When you have a child like this, you start mothering "by the book" as I call it. In other words, you are no longer enjoying the mothering but you still love, so you are determined to fulfill your obligations to the best of your ability.
You still say, "Don't hit your brother. You're getting at time out for not respecting your sister's privacy...." etc. But you know in your heart he will do it again and you can't stop him. We teach out children how to behave and they want to please us as little children, they want their Mommy's approval.
But what happens when a child DOESN'T CARE about your approval?
In spite of the lack of reward, we mothers trudge on. They used to call us "refrigerator mothers" if our child was autistic. They are unresponsive, the doctors said, because their mothers are cold.
You know you are n't cold, you know you are a loving mother, you have other children who are normal. But you are out in public with a problem child and people give you dirty looks. Like you haven't taught them or you are somehow responsible that they knocked over the display on purpose and think it's funny.
I have sympathy for her mother because she has endured this stigma all her life. Strangers have also telephoned me reporting that my son did this or that, was acting up, was in trouble, had stolen something, hurt somebody and he should get some professional help. Well he did get professional help and there's nothing anybody could do. So you just thank the person for the phone call and get back to cooking.
You have a life, you have other children. You get used to the fact that one of your children is not normal and you ignore the reactions of other people. That's what her mother is doing--and that wall is very strong because she has had years of torture from this monster. Don't kid yourself, she's been bitten, threatened, punched, tricked, villified, the worst.
I called the police regularly over the marijuana, the stealing of my car, the invasion of my privacy and I could go on for pages-- but here's just one example. He stole my wedding ring and pawned it. I called the police; they said they can do nothing about it because it's my son and told me to "see if I can get him to give it back to me." I marched down to the pawn shop and found it there and called the police and told them where it was. After many of these experience, they offered me a job! Said I was good at law enforcement.
Because that's what mothering becomes when you have a sociopath. You begin to think more of your responsibility to protect innocent bystanders who might not realize that your boy might hurt their child or their pet.
Those who blame Jodi's mother or her aunt because they laughed or because of the expression on their faces? You walk a mile in her moccasins, my friends. Imagine owning and running a restaurant with that daughter in your employ...stealing from the cash register, humping in the pantry, going out to their cars with boys and that's when she's not crying or having an angry tantrum in front of customers. Finally you ban her. What can you do? Now she is raging at you, sneaking out at night and telling the whole town you beat her.
That stoicism you see says this, "My child is a monster and I still love her. I am her mother and I will be here for her, including the day they take her life"
