Found Deceased TX - Sherin Mathews, 3, Richardson, 7 Oct 2017 #6 *Arrest*

[keeleydoll]

No, it makes no sense at all. No adoption agency would make you adopt a child if you told them you changed your mind just because you had begun the process of filling out some paperwork. They did not adopt Sherin because they were forced to by the agency.

I didn’t know that anyone said they were forced, only that the process in India takes several years, nor was that part of my comment.

I’ve known a couple of couples who have been deeply invested in the adoption process when they finally were able to conceive and both couples continued with adoptions.

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[crelisacorder]

SBM

Continuing to force milk down the throat of a 3yr old when she's choking is not a mistake--it's intentional. It's brutal. Not calling 911 when you think you may have killed your child, to give that child a chance to be revived, is not a mistake---it's intentional.

He could have wrapped her in a blanket, placed her in a wooden box or even a rubbermaid container and buried her, to give her tiny body some semblance of respect.. Instead, her threw her in a culvert of sludge so rodents, insects, and scavenger animals could dispose of his 'mistake', hoping she would never be found for a proper burial so he would be off the hook.

I'm not too concerned about him. As a matter of fact, I'm not concerned about him at all.

Thank you, for I couldn't even fathom the correct words to reply to this.

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[MsMarple]

He should be looked at as a monster, but he is also a human. Right now, he isn't even charged with murder, he is charged with injury which unfortunately caused death. His actions in the moment and afterwards are NOT acceptable, but I think I can understand them IF he was in a state of shock, fear and panic over what happened. Leaving her for 2 weeks however isn't acceptable. It also removes IMO any sort of "insanity" type of plea because he was capable of making decisions to try and protect HIMSELF during those weeks. He wasn't acting erratic after he reported her missing (to our knowledge). But, in that moment I think I find it easier to believe it really was a horrible accident done in a tired haze then to think he woke up and consciously took her outside with the intent of ending her life. If that is what the evidence shows then great, his charges will be upped and may even become a capitol case.

Marisa, I think you have a good heart and your thoughts about WM panicking should be considered since WS is a site where people can speculate about crimes. But I'm going to discount that Sherin's death was an unfortunate accident for several reasons.

First, because WM changed his original story we can't be sure that his second claim is true. It concerns me that it came after Sherin's body was found and it may very well be that WM was attempting to tailor events based on new evidence that LE may find. Certainly he confessed that she had died that night but is he trying to spin a new version that it was just an unfortunate accident? I don't know.

And secondly - maybe the most important point to me - is that IMO he had several opportunities to save Sherin and instead he chose to do nothing. According to his own statement Sherin began choking on the milk/nutritional supplement. To me, that's moment number one where he could have chosen more than one action.

Certainly he could have awoken his wife, a nurse trained in CPR and assessing medical emergencies. Instead he decided to monitor Sherin's breathing. Why? Let's say for argument's sake he was looking to see if she would recover from her choking. Though it's not recorded in the document I would think that if Sherin did not catch her breath and begin to recover then he would have seen other signs, such as her turning blue. Or collapsing. Something to indicate she was not recovering from the choking.

At this point he would have had another moment to act. Again, wake his wife or call 911. But what did he do? According to his own statement he watched Sherin's breathing slow until he believed she died. He didn't even know if she was dead, he just "believed" she was.

As her loving father he then chose to remove her body from the house and conceal her in a drainage ditch. IMO when LE arrested him the first time panic would have subsided and he would have been filled with remorse. Yet he gave a false statement, trying to blame Sherin's disappearance on coyotes, her wandering off, anything that that would lay blame for her disappearance away from him.

When Sherin's body was found he changed his story and even then as far as we know he hasn't told LE any more - what about the missing hour when he was driving his SUV? IMO a remorseful parent spills it all and doesn't worry about saving whatever skin he has left to save.

This is all my own opinion, based on the current progress of the case. I have no thoughts about WM right now other than he's a cold-blooded killer who cares only for himself. Even if the ME can't find a COD I hope he goes away for the maximum time allowed for the felony he currently is in jail for. MOO.

 

[Rocco]

I didn’t know that anyone said they were forced, only that the process in India takes several years, nor was that part of my comment.

I’ve known a couple of couples who have been deeply invested in the adoption process when they finally were able to conceive and both couples continued with adoptions.

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My post was in response to his comments in the video and what he said about why Sherin was adopted. If you haven't heard his comments, you might be misunderstanding my post.

