The Texts Messages: Warning! Graphic SEXUALLY EXPLICIT

[Emma Peel]

The sexting "might" be damning as evidence ~ we don't even know what they have in writing from Terri. So I disagree with you there.

It also depends on your definition of "damning evidence." It depends on what "favors" she was trying to procure from the sexting activity. It depends on why she was sending those pictures.

A jury is going to be judgmental towards a woman of her age with three children. That's just human nature, no matter how feely-wheely we try to be about how sexting is okay.

Indeed, I could have mentioned any number of men: Spitzer, Tiger Woods, the Gov. of SC, etc. It is easy to point at men and call them sex addicts, adulterers, or just scumbags. If Terri was male I think that's what we'd be saying without hesitation.

But those men are not involved in a missing child case, either. And in spite of fame, they still have to answer to someone for their actions if they want to settle their divorces, gain any kind of custody, or get visitation.

Terri isn't even willing to do that, apparently. :banghead:

My previous post was about well-known women who share traits with TH, but who also aren't involved in a missing child case.

There's nothing technically wrong with being an exhibitionist since some famous people - like Lady Gaga and Madonna (both of whom I like, actually) are also exhibitionists or even Narcissists themselves, and they would both probably laugh and agree with me. There are plenty of men who fit that profile also - Arnold Schwarzenegger and others.

And body-building is rather a self-absorbed occupation, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it. Not everyone's cup of tea, but plenty of ordinary people gain self-esteem working out in the gym.

But TH also complained about Kaine at the gym, and possibly tried to kidnap her daughter from the gym. Kaine said she was also leaving her in day care at the gym for hours at a time.

And worse, Terri insisted that she took Baby K to the gym on the day Kyron disappeared in spite of an ear infection. Her. Own. Words.

So all that will be looked at by a judge. Add the sexting to that, and you get one self-absorbed woman who thought she was a "Hot Mama" and everyone wanted her. Um . . . yeah.

Nothing wrong with that, except she seems deluded and won't talk to a psychiatrist about it.

We have to look at the big picture, the way a jury will.

I agree we do have to look at the big picture.

Also, I'd like to clarify something.

To me, frankly, the sexting IS a HUGE red flag.

IMO, It means Terri is emotionally broken.

(I am willing to bet that Madonna does not send texts like this, nor does Gaga. Furthermore, their artistic personas are not their private personas. But, enough said, and I agree that with the likes of Tiger Woods, et al - you nail the emotional disease I'm thinking Terri has.)

So ...
What we know now is that Terri sexts proficiently and with abandon. IMO, she teases, leads, entices, even manipulates with sex, likely even did so prior to the time when texting was the norm. It fills the void. Very likely, Terri has been emotionally broken for a long, long time. Kaine missed it, IMO. Terri has proven a good compensator. Broken, but smart enough to compensate and blend in. A wild amazon-thing in private, but conformingly normal on the outside - IMO, she may have simply been one version of a man's fantasy.

Agree with those that point out that anyone in their right emotional mind, who is serious about a teaching career, would be mindful of keeping their private life protected and would not carry on sexting with acquaintances. Agree that the sexts are a red flag that Terri was clearly not in her emotional right mind.

While the sexts are a window into what was going on with Terri emotionally, to the state of the marriage, to the fragility of a home that was Kyron & the baby's ... IMO, they're only useful in a circumstantial evidence vein if there's actually some more evidence to put the sexts into some kind of context that point to murder.

So while I concede that the sexts are interesting circumstantial evidence, I have to say ... evidence of what? We're missing those major and meaningful pieces of evidence that make the sexts the frosting on a compelling circumstantial story-cake, IMO. Here's hoping that LE has that critical circumstantial evidence that we can frost with these sexts on top a circumstantial cake. er ... case.

IMO, the likelihood that the sexts indicate that Terri - the primary caregiver - exhibits extremely poor judgement, questionable character, gratuitous behavior, readily took risks, and was capable of engaging in any variety of high risk behaviors that young children should never be exposed to. The circles Terri moved in - with her openly casual lascivious behavior - the company that she kept "in private" - we know little about. Could they be deadly?

And therein lies a whole new world of possibilities as to the truth of what happened to Kyron. Terri doesn't have to be Kyron's killer. She might simply be the link, or worse, the catalyst.

 

[Emma Peel]

Adding that it's interesting that Terri's attorneys, in their response to the sexts, confidently gloss over the sexting behavior as irrelevant to anything - including child visitation. They are already putting a minimizing spin on the sexts. Yet, they are not minimizing the reported drinking behavior.

