Travis Alexander's Journals and text messages

[east2west]

I used to think Jodi's goal was Cancun, but now I've come to think that anything short of him marrying her, she still would have killed him. And Travis had finally seen the real Jodi and the depth of her manipulations and had had enough. He threatened to expose her to everyone, and her whole Mormon target pool would have been destroyed. All the grooming she'd invested since Darryl...

I agree with you regarding the "exposing" scenario. I think though her last ditch effort to turn him around and win him back (in her mind) was the email dated May 16th. Many of things she mentions in that email deflect her real feelings, in my opinion. She appears to write the opposite of what most likely are her real feelings. In writing, shes giving him the opportunity to see what he'll be missing because she is this wonderful, forgiving, exceptionally evolved, spiritual individual.

When this backfired, she probably was seething with rage. Her last ditch effort via email failed to win him back. Next stop was to show up in person, so he could physically see what he'll be missing. Her selfies hours before the killing are actually quite revealing. She was pulling out all the stops by using her sexuality. The spirtual and forgiving thing( lets be friends) backfired so plan B for this last ditch effort was her sexuality. If by the end of the sex session on June 4th, he didnt beg for her back, she would kill him. This would be the end. No more opportunities. The sex card was all she had left to play. After lounging in bed after sex, he probably mentioned that he had to get up and get going, get ready for the Cancun trip. No talk of taking her back. Her slow burn finally took on the full shape of the murder she had only previously imagined. All her murderous handiwork was completed in less than a few minutes.

 

[neesaki]

Maybe there was an entry saying "If anything happens to me, Jodi did it." That would be a good reason to steal rather than just sneakily read the journal.



I haven't been on there lately but IIRC one of the journals listed as "Jodi's" is really Travis's.

Thanks AZL, I looked under CMJA journals, and looked under Travis' writings but still didn't find his journals. Also wonder why BK doesn't have them listed on her site. Are we sure they are there ?

 

[RickshawFan]

TA and JA phone/text/chat correspondence totals over 80,000. Far less than 1% of that has ever been entered into evidence. We're not working with very much to put the pieces together with, which is why I think Travis' journal is so important.

Who came up with the 80,000 figure?

80,000 has to be number of entries, right? Each text would involve several of those? Each email would count as one?

 

[LambChop]

Can anyone give us a link to Travis' journals?

 

[RickshawFan]

BBM Who is the "closest friend" whom TA is referring to here?

Lisa?

 

[east2west]

I dont think she intended on going to Cancun, however the Cancun trip was the catalyst for the final showdown. She had to get to him before he left for a vacation without her, new beginnings without her (1000 Places To See...whatever). Cancun was the make or break but not in regards to her wanting to go. If he took her back after the sex on June 4th, she would have been more than glad to stay behind and play the martyr. She probably would have ended up cleaning his home from top to bottom and emailing him all the wonderful things shes accomplishing for him while he's gone on vacay.

ETA: from my male perspective.

 

[Hope4More]

Thanks AZL, I looked under CMJA journals, and looked under Travis' writings but still didn't find his journals. Also wonder why BK doesn't have them listed on her site. Are we sure they are there ?

Neesaki- link is below.

If you can't get there directly because of log in problems, got to Navigation, the Trial Info, then Jodi's journals. Travis' journal is number 6 (it's not labeled as his); the 1st 30-40 pages are his, then it switches back to hers. Journal 5 of JA's covers the spring of 2008. Otherwise the journals jump all over the place;I think becauseof how they were entered into evidence or some such. Hope that helps.

http://karasoncrime.com/jodis-journals/

 

[LinasK]

I dont think she intended on going to Cancun, however the Cancun trip was the catalyst for the final showdown. She had to get to him before he left for a vacation without her, new beginnings without her (1000 Places To See...whatever). Cancun was the make or break but not in regards to her wanting to go. If he took her back after the sex on June 4th, she would have been more than glad to stay behind and play the martyr. She probably would have ended up cleaning his home from top to bottom and emailing him all the wonderful things shes accomplishing for him while he's gone on vacay.

ETA: from my male perspective.

