been down this road with him...sigh; we were so happy when he stayed sober so long this time...

Need prayer for my son, my husband, and myself. Why do I feel I am tooooo old go through this again?! I tired and weary is all....

So sorry to hear this. We are praying for you, your family, and your son.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you have been there/done that, so you probably know all the advice any of us could suggest. Sometimes just being supportive is all you can do and we know its very painful to feel so helpless.

I can relate right now because I have a VERY CLOSE relative who is a current active alcoholic and drug addict to boot. My relative is so bad off that he takes whatever pills he can so long as they give him some effect. It doesnt matter what effect so long as it is something he can get his hands on and he will eat them like candy. That is when I realized how bad off he was. His fall back is alcholol and he was in rehab and was doing well but it didnt last long after he got out.

Its a vicious cycle and its taken a terrible toll on a lot of my family members, especially my Mom. So I can relate. I try to tell her to try not to put so much of it on her shoulders and she is getting better at that, although its tough like you say. The pain of seeing it happen to a loved one is very tough.

We always want to "fix things". Sometimes, there just is only so much we can do and our hope is that the person will want to someday fix themselves (again).
Until then we are being supportive and we are learning how to try not to let it devour others in the family. Its rough as you know.

Prayers for you and your family.
 
So many kind and wonderful responses. It is like having my own Al-Anon family right here. You peeps are the best!
Hatfield, your last few sentences in particular really spoke to me. So true.

:grouphug:
 
This may sound crazy to some, but I think a possible future "miracle drug" or "treatment" that may help some addicts, alcoholics, depression, and even post traumatic stress disorder is going to be Marijuana.

The reason I am thinking it may be good for some alcoholics and/or addicts is that some people can "replace" their addiction with an alternative. If that alternative is not so destructive, then it may become a good alternative treatment.

We kind of see that already with some narcotics addicts treatments that are really alternatives like Suboxone.

I think in the next 10 or so years, perhaps MJ can become a good and less destructive treatment for alcholics and addicts. Not all, but perhaps a large enough number to make it a viable treatment.
 
Hey everyone, Good morning :) On April 24 we measured my puppy Benji, and then again on May 10th, he grew 2 inches. Holy moly, I think I may have a Marmaduke LOL . He’s such a sweet little guy. He now knows sit, stay, and he rarely nips at my ankles. He gets so excited when I come home, after I great him I tell him to sit, he’s so funny, he’s all over the place but he is sitting, so I’m trying to calm him down by rubbing his ears, and petting him, he likes to jump up, I don’t know if I’m just confusing him or if he understands. It takes a very long time to do this. If someone has some advice on how to handle this, my concern is Benji is going to be big, a lot bigger than I thought. Since we love him so much already he’s not going anywhere. I am remembering all of you in my prayers. Sometimes it’s so hard being a Mom, no matter how old our kids get we still worry about them. God bless you all.
 
Yikes! That sounds horrible! You did not get hurt from that, did you? Things like this probably never leave your mind --- get you can still recall how it felt. Ours was a tiny blip compared to that.



Prayers coming, coffee. I am so sorry to hear this.






OMG! Why does she get the breaks? Thanks for this.

The same States Appeals attorney (equivalent to Juan) that represented the STATE against Cindy's murderers is the same one standing up for the STATE against Arias. That makes me feel good as the convictions held.
 
:therethere: Coffeejunkie, I have gone down that same path with my son for over 20 years now. At least 3 inpatient programs, sober for a year or so max. It just does not get easier on the mother's heart. Do your best to not let this affect your own health. I am here for you, as are all of us. Feel free to contact me if you need extra support. No answers, just good at sharing and loving.

:grouphug:

Me too with my son, who is now over 2 1/2 years sober. Anything I can do to help as well. Sending love and light your way.
 
Who, who ? What's going on? I hope it wasn't me....

Never you! Or anyone here at the moment lol. It just gets old when posters get nasty, always having to be right.
 
So many kind and wonderful responses. It is like having my own Al-Anon family right here. You peeps are the best!
Hatfield, your last few sentences in particular really spoke to me. So true.

:grouphug:

AMEN to that !!! :grouphug:
 
Me too with my son, who is now over 2 1/2 years sober. Anything I can do to help as well. Sending love and light your way.

Thanks for sharing your son's. Good for him on 2 1/2 years of sobriety :) You must be a proud Momma!

Seems like this illness is spread far and wide and no one is immune from it :(
 
This may sound crazy to some, but I think a possible future "miracle drug" or "treatment" that may help some addicts, alcoholics, depression, and even post traumatic stress disorder is going to be Marijuana.

