TX - Hailey Dunn, 13, Colorado City, 27 Dec 2010 - #47

[Pondering Mind]

Klonopin was prescribed for me for GAD and depression, but did much of nothing for me. I know that it is a desired black market drug, but after taking it I found myself a little surprised at that given I really couldn't tell a difference. My Dr changed it to xanax which I prefer but it makes me sleepy..tried valium and it helped, but not as much as xanax..it did have the benefit of not making me sleepy though. I have been prescribed one or the other for years, but definitely have a healthy respect for them all and they do scare me. I've never gone up on my dosage, so it's not like I can really feel anything anymore when I do take one.

 

[SmoothOperator]

Yes..passion..it certainly does have shades of Misty Croslin..jailhouse tapes that she is rolling her head around..with some WT attitude saying"...and once I get outta here they all gonna kiss my azz and see I didn't have chit to do with that little girl missin'..and they all gonna owe me a big nationwide apology!"..and we then saw mom feeding right in Misty's delusions saying "oh yes honey..they gonna owe you big time apologies..and we gonna see to it that you get em' baby"..

I was very disturbed when I read that statement from Billie in the news article from this evening.. Not only the over the top statements of.."once I get Hailey home"..yea right...we certainly do wish that were indeed the case amd that it was like Billie stated.."Hailey come home when you get ready"...pluh-eeze..It wasn't all of those things that was disturbing it was the obvious emphasis that she put on the "slander and libel"..and how we better bet and better believe that she will indeed tend to those matters regarding her character being assassinated {basically stating there would be a law suit..and IMO it was stated as if a warning to those who dare continue with what she calls the "character asassinations"}..

Note to self oughta be..In order bring any type of lawsuit regarding slander and libelous statements and character assassination..that THE STATEMENTS THAT SHE IS CALLING "SLANDEROUS" OR "LIBELOUS" MUST BE ABLE TO BE PROVEN THAT THERE IS NO BASIS NOR TRUTH TO WHAT IS BEING SAID{i.e. when the statements are not slandering rather they are only observations made directly of the statements and actions of none other than BILLIE HERSELF}..and are proven to indeed be accurate and true..WELL..THERE WILL BE NO LAWSUIT NOR ANY BASIS OF EVEN THINKING ABOUT HAVING A LAW SUIT..

Disturbing in many ways.. not seeing or being able to accurately access one's own actions and statements..disturbing that one cannot see one's self for who and what it is.. disturbing that this{Billie being slandered} was given MUCH MUCH MORE EMPHASIS than any pleas for Hailey's return..

Disturbing and sad..imo

Since I didn't make it in time for the cut-off of my little blue edit button.. I'm just tacking my ETA that I was attempting to post to my ^above^ quote replying to gngr~snap..So here goes:

~ETA~ETA~ can you tell that I'm literally running on fumes at this point with my eyeballs propped open with toothpicks between the lids..lol..
Am sorry for mis-quoting you..gngr~snap..I guess I'm becoming a lil' delusional now as well..lol. as I knew I was quoting gingr but my little fingers typing didn't receive that info..and somehow they just typed out passion..lol.. sorry to mis - quote:blushing:

 

[OneLove]

Some doctors will prescribe Klonopin without psychosis being present, but this is bad medicine.
Although it is in the same class of benzos as Xanax, it is a drug that is to be prescribed for someone who is experiencing psychosis along with panic/anxiety.
It also has a strong anti-convulsant property.
It should never be used in patients with bipolar disorder, preexisting depression or in those with addictive personalities.
Alcohol is a definite no-no with Klonopin!!
The use of this drug with alcohol can cause suicidal/homicidal ideation.It should not be used with narcotics without blood testing and careful monitoring.

Anyone know SA's drinking habits?

 

[Pondering Mind]

Some doctors will prescribe Klonopin without psychosis being present, but this is bad medicine.
Although it is in the same class of benzos as Xanax, it is a drug that is to be prescribed for someone who is experiencing psychosis along with panic/anxiety.
It also has a strong anti-convulsant property.
It should never be used in patients with bipolar disorder, preexisting depression or in those with addictive personalities.
Alcohol is a definite no-no with Klonopin!!
The use of this drug with alcohol can cause suicidal/homicidal ideation.
It should not be used with narcotics without blood testing and careful monitoring.

That's really interesting because my doc would rather prescribe klonopin instead of xanax, I wonder why?