 

[rosesfromangels]

At this point, and contrary to my usual approach to cases, I am expecting the worst on all aspects of this case.
The two horrible stories the father told must be preferable versions to the truth. That tells us we need to brace ourselves for what is coming. And no, I don't believe this latest version of what transpired any more than I did the first.

Sorry to be so negative, but it's my current opinion. I expect we will hear that the child was abused beyond the "milk" story, and I also believe there will be another arrest.

Law enforcement will have to put out a strong admonishment to the current activists, because I think they will certainly have more to be enraged about.

 

[MissMalowe]

I'm not saying that things shouldn't be looked at. But children adopted, in foster care and biological, are killed and tormented by the people supposed to love them every single day.

People snap. People change.

IMO if WM or SM were dangerous (at the time) they wouldn't have ever passed the process of adoption to begin with. It's very lengthy and rightfully so. Sherin is likely NOT the first adopted child to have been killed or seriously injured, but to my knowledge, is the first to have the embassy of both of her countries involved. Please correct me if I am wrong on that. [\b]

I simply, do not think it is right that ONE country is (possibly?) changing adoption procedures based on this one case. Is one child one too many? Certainly. NO child should ever be hurt. But, Indian citizens weren't adopting her either.

Do things need to be looked at? Most definitely. But, I don't think that people who have been struggling through the adoption process for the past year should be at risk of losing their child, a child they have prayed for, bought things for, and have LOVED should be at risk of or losing their child as a result. Unless, we aren't being told that something did in fact go wrong or was by-passed or maybe is commonly by-passed in adoptions from India.

I know they have said that everything was done perfectly as far as the adoption process goes with Sherin, but that doesn't mean it actually WAS. It could be a way of trying to keep people calm when they may have avoided some serious red-flags. We don't know.

I simply, do not want children who have been matched and are nearing the end of their adoption process, to spend an extra day in an orphanage, being institutionalized more and more everyday, if they can be in a properly approved, loving, forever home.

Lastly, I would HOPE that most people who are shelling out 30-50 THOUSAND dollars to go through this process for at least a year before ever even meeting their child, would be doing it for the right reasons.

JMO and I know that adoption is a touchy subject without these extenuating circumstances. I *think* it is fair to say that every one of us on here simply wants children safe, regardless of where they live or how they got to that place. No one, especially someone completely defenseless, should ever go through any sort of abuse, whether a one time thing, or ongoing. So, how does a governing agency do better at approving people in the first place? It's definitely a rock and a hard place, for all parties. Again, JMO

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/02/...boys-death-in-us-stirs-outrage-in-russia.html

The above link is another Texas story in which both governments were involved at the embassy level or higher. As for an exact number or percentage of deaths looked into by the embassy of both countries, I suppose only the embassies of those countries would have the numbers on that. Naturally, the more high profile a case, the more pressure or demand to look into something further, or to inform the public it's being looked into.

Do I think adoptions should cease? No, certainly not.
But I do think one child killed by their parent(s) is one child too many. Adopted children aren't the only victims at the hands of their parents (or caregivers) but change or additional support needs to start somewhere and if it starts with a country adding policies or additional support in an effort to help ensure the safety of their children being adopted abroad, I see that as a good thing.

If other people who were in the midst of the adoption process end up having to jump through a few more hoops or have additional policies they have to meet and adhere to and that places a longer time frame on their adoption, while I sympathize with those people, I feel that if those policies save one child's life, it's a fair trade-off.

There are too many deaths of ALL children at the hands of those who are entrusted to love and care for them the most. What those changes need to be, I am not sure exactly other than it's certainly not sympathizing with the perpetrator.

I do not believe Wesley Mathews planned to kill his daughter, but I also do not believe that he was bringing her in the garage in the early morning hours to "be nice to her" either. I also do not believe that a parent being shocked, full of fear & panic by what is happening or in a morning haze is an excuse for his actions. Most people who call 9-11 are in shock fear and panic, yet they still manage to grab the phone and dial. Most parents also do not place their child in a culvert for two weeks and give a story about their child being missing when an accident has happened. JMO.

 

[Karinna]

Doesn't India have a Foster care system so as to make orphanages obsolete, where abandoned or orphaned children or children at risk could have some semblence of a normal home environment?

 

[Momma2cam]

Doesn't India have a Foster care system so as to make orphanages obsolete, where abandoned or orphaned children or children at risk could have some semblence of a normal home environment?

