kaydono
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If your daughter turned out fine, then IMO you should give yourself a pat on the back!
JA's sister has been in drug rehab, that much I know. Clearly there is/was a serious problem in the family. JA's mother was abused by JA, JA lied her way out of everything growing up and her parents bought into her bs. They would have known she was bs'ing but likely couldn't be bothered about it. I know someone with a kid similar - lies about everything, uses people etc. Of course the mother tells me how she tries this and that (similar to what your friends have told you), but I also know that the mother gives into the kid all the time because she "doesn't want the fight".<--- BIG MISTAKE!
Raising kids is hard, nobody said it was a walk in the park. Nobody who has kids would claim (with any sanity) that raising them was a piece of cake. It's damn hard at times.
Your friends' kid may be a sociopath. Was she diagnosed as such? Is she in treatment now? Is she being monitored, or is she free to do whatever she wants?
As a parent, you can put a genuine effort instilling morals, and empathy in your kids, and just hope and pray that it stays within them through out their lives.