 

[germaine]

LOL, guys, I'm not calling anyone prudish or uptight. I'm simply voicing a different perspective, and a different way that I see these sexts. If you actually think I'm calling you all uptight, I'm sorry...but I'm really not.

I wrote out a long response, but I don't think it would matter. Oh well...just know that I am not calling anyone prudish or uptight or whatever. I'm just seeing things a tad differently, that's all.

Best-
Herding Cats

this is how I got the idea that you think I, and possibly others with the same pov, have their head in the sand regarding *modern* sexual mores

qouting you and sbm~

Why do you think this is abberant/deviant behavior? because it's not something you'd do? Because it's not what people you know do? It's 'ugly coping', I've said, but I don't know that it's all that deviant or abberant...

See, deviant to me is pedophilia, necrophelia, et cetera. Abberant? I am not sure how you're using that in this context, but I'll bet a whole slew of nickels that there are a bunch of folks sexting each other all the time. So if you're using abberant to mean not typical, I can't agree here, either. If you're meaning 'not normal', then I think maybe you are not aware of just how widespread sexting actually is.


So I do it, people I know do it, I am aware of how widespread it is. That doesn't mean I think it's ideal or that, in context, it's not aberrant or deviant. And yes, by using those terms with their standard definitions, I mean it's not normal. I don't think even you are arguing that it's normal in context -- hence the minimizing term "ugly coping". It's ugly, because it "unusual" -- totally not normal -- deviant and aberrant.

 

[gitana1]

BBM. I would imagine that it would do a 2-year-old more harm than good to see her mom for an hour or two at a time and then be taken away from her again. That is very disruptive, IMO, and confusing for a toddler to understand and I can't imagine a judge would put her through that. Better to keep her in her presumably stable environment and if/when Terri is deemed fit to see her on an on-going, regular basis, then they can re-introduce her to her mommy. It's sad, but I do think it is in the best interest of K.

You may be right but someone posted a compelling post about having their mother disappear at the same age as Baby K and how that affected her. Also, I have had quite a few cases over the years with supervised visitation and although it can be a very sad experience for the child involved when it's time to leave, and the feelings of only being able to be with their parent for a limited amount of time, etc., I have seen that many kids seem to just be happy to know that their parent is alive or that their parent cares. Of course, those are older kids. But I can imagine a baby whose mom has suddenly disappeared feeling confused, bereft, and abandoned. Maybe knowing mom is still around and being able to see her a couple times per week would act to help the child to adjust to the new reality of not having that person in her life on a daily basis. It may help to quell any later problems due to a feeling of abandonment.
I had one case, where I represented mom and dad was a very scary goth guy who erupted in psychotic rages against the mom, his friends, her friends, strangers, etc. He sent people to the hospital and battered my client bloody. The baby witnessed some of this while in her mom's arms. The guy had intermittent explosive disorder and bipolar disorder. Anyhow, we got an RO and the baby, who was about 6 months old, had not seen her dad for a couple of months when supervised visits were ordered. I was concerned how it would pan out. The first visit, the baby was fussy and pictures the guy later showed of that visit showed a confused looking child with glassy eyes and no expression. But after that, things got better according to the monitor who took extensive notes. The baby responded with smiles when she saw her dad, and played and seemed relaxed with him.
I think TH is guilty of hurting Kyron. I think she planned it alone and may have had help afterward but i think she viewed Kyron as an obstacle or a means to seek revenge. I do not think she should have custody of any child ever. But I do my best to try to have some objectivity. And to me, people who do evil things are not usually 100% evil.
I think she adored her child, who looks so much like her. I don't know if she was a great mom. If she was passing out a lot and did not have the child on a regular schedule, probably not. But I think she smiled at the baby, held her, talked to her, bathed and fed her - things very important to infants. Maybe the baby was exposed to some strange, scary negative energy from TH. Perhaps she even witnessed something bad, although I really doubt it. If TH killed Kyron I think she left the baby in the car while she and Kyron walked to his doom, or had a friend take the baby for a couple of hours.
Regardless, her hatred or apathy for Kyron likely did not extend to the child she probably thought of as an extension of herself. And I believe, especially when hearing things from some children of killers, for example, that there is love there on the part of baby K for TH, or at the least, some attachment. So, supervised visits may be good for the baby who does not understand why mommy suddenly disappeared. Yes, she would experience her coming and then going again on a regular basis but the sudden disappearance would be somewhat tempered. I also think it could act as a bridge between daily life with mommy, to an eventual permanent lack of contact - she has mommy, mommy is then gone totally, for a few months, she then sees her again but on a very limited basis, until she is out of her life for good, which I 100% believe will happen with an eventual arrest and conviction in this case. I guess I'm trying to say that supervised visits may act to resolve the sudden disappearance but wean her from daily life with her mother. I do see though how having her mom gone, then back and probably gone again for good could add more stress to an infant who cannot reason why.
The problem is that TH will not participate in the process of answering these questions and determining what exactly is in the baby's best interest. Saying that all or most babies benefit from some contact with their formerly primary parent is a place to start - and it could be enough for the judge, I don't know - but to me it's just a starting place. Much more information may be needed in such a sensitive case when we are talking about a potentially seriously disturbed parent who likely killed a child who was pretty much her own child, having renewed contact with another of her children. I'd like to see this case maybe get minor's counsel, so that an independent third party could hear from both parents, family members and friends, associates, whomever, about how things were for Baby K, and how things are now and the potential ramifications of renewed contact for the baby. Let me end by saying that were it not for the possibility that TH murdered a child (and then refused to ask for visits with her baby for almost three months), supervised visits would be a slam dunk for me.

