Found Deceased Spain - Esther Dingley, from UK, missing in the Pyrenees, November 2020 #4

[CoverMeCagney]

Could it have been an Airbnb rental or something of that sort that would cost them money? Have we been able to find documentation that they paid no rent?

I live in a rural area that was inundated by “refugees” from major cities during this pandemic. No one was giving free rent when there were so many people trying to be accommodated. Would it have been different in that part of France?

From what we know of them I think it’s unlikely they’ve paid much (if anything) to stay there, when they could frugal it out in the van instead. There are even house sitting sites where you can get paid to house sit, because that is cheaper and easier for the owner who could be in another country.

 

[stmarysmead]

It’s a very bizarre mindset but I do know people like that. For example, a businesswoman who owns a huge amount of property, goes on expensive vacations, but always insists on taking a doggie bag home from dinner and also complains to suppliers she can’t afford to pay the going rate. It comes across as Scrooge-like. However, in ED’s case, to me it sounds more like a lack of forward planning re rations, or an indication of gradually running out of funds...


Even the thought of living like that makes my stomach churn... humiliating

And once again, time after time, other people’s generosity bails them out.

 

[otto]

Even the thought of living like that makes my stomach churn... humiliating

It does show a pattern where people were kind to them during emergencies, and it sounds like relying on the kindness of others became part of their travel plans.

 

[otto]

It’s a very bizarre mindset but I do know people like that. For example, a businesswoman who owns a huge amount of property, goes on expensive vacations, but always insists on taking a doggie bag home from dinner and also complains to suppliers she can’t afford to pay the going rate. It comes across as Scrooge-like. However, in ED’s case, to me it sounds more like a lack of forward planning re rations, or an indication of gradually running out of funds...

There's nothing wrong with being frugal, but it is outside of social norms to repeatedly ask strangers to share food and power supplies.

 

[Onlinesleuth]

The thing that makes me feel they may have had some financial issues is that when DC advertises the books on Facebook he does encourage people / family to buy them as it 'will help them out' or words to that effect. It did read like a bit of a plea!

Not the most rewarding of marketing strategies...

 

[stmarysmead]

Would there be any legal or financial consequences (like for the cost of the multinational search parties) if Esther should return from a voluntary disappearance? I’m curious as to there would be anything that might frighten her from reappearing?

 

[Inverloch]

It does show a pattern where people were kind to them during emergencies, and it sounds like relying on the kindness of others became part of their travel plans.

OT but I know someone very much like this. Quite the adventurer, he rode his bicycle halfway around the world, backpacked throughout Russia and India etc. Forever exploiting the kindness of strangers for free food, a place to sleep and shower etc.
On one occasion, he spent 4 weeks traveling around Japan, a place where strangers can be famously generous - perhaps to a fault - and when he returned, he actually boasted that he had more money than he'd left with!

He said that he'd hitchhiked everywhere and that people had gladly given him lifts - one on occasion driving him to a ski resort 2 hours in the opposite direction from where they'd been headed. And several Japanese, seeing him with his backpack and modest travel clothing, assumed he was poor and offered him money... and he took it! He is actually very wealthy but seems to regard it as something of a game to avoid spending money.

People like this seem to forget that the resources they wangle still have to come from somewhere - there's no such thing as a 'free lunch' - someone else is paying the price. It infuriates me.

 

[Onlinesleuth]

Would there be any legal or financial consequences (like for the cost of the multinational search parties) if Esther should return from a voluntary disappearance? I’m curious as to there would be anything that might frighten her from reappearing?

I don’t think ED would have to pay any penalties but I also really don’t think it was in her mindset or within her financial means to disappear... if you had to place a bet on it, knowing everything we do know about the couple (as fact), how much would you put down on that idea?

 

[stmarysmead]

I don’t think ED would have to pay any penalties but I also really don’t think it was in her mindset or within her financial means to disappear... if you had to place a bet on it, knowing everything we do know about the couple (as fact), how much would you put down on that idea?

My opinion of Esther has changed a great deal. I give the idea a much higher probability today because of that change.

 

[jsoap]

Goodness me, Christmas expense is not something that would figure.

 

[ZaZara]

Goodness me, Christmas expense is not something that would figure.