 

[gngr~snap]

Couple that with the odd and creepy statement of BD's that she didn't actually "touch" her daughter so wasn't entirely sure.....
Even back then when that statement was released, it resonated off-key, almost as a backwards subconscious statement of possibly knowing that Hailey was in that bed but she wasn't sure she was still living and breathing?? Did she have reason to believe Hailey had ingested benzo's in a strong enough dose to be....harmful? Did she think Hailey may have been "sleeping it off" but couldn't bring herself to touch her to be sure she was still breathing? Did SA go back that day to check on it/take care of it? Was "deer-in-headlights" still in the process of taking care of it?

All that follows is MOO.
IMO- the only alarm that sounded that morning was BD's alarm CLOCK. To wake her for work.
IMO BD got up and began to prepare for work. Whatever her routine was.
IMO- at some point BD realized something was "off". ( maybe she had no recall of going to bed)- or woke up in a strange location in the home. Maybe not wearing what she last recalled putting on or being naked yet not remembering removing her clothes ???
IMO - based on whatever confused her she went to the couch where HD usually slept and HD WAS NOT THERE!
IMO - she THEN checked HD's room and THAT is what "eased her mind"
IMO- she did panic for a second, saw what she convinced herself to be HD ... and may have even called SA to confirm.
..Did Hailey sleep in her bed last night? and/or Did I pass out last night? OR I Didn't hear u (SA) get up/ get ready this AM. OR why did ya leave last night




I dunno! But IMO.

BD has no memory of the nigh of Dec 26... and may be too embarrassed to admit she was unconscious and woke to no memory...

IMO THAT is where she refuses to allow herself to go. She may know full well SA is behind it all... But that it started because she was slipped something unknowingly ... I can almost see her internal delimma
but
IMO - after a week(ish)
after SA leaving/kicked out whatever
Times up. She waited until she's now complicit. SHE did not protect her child. and all she can do at this point os hold onto HOPE or lies
IMO the poor girl is too scared to face the the truth, and the implications of the possible number of times she possibly awoke under similar circumstances with the single difference being HD was asleep on the couch like always.
MOO!
My apologies if this gets posted twice
my cell blipped * thought I lost my post!

 

[SNOWINMEMPHIS]

Can you explain this more for me? I'm interested in what that means, I'm just not sure I understand it. BBM

I will try:
In psychosis, there is a severe loss of contact with reality, evidenced by delusions (paranoid beliefs not based in fact), disorganized speech patterns, bizarre behavior and hallucinations.
Psychotic episodes can, and OFTEN are, caused from substance abuse from prescription drugs.
In such a state, a person expresses unusual and sometimes macabre ideas (like thinking they can read minds).[This bugs me because of the printed material found in their bedroom about Aleister Crowley].
Continuing in this vein, the person hears voices that aren't there, fantasizes about blood and gore (not all do), and have problems with perception, affect, sense of self and interpersonal relationships.
Unfamiliar religious or occult rituals may be a sign of psychosis.
When working with a psychotic, most professionals sit close to the door so that they can make a safe exit if needed.
In this case, it would seem that if psychosis were present, it would be of the drug-induced variety, but one never knows.
Jung had the theory of the "shadow self". IOW, that everyone has a dark side, whether they are aware of it or not.
The splitting occurs when the dark side takes over and the "seeing" part of the mind is aware of what the shadow self is doing and cannot stop the actions of this "doing" part.
From this comes great anxiety and panic and psychosis.
JMO

 

[OneLove]

Since I didn't make it in time for the cut-off of my little blue edit button.. I'm just tacking my ETA that I was attempting to post to my ^above^ quote replying to gngr~snap..So here goes:

~ETA~ETA~ can you tell that I'm literally running on fumes at this point with my eyeballs propped open with toothpicks between the lids..lol..
Am sorry for mis-quoting you..gngr~snap..I guess I'm becoming a lil' delusional now as well..lol. as I knew I was quoting gingr but my little fingers typing didn't receive that info..and somehow they just typed out passion..lol.. sorry to mis - quote:blushing:

:shocked2::shocked2::shocked2:

Yeah, my eyes will NOT be thanking me tomorrow for tonights marathon. Hope you can catch a few zzz's and refresh those much-needed eyeballs. We NEED them here at WS's, lol.

 

[Pondering Mind]

Since I didn't make it in time for the cut-off of my little blue edit button.. I'm just tacking my ETA that I was attempting to post to my ^above^ quote replying to gngr~snap..So here goes:

~ETA~ETA~ can you tell that I'm literally running on fumes at this point with my eyeballs propped open with toothpicks between the lids..lol..
Am sorry for mis-quoting you..gngr~snap..I guess I'm becoming a lil' delusional now as well..lol. as I knew I was quoting gingr but my little fingers typing didn't receive that info..and somehow they just typed out passion..lol.. sorry to mis - quote:blushing:

I kept missing you earlier...and wanted to tell you what an AWESOME job on the t-shirts..Thank You So Much for everything you are doing for Hailey!