 

[Etilema]

...
I believe when you piece all of these events together it does show that Terri can be a very dangerous woman and is capable and willing to use her sexual prowess to break the law and commit horrible acts.

Yes, I think she discovered that most men are susceptible to sexual manipulation, if you push the right buttons and take it far enough, and that, sadly, a large number of men can be made to do almost anything by using that method. JMO

 

[Nana46]

Yes, I think she discovered that most men are susceptible to sexual manipulation, if you push the right buttons and take it far enough, and that, sadly, a large number of men can be made to do almost anything by using that method. JMO

Totally agree! I have a relative who has broken up many marriages and is now on to her fourth guy to totally conquer....it is amazing to me how "stupid" a seemingly happy married man can be totally smoozed by this chick...she won't stop with this one...when he has served his purpose she will move on...and I might add she has completely alienated her biological children. They are so ashamed of their mother and what she has chosen to do with her life....sad to say she flaunts this daily. Also to add she is a Psycologist for a school system....need I say more.:banghead:

 

[Etilema]

Totally agree! I have a relative who has broken up many marriages and is now on to her fourth guy to totally conquer....it is amazing to me how "stupid" a seemingly happy married man can be totally smoozed by this chick...she won't stop with this one...when he has served his purpose she will move on...and I might add she has completely alienated her biological children. They are so ashamed of their mother and what she has chosen to do with her life....sad to say she flaunts this daily. Also to add she is a Psycologist for a school system....need I say more.:banghead:

BBM

HUH????
:waitasec:

 

[ami]

BBM

HUH????
:waitasec:

The poster's relative; not Terri.

 

[dodie20]

about these texts...normally, I would look past someone sexting, or writing dirty emails, or phone sex, or whatever, because people do use the phone & internet for that stuff. not saying I approve or disapprove, but it's normally private business. But I do wonder what this particular woman, who's in this particular predicament, is thinking. I'd think she'd be on her best, professional type behavior, but it's like she's an attention junkie & just has to have all eyes focused on her. & if there's a such thing, I think it might be some kind of ugly coping. whatever diversion it takes, to get her mind off her shambles of a life. I've never even met a female body builder, so I don't have anybody to compare her to, but I have met a few guys...& they're steroid freaks, who crave attention, have short fuses, & lead wild & promiscuous lifestyles. Also, they need constant reinforcement from, (different), females, that they're the best, awesome, sexy, etc...It's like an OCD. All body builders aren't like this, I'm sure, but it does make me wonder about going from ALL THAT, to a frumpy middle aged lady, in about 60 seconds. Talk about a crash! It's just my opinion, but body building seems like a strange, self oriented, way for a woman to live. I wouldn't think there'd be a place for children, in that world.

 

[Pensfan]

about these texts...normally, I would look past someone sexting, or writing dirty emails, or phone sex, or whatever, because people do use the phone & internet for that stuff. not saying I approve or disapprove, but it's normally private business. But I do wonder what this particular woman, who's in this particular predicament, is thinking. I'd think she'd be on her best, professional type behavior, but it's like she's an attention junkie & just has to have all eyes focused on her. & if there's a such thing, I think it might be some kind of ugly coping. whatever diversion it takes, to get her mind off her shambles of a life. I've never even met a female body builder, so I don't have anybody to compare her to, but I have met a few guys...& they're steroid freaks, who crave attention, have short fuses, & lead wild & promiscuous lifestyles. Also, they need constant reinforcement from, (different), females, that they're the best, awesome, sexy, etc...It's like an OCD. All body builders aren't like this, I'm sure, but it does make me wonder about going from ALL THAT, to a frumpy middle aged lady, in about 60 seconds. Talk about a crash! It's just my opinion, but body building seems like a strange, self oriented, way for a woman to live. I wouldn't think there'd be a place for children, in that world.