Not so sure about that because of the two-pack of sunscreen it was proven she bought at the Walmart in Salinas, along with the gas cans.
On the other hand, she did make her plans for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, which was after June 4th, which she put on the voicemail alibi, and she followed through with that. There is a picture of her taken with the lead actor from Othello.
Not that the two begin to compare- I was in Ashland last August to see a play there, and as good as it was, it wouldn't begin to compare to a trip to Cancun.

 

[east2west]

Not so sure about that because of the two-pack of sunscreen it was proven she bought at the Walmart in Salinas, along with the gas cans.
On the other hand, she did make her plans for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, which was after June 4th, which she put on the voicemail alibi, and she followed through with that. There is a picture of her taken with the lead actor from Othello.
Not that the two begin to compare- I was in Ashland last August to see a play there, and as good as it was, it wouldn't begin to compare to a trip to Cancun.

Ive thought about the sunscreen too. However, until we know if she had a passport with her on her roadtrip, we'll never know for sure. Imo.

 

[east2west]

Linas, the sunscreen could have been for simple day wear while Travis was in Cancun and she was martyr-ing herself by cleaning his home and taking care of Naps. Scheming in Arizona might require SPF30.

 

[Hope4More]

I don't think I'd ever put together how bad that whole month of May was for both of them. I think the fight on the 26th was really just an extension of the first one on the 7th. IMO, she knew after the 7th that she had lost him forever. She was gone, and she had no chance at getting him back. With him not having sex with her, she became more and more convinced that he would eventually tell all her secrets to everyone. So she begin planting proof of his/their secrets. I am convinced now that she was planning to murder him beginning around the early part of May.

I think she definitely drove out of Mesa thinking of ways to ruin him, to destroy his reputation. That she first drove down to Southern CA to get the Helio says a lot about what she was planning even before she made it back to Yreka. Inklings are in her journals of late 2007 that she'd thought about how vulnerable he was to being exposed by her. As early as late 2007, for example, she wrote about how horrible it would be if somehow her journal was lost, then found and read. Sound familiar?

At trial JA made a big deal about Travis not liking Rachel; introduced it as his controlling her by choosing her friends. Reality is, according to JA, she told Rachel that she and Travis were sexually intimate, and that Rachel kept pressuring her to go confess to the Bishop. Either she did tell Rachel, then told Travis she had (vulnerable) or she lied to Travis in order to torment him. Either way, she knew Travis had made himself incredibly vulnerable by being intimate with her.

So she reached for that first, I think; a destroy me by talking and I'll destroy you by talking. And she hacked in, listening. For the most part Travis seems not to have gone there because he thought she was gone. Why bother? When he did talk about her- to Regan, anyway, it seems more about reality testing and really coming to terms with what she'd done.

I think until May 26th JA was OK with manufacturing ammunition and keeping tabs on him. I don't think she had any idea how much he'd come to hate her. May 26th was his absolute line in the sand. She knew that day that he hated her, that he could no longer be controlled by her, that he didn't believe a word she said, and that her access to him was completely cut off- no more monitoring him online by hacking. He was an immediate threat to her, and she wasn't going to tolerate it. JMO

 

[Hope4More]

RELATED TESTIMONY, GUILT PHASE. (From Timelime thread, page 20, summary by KMouse). It is astounding how often she lied this one session!!!!!

Jodi Arias Day 6 of direct examination…..February 13, 2013

--Talking about the time period in which she was getting ready to move back to Yreka and was talking about the BMW that was ruined on the UHaul.

--Moved out of Mesa, had stayed at Travis' the night before. The car was on the tow dolly. They hung out, she stayed the night and slept in.

--She was arguing with Travis, didn't want to leave things that way, but she knew he would call her or she would call him because that was the cycle.

--She got in the UHaul truck and pulled up to the house one more time. Travis came up to the truck and spoke to her. She was still upset and crying. Travis went into the house and when he was on the porch he flipped her the double bird.

--the fight was serious, didn't turn violent that time.