The reason I am thinking it may be good for some alcoholics and/or addicts is that some people can "replace" their addiction with an alternative. If that alternative is not so destructive, then it may become a good alternative treatment.

We kind of see that already with some narcotics addicts treatments that are really alternatives like Suboxone.

I think in the next 10 or so years, perhaps MJ can become a good and less destructive treatment for alcholics and addicts. Not all, but perhaps a large enough number to make it a viable treatment.

I'll throw my hat in that ring too, Hatfield.

Suboxone has a terrible abuse record in the US, and Dr.s don't give it out lightly, even though there are responsible patients out there that just want to feel "normal", like those dealing with chronic depression.

The biggest road block for MJ is Big Pharma as far as Nation Wide legislation. All of the "chemicals" they push with their often terrible side effects make them a huge amount of money.

Oxy in any form is another devastating drug that has been proven to push people for a cheaper substitute, heroin. Oxy's increased dosages cause "phantom pain", causing the patient to get their docs to prescribe more.

We can thank the war in the Middle East for that, the biggest opium harvests on record, ever, because deals made with the US military and Afghanistan opium Warlords. And the demand pushed Mexico into more opium cultivation, along with countries in South America.

The irony is that the Taliban and IS are funding their stupid insanity with opium and heroin, not only from Afghanistan, but South America via Africa, and creating a whole new group of addicts in the African States where their "Drug Highway" goes through. Iraq now has a considerable amount of heroin addicts that was almost unheard of during Saddam's reign.

Spellbound: I feel your pain. You have choices only you can make.
I was a "fixer". I tried everything with both ex husbands and my daughter. I had to let it go. I couldn't change anyone and had to reclaim my life. I just couldn't do it anymore. Call me a coward, selfish, or whatever. You hear "Let go and Let God"............well, it is what it is.

Whatever you do, just make sure your well being and your health comes first. You've been down this road before. Don't let it destroy you. Bottom line, only your son can change himself.

I changed for myself when I was about 25. I had done enough drugs and alcohol for 3 lifetimes. I started as self medicating at 12: whatcha going to do when your grandpa molests you from the earliest age you remember and nobody gives a flip? Then it's all about dealing with the garbage you were "stuffing" after you get sober.

But I'm still here, almost 30 years later...........because I didn't want to die. At times it's been extremely hard, and, no, I don't and won't ever go back to using and abusing because it serves no purpose. My demons are out of the box, I can take them on mano e mano, or just chillax and ride it out.

No one was there to help me, pick me up, guide me in a direction, it was all just self survival.

I had to make that choice.
I hope your son makes that choice. Life can be so extraordinary being sober, if he just has the courage to accept the good and the bad, the challenges and the unexpected triumphs.

Never, ever blame yourself or get into the "could have, should have, would have". You can't change the past. What matters is the here and now.

You've got my ear and shoulder if you ever need one.
 
This may sound crazy to some, but I think a possible future "miracle drug" or "treatment" that may help some addicts, alcoholics, depression, and even post traumatic stress disorder is going to be Marijuana.

The reason I am thinking it may be good for some alcoholics and/or addicts is that some people can "replace" their addiction with an alternative. If that alternative is not so destructive, then it may become a good alternative treatment.

We kind of see that already with some narcotics addicts treatments that are really alternatives like Suboxone.

I think in the next 10 or so years, perhaps MJ can become a good and less destructive treatment for alcholics and addicts. Not all, but perhaps a large enough number to make it a viable treatment.

No not crazy...I have school friends that were in the Viet Nam War and was exposed to Agent Orange. and I see the damage it has caused to these people. I know of 3 that are using MJ. They say it makes their lives bearable, they are in tremendous pain 24/7. 1 has cancer , the other many medical problems, and one lady has had over 14 operations for various bone/joint problems (she lives in AZ). She was here about a month or so visiting her mother, since the mom just lived a few blocks from me, I went and visited with her. Some days she can barley walk. She makes no bones about smoking MJ as her drug of choice! Says it does her more good than the strongest pain pills she takes.
 
Hey everyone, Good morning :) On April 24 we measured my puppy Benji, and then again on May 10th, he grew 2 inches. Holy moly, I think I may have a Marmaduke LOL . He’s such a sweet little guy. He now knows sit, stay, and he rarely nips at my ankles. He gets so excited when I come home, after I great him I tell him to sit, he’s so funny, he’s all over the place but he is sitting, so I’m trying to calm him down by rubbing his ears, and petting him, he likes to jump up, I don’t know if I’m just confusing him or if he understands. It takes a very long time to do this. If someone has some advice on how to handle this, my concern is Benji is going to be big, a lot bigger than I thought. Since we love him so much already he’s not going anywhere. I am remembering all of you in my prayers. Sometimes it’s so hard being a Mom, no matter how old our kids get we still worry about them. God bless you all.