BBM
The choice of TH’s risky behavior (you termed it as not behaving professionally) fits the behavior of a narcissist. Narcissists display both greater overconfidence and heightened risk-taking. This overconfidence and risk taking results in diminished attainment. In other words, they think they know almost everything and they are risk takers. This results in "mistakes" which non-narcissists likely would not have made.
http://www.csulb.edu/~cwallis/382/certainty/overconfidence/Cambell.pdf

TH's behavior may also be impulsive behavior which is indicative of other mental health problems, but it fits in well with risk-taking behavior of narcissists.

 

[Meagain]

It's 'aberrant behavior' because Kyron was missing what.... 3 weeks? That's why.

If my dog was missing for 3 weeks, the last thing I would do would be to engage a stranger like that. And I can't imagine most would. It shows disconnect, lack of caring for Kyron, etc. and yes, it will be used in court.

And when the heck is this case going to MOVE anyway?

 

[Etilema]

The poster's relative; not Terri.

No, I understood that. I was just SHOCKED, after that horrific description of the woman's behavior, to find she is working as a school psychologist. Blew my mind.

Thanks, though, for the clarification.

 

[LindseyLou]

Wow, I just read this article and realized there is a thing called narcissistic personality disorder. After reading her texts it was clear to me that she was (1) overly agressive (2) had self esteem issues (3) needed to feel admired (4) arrogance...

This is what the article describes as Narcissictic Personality Disorder behavior. Wonder if that is accurate in describing some of her instability. (plus, an additional condition which would have led to her acting on her thoughts of "disappearing" a child)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder belongs to the cluster known as "the dramatic disorders" (along with histrionic, antisocial, and borderline). It is believed to effect 1% of the general population and is much more prevalent in men than in women. Although all healthy people possess a certain amount of narcissism or self love it is the constant need for admiration along with the need to devalue others that narcissists possess that makes it a full-blown personality disorder.
Difficulty: Moderate
Instructions
1
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatry defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder as, "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts." The following are some of the more common symptoms of NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

2
GRANDIOSE SENSE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE. Narcissists love to "toot their own horns". They believe that they are "special" and they expect others to treat them as such. They often exaggerate their own talents and accomplishments. They are incredible braggarts and as a result are very difficult people to like. In fact they are often hated by those around them.

3
REQUIRE CONSTANT ADMIRATION. Narcissists require praise and admiration from others; they feed on it. These people need to be the center of attention and when they don't get the necessary praise and accolades they can become very frustrated, angry, and even hostile.

4
ARROGANCE. Narcissists believe that they are better than other people. Often a narcissist will devalue someone else in order to elevate themself. They have contempt and disdain for those they view as inferior. Although narcissists may appear incredibly confident, haughty, and arrogant below the surface they is often a thin veil of insecurity.

5
ENVY. If a narcissist comes across someone who appears to know more or have more than they do they will attempt to devalue or belittle that person. By diminishing the accomplishments of others the narcissist elevates himself.

6
A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder believe they deserve to be treated in a special manner. Often narcissists will only interact with people they feel are their equals. They expect others to cater to them and can become furious if they are not treated in the manner they expect.



Read more: How to Identify Narcissistic Personality Disorder | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_5905795_identify-narcissistic-personality-disorder.html#ixzz148dacOST

 

[32beatspersecond]

Wow, I just read this article and realized there is a thing called narcissistic personality disorder. After reading her texts it was clear to me that she was (1) overly agressive (2) had self esteem issues (3) needed to feel admired (4) arrogance...

This is what the article describes as Narcissictic Personality Disorder behavior. Wonder if that is accurate in describing some of her instability. (plus, an additional condition which would have led to her acting on her thoughts of "disappearing" a child)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder belongs to the cluster known as "the dramatic disorders" (along with histrionic, antisocial, and borderline). It is believed to effect 1% of the general population and is much more prevalent in men than in women. Although all healthy people possess a certain amount of narcissism or self love it is the constant need for admiration along with the need to devalue others that narcissists possess that makes it a full-blown personality disorder.
Difficulty: Moderate
Instructions
1
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatry defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder as, "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts." The following are some of the more common symptoms of NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

2
GRANDIOSE SENSE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE. Narcissists love to "toot their own horns". They believe that they are "special" and they expect others to treat them as such. They often exaggerate their own talents and accomplishments. They are incredible braggarts and as a result are very difficult people to like. In fact they are often hated by those around them.

3
REQUIRE CONSTANT ADMIRATION. Narcissists require praise and admiration from others; they feed on it. These people need to be the center of attention and when they don't get the necessary praise and accolades they can become very frustrated, angry, and even hostile.

4
ARROGANCE. Narcissists believe that they are better than other people. Often a narcissist will devalue someone else in order to elevate themself. They have contempt and disdain for those they view as inferior. Although narcissists may appear incredibly confident, haughty, and arrogant below the surface they is often a thin veil of insecurity.

5
ENVY. If a narcissist comes across someone who appears to know more or have more than they do they will attempt to devalue or belittle that person. By diminishing the accomplishments of others the narcissist elevates himself.

6
A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder believe they deserve to be treated in a special manner. Often narcissists will only interact with people they feel are their equals. They expect others to cater to them and can become furious if they are not treated in the manner they expect.



Read more: How to Identify Narcissistic Personality Disorder | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_5905795_identify-narcissistic-personality-disorder.html#ixzz148dacOST

The irony here is that I can't decipher who exactly you are describing - Terri or DeDe?????

 

[ami]

No, I understood that. I was just SHOCKED, after that horrific description of the woman's behavior, to find she is working as a school psychologist. Blew my mind.

Thanks, though, for the clarification.

Hee! Sorry!

 

[Jo in Calif]

The irony here is that I can't decipher who exactly you are describing - Terri or DeDe?????

I'd say, possibly both. But most likely she was describing Terri.

 

[Billylee]

The fact that we have little or no facts in this case, is what leads to such enormous volumes of speculation. IDK, but I think we should just take every post out this forum that "bashes" anyone, and let's see what we have left. Sadly, there won't be much, I think. There is such wide vile speculation spewing on many forums across the internet toward TH & others, I just wish LE would just arrest her and get on with it! Or, could come forward and say something to put an end to it all, like, we no longer feel Terri is a suspect. But, of course they can't do that, because they never have even said she was suspect.

Whatever LE has, we know it's not enough to arrest and convict Terri, even the GJ says so by not returning a true bill. I hope the task force is making some kind of progress, cuz all we're hearing from them is more crickets. Though I have to say, maybe LE's silence is better than the previous "riddles".

I wish we knew more, and most of all I wish we had an idea of where Kyron is, it's like he vanished into thin air.

 

[txsvicki]

A few other things that I've read about narcissists is that they may contradict themselves, even with one sentence right after another. They also are so into themselves and out of touch with recognizing others' feelings and intentions that they are easily manipulated. They lack the proper cognitive abilities and most have no sense of humor, just a dry wit that is sometimes mistaken for humor.

 

[gwenabob]

The fact that we have little or no facts in this case, is what leads to such enormous volumes of speculation. IDK, but I think we should just take every post out this forum that "bashes" anyone, and let's see what we have left. Sadly, there won't be much, I think. There is such wide vile speculation spewing on many forums across the internet toward TH & others, I just wish LE would just arrest her and get on with it! Or, could come forward and say something to put an end to it all, like, we no longer feel Terri is a suspect. But, of course they can't do that, because they never have even said she was suspect.

Whatever LE has, we know it's not enough to arrest and convict Terri, even the GJ says so by not returning a true bill. I hope the task force is making some kind of progress, cuz all we're hearing from them is more crickets. Though I have to say, maybe LE's silence is better than the previous "riddles".

I wish we knew more, and most of all I wish we had an idea of where Kyron is, it's like he vanished into thin air.

BBM

Where did you hear this? It has not been reported anyplace I know of. Do you have a link to a reputable news source that says the GJ returned with anything at all? AFAIK, they are still meeting.

 

[DreamyEye]

My mother's mother was a diagnosed Narcissist with criminal features. (She tried to kill my mother many times; and may actually have killed my mother's bio father. She as much as confessed to it on her deathbed.)

I'm told this is in keeping with a child of a Narcissist: Mom married a Narcissist, though my Dad was actually a kind person in his way--he just could never think in any terms other than what was best for himself. He was the kind who'd smile kindly, laugh at your jokes, and pat you on the back sympathetically as he edged into line in front of you.

Other relations also had the Narcissistic diagnosis, though the only criminal was my grandmother.

Having grown up among a number of them, how do I determine whether someone is really a Narcissist or not? To me, the one thing that stands out among all of them: If you do not cooperate with what they want and they cannot wear you down, they will get even with you. They may do it with a smile on their faces, but they will get even--and it almost always comes out of left field ... some punishment you couldn't dream of, and never saw coming.