Indeed. A vegan couple in a gîte deep down in the French countryside during a lockdown and other restrictions due to a pandemic could pass days, even weeks, without being aware that it was Christmas time.

 

[Onlinesleuth]

Goodness me, Christmas expense is not something that would figure.

Why not?

It may well have been an issue if they were having financial problems and also personal/relationship issues between them... even the most stable couples often find Christmastime a pressure. I think the combination of concerns over Brexit, Covid, Christmas expenses, their health issues, being broke, etc, etc, etc, could easily have pushed either one of them over the edge. Pun not intended.

 

[Onlinesleuth]

Indeed. A vegan couple in a gîte deep down in the French countryside during a lockdown and other restrictions due to a pandemic could pass days, even weeks, without being aware that it was Christmas time.

Butttt.... they were already posting about Christmas gifts for the dogs and saying this trip would be their last before returning to the UK... which would have meant they’d be spending Christmas in the UK. So, it was already in their mind.

 

[Onlinesleuth]

My opinion of Esther has changed a great deal. I give the idea a much higher probability today because of that change.

She didn’t have the financial means to disappear and set up a new life for herself. Her bank accounts haven’t been touched, she didn’t withdraw any large sums in the preceding months, she didn’t mention anything on that theme to parents, relatives or friends. So I believe that’s been discounted because it’s not feasible.

 

[PeggyHenry]

My opinion of Esther has changed a great deal. I give the idea a much higher probability today because of that change.

My opinion of Esther has changed a great deal. I give the idea a much higher probability today because of that change.

Initially, when I first watched the Esther and Dan videos, I found both of them quite irritating characters, quite like the adult children in Haribo adverts.
I then grew to find them quite endearing, especially in the video where Esther slides down those pipes in the darkness!
Since then, I feel I’ve been taken on a journey the more I’ve read and listened to others’ interpretations and views. From feeling I really had got to know Esther quite well, I now find I really don’t know her at all or what she might be capable of ( in terms of her disappearance).
I still find them childlike and as someone mentioned earlier, as we all have ‘rich’ lives through our responsibilities, social activities, communities, families etc, their lives for the last 6 years or more have been more or less lived to please themselves. Living in a community, a lot of us have to ‘give back’ to our communities to help the community function well. There’s a lot of give and take involved. They seem to feel they have a right to take! That could be an unfair conclusion but .... that’s how it seems.
They give conflicting accounts of their relationship. Is Esther a sweet sensitive soul who struggles with the harsh reality of daily life? Or is she relentless and capable and determined to get to a place in which she feels content? Today I’m not sure

 

[Onlinesleuth]

Initially, when I first watched the Esther and Dan videos, I found both of them quite irritating characters, quite like the adult children in Haribo adverts.
I then grew to find them quite endearing, especially in the video where Esther slides down those pipes in the darkness!
Since then, I feel I’ve been taken on a journey the more I’ve read and listened to others’ interpretations and views. From feeling I really had got to know Esther quite well, I now find I really don’t know her at all or what she might be capable of ( in terms of her disappearance).
I still find them childlike and as someone mentioned earlier, as we all have ‘rich’ lives through our responsibilities, social activities, communities, families etc, their lives for the last 6 years or more have been more or less lived to please themselves. Living in a community, a lot of us have to ‘give back’ to our communities to help the community function well. There’s a lot of give and take involved. They seem to feel they have a right to take! That could be an unfair conclusion but .... that’s how it seems.
They give conflicting accounts of their relationship. Is Esther a sweet sensitive soul who struggles with the harsh reality of daily life? Or is she relentless and capable and determined to get to a place in which she feels content? Today I’m not sure