I did some research on this the other day as I was curious, too. Just a couple things:

https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Cultu...ot-in-India.-How-does-it-differ-from-adoption

The concept of foster care*internationally is relatively new.*For instance, in*India, the foster care system is in its infancy. The Central Adoption Resource Authority in India has recently made conscious effort to put priority on domestic, safe adoptions and the entire country is moving toward a focus on non-institutional care options.*

http://bangaloremirror.indiatimes.c...or-children-in-india/articleshow/47559399.cms

The foster care was introduced in India for the first time in the Juvenile Justice (Care and Protection) Act 2014, which was passed in the last Lok Sabha session.

http://fostercareindia.org/

We promote family preservation, kinship foster care, non-kinship foster care, adoption and aftercare as best practices for children in need of care and protection.

We believe in a continuum of care that is in the ‘best interest’ of any child. Please read our*Manifesto for family-based care in India*to learn more.

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[MarisaS1985]

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/02/...boys-death-in-us-stirs-outrage-in-russia.html

The above link is another Texas story in which both governments were involved at the embassy level or higher. As for an exact number or percentage of deaths looked into by the embassy of both countries, I suppose only the embassies of those countries would have the numbers on that. Naturally, the more high profile a case, the more pressure or demand to look into something further, or to inform the public it's being looked into.

Do I think adoptions should cease? No, certainly not.
But I do think one child killed by their parent(s) is one child too many. Adopted children aren't the only victims at the hands of their parents (or caregivers) but change or additional support needs to start somewhere and if it starts with a country adding policies or additional support in an effort to help ensure the safety of their children being adopted abroad, I see that as a good thing.

If other people who were in the midst of the adoption process end up having to jump through a few more hoops or have additional policies they have to meet and adhere to and that places a longer time frame on their adoption, while I sympathize with those people, I feel that if those policies save one child's life, it's a fair trade-off.

There are too many deaths of ALL children at the hands of those who are entrusted to love and care for them the most. What those changes need to be, I am not sure exactly other than it's certainly not sympathizing with the perpetrator.

I do not believe Wesley Mathews planned to kill his daughter, but I also do not believe that he was bringing her in the garage in the early morning hours to "be nice to her" either. I also do not believe that a parent being shocked, full of fear & panic by what is happening or in a morning haze is an excuse for his actions. Most people who call 9-11 are in shock fear and panic, yet they still manage to grab the phone and dial. Most parents also do not place their child in a culvert for two weeks and give a story about their child being missing when an accident has happened. JMO.

I just hope that whatever changes to adoption policy don't cancel (safe) adoptions and force the child or parents to be back in line for matching. That is my biggest concern with the changes to the adoption process.

As far as my other thoughts go, I am ONLY taking into account what we have been told when writing those things, not my opinion on what I think happened. I think this is prob making me look a bit cold myself, but just basing it off of the current charge of Injury, and the short affidavit we have seen, and NOTHING else, I am able to "sympathize". Rationally, I know darned well that if WM's story is the whole truth it has to be the most random accident to have occurred to a child and that his reaction to it is simply something that has never happened before and never will again (based on his statement of believing her dead and basically it being an accident).

What I actually think happened is likely very much along the lines of most people, though I do feel about 95% sure that Sini really had no clue, or if she did, was so victimized herself that she felt helpless. I could be completely wrong and she may have been the mastermind behind all of this. At this stage we just don't know. I suppose in a sense I am very much playing devils advocate, but I hope people understand that I am only putting those thoughts out there based on the current evidence and not taking into account other cases and speculation etc.

I also want to believe (though difficult) that up until her final moments, Sherin knew only love. As more info comes out, especially with the trial, I am sure that won't be the case. But, for today, I can be naive and hold onto that thought.

Does anyone know if WM has been arraigned yet or when he is expected to be seen in court? I haven't heard or seen anything about this and am starting to wonder based on how long it's been, if it has happened and there was some sort of gag order in place, as in, the court appearance may have been done very hush-hush for some reason.

I was under the impression that he has to be arraigned quickly, or is it that the prosecution has to be prepared for arraignment quickly but his defense can put it off until they are also ready?

Thanks everyone! Y'all really are great for being respectful in responding to my thoughts!

As always, JMO and MOO

 

[angorwat]

Doesn't India have a Foster care system so as to make orphanages obsolete, where abandoned or orphaned children or children at risk could have some semblence of a normal home environment?