Exhibit 439--Nurmi gets Jodi to read to herself. It is an email she sent to Travis before moving. Doesn't remember the date but it was in February 2008. The purpose of the email was that she wanted to move but she wasn't sure how to tell him since he would get upset when she had exertions of independance. She wanted to remind him that they would move on and see other people, marry other people.

--She drives away.

--Next contact, doesn't remember but she did have contact when she was in Hollister, CA with her older sister. She had wanted to stop in CA to see Gus.

--Can't remember how long it took her to get there, slept in her UHaul sometimes.

--When Travis flipped her off her feelings were hurt. Travis always said that they should never go to sleep angry.

--There was going to be a long period of time where she wouldn't see Travis but they would see each other at PPL events and talk on the phone.

--Had sex the day of the fight.

--Doesn't recall the specifics, Martinez objects.. speculation. Nurmi asks what the theme of the fight was about. Judge tells Nurmi to rephrase.

--There were running themes of their arguements. Travis had come clean and told Jodi about Lisa Andrews. She wasn't angry but she was shocked. Jodi apologizes and Nurmi tells her not to apologize to Martinez. Judge intervenes.

--Numerous objections by Martinez during this testimony. Jodi says she was not angry when she found out he was dating Lisa. Jodi knew he was interested in Mimi. Jodi says that now she was one of the girls he was seeing on the side and she knows how she felt when she was dating Travis and he was seeing other girls.

--This was at the same time she was having sex. Why was it okay with you to have sex with him when you knew he was seeing other people? Jodi says that old habits die hard. Jodi says it was unhealthy but she wasn't making healthy choices at that time so she continued to sleep with him.

--Jodi says that her impression was that Travis was not having sex with Mimi.

--After the fight when she was pulling away, she doesen't remember if it was that night or the next before they spoke.

--Says that she wasn't angry, just sad. He was angry.

--Why pick up the phone when he calls? Objection by Martinez because Jodi wasn't sure who called who.

--Says that Travis sent her a very mean text message and because he had a lot of his facts missed up she called to set it straight.

--T was mad about the person who informed her about Lisa.

--Says that T got into J's GMail account and he saw messages from Steve Carroll that she had been talking online through LDSmeetup???.com

--Asking how Travis got into her email account. Says she had given T her Facebook and Email passwords in the fall.

--Says they exchanged passwords to establish trust.

--Now talking about October 2007 she got the feeling that Travis was being unfaithful. Roommate told her that Travis was dating other people. Roommate told her that Travis goes on dates with other people and has been sleeping with other people.

--Jodi got the information from the roommate and based on that she assumed that Travis was still carrying on the same behavior unless he had changed his ways.

--They exchanged passwords even though it was Travis that was dating other people.

--Back to the day she left Mesa. Travis is mad that she has been conversing with Steve Carroll. Travis had his facts wrong. Nurmi asks her why she would care if Travis had his facts wrong. Says that she still cared about him. When things would get to that level she would start shaking and feel unsettled.

--Nurmi asks if this shaking happened before or after the beatings began. Martinez objects to the term "beatings".

--Nurmi is going over all the times Jodi says that Travis assaulted her. Pushed her down, choked her, etc.

--She got to a point in the relationship where she would shake when he was angry.

--She observed herself having this reaction even when she was miles away in Hollister, CA. It's when her nerves are frayed.

--Travis was threatening to...objection-hearsay....T wanted to know the information about who told her the information about Lisa. Told her that he was going to tell all her friends and family about all the psycho things she had done. She called Travis and threatened him back. Call happened in the night.

--Felt like T was still trying to exert control. Told him that the only thing she would tell him is that he was a pedophile with a past. Thinks she said something to that effect and Travis got quiet. Her tone turned softer because she snapped at him. Travis went back to the person who told Jodi about Lisa. Her and T talked it out and she is not sure how the call ended but she remembers apologizing because that is what she usually did.

--Now being asked about meeting up with Gus. She met with him and then went on to Yreka and moved into her grandparents home.

--Yreka is about 1000 miles from Travis' house.

--A few more dayd and a few more hundred miles....started feeling like the cloud was lifting off of her. She was very depressed and suicidal but did not feel like that since she moved to Yreka. Spent time with her grandparents.