When Benji jumps up, bring your knee up so he lands on it on the way down or is obstructed, and say "down". Don't do a hard knee in the chest, just make it known that jumping up has a consequence of not being too comfortable.
The biggest thing is making it consistent.
 
Image2.jpg

Above is the two bird nests that I have access to. You can see on the left that the eggs are bright, healthy and a good size. While the eggs on the right are very small, pale in color. Plus the nest is built different than the robin's nest. It's deeper, bigger and has mud all around the top. This nest is what the dead baby bird was in.

So was wondering...maybe, another type bird built the nest, laid one egg, the egg hatched, but it died. Momma deserted the nest and a robin took the nest and laid the two tiny eggs in it and they were not fertilized? JMO :)
 
Bernina

I'm so sorry what you dealt with as a child and through your teens and younger adult years. Very happy you over came your issues. You got STRONG and didn't look back...GOOD FOR YOU!!!

((((HUGS))))
 
coffeejunkie, living with an alcoholic is so difficult and so tragic...my father was a mean, abusive drunk. A tyrant, really. So you have plenty of sympathy; have been there, done that. Strength, my friend! And you already know you have devoted friends on the Sidebar, always ready to prop you up. What great peeps. :therethere::heartbeat:


:blowkiss:
 
View attachment 74678

Above is the two bird nests that I have access to. You can see on the left that the eggs are bright, healthy and a good size. While the eggs on the right are very small, pale in color. Plus the nest is built different than the robin's nest. It's deeper, bigger and has mud all around the top. This nest is what the dead baby bird was in.

So was wondering...maybe, another type bird built the nest, laid one egg, the egg hatched, but it died. Momma deserted the nest and a robin took the nest and laid the two tiny eggs in it and they were not fertilized? JMO :)

Egg shell coloring can deviate a bit depending on what the birds eat. The eggs will get a bit glossier/darker as they are set on, oils from the feathers of the parents.

There are birds that are "brood parasites" that lay in other bird's nests. I can think of cuckoos and cowbirds. But they basically lay an egg in another bird's nest and leave, kind of like leaving a baby at the church steps. The host bird usually will not know the difference, the parasite usually has an egg similar in "color/pattern" although the size is usually different. Many times the host bird will feed the parasite bird more than it's own because it quickly becomes bigger and more vocal, many times pushing the host bird's babies out of the nest.......AURGH!

The robins might have used the nest as a "decoy" nest. I'm wondering who was the builder of the original mud sided nest?
 
Bernina, can I adopt you? You are one of the wisest women I have ever known. I left an alcoholic marriage when I realized it was destroying my health. Had to let son make all his own mistakes before he wised up. There has been much improvement in his responsibility toward having a job and home. He knows he cannot have a driver's license without horrible consequences, so he chooses to not have one. It is hard to sit back and see the drunken moments, but mostly he knows to not come around me then.

Putting myself first has always been hard, but I try, and most often succeed. Hubby is a huge support for that!


That was a good suggestion for teaching a dog to stay down with your knee pulled up a bit. Another is to turn your back and not pay attention to the pup until he is calm. With one of ours, I have to repeatedly tell her to sit, and do not let until she is (a wiggly sit, for sure, but it counts). I got a bag of teeny little treats that I spend time with ---- when she obeys a command, I toss one to her. She is great at catching them in the air. Fun for both of us --- really makes me laugh out loud!
 
Found this: http://northernwoodlands.org/articles/article/which-bird-made-that-nest

I guess Robins will use mud!

robin1_w2.jpg


And another pretty cool site: http://nestwatch.org/learn/how-to-nestwatch/identifying-nests-and-eggs/
 
Hey everyone!
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coffeejunkie :grouphug:

Another beautiful day in the neighborhood!!
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I'm "thinking" of doing some
cleaning-smiley.gif
, but we have no guests coming, so the Huz said - "why" LOL! And I really should do some dusting... I'll think about it! :lol:

I've had to go out TWICE from Websleuths - really hanging up today!!??! :gaah: :pcguru:

Hopefully this will post...

Just checking in...
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to see what you all are up to! To you who need prayers and good thoughts!
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and
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and
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Okay - off to the Boston bomber thread...

:seeya:
 
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