 

[SuperChicken]

Sorrel Skye, you mentioned awhile back something about Billie being afraid of finding Hailey "in the dirt" and I vaguely remember something about some lyrics being found that contained a line about filling a girl's mouth with dirt. Does anyone know what I am talking about? Were these lyrics from ICP, were they among SA's things, and did SA consider himself a 'jugaloo"? I'd say Insane Clown Posse and psychosis would NOT be a good mix.

I know we're discussing serious issues tonight, and I am certainly trying my best to help, but that was hilarious....I'm just saying. I'm with you OL, Insane Clown Posse...really? I miss the Eagles.....:seeya:

 

[OneLove]

I will try:
In psychosis, there is a severe loss of contact with reality, evidenced by delusions (paranoid beliefs not based in fact), disorganized speech patterns, bizarre behavior and hallucinations.
Psychotic episodes can, and OFTEN are, caused from substance abuse from prescription drugs.
In such a state, a person expresses unusual and sometimes macabre ideas (like thinking they can read minds).[This bugs me because of the printed material found in their bedroom about Aleister Crowley].
Continuing in this vein, the person hears voices that aren't there, fantasizes about blood and gore (not all do), and have problems with perception, affect, sense of self and interpersonal relationships.
Unfamiliar religious or occult rituals may be a sign of psychosis.
When working with a psychotic, most professionals sit close to the door so that they can make a safe exit if needed.
In this case, it would seem that if psychosis were present, it would be of the drug-induced variety, but one never knows.
Jung had the theory of the "shadow self". IOW, that everyone has a dark side, whether they are aware of it or not.
The splitting occurs when the dark side takes over and the "seeing" part of the mind is aware of what the shadow self is doing and cannot stop the actions of this "doing" part.From this comes great anxiety and panic and psychosis.
JMO

This is about the way that Dennis Rader, otherwise known as BTL, described his state of mind during his murderous activities.

ETA: I'm guessing that might explain the seemingly compulsive murders of Karla Homolka also.

 

[sorrell skye]

I know we're discussing serious issues tonight, and I am certainly trying my best to help, but that was hilarious....I'm just saying. I'm with you OL, Insane Clown Posse...really? I miss the Eagles.....:seeya:

BBM

I miss Dan Fogelberg.

He was my first love.

 

[SuperChicken]

That's incredible and terrifying. Where in the world is Hailey? I can't imagine the potential insanity of it all.

 

[Pondering Mind]

I know we're discussing serious issues tonight, and I am certainly trying my best to help, but that was hilarious....I'm just saying. I'm with you OL, Insane Clown Posse...really? I miss the Eagles.....:seeya:

Love, love, the Eagles...mostly early Eagles, but when they played 'Love Will Keep Us Alive' at my daughters wedding, I just lost it..


clarification...the Eagles DID NOT play at my daughters wedding...the song was played, lol!

 

[gngr~snap]

Since I didn't make it in time for the cut-off of my little blue edit button.. I'm just tacking my ETA that I was attempting to post to my ^above^ quote replying to gngr~snap..So here goes:

~ETA~ETA~ can you tell that I'm literally running on fumes at this point with my eyeballs propped open with toothpicks between the lids..lol..
Am sorry for mis-quoting you..gngr~snap..I guess I'm becoming a lil' delusional now as well..lol. as I knew I was quoting gingr but my little fingers typing didn't receive that info..and somehow they just typed out passion..lol.. sorry to mis - quote:blushing:

= ) No worries! I knew what cha meant. :hug:

 

[dixiegirl]

TY OneLove! Although I speak here often about the loss of 2 sons many years ago, I always hesitate to mention them 'upstairs' here even though obviously it is just one of the many reasons I am so passionate about our children. It's been a long time ago and I'm always worried that some may think I'm looking for sympathy or something of the like. In reality I started a thread in basement years ago on one of the anniversaries of their birth or death (can't remember which now) when I was at a very low point in my life and I NEEDED to talk about them. WS has been a blessing to me in more ways than one as it gave me an outlet in which to remember them since in real life, I have no one that really acknowledges that they ever existed. Neither one of my living children (grown now) were born when my oldest died of SIDS and my daughter was only 3 or 4 when I lost the 2nd..my youngest son of course wasn't born at either time. They know about them..but you know what they say..you don't miss what you never had and they never had them to remember them. My ex doesn't even see my 2 living children or their children (my precious grandchildren) and my mom and sis have never seemed to want to talk about them..and go on like they were never here. (and believe me, it's not because it's difficult for them to do) It's made it very difficult over the years when you feel like nobody but you ever loved them and thinks of them..and I do every single day. The peeps here have been like family and that means everything in the world to me and I hope that they know that..