Initially, when I first watched the Esther and Dan videos, I found both of them quite irritating characters, quite like the adult children in Haribo adverts.
I then grew to find them quite endearing, especially in the video where Esther slides down those pipes in the darkness!
Since then, I feel I’ve been taken on a journey the more I’ve read and listened to others’ interpretations and views. From feeling I really had got to know Esther quite well, I now find I really don’t know her at all or what she might be capable of ( in terms of her disappearance).
I still find them childlike and as someone mentioned earlier, as we all have ‘rich’ lives through our responsibilities, social activities, communities, families etc, their lives for the last 6 years or more have been more or less lived to please themselves. Living in a community, a lot of us have to ‘give back’ to our communities to help the community function well. There’s a lot of give and take involved. They seem to feel they have a right to take! That could be an unfair conclusion but .... that’s how it seems.
They give conflicting accounts of their relationship. Is Esther a sweet sensitive soul who struggles with the harsh reality of daily life? Or is she relentless and capable and determined to get to a place in which she feels content? Today I’m not sure

 

[ZaZara]

I stand corrected:

Christmas Homesickness and Happiness - Perspectives From Our Second Year on the Road | Esther & Dan - Adventuring Together - Life, Love, Health & Travel

As we strolled along the beach today it suddenly struck us that in addition to being a wonderful family time of year, full of love and laughter, Christmas in our old lives had also always been about doing everything to extremes. There was always extra food, extra TV, extra things, extra time together. It didn't really matter what we were having extra of, the point was that there was more of it than normal. I suppose it is exactly this idea that has always been the essence of marketing around any special occasion; the message that more is better and the man-made illusion of scarcity ("but you can only buy mince pies at Christmas....") that leads to overconsumption even though Christmas in the UK seems to start in October and the food is basically the same stuff in different shapes and packaging.

.....

And so, as the sun sets on Christmas Eve and we start to make our usual dinner, the same one we love and enjoy most days and will probably have a variation of tomorrow as well we feel much more calm and at peace. We will still be lighting our few Christmas candles and preparing to open our handful of gifts collected during our recent family visit tomorrow as usual. But mostly we want to focus this year not on what we are doing for ourselves but instead make the resolution to see what we can do for others, not just at Christmas, but in the year to come as well.

BBM

 

[patCee]

'They have never really had a plan but instead have just been "searching for a feeling", Dan says.' BBM

'They might currently be in separate countries but they are of one mind when asked what they plan to do next.' BBM

"We haven't got a clue," Dan smiles, and Esther nods enthusiastically. BBM

Van life: Durham couple's six years on the road (and counting)
22/11/20

Interesting that it's Dan who makes the above comments during their BBC interview. The person who has done the work on promoting their travels and dogs, and who we are led to believe wants to do less travelling and settle down. ED has reached the end of the road on this adventure due to weather conditions.
Nothing is known of ED from the above day.

A route was recommended to her by the 'mystery hiker', and one she described as her plan to various hikers and to DC. If she began to follow that route, the point where ED possibly disappeared is believed to be within a relatively small area with no cell phone connection. Supported by there being no cell communication from the evening of the 22nd.

We're not sure of the terms regarding their French accommodation.
How long they can stay there?

They have described starting their travels with savings in addition to the income from their flat.
Have they depleted those during the 6 years they have been on the road?

There are many things we do not know here, but something doesn't sit right with 2 highly intelligent adults literally drifting through their lives, always smiling broadly to the camera in the numerous photos. Whilst by their own account relying on others to rescue them from various difficulties they experienced, searching for feelings and haven't a clue what's next.
I find it difficult to believe that it's all OK really.

 

[stmarysmead]

They give conflicting accounts of their relationship. Is Esther a sweet sensitive soul who struggles with the harsh reality of daily life? Or is she relentless and capable and determined to get to a place in which she feels content? Today I’m not sure

BBM: I thought I had remembered something about "Dan being the driver", but reading through the blog, etc., one gets the impression that Esther can be extremely driven and goal oriented. The story about Dan being terribly hungry one day but Esther continuing to push on throughout the entire day without stopping so that he could get something to eat left me dumbfounded.

Neither of these two has extra body weight, and Dan has a long history of very serious, even life-threatening, stomach/intestinal issues, with which he apparently still struggles with every day. Yet Esther pushed them on, all day, ignoring Dan's discomfort. Weird. She seems very single minded in achieving whatever it is that she wants.

This was the first revelation that gave me pause.

 

[Seni]

Would there be any legal or financial consequences (like for the cost of the multinational search parties) if Esther should return from a voluntary disappearance? I’m curious as to there would be anything that might frighten her from reappearing?

Wasting police/public authority time?