Not formally by the Government but few NGOs have foster care programs but the system is in its early stages.
http://indianexpress.com/article/li...women-and-child-development-adoption-3024715/

 

[Karinna]

I did some research on this the other day as I was curious, too. Just a couple things:

https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Cultu...ot-in-India.-How-does-it-differ-from-adoption



http://bangaloremirror.indiatimes.c...or-children-in-india/articleshow/47559399.cms



http://fostercareindia.org/





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Thankyou for posting the info. & links.

 

[Karinna]

Not formally by the Government but few NGOs have foster care programs but the system is in its early stages.
http://indianexpress.com/article/li...women-and-child-development-adoption-3024715/

Thanks for your reply & link. I guess by the sound of things the Foster care system is a fairly new concept in India. I don't believe in intercountry adoption myself, for my own personal reasons, but in cases of refugees fleeing war torn countries and the war orphans in those countries i feel exceptions should be made to keep people and children safe from the horror of all that for sure. I also understand the need in westernised countries for children's need to have a loving family when removed from their home permanently, so there is that need too.

 

[MarisaS1985]

I did some research on this the other day as I was curious, too. Just a couple things:

https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Cultu...ot-in-India.-How-does-it-differ-from-adoption



http://bangaloremirror.indiatimes.c...or-children-in-india/articleshow/47559399.cms



http://fostercareindia.org/





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It shocks me that the foster care system is so foreign in some countries. It seems like something that has always been around, though I know it is fairly recent in North America too. I honestly thought that orphanages were overflow from the foster care system. Naive.

MOO

 

[edimmu]

It shocks me that the foster care system is so foreign in some countries. It seems like something that has always been around, though I know it is fairly recent in North America too. I honestly thought that orphanages were overflow from the foster care system. Naive.

MOO

Read How Not to Start An Orphanage by Tara Winkler when you can. It's very informative and you'll understand the fostering/adoption system a lot better in third world countries.

 

[Margo/Mom]

Not up to speed on all posts, yet. But this appeared this AM in my local newspaper.

I don't know if it is responsive to this case or part of a more general move.

http://www.dispatch.com/news/201711...utting-new-hurdles-on-international-adoptions

 

[Margo/Mom]

So exactly how many kids have to die at the hands of their adoptive parents before it would be considered appropriate to make changes or overhaul the system?

Are you suggesting that abuse/death is more common at the hands of adoptive parents than bio parents?

Actually, I believe, (without checking the facts) that the highest level of risk to children comes from quasi-step-parent situation in which a bio mom has a new mate who steps into the role of parent.

Although it has been many moons ago, I can attest that the adoption process is one of the most accusatory and grueling that one might choose to go through. All kinds of interesting questions much be answered, such as "have you grieved your infertility?" and couple questions (as a single parent I was spared these) about their sex life. Criminal background. Financial background. Medical background (including an STD screening, which was loads of fun).

MAYBE there was some red flag in WM's life that was missed. OR MAYBE NOT. While there seem to be some clearly pathological groups of people who prey on children, I do not believe them to be all-encompassing. I do believe that there is really more of a sliding scale that is responsive to both conditions of stress, causing escalation, but also means of early intervention/prevention. And these things are really hard for us to look at, because it means that most of us carry the capability to do some really ugly things--even if we have never acted on that capabiltiy.

Personally, the kinds of "adoption" reform I would look for is the stuff that comes after the child comes home--one year after, ten years after, when the baby is an adolescent coping with their developing identity as someone who doesn't look like the rest of their family. Far more often what a family encounters when they are looking for help, particularly from those child-serving agencies that gave them the third degree, is an attitude of "well, you wanted to adopt, deal with it."

Sorry. Button pushed.

 

[jens]

It shocks me that the foster care system is so foreign in some countries. It seems like something that has always been around, though I know it is fairly recent in North America too. I honestly thought that orphanages were overflow from the foster care system. Naive.

MOO

Although formal fostering of children, as we know it, is in its infancy in India the extended family and the community have often informally fostered/adopted children. The concept of family in India is different, much more extensive..

“India has a rich and vast history of family based care through the joint-family system of communal living that happens in rural settings throughout the world. Families take care of families and communities take care of communities. However, the care was often informal and based on economic ability and is sometimes determined through cultural biases and stigma. For example an orphaned child by one or both parents who is disabled or from an unwed mother may not be absorbed into a community while a child orphaned under natural circumstances may.”
https://www.quora.com/Does-India-have-a-foster-care-system-in-place

 

[MissMalowe]

Are you suggesting that abuse/death is more common at the hands of adoptive parents than bio parents?

