Respectfully and imho, you've chosen the hard road which is difficult but I'm sure you're okay with it. I hope that you will make a different decision when this same "challenge" comes your way again (as they often do). Sometimes the wolf comes back wearing a different fur, iykwim? Keep your truthfulness, ditch any moneygrubbers, and make things easier for you and your kids. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish. It's ok.
Best wishes.
eace:
Thank you!
Actually, thanks to MSM & WS (plus my own personal experiences which I won't delve into) -- I will NEVER remarry or have an "exclusive" relationship with anyone who will threaten my relationship with my children.
I've lived a sad story.
I've read too many sad stories.
Too many women think that if they love a man enough they can "change" him.
Not me -- I know the truth and I'm scared to death.
I'm actually in a "somewhat meaningful-yet-casual relationship".... he and I have both discussed how much we wish we could share "daily life" -- and he has mentioned it more than once -- he's the kind of man I've dreamed of...
BUT
I refuse -- I'm too afraid; I can't take the risk -- I'm too afraid that I won't "see" something about him that could hurt my children -- no way, no how...
He knows little about my kids and they've never met -- they know NOTHING about him...
The way I see it -- there are several opportunities to "connect" with people/lovers in a lifetime.
You get ONE chance with your kids.
I picked, married, and breeded with someone I believed in and we ended up divorcing.
No way I'll make my kids live with someone who is not their father...
That's just me, and some might think I'm extreme or limiting myself, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.. jmo.