--Photography business took off. Was booked a lot of wedding.

--Was still depressed but felt better than when in Mesa. Things were up and down with Travis. Sometimes she would do something to piss him off and he would send mean messages.

--Wanted to be happy for each other as they would have to see each other at events. This was her motivation for continuing the relationship. She stil had feelings for him but was not making good choices for herself. They continued the same thing but from far away.

--re: audio of phone sex from May 10, 2008. Nurmi asks if they continued to have more calls like that after she moved. There were three other times after moving to Yreka.

--Why talk about subjects that we heard on the phone call? Why not leave it at PPL and mutual friends? Jodi says she liked it. It was more about T being nice to her, complimentary towards her, there were times he was very mean but he was very nice. She tried to prolong the nice so it would last longer. Tried to make the phone sex calls last longer so it wasn't just wham bam then hang up. Used to have pleasant long conversations and now it seemed like he woudl be very nice but he wanted it to lead to that.

--T wanted her to get on the phone and start talking so she knew what the phone call would be about, he was being nice online and she hoped he would be nice to her on the phone.

--The call from May 10, 2008 was one of the three calls from Yreka. Says she had never done that before and she was kinda listening and saying some things.

--She was in Big Sur and she guesses it was phone sex because she got the idea he was masturbating.

--Two calls prior to the one we heard and one after...as per Jodi.

--Jodi did not have a job when she moved back. Was putting in applications. Not many places to work.

--Dating was not on her mind, was not consciously seeking it.

--If she were dating she doesn't know if she would have felt like she was betraying Travis, she feels like she would be betraying the other person. She would have to cut it off before moving on with somebody else.

--Chatting with a man on LDSlinkup.com

--Also chatted with a few other people.

--talked with Sam Shultz on LDSlinkup.com

--Says she did not have a relationship with Ryan Burns but got a text from Zion, he asked her where she was, told her she needed to come out to Utah as there was people he wanted her to meet. Zion said he had met her husband. Gave her clues about Ryan. She figured out it was Ryan and Zion asked if he could give Ryan her number. Ryan called her the next day.

--Thinks it was April 2008.

--Says that she dyed her hair before moving out of Mesa and she was now a brunette. Probably in late March. Showed up at a convention with dark hair and blonde highlights.

 

[Hope4More]

To have everything in one place: The May recognize email from JA to TA:


Travis,

Hey, there, I feel like sharing this with you. After all, you are my friend. It’s been a bit of a sore subject for both of us in the past and sometimes it feels like it continues to be, but I hope you’ll understand where I am coming from. I really hope you can stretch your mind and heart for this and put yourself in my shoes for the moment. I’m not saying you have to stay there nor do you have to agree with me, but I think if you give it an honest and sincere effort you will surely understand the way I feel, and why it is I sometimes feel this way.

I know the tone of an email or text message can sometime be ambiguous since the receiver is only interpreting what the tone of the sender would be if it were spoken, so please know that the spirit in which i send this is that of love, camaraderie, and amistad (friendship).

Here goes...

I realized after further introspection why it is that I asked you to give me a little mention in your next post as credit for the task of editing and grammar and typing the lengthly thing out. Partly, it is obvious. You gave your friend Katie a mention, and that was just for the intro. Logically, I am your friend, too. Your first chapter is at length and much longer, and so being the human that I am, it would make me feel good to have a little recognition thrown my way. But it goes deeper than that. I know I should be over this by now, and on most levels I am, really. But I feel that I never got the proper “credit” or recognition I deserved as your girlfriend. You say it is because you’re a private person. you say it was because of Deanna. You say it was because you were rather attached to the reputation of being a single, eligible bachelor. I understand all of that. I really do, and that’s okay, hon. I don’t harbor bad feelings over any of that stuff. I’m serious. You may be asking yourself why then the lengthly email detailing all of this, if that is in fact the case? Well, it’s a good thing this is in “writing” because if that is your question it has already been answered in the first paragraph of this email. Refer back to it if you wish. But my cry for a little recognition comes from a place within me that feels it was never adequately gratified in that it thirsted to be validated not just as some girl friend that you associated with, but as your girlfriend. I wasn’t asking for you to give me credit for all of your greatness, no. If I had anything to do with that then only a very tiny part, if at all. Though I was beginning to wonder if you were going to be able to subscribe to the philosophy that behind every great man there is a great woman, then that philosophy is a two way street, by the way.

