Decloaking for a wee while:
BD to me seems to be *easily led*.
She is in a relationship with a younger man, and at 33 has two teen children and her job prospects have been somewhat lax of late (be it drug related or not). She is a very insecure woman. Now, give her a power-hungry younger boyfriend (who no doubt told her on a regular basis how *lucky* she was to have him, and how hard she'd have to work to keep him *Gag*). Her self esteem issues are through the roof. Even looking back at her marriage, she tends to be with men who dominate her, *bad boys* who she clings to. This to me would explain her comments about not knowing what was going to happen with SA. She has so lost herself in him that she is trying to rationalise a way back to him.
Someone here has previously said she might have a learning disorder. I don't think thats the case. Do you ever meet someone and think to yourself "How on earth do you dress yourself in the morning?". Well, she gives me a *hint* of that. Not quite that bad though. Its more her psychological *need* to be in relationships with *bad boys* that makes her this way. She has no or little self respect, so she looks for men who she can put on a pedestal, someone she thinks is *special* (in SA case, because he is younger perhaps?). She seems to look for men who will suck the life and her personality out of her, and her kids and just along for the ride.
She does have some traits of an abused woman, but (and I hate to say this) I think that is who she is psychologically. Always a victim, but *needs* to be that way (again, her comments on SA). The older son probably knows this, Hailey may have too, which is incredibly sad.
In this whole situation, she is in *over her head*. Most people who have loved ones vanished are in this boat also, but the *reality* she has constructed for herself (in which SA is the most important thing in her world) has been pulled out from underneath her. I don't know if she had anything to do with hailey going missing, but she is treading water trying to get her *imagined* life back. Trying to be a teenager, to make up for the years she *lost* whilst nursing and changing nappies perhaps? Would explain why the kids seemed to want to stay at others homes often, a lack of stability at home?
As far as SA, if police were to visit my home they'd find a lot of horror films, true crime books, psychological texts.
What I fail to understand is why mom i not sitting in a car across from SA's home, stalking him till he gives her an answer. Knocking on his door 10 times every hour to ask "what do you know?". Walking down the street behind him, chanting "tell me what happened, tell me what happened" over and over again. I think that if she does not know what has happened, she still *knows*.
I apologise if any of this is in violation of WS terms, I have been through them to check but my definition of them could be very different from someone else. This is in no way a *character assasination*, its just my observations of her behavior in the public domain. And please mods feel free to edit as you see fit. I have been watching how hard the mods have been working in this thread, and its been hard enough for me just to keep up!
Also, this is all Imoo and apologies about any spelling errors, its very early here.