Lordy, did not mean to go so far OT..I laid in the bed for over an hour not able to get Hailey off my mind..so I apologize for being 'punch drunk' lol! Think I'm going to try and give it another shot though!

I am sorry for the loss of your children, even more sorry that nobody close to you thinks about them. I can understand where you are coming from...
(((((((hugs)))))))) please know that even strangers sometimes has more sympathy than those closest to us.

 

[SNOWINMEMPHIS]

That's really interesting because my doc would rather prescribe klonopin instead of xanax, I wonder why?

Sweety, I really can't say.
We have to remember that although medicine is a science, it is also an art.
It is a trial-and-error process.
I'm sure you have a trusting relationship with your doctor.
If he is a psychiatrist, then he knows what he is doing.
Family practice docs, on the other hand, don't really have adequate training to treat a lot of psychiatric disorders.
Most continue to do so, however.

 

[Pondering Mind]

I am sorry for the loss of your children, even more sorry that nobody close to you thinks about them. I can understand where you are coming from...
(((((((hugs)))))))) please know that even strangers sometimes has more sympathy than those closest to us.

This is so sad but so very true!..and TY!

 

[hollyblue]

Since the affidavits state "illegal narcotics", they have to be one or more of the following:
Codeine, Duramorph (morphine), Hycodan (hydrocodone), Lortab, Vicodin, OxyContin, Percolone, Endocet, Percocet, Percodan, Narcan, Trexan, buprenorphine (Buprenex), Stadol, fentanyl, meperidine (Demerol), methadone or Talwin.
Just thinking out loud.
Pretty heavyduty meds for recreational use.
Seems like self-medicating to me.
What are the underlying psychological triggers for this need?
Everyone that abuses drugs has their own reasons.
I am interested in what the reasons SA and BD had.
In other words, why did they need to stay sedated?
Was it something they were involved in that led them to need the relief?
I have no idea.

It could be as simple as they just wanted to because they could. MOO, but anyone who wears a mask does so to hide...mostly psychological. We all have "masks" we wear everyday to project the person we want others to see...this is caring it a bit (little?) farther. I'm uncomfortable with many of the statements he has made and some that BD has made, but giving her the benefit of doubt at the moment. I should start writing them down and bring them here for input. He thinks he's smart and is going to get away with how he is involved....he won't. It does bother me that BD denies to see or just ignore the obvious descrpancies in his accountings. Gets my hinky meter going.

Was this hobby/fantasy kept between just the two or did BD & DD know about it?

Hope LE has the house and cars bugged/tracked. Also wonder if LE checked out the person/s they bought the drugs from that night. My thoughts on the money went to BD's money. ie: maybe they "borrowed" her money for the drugs or just plain took it and they had to replace it to show she had money there. One thing....a runaway may leave everything behind, but not money...nope.

 

[Pondering Mind]

Sweety, I really can't say.
We have to remember that although medicine is a science, it is also an art.
It is a trial-and-error process.
I'm sure you have a trusting relationship with your doctor.
If he is a psychiatrist, then he knows what he is doing.
Family practice docs, on the other hand, don't really have adequate training to treat a lot of psychiatric disorders.
Most continue to do so, however.

He is a pysch..but I sure wouldn't call it a trusting relationship. It's hard to develop a relationship in 5-10 minutes..that will be $75.00 please! <that's the extent pretty much and if you need to talk..well, then you pay more to see a therapist..:banghead:..I'm out of work right now with no insurance..hopefully that will change soon and I can find someone knew. It sucks though because even when I had ins. it wouldn't pay for mental health..it paid for meds, but never the office visits or anything else.

 

[OneLove]

I know we're discussing serious issues tonight, and I am certainly trying my best to help, but that was hilarious....I'm just saying. I'm with you OL, Insane Clown Posse...really? I miss the Eagles.....:seeya:

Ahhhhh....the Eagles, I think I will try to catch some zzz's now that you have started Seven Bridges Road running through my mind. What a nice way to go to sleep....