I find myself now wishing to be recognized as your friend, and I think that comes from the fact that there is a hesitancy on your part to grant me that recognition within your entire circle of friends.

I’m going to digress a bit but I’m going to try tie it all together. Either way, this isn’t so much about flowing as it is purging.

About your mode of operation with Deanna, I both appreciated and despised it at the time. I could care less now. It was a double-edge sword for you. I know. For me as well. If Deanna was happy, Travis was happy, Jodi was Happy. True, you didn’t want to deal with her interrogations and emotions, and in large part, you wanted to protect her. Easily understandable for me, having the soft heart that I do when it comes to matters of romance and broken hearts. Protecting her? That is very characteristic of your sweeter, caring, considerate side. You’ve shown that to me as well on countless occasions. You are a bit of a people-pleaser, and that has been to my benefit and not. Again, it is a double-edged sword. You go out of your way to do things for me that will make me happy and you consider my feelings when doing certain things. I also realize it gets you tied up in certain ways. This incident about your blog, namely, where you don’t even want to give my name a mention because of the unwelcome crap and comments you receive by your friends, Chris and Sky Hughes. So there is a bit of people-pleasing going on it seems with more of your friendships beyond just the spectrum of ours.

Well, I’m going to make it easier for you. Given our history and the fact that we’ve dated and all, if any of your friendships should take the back burner it should be the one you have to hide from others. Don’t misunderstand me (remember the spirit in which I am saying this). I value our friendship as one of the greatest treasures I’ve ever had the fortune of having, knowing and experiencing. Have I mishandled it in the past? Guilty. Both of our track records have been tarnished, but that doesn’t diminish how much we value each other and the inherent divinity that is within us.

When you are scrutinized, criticized and question about being my friend that’s one thing. It hurts both, yes, but it is easily rectified by standing strong and firm in defense of our friendship. You’ve done that plenty of times. Even perfhaps when I was underserving of such defense. But when you have to censor our friendship for fear of the criticism you will receive as a result of it, then it becomes awkwardly and embarrassingly apparent that something is not right, especially when all it is is a friendship. A friendship. We’re not secret lovers. It’s a friendship.

I am proud to call you my friend. I am brag about you to whoever will listen, to promote you, speak highly of you and give you all of the accolades you’ve ever deserved and any chance I get. I’ve never had to hide our friendship from anyone. Never. I would publish it in major newspapers nationwide and broadcast it on syndicated radio and national television.

You see. I have no shame in being your friend. And if anyone every tried to guilt me, judge me, criticized me, harrass me or otherwise give me an ounce of crap over it, I would put them in their place so fast they would never think to open their mouths on the subject again.

I’m not saying you should feel or do the same. But because I am your friend first and foremost and because I care very much about your happiness and well-being. I think you would be better off if you had one less person to worry about pleasing. I’m sure you can agree with that much. It is so simple to please me, it really is (it’s the little things that just make my entire day!) but I haven’t always made it easy for you.

So I’m going to be proactive and remove myself from the list of people you have to worry about pleasing. Still friends? Of course, silly! We’re not about to dissolve a friendship that was firmly formed almost 2 years ago (likely before that in the grander scheme of things, aka: the Pre-Existence). But here I am with the proverbial scissors cutting the proverbial strings of our friendship. We remain friends only now because of our free will to do so, not because we feel as though we are still tied to each other and have to be because of some imagined obligation or nicety.

This, I believe will make our life a lot less stressful and all around easier. If anything, it will be a weight off of your shoulders, one you’ve shouldered like a champ, believe me *)

You’ve done more for me than some friends that I’ve known nearly 20 years! I love you and I will always be here for you as your friend and confidant. Take comfort in that if it brings you any.

