I have debated if I was willing to share this here but I feel as I must. This week I have developed a huge amount of empathy for the mom. I was quick to judge on too little info.
You see see day before yesterday morning we had a bit of drama her in my home. Some of you have seen me mention my 11 yr old daughter who is autistic and developmentally delayed. Well, my husband left for work at 6:15 Wed morning and Katie and I were still asleep. I had been up with her for her nightly wake up from around 3-5. The best I can tell she must have awakened shortly after he left. She has become quite stealthy of late but this time topped the cake. She managed to get out of the house and wandered off. (We have her twin bed between his bed and my hospital bed to prevent her getting up unsupervised) Not before evidently rolling in the wet grass in 50 degree weather. She was found at a restaurant nearby and the man mowing the lawn there called the police. She was able to tell the police her name but that was all except when he asked where she lived she said North.( I am assuming the North Pole) So after driving her around and she couldnt identify a house he took her to the local emergency room. Some how police dispatch was able to match her to my husbands cell number (I will never guess how) and called him at work. He tried to call me but she had turned the ringer off on my phone. So at 8 am he runs into the house a wakes me up to tell me she is at the hospital. I knew it would waste valuable time if I tried to get dressed and him help me get to the car with my wheelchair so I just told him to go. I knew what he would be facing when he got there and it wasnt going to be pretty. At first the police and Doctor tried to claim that she had been out all night because she was in her nightgown(at 8 in the morning). Then they wouldnt let him see her until DSS/DHS arrived. The police interrogated him then DSS took their turn. Then the police came her to interrogate me and then swapped places with DSS. They kept telling him she wasnt coming home with him. They started telling me if she was allowed to come home there would be requirements we would have to agree to. I home school her for several reasons and am licensed through the state as a school. The said I would have to put her in public school. Then asked if I would refuse to put her in public school. Of course I responded that if it was the only way I could get her home I would enroll her but, if it was my choice as was my legal right as her parent I would continue homeschooling. Duh.
Once she she left I called my husband back at the hospital and he was finally with our daughter. We sat spastically for the hour or two and waited, At nearly 3 pm he called me and said they were on their way home together. Just before leaving the police told him he had originally intended to arrest him. With no stipulations except to add another lock to the 2 already on the door she escaped through. At that point I was ready to put a stockade bar across the door anyway. Today the social worker just popped in unannounced to check for the new lock (which was on the door within an hour of her arrival home.)
So as long as the mom is not a poi with LE she has my empathy. I had a reminder of just how quickly things can go south. Perhaps they were like my husband and I when he has two days off in a row I take a sleeping pill and he does the night shift with her. That way I can catch up on my rest from being up with her every night for the 3 am party. We have medicated her and nothing stops the 3 am party.
90% of autistic children bolt at least once but until it happens you believe it wont happen to you. As many safeguards as we had in place it still happened and I was terrified. I still am. How easily it could have been much worse. How easily they could have taken her away. She was close to traffic when she was found. It could have been deadly. I know haw serious it was. I am now afraid to sleep. She thinks she had a grande adventure. She rode in a police car, they gave her toys at the hospital and everyone made over her like a little princess she has no concept of the danger. I do
Thank you. I am an adoptive parent, and before my children were grown I had a lot of contact with other adoptive parents, many of whom were raising a broad spectrum of very interesting children. Sometimes the agencies that one might think should be available for support, see "help" as moving the children somewhere else. Never mind that we were all parenting children who came to us with the warranties voided, as I used to think. Because we were there, were frequently suspect when things went wrong.
The other thing that many of us learn is that children bond with parents--even parents who look undeserving. Adoption is a mixed blessing for our children as it seals off a part of their life in which they bonded to a bio parent. The Mathews sibling has just lost all contact with her family. Adults may have all kinds of opinions about those family members, but they have been her whole world. Now CPS and a judge must make a decision about what to do. Not easy stuff.