Found Deceased Spain - Esther Dingley, from UK, missing in the Pyrenees, November 2020 #4

[RickshawFan]

And so, as the sun sets on Christmas Eve and we start to make our usual dinner, the same one we love and enjoy most days and will probably have a variation of tomorrow as well we feel much more calm and at peace. We will still be lighting our few Christmas candles and preparing to open our handful of gifts collected during our recent family visit tomorrow as usual. But mostly we want to focus this year not on what we are doing for ourselves but instead make the resolution to see what we can do for others, not just at Christmas, but in the year to come as well.

BBM

Snipped for focus

How did they follow up on their resolution? Just curious.

 

[Inverloch]

'They have never really had a plan but instead have just been "searching for a feeling", Dan says.' BBM

'They might currently be in separate countries but they are of one mind when asked what they plan to do next.' BBM

"We haven't got a clue," Dan smiles, and Esther nods enthusiastically. BBM

Van life: Durham couple's six years on the road (and counting)
22/11/20

Interesting that it's Dan who makes the above comments during their BBC interview. The person who has done the work on promoting their travels and dogs, and who we are led to believe wants to do less travelling and settle down. ED has reached the end of the road on this adventure due to weather conditions.

I really don't think enough has been made of the fact that Esther disappeared almost immediately after this article was published by the BBC. I struggle to believe that it's a mere coincidence.

 

[PeggyHenry]

I really don't think enough has been made of the fact that Esther disappeared almost immediately after this article was published by the BBC. I struggle to believe that it's a mere coincidence.

Yes, I feel the same, but haven’t been able to come up with reasons why !
Unless perhaps it made her angry that Dc had allowed it to be published at that particular time and she retaliated.
Not sure exactly what I’m in implying here!

I read that one night Esther and DC argued so much and so loudly in their camper van that they had to apologise to neighbouring van owners the next day . Not criticising as we can all argue and tempers can flare.. but we have to acknowledge that things can happen!

 

[jsoap]

I really don't think enough has been made of the fact that Esther disappeared almost immediately after this article was published by the BBC. I struggle to believe that it's a mere coincidence.

Referring back to the dossier that Dan created, I would have expected some reference to the BBC publication in the exchange's at the Pic on the 22nd.

 

[stmarysmead]

IMO the date of her disappearance and the date of the BBC article’s publication is probably the oddest coincidence of all. Too odd, for my taste.

In the first place, Dan must have been given some advance notice of when that article would run. For years I did charity work and we always knew the date a piece on our work would be published. This should have been a celebratory day in their lives. Much to talk about! Maybe even worth coming out of the mountains for and heading home....

I have found another article that I hadn’t seen before that had a few quotes that were of interest. It was an interview from this April...they were really getting...or seeking IDK publicity this year.

Here are some snippets:
https://www.wadham.ox.ac.uk/news/2020/april/choosing-adventure
Choosing adventure


1. ‘Did you set out straight after graduation?

7
No. Esther wanted to, but I (Dan) thought it was too reckless at the time. I refused to consider it and insisted on doing a PhD, getting a job etc. The idea of travelling was too far out of my comfort zone. It was my good fortune that Esther stayed with me, though I didn’t fully realise it at the time. I thought I was being “the sensible one”.

This is different from the dramatic explanation of the near-death experience being their motivation. Esther wanted to start this life right after graduation.



2. ‘We were in our early thirties when we left. On the one hand, we regret not going straight away. On the other hand, it meant we had more resources behind us and more life experience. We’d packed a lot into the decade after Wadham. Postgraduate degrees, acadeomic jobs, a start-up business, house moves, and all of the other usual things. *We’d been considering a career break anyway when Dan got sick, his illness just motivated us to expand things a little.*



3. Were friends and family encouraging (or not)?


Yes they were, though we initially told everyone we were going for a year. We always knew we wanted it to be for longer. *Some people still ask us when we’re coming home, but “home” has become a very loose concept the more time we’ve spent as nomads.*


I’m not saying we’ll do this forever. The truth is, we just don’t know. We used to have a plan and now we don’t. Who knows what we’ll be doing this time next year?



4. How do you fund your adventures?


A combination of savings, rental income from our house in the UK, and jobs we pick up on the road. We’ve also written some books.
Sni-

Life on the road can be very inexpensive. We were very nervous about our futures and career prospects when we first started out, and we tried to keep various options open. Now we’ve accepted that we just need to live for the moment a little more and let the future take care of itself. *I appreciate that sounds very reckless to some people. I know it would have done to me a few years ago, but it’s something we’re comfortable with now. *


Maybe that will change?