Faithfully Your Friend

Jodi Arias

 

[wenwe4]

Note on BK's site - Jodi's journals #6 is some of TA's new journal (he is talking about wishing he had his lost journal back). Pg 6/45 also has pg #11 at the bottom

Dated 4/3/08 he says Jodi left that afternoon for Calif but came back later that evening. TA knows JA is having a hard time but he thinks they will both be better off once she moves. He says he dreamt of Lisa being nice to him. (didn't we speculate which date Jodi moved?)

 

[east2west]

Hope, I think your observations are spot on. I have to consider though the duality of her love/hate mentality. I think she continously fluctuated bewtween the two. I think what I mentioned upthread regarding what went down bewteen the May 16th email, the blow up at the end of May, and the tragic road trip to June 4th is also a consideration. June 4th is the culmination of her obsession. She dolled herself up for a reason. Wanting to win him back. She could have easily shot him when he was leaving his house without having to color her hair, brazilian, frappes, gas cans, selfies, etc. She documented her efforts by taking those selfies in the rental Ford Focus hours before the showdown. Make or Break. It ended up being a bust. Kill the obsession so she, herself could survive.

 

[Hope4More]

Note on BK's site - Jodi's journals #6 is some of TA's new journal (he is talking about wishing he had his lost journal back). Pg 6/45 also has pg #11 at the bottom

Dated 4/3/08 he says Jodi left that afternoon for Calif but came back later that evening. TA knows JA is having a hard time but he thinks they will both be better off once she moves. He says he dreamt of Lisa being nice to him. (didn't we speculate which date Jodi moved?)

Check out the 4 part chronology I posted in beginning of this thread....

 

[GigiG]

To have everything in one place: The May recognize email from JA to TA:


Travis,

Hey, there, I feel like sharing this with you. After all, you are my friend. It’s been a bit of a sore subject for both of us in the past and sometimes it feels like it continues to be, but I hope you’ll understand where I am coming from. I really hope you can stretch your mind and heart for this and put yourself in my shoes for the moment. I’m not saying you have to stay there nor do you have to agree with me, but I think if you give it an honest and sincere effort you will surely understand the way I feel, and why it is I sometimes feel this way.

I know the tone of an email or text message can sometime be ambiguous since the receiver is only interpreting what the tone of the sender would be if it were spoken, so please know that the spirit in which i send this is that of love, camaraderie, and amistad (friendship).

Here goes...

I realized after further introspection why it is that I asked you to give me a little mention in your next post as credit for the task of editing and grammar and typing the lengthly thing out. Partly, it is obvious. You gave your friend Katie a mention, and that was just for the intro. Logically, I am your friend, too. Your first chapter is at length and much longer, and so being the human that I am, it would make me feel good to have a little recognition thrown my way. But it goes deeper than that. I know I should be over this by now, and on most levels I am, really. But I feel that I never got the proper “credit” or recognition I deserved as your girlfriend. You say it is because you’re a private person. you say it was because of Deanna. You say it was because you were rather attached to the reputation of being a single, eligible bachelor. I understand all of that. I really do, and that’s okay, hon. I don’t harbor bad feelings over any of that stuff. I’m serious. You may be asking yourself why then the lengthly email detailing all of this, if that is in fact the case? Well, it’s a good thing this is in “writing” because if that is your question it has already been answered in the first paragraph of this email. Refer back to it if you wish. But my cry for a little recognition comes from a place within me that feels it was never adequately gratified in that it thirsted to be validated not just as some girl friend that you associated with, but as your girlfriend. I wasn’t asking for you to give me credit for all of your greatness, no. If I had anything to do with that then only a very tiny part, if at all. Though I was beginning to wonder if you were going to be able to subscribe to the philosophy that behind every great man there is a great woman, then that philosophy is a two way street, by the way.

I find myself now wishing to be recognized as your friend, and I think that comes from the fact that there is a hesitancy on your part to grant me that recognition within your entire circle of friends.

I’m going to digress a bit but I’m going to try tie it all together. Either way, this isn’t so much about flowing as it is purging.

