trial day 39: the defense continues its case in chief #117

[Liebchenmutti]

When you have a child like this, you start mothering "by the book" as I call it. In other words, you are no longer enjoying the mothering but you still love, so you are determined to fulfill your obligations to the best of your ability.

You still say, "Don't hit your brother. You're getting at time out for not respecting your sister's privacy...." etc. But you know in your heart he will do it again and you can't stop him. We teach out children how to behave and they want to please us as little children, they want their Mommy's approval.

But what happens when a child DOESN'T CARE about your approval?

In spite of the lack of reward, we mothers trudge on. They used to call us "refrigerator mothers" if our child was autistic. They are unresponsive, the doctors said, because their mothers are cold.

You know you are n't cold, you know you are a loving mother, you have other children who are normal. But you are out in public with a problem child and people give you dirty looks. Like you haven't taught them or you are somehow responsible that they knocked over the display on purpose and think it's funny.

I have sympathy for her mother because she has endured this stigma all her life. Strangers have also telephoned me reporting that my son did this or that, was acting up, was in trouble, had stolen something, hurt somebody and he should get some professional help. Well he did get professional help and there's nothing anybody could do. So you just thank the person for the phone call and get back to cooking.

You have a life, you have other children. You get used to the fact that one of your children is not normal and you ignore the reactions of other people. That's what her mother is doing--and that wall is very strong because she has had years of torture from this monster. Don't kid yourself, she's been bitten, threatened, punched, tricked, villified, the worst.

I called the police regularly over the marijuana, the stealing of my car, the invasion of my privacy and I could go on for pages-- but here's just one example. He stole my wedding ring and pawned it. I called the police; they said they can do nothing about it because it's my son and told me to "see if I can get him to give it back to me." I marched down to the pawn shop and found it there and called the police and told them where it was. After many of these experience, they offered me a job! Said I was good at law enforcement.

Because that's what mothering becomes when you have a sociopath. You begin to think more of your responsibility to protect innocent bystanders who might not realize that your boy might hurt their child or their pet.

Those who blame Jodi's mother or her aunt because they laughed or because of the expression on their faces? You walk a mile in her moccasins, my friends. Imagine owning and running a restaurant with that daughter in your employ...stealing from the cash register, humping in the pantry, going out to their cars with boys and that's when she's not crying or having an angry tantrum in front of customers. Finally you ban her. What can you do? Now she is raging at you, sneaking out at night and telling the whole town you beat her.

That stoicism you see says this, "My child is a monster and I still love her. I am her mother and I will be here for her, including the day they take her life"

Wow. Many hugs!!! My 5yo son is autistic, so I know *a little* of what you've been through. Prayers for you!

 

[Truth Detector]

BBM

WS'ers didn't name the dog, the defendant told Detective Flores the dog's name was Doggy Boy.



Arias admits she kicked dog before it "ran away"

Thanks!

That's even better!

This was the dog they kept tied up but it was somehow untied when she kicked it in the head, right?

That dog knows how we feel every time Sherry Stephens allows JA and Team Jodi to slander the victim in Maricopa County Superior Court; i.e., kicked in the head.

 

[gngr~snap]

[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9151456&postcount=626"]Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - trial day 39: the defense continues its case in chief #117[/ame]

I wanted to correct an error I made in this post.
I stated I thought JA was watching juror #18
That should be juror #10 (Barb)

Don't know why I put down the wrong number there.

I think JA wants to be judged by a jury of "men"
because she thinks they will feel sorry for her and let her go.
She has to get rid of the good looking women
so that the men won't be swayed by their beauty.

I think this whole ALV is ticking the men off!

 

[Ammonitida]

I know! JW is going day by day by day through the journal and asking blah blah blah. JA testified to all this crap so why AL is even allowed to give her opinion on each and every entry is beyond me. What a farce! Grrrrrrr!

She's the "expert" -- giving her "expert" opinion on Jodi's actions. It's not enough that Jodi testified to it as she's not an expert. It's not unusual.

 

[Sleuth5]

Wha???? They test all schoolteachers and keep a record of their collective IQs? Who knew? :what:
I had no idea that schoolteachers were on the "not very high" scale of IQs. Wow, you learn something every day. I'm so disappointed that all those wonderful, intelligent teachers I know aren't really geniuses. Not a one of them. Shucks. My husband, too. Nope, not a genius among them. Just barely above average. Good thing none of them ever wanted to be a lawyer or doctor or rocket scientist. (Just wanted to teach people how to be lawyers, doctors, and rocket scientists. With their barely adequate IQs.)