And this:


How are you coping with the current pandemic?


We were in Spain but dashed to France to avoid the lock down there only to find Macron announcing a similar series of restrictions. On the plus side, the French restrictions allow us to go jogging at least and we also have a friend who is letting us stay at his house in the Gers Department. In return for paying the bills we are at least not restricted to a motorhome for the time being. We love van life but the key ingredient is the fact it moves, which isn't really possible right now.

 

[stmarysmead]

Here is my speculation and opinion on some of what interested me in that article:

They were not living for free in the farmhouse during lockdown...no, they were living there ‘in return for paying bills.” At this time, they start to curiously get interviews. They have no large following on FB or Instagram. They are virtually unknowns. IMO they are seeking publicity to sell books to help pay the bills. IMO, this is Dan’s idea, as he seems the practical one.

Perhaps Esther was on board. Perhaps not.

Does anyone remember what we have been told about Esther’s work history after college. Did she actually have a high powered, high paying job...or was she working as some sort of physical trainer? Did they have a business that failed? If so, was that it? It’s a little poignant that Dan says it’s ‘his good fortune” that she stayed with him when he insisted on being practical.

My question...was she willing to stay with him IF and when he had to get practical again? Speculation, of course/

In any event, Dan seems to say she wanted to start this lifestyle right after college. And it wasn’t the near death experience that began the planning to begin the nomadic lifestyle...a “career break” was already “being considrred.”

So they knew they wanted to stay away longer then one year but told friends/family they’d be home in that timespan. IMO Sounds like Esther telling him when she’d be home and the repeatedly extending...
It was just a repetition of something done before.

So, is Esther just living “in the moment’ somewhere with someone else facilitating her escape...someone else providing for her needs? After all these years of living as SHE wished, did she see Dan abandoning the lifestyle and therefore pushing her to facilitate a way to continue without him?

We live in a world of instant communication. Could she have met another trekker like herself, who sympathized and after a few weeks, she throws away her phone and escapes for the second time in her life...off the grid...away from new reports or demanding loved ones...just speculating and guessing, of course.

 

[patCee]

So, is Esther just living “in the moment’ somewhere with someone else facilitating her escape...someone else providing for her needs? After all these years of living as SHE wished, did she see Dan abandoning the lifestyle and therefore pushing her to facilitate a way to continue without him?

BBM
A good find, thank you - and I will add to your snippets as follows:-

'Removing many of the conventional life stresses allowed a lot of suppressed issues to creep up over time. It’s been a very cathartic experience at times, especially when sharing a tiny living space with a long-term life partner!'

I have the impression that ED tends to openly express feelings relating to herself. Whilst Dan seems to comment more openly on feelings between them. Prior to their travels saying the 'romance gone' and they'd developed a 'mutual immense loathing'. Very strange that they decided to live together in a single tiny space, in a way isolating themselves from meaningful relationships (family/friends) for superficial relationships with people they met in passing. In addition it seems coping with each other. Once they'd sold up, thus removing the important commitments they shared, what is it that has kept them together cooped up in a van? ED seems quite content travelling solo and I suspect she would have carried on if not for the weather, or at least would be off again shortly after returning to DC, lockdown permitting.

 

[RickshawFan]

To me, I read this couple's interviews and social media as "marketing". I feel as though I'm being told what to believe. It makes me very uncomfortable.

I also notice that DC often speaks for ED's feelings. He is quite clear about them. She, on the other hand, speaks for her own feelings, but, as we can see from our extensive postings, they are difficult to give coherent shape to.

 

[stmarysmead]

Esther was joining up quite a bit ‘with friends” on these last adventures. Suppose, in my imaginings, she encountered someone quite sympathetic, who might agree to put her up for awhile till she found her way forward. She could promise to do odd jobs as they had been doing. She could, imaging again, have spun a tale of her dogs being given away, and her mean partner going back to his materialistic ways. Just wild imagining of course.

But in this mountainous area, would it be so hard to meet just one someone, also living off the grid, who did not follow news, own a computer, or a tv?

On another topic, what do we know of Esther’s career path after the Oxford degree?

 

[Onlinesleuth]

The whole point of marketing via lifestyle features is to sell something and reach as wide an audience as possible so as to increase sales. They’d already put years of work into raising their profile by documenting their travels in the form of their photographs, social media, and blog. They must have been thrilled with the prospect of the upcoming feature on them...

Public Relations protocol is to inform readers/followers/viewers of the upcoming piece so as to create anticipation, then on the day of publication itself to ‘strike while the iron is hot’ and immediately publish links to the piece on all their social media channels plus the method of purchasing the product itself.