About your mode of operation with Deanna, I both appreciated and despised it at the time. I could care less now. It was a double-edge sword for you. I know. For me as well. If Deanna was happy, Travis was happy, Jodi was Happy. True, you didn’t want to deal with her interrogations and emotions, and in large part, you wanted to protect her. Easily understandable for me, having the soft heart that I do when it comes to matters of romance and broken hearts. Protecting her? That is very characteristic of your sweeter, caring, considerate side. You’ve shown that to me as well on countless occasions. You are a bit of a people-pleaser, and that has been to my benefit and not. Again, it is a double-edged sword. You go out of your way to do things for me that will make me happy and you consider my feelings when doing certain things. I also realize it gets you tied up in certain ways. This incident about your blog, namely, where you don’t even want to give my name a mention because of the unwelcome crap and comments you receive by your friends, Chris and Sky Hughes. So there is a bit of people-pleasing going on it seems with more of your friendships beyond just the spectrum of ours.

Well, I’m going to make it easier for you. Given our history and the fact that we’ve dated and all, if any of your friendships should take the back burner it should be the one you have to hide from others. Don’t misunderstand me (remember the spirit in which I am saying this). I value our friendship as one of the greatest treasures I’ve ever had the fortune of having, knowing and experiencing. Have I mishandled it in the past? Guilty. Both of our track records have been tarnished, but that doesn’t diminish how much we value each other and the inherent divinity that is within us.

When you are scrutinized, criticized and question about being my friend that’s one thing. It hurts both, yes, but it is easily rectified by standing strong and firm in defense of our friendship. You’ve done that plenty of times. Even perfhaps when I was underserving of such defense. But when you have to censor our friendship for fear of the criticism you will receive as a result of it, then it becomes awkwardly and embarrassingly apparent that something is not right, especially when all it is is a friendship. A friendship. We’re not secret lovers. It’s a friendship.

I am proud to call you my friend. I am brag about you to whoever will listen, to promote you, speak highly of you and give you all of the accolades you’ve ever deserved and any chance I get. I’ve never had to hide our friendship from anyone. Never. I would publish it in major newspapers nationwide and broadcast it on syndicated radio and national television.

You see. I have no shame in being your friend. And if anyone every tried to guilt me, judge me, criticized me, harrass me or otherwise give me an ounce of crap over it, I would put them in their place so fast they would never think to open their mouths on the subject again.

I’m not saying you should feel or do the same. But because I am your friend first and foremost and because I care very much about your happiness and well-being. I think you would be better off if you had one less person to worry about pleasing. I’m sure you can agree with that much. It is so simple to please me, it really is (it’s the little things that just make my entire day!) but I haven’t always made it easy for you.

So I’m going to be proactive and remove myself from the list of people you have to worry about pleasing. Still friends? Of course, silly! We’re not about to dissolve a friendship that was firmly formed almost 2 years ago (likely before that in the grander scheme of things, aka: the Pre-Existence). But here I am with the proverbial scissors cutting the proverbial strings of our friendship. We remain friends only now because of our free will to do so, not because we feel as though we are still tied to each other and have to be because of some imagined obligation or nicety.

This, I believe will make our life a lot less stressful and all around easier. If anything, it will be a weight off of your shoulders, one you’ve shouldered like a champ, believe me *)

You’ve done more for me than some friends that I’ve known nearly 20 years! I love you and I will always be here for you as your friend and confidant. Take comfort in that if it brings you any.

Faithfully Your Friend

Jodi Arias

----------------------------

OMG!!!! That makes me want to bang my head against a wall! Poor Travis put up with her for so long, and if this is but ONE example, my heart goes out to him even more!

 

[Hope4More]

Hope, I think your observations are spot on. I have to consider though the duality of her love/hate mentality. I think she continously fluctuated bewtween the two. I think what I mentioned upthread regarding what went down bewteen the May 16th email, the blow up at the end of May, and the tragic road trip to June 4th is also a consideration. June 4th is the culmination of her obsession. She dolled herself up for a reason. Wanting to win him back. She could have easily shot him when he was leaving his house without having to color her hair, brazilian, frappes, gas cans, selfies, etc. She documented her efforts by taking those selfies in the rental Ford Focus hours before the showdown. Make or Break. It ended up being a bust. Kill the obsession so she, herself could survive.