If I had had any idea of how average I was, I would have never bothered to get a doctorate.

 

[Novice Seeker]

I have a huge problem with a judge who lets in all these hearsay twice-removed lies.

Sherry Stephens ceded her courtroom to the defense the moment JA took the stand and hasn't looked back since.

I agree 100%. Really wish there was someone with authority over this judge who could address these issues. Seriously, the DT's behavior is so unprofessional and childish it's pathetic. All three of them are need to be counseled, preferably asap.

 

[pip]

ITA.

He was just a placeholder for her. Just a way for her to pass time and a place for her to live while she looked for the person to give her the lifestyle she really wanted. Once she found Travis, she dumped Darryl and never looked back. I think she was the one who was never interested in marrying Darryl.

She used him like she has used everyone else in her life. We are all put on this earth to serve JA dontcha know! It's her world, we just live in it! :twocents:

I agree. She had bigger plans that didn't include marrying older, average Darryl with a kid, and settling down to a middle class life of domesticity and waitressing. I think she was looking for a way out for awhile.

 

[anagrammy]

Geeeze..... this is unimaginable. So sad. Bless your heart.

I have a question for you if you will - How do you think Jodi's parents feel towards Travis' family? Do you think they blame themselves for what she's done? Is there any sort of relief for them now that she's in jail, forever?

I read your post about why you feel the DP is necessary for her. That was so well explained. I agree.

Thanks so much for your insights on this. I appreciate it!

Thanks you for your kind words. I do not believe anyone comes out of raising a child like JA unscathed. There is collateral damage. The child closest to my sociopath had a psychotic break and ended up damaged for life, partly due to the abuse he suffered as a child. His other brothers all suffered from drug addiction and alcoholism and are still dealing with it to this very day (one of them is in rehab right now).

For Jodi's parents the questions in their own minds will never end. Like the torment of the schizophrenic, an inner voice is always suggesting things you could have done differently. It quiets the voice of self-accusation when you project it on others.

Projection and Reaction Formation are two of the most common defense mechanisms we humans have. You see them being employed by Jodi's family to distract from that which is too gruesome to contemplate. Far better be arguing about ribbons than thinking about what you could have done differently.

 

[Ricki]

It's basically the hallmark of the defense strategy.

You know, I believe if someone came in to the view the trial knowing nothing much about it, that person would not know who was actually on trial. The DF team is trying to muddy the waters with religion and domestic violence.

 

[molly333]

It really bothers me that ALV described cheating behaviors as forms of psychological abuse. Without question they cause pain and emotional trauma but one of the key characteristics of an abuser is that they intend to cause these things as a primary motive. A cheater is careless with other's feelings but quite opposite of the abuser, he/she will usually expend quite a bit of energy to avoid discovery by the involved parties. If the standard for abuse is simply "anything hurtful" then forgetting an anniversary is abuse, not snuggling long enough after sex is abuse, going out drinking with the guys is abuse, etc.

Cheating in a relationship involves deception, betrayal, a lack of respect for the partner, for both women really, self centeredness, and a corrosive force on the relationship. Like ALV said, cheaters [men] often feel guilty and they will act out this guilt as anger at their innocent partner. [How many women who cheat with married men know about this or even consider it? How many know they are putting the cheater's partner and children at risk? They should, because they are complicit.] But, in this case, Travis wasn't married, so he was deceiving both women, yet all of the above still applied. Another problem is that the innocent partner may sense it, may suspect it, but the cheater will continually deny it, making the innocent partner feel guilty and crazy. It is part of the abusive spectrum in any relationship.

So, ALV is right about this, imo. But, Jodi had every chance to see the handwriting on the wall and get out of a short term relationship. She didn't. And, staying in that type of relationship, where you are allowing yourself, for whatever reason [usually it's children] to be continually disrepected and devalued eventually causes rage, which is exactly what we saw on June 4, 2008.

IMO

 

[hindsight2020]

Good Morning Everyone!:seeya:

JW is really dragging this DV issue without any proof or corroborating evidence thereof, unreal, this trial has ran its course and some, hopefully she will be finished today and we will get to see JM. I barely watched yesterday and I may not do so today, if only there was an alert when JM cross turn comes up, lol, I surely do not want to miss his cross of ALV.