Coverage is hard won, so if you achieve it then you don’t need encouragement to advertise the fact you’ve been featured.

DC and ED specifically cultivated that piece of press coverage, therefore they’d be excited about it - possibly hoping for pre-Christmas sales of their books.

The only reasons for them not to have done the correct social media protocol is if a) he/she/they suddenly didn’t want the spotlight on them that day. Why not? What had changed? b) he/she/they thought it was pointless as they were changing tack in their lives and the content of the piece was no longer relevant or worth publicising c) he/she/they decided to delay promoting the piece until ED returned to base. But why would they do that as it misses a few days of potential sales?

 

[stmarysmead]

In their book “What adventures should we have today”...they give some detail on their background.


Dan was proud of his working-class background in the northeast of England. His father was a milkman while his mother worked in a call centre.

Esther was born in Holland and grew up in the Buckinghamshire village of Stone in England. She had been a boarder at the $45,000 a year, Headington School in Oxfordshire where she became a rowing fanatic, which eventually meant she represented Great Britain in the sport.

Colegate’s book, “What Adventures Shall We Have Today?: Travelling From More To Less In Search Of A Simpler Life”, was published in June 2020. It reminisces that after graduating with first-class degrees from Oxford University they settled into successful academic careers. He worked for a year at Oxford’s chemistry research laboratory while Esther completed a degree. He then insisted they move to Durham where he had the offer to study for a PhD Post-graduate qualification and she found a place on a masters course.

Four years later they moved to Cambridge where Dan became a postdoctoral research assistant in the department of engineering. Esther obtained a fellowship at Wolfson College and was offered a PhD scholarship.

The couple had won a business competition to set up a network for early career researchers which signed up 20,000 members from 80 countries. They also bought three buy-to-let properties which left them heavily in debt.

Dan said “It was around this time that any last traces of romance slipped away from us. We clung on to the belief that we still loved each other, but beneath all the animosity, it was hard.”

In 2013 they moved back to the northeast of England where Colegate took an administration job at Newcastle University. Esther became a personal trainer, having been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. At this time the couple had both been diagnosed with clinical depression.“

So Esther obtained numerous advance degrees after college. They won a business competition together to set up and network...but it may be that Esther’s only j0b was being a “personal trainer.”.

 

[stmarysmead]

The whole point of marketing via lifestyle features is to sell something and reach as wide an audience as possible so as to increase sales. They’d already put years of work into raising their profile by documenting their travels in the form of their photographs, social media, and blog. They must have been thrilled with the prospect of the upcoming feature on them...

Public Relations protocol is to inform readers/followers/viewers of the upcoming piece so as to create anticipation, then on the day of publication itself to ‘strike while the iron is hot’ and immediately publish links to the piece on all their social media channels plus the method of purchasing the product itself.

Coverage is hard won, so if you achieve it then you don’t need encouragement to advertise the fact you’ve been featured.

DC and ED specifically cultivated that piece of press coverage, therefore they’d be excited about it - possibly hoping for pre-Christmas sales of their books.

The only reasons for them not to have done the correct social media protocol is if a) he/she/they suddenly didn’t want the spotlight on them that day. Why not? What had changed? b) he/she/they thought it was pointless as they were changing tack in their lives and the content of the piece was no longer relevant or worth publicising c) he/she/they decided to delay promoting the piece until ED returned to base? But why would they do that as it misses a few days of potential sales.

‘Excellent information! Thanks!

 

[Grouse]

For those who have asked about ED's posting times and lack of timestamps on IG, I have analysed some of her later posts as per the post I made yesterday on this (which contains a link to the article I found that describes how to do this if anyone wants to verify for themselves).

Below are what I believe to be the times of the messages (plus any messages from Facebook) in local Spanish time. I cannot be sure they are correct but I think they are.

The messages on FB aren't always exactly the same as IG and are more infrequent than I'd though compared to IG.

Instagram Timestamp| Message begins | Facebook Timestamp

Sat, 21 Nov 2020 13:10:25 | "I'm in heaven.... (from the Pic)| <none>


Thu, 19 Nov 2020 19:14:01 | "An amazing rainbow | <none>


Thu, 19 Nov 2020 19:02:28 | "I reached the top | <none>


Thu, 19 Nov 2020 18:46:28| " Today was a very mixed day | Thu, 19 Nov 2020 19:19


Wed, 18 Nov 2020 20:58:13 | "Goodnight | Wed, 18 Nov 2020 22:20


Wed, 18 Nov 2020 20:51:45 | "Stunning | <none>


Wed, 18 Nov 2020 20:51:45 | " Another awesome adventure | <none>


Tue, 17 Nov 2020 20:13:05 | " Grateful for an amazing day | <none>


Tue, 17 Nov 2020 19:49:04 | "I love being a snail | Tue, 17 Nov 2020 19:51


Mon, 16 Nov 2020 19:30:42 | "A few years ago | <none>


Mon, 16 Nov 2020 19:06:37 | Lots of time | Mon, 16 Nov 2020 19:26

ETA: sorry the formatting ain't brilliant, should have made a table

 

[Onlinesleuth]

Snipped for focus

How did they follow up on their resolution? Just curious.

To her credit, ED did the 3 day cycling fundraiser last summer, for starters... not sure what else.

 

[patCee]

When discussing their lives together it does seem that individual/shared emotions carry an equal place with the practical issues along with the pleasure in travelling. They seem very aware of all these things. I get the feeling that although DC enjoys many aspects of their lives he also has more practical concerns or needs as part of his own nature.
Very often, IMO, in more 'out there' needs/wishes one of the partners has more influence than the other. The other concedes wishing to keep the relationship going. I have the feeling, looking at the limited history we are aware of that lockdown has made their differences more prominent. That they were both aware of it despite DCs assertions that they were very happy with no issues.
a) The question is would ED be prepared to face DC with her needs or just disappear, knowing how this would affect DC/family?
b) Would she harm herself feeling unable to face up to the situation rather than continuing the life she loved when lockdown ended?
c) Did she have a fatal accident, or something out of her control, and was tragically denied the opportunity to deal with issues I believe she carried and continue her life with DC?
Are we back to square 1?
All IMO.

 

[Onlinesleuth]

Snipped for focus

How did they follow up on their resolution? Just curious.

To her credit, ED did the 3 day cycling fundraiser last summer, for starters... not sure what else.

When discussing their lives together it does seem that individual/shared emotions carry an equal place with the practical issues along with the pleasure in travelling. They seem very aware of all these things. I get the feeling that although DC enjoys many aspects of their lives he also has more practical concerns or needs as part of his own nature.
Very often, IMO, in more 'out there' needs/wishes one of the partners has more influence than the other. The other concedes wishing to keep the relationship going. I have the feeling, looking at the limited history we are aware of that lockdown has made their differences more prominent. That they were both aware of it despite DCs assertions that they were very happy with no issues.
a) The question is would ED be prepared to face DC with her needs or just disappear, knowing how this would affect DC/family?
b) Would she harm herself feeling unable to face up to the situation rather than continuing the life she loved when lockdown ended?
c) Did she have a fatal accident, or something out of her control, and was tragically denied the opportunity to deal with issues I believe she carried and continue her life with DC?
Are we back to square 1?
All IMO.

 

[stmarysmead]

The reason I’m less convinced of an accident is that Esther did not just have excellent experienced professionals scouring the mountains for her, she had a partner with the skill set to do his own personal search...and he did so for days...maybe more.

Dan seems rather certain that she’s not there. And, as would be natural, seems to believe that she is a crime victim, not a voluntary disappearance. I’m sure as awful as that prospect is, it pales to thinking your partner has cruelly deserted you....either by plan or by suicide.

Esther is apparently the child of wealthy parents. She is athletic and very smart. But she says she was bullied and she has bouts of depression. After extensive academic preparation at the highest level, has anyone found a job other than “professional trainer?” Has she always been cared for by others, in one way or the other, her whole life? Is this what she expects, even from strangers? Has she found someone to help her now?

I wonder, in my wild imaginings, what is the relationship between Dan and her parents? Someday, there may be a book that answers many of our questions.

 

[Grouse]

<snipped for focus and BBM>
and we also have a friend who is letting us stay at his house in the Gers Department. In return for paying the bills we are at least not restricted to a motorhome for the time being. We love van life but the key ingredient is the fact it moves, which isn't really possible right now.

Thanks for this, hadn't seen that so it fills in another gap.

 

[stmarysmead]

So, was there general agreement, that if anyone has heard from Esther and they informed the investigators that she was alive and well, that we might never hear of it and she would face no legal repercussions? Was that the consensus opinion here?

 

[fridaybaker]

<modsnip: Quoted post was removed>

Who knows, though, what the firm representing them may be directing him to do. They may have asked him to severely limit discussion so as to let them control the messaging. One "false word", so to speak, and the entire public sees something nefarious, misleading, etc. I don't know, but could this be the reason?