East....this is when I plead ignorance. I read all BritsKate's wonderfully informative posts about BPD and narcissistic disorders, and I've listened to all the psych testimony, and I understand what's being said, but it is so alien to me I can't really apply it to a particular JA event or thought or motivation.

I THINK she flipped the switch to all hate and murder on May 26 (if not before), but really don't know. I can't believe she entertained any hope that he would marry her, but maybe even that's wrong. Maybe she was so demented she thought that if she destroyed every one of his marriage prospects he would turn to her in desperation. Doesn't make a lick of sense to me that she would think that, but...

IMO her thinking would have to have been that twisted to think she had any chance of going to Cancun with him, or of him realizing he'd made a mistake about her, or ....something other than what I do think....that she did all that because she was determined to have sex with him to harm him. That she didn't just shoot him in his sleep because she wanted him to see her as she killed him in the most painful up close way she could.....

 

[fanofws]

I don't think I'd ever put together how bad that whole month of May was for both of them. I think the fight on the 26th was really just an extension of the first one on the 7th. IMO, she knew after the 7th that she had lost him forever. She was gone, and she had no chance at getting him back. With him not having sex with her, she became more and more convinced that he would eventually tell all her secrets to everyone. So she begin planting proof of his/their secrets. I am convinced now that she was planning to murder him beginning around the early part of May.

I'd like to state first that I'm a newbie to WS's and was so excited and impressed with this forum and having been lurking everyday! Thank you all for all of your informative comments. I to believe that JA started to formulate her plan to murder TA long before she left Mesa. She was absolutely fuming that he had rejected her. Thanks to WS's...I've gleaned the following; JA steals TA's journal because it reflects the truth of their relationship. 'JA writes in her journal that Matt was in Mesa before she left the final time? and that he saw bruises around her neck and told her to get a restraining order and she said she was leaving in two days.' ( I think if there is any truth to this she could have used make-up to make it appear as if she had bruises to sucker in Matt as a witness after the fact.) It was the beginning of her diabolical plan to fabricate evidence with emails/texts/recordings and manipulate poor TA into coming to Yreka to fulfill the little red riding hood/big bad wolf fantasy! In the original trial I often wondered why she used the ridiculous excuse for the knife being readily handy for her self defense....it's because that was going to be the excuse used in her original plan... ie...we brought the knife to cut the rope for the tied to the tree fantasy...that went so terrible wrong...I knew TA was jealous/had double standards/had some anger issues but if you read my journals you will see how much I loved him and could never say no to him and I never realized just how troubled and disturbed he really was! He attacked me and thank god the knife was handy....I was only defending myself when his fantasy turned into a real life nightmare of him attacking/raping me/
Thus she believed she could kill two birds with one stone....murder him and forever tarnish his reputation. (she didn't need a gun...because somehow she had a plan to convince him to also be tied to the tree where he would be disabled, stab/kill him, stage the scene. Her plan went awry when she realized that he was not going to be lured into her plan of him coming to her.....she went into panic mode May 26/08 because her window of opportunity was closing and quickly formulated plan B which included the stolen gun to overpower him only if needed....I believe because of her rage and past M.O. she always intended to murder him using the knife and that's why I believe that the gun shot was last. There is so much more to say but I am unable to express all of it in this post. If my syntax does not make sense to some it is because I have a deficit that affects the way I write and express myself(I have been very reluctant to state my thoughts)....I work daily to overcome this very frustrating deficit but I'm not always successful. Anyways I know sleuthers will correct me if I'm wrong or off track...that's what I love about this forum, everything that is posted is a search for the truth and a honest dialog to reach that goal.

 

[I'mjazzed]

April 8. I don't believe the "pleasant conversation" texts are genuine. In her guilt phase testimony JA was anxious to explain away and disguise how bad the April 7th fight was. It was bad.

Travis did not text her to say pleasant things shortly afterward, IMO. Just don't see it. Look at both April 7 and April 8th texts and see what sense pleasant in between makes...

I agree with you. It's just so out there and doesn't fit with the other texts. Sounds just like cmja too.