Actually, I believe, (without checking the facts) that the highest level of risk to children comes from quasi-step-parent situation in which a bio mom has a new mate who steps into the role of parent.

Although it has been many moons ago, I can attest that the adoption process is one of the most accusatory and grueling that one might choose to go through. All kinds of interesting questions much be answered, such as "have you grieved your infertility?" and couple questions (as a single parent I was spared these) about their sex life. Criminal background. Financial background. Medical background (including an STD screening, which was loads of fun).

MAYBE there was some red flag in WM's life that was missed. OR MAYBE NOT. While there seem to be some clearly pathological groups of people who prey on children, I do not believe them to be all-encompassing. I do believe that there is really more of a sliding scale that is responsive to both conditions of stress, causing escalation, but also means of early intervention/prevention. And these things are really hard for us to look at, because it means that most of us carry the capability to do some really ugly things--even if we have never acted on that capabiltiy.

Personally, the kinds of "adoption" reform I would look for is the stuff that comes after the child comes home--one year after, ten years after, when the baby is an adolescent coping with their developing identity as someone who doesn't look like the rest of their family. Far more often what a family encounters when they are looking for help, particularly from those child-serving agencies that gave them the third degree, is an attitude of "well, you wanted to adopt, deal with it."

Sorry. Button pushed.

Never said only adopted children were victims at the hands of their parents (or caregivers) I touched on that further in the post following the one you're referencing. (see post #866)

My response was posing a question to the OP, who was referencing adoptions, specifically that of India, hence the reason my question was specifically asking about adopted children of India.

 

[Margo/Mom]

Never said only adopted children were victims at the hands of their parents (or caregivers) I touched on that further in the post following the one you're referencing. (see post #866)

My response was posing a question to the OP, who was referencing adoptions, specifically that of India, hence the reason my question was specifically asking about adopted children of India.

So--what kinds of change would you be looking for?

 

[MarisaS1985]

So--what kinds of change would you be looking for?

I know not directed at me, but I *think* the pre-adoption process is pretty darned thorough. Just like when you have a baby biologically, you get TONS of prenatal care, you read the books on what to expect and have a Dr or Midwife to see. You can call with every small question about things being normal. After you have the child you are often offered help from lactation consultants etc and then at the 6 week mark they sorta toss you to the wolves. Yes you can make more appointments and such, but it's not the usual.

I personally feel that while we should have the right as bio-parents to get extended help etc if we need it, that from what I have learned in Sherin's case, there seems to be only that "prenatal" care for adoption, and then 4 "checkups" through the year and little support. IMO that is where the system is failing. Perhaps, mandatory and SAFE family counselling would be good as everyone adjusts to the new normal. Perhaps pediatric dietitians would be a great thing to offer as part of the adoption "package" you are paying for. I don't think this extra help should necessarily be mandatory, or mandatory for long, but it sounds like people are basically told "you adopted, live with it". Almost as if they were delinquent in their behaviour instead of trying to give a child a better life outside of foster care or an orphanage. I also think that their needs to be safe ways for ALL parents to seek assistance without feeling their will automatically be a CPS call or file opened on them.

I have a friend who has a bio-child with several fairly serious mental health issues. She is single and he is really large for his age. She was a CPS worker and one night her son threw a massive tantrum and was assaulting her and started to smash her van. She couldn't physically get control over him and was scared to hurt herself and also was trying to protect her other children. She called 911 in hopes that they would expedite the play therapy process etc. Instead a CPS file was opened and she was basically told to take care of her kid and get control of him or lose him. She was TRYING to get help, TRYING to stay safe. TRYING to keep all her kids protected. It's been about 5 years and he only now has been approved to have an assistant in the schools, and it wasn't because of his learning disabilities that she had been begging for help for him for the past 7 or so years, it was because they think he may be violent... I know this is off topic, but if a CPS worker can have no help when she works in a building that offers all of the help, then how on earth does a parent get help otherwise?

In our area the CPS building deals with all of the mental health things and everything, and for a lot of parents, that makes them feel like even trying to get their child to speak to a therapist, that they will be flagged, rather than the normal process of having a therapist who can call CPS if they see any red flags, it seems like you are flagged just by making the appointment.

So, not only for foster kids or adopted kids, but BIO kids as well, getting help or asking for help from a professional, needs to stop being looked down on, it needs to be commended because it's a HUGE step for parents to take and FEELS like it has a lot of