Another poster on here mentioned, DT may be dragging this intentionally, the longer it goes, the more opportunity that exists for a mistrial, I agree, this may well be true. I hope that a mistrial does not happen, so much time/money invested in this trial for this defendant is just not worth it, especially for Travis' family. It's already been 5 years too long, this family deserves justice!

 

[Nhic]

anagrammy, I would love to read your post concerning the DP. Can you tell me where it is please? lease:

 

[G&AMom]

What I am saying is:
without coming right out to say it.
Obviously it is no mystery who stole the stuff...:twocents:

I agree! I just think arguing that it had to be her because nobody would rob that house was incorrect.

I tend to nitpick. :blushing:

 

[cricket49]

ITA.

He was just a placeholder for her. Just a way for her to pass time and a place for her to live while she looked for the person to give her the lifestyle she really wanted. Once she found Travis, she dumped Darryl and never looked back. I think she was the one who was never interested in marrying Darryl.

She used him like she has used everyone else in her life. We are all put on this earth to serve JA dontcha know! It's her world, we just live in it! :twocents:

Didn't Darryl buy Jodi her breast implants? Totally OT, but, can you really buy breast implants for $300 ? :what:

 

[Ricki]

ALV was certainly confused on that point. She memorized the Spidey briefs, but almost forgot the shirt and totally blanked on the 'boy short' undies which she stated plainly that she didn't remember at all.

Reminded me of Dr. Scamuels and Jodi's June 4, 94-degree sweater. And don't forget the shooting of Travis low like a linebacker that happened in or near the closet as opposed to the middle of the bathroom.

To quote the lying torture-murderess herself: They "couldn't keep [their] lies straight."

I also think she has not read all the emails and journal entry's. Yesterday, intently reading one of the entry's as if she had never seen it before.

 

[Kensie]

Please don't get mad at me but I thought of this this morning while getting ready for work. For the most part we totally despise JW and KM with good reason. I got to thinking that they are doing a good job for the piece of trash that they represent.
This trial is now in month 4 with ZERO evidence that the slaughter of TA was self defense. Based on the hard cold facts, this trial should have been over in a week.
Month 4 and we are still hearing about the damn journals. I am ready to burn them.

Juror #5 should come out blasting that believed the wicked witch!!!!

 

[Sleuth5]

BBM

Allegedly -- according to the lying torture-murderess -- the woman whom TA was "making out with" while Arias was peeping in the back window of his house was "a girl from Phoenix" whom their other friends didn't know and ostensibly wasn't Mormon.

Lacking any other corroboration, consider the source.

Good point.

 

[Novice Seeker]

She's the "expert" -- giving her "expert" opinion on Jodi's actions. It's not enough that Jodi testified to it as she's not an expert. It's not unusual.

She's giving expert opinions on matters that she isn't qualified to give and about people she has never interviewed. The biased, prejudicial opinions ALV is giving are in contradiction of the opinion of an expert.

 

[ElleElle]

Good morning!

Was thinking... lol. Maybe the DT "tried" to give up on Jodi because maybe, just maybe they wanted her to plea insanity.

I can picture Jodi saying: "I'm not crazy, Travis abused me!" :coffeews:

Let's hope there are no interruptions today and the DT can finish up and get Juan up.

 

[Ramblinrose01]

A couple of months, while walking into a PX on an Army base, I passed a vendor in the mall selling those same products -- shirts and shorts that could be personalized on the spot to say "Bobby's Girl" or "I belong to Joe'"etc. There were quite a few customers.

This was a day when 1500 young men and women had just graduated from basic training and were preparing to leave for their next year's assignment.

While I viewed such clothing as tacky and sexist, I guess some people could see them as "commitment garments" -- a cheap cotton jersey version of an engagement ring or other token.

I could easily see JA purchasing these for herself. And, yes, she could have purchased the iron-on letters from any craft supplier and made her own "personalized" garments.

I hate to admit this :facepalm:, but when I was about 15 (in 1970) I bought a couple of shirts like this at Six Flags over Tx for me and my boyfriend. They were even worse than the "Travis Alexander's" shirt. One said Master and the other said Slave. At that time I thought they were cute and that it was cool to "belong" to a guy! SHEESH.
In the picture of JA wearing the TA's shirt she looks quite pleased with it! (Of course, I have always thought she viewed her "love life" with about the emotional mentality of a 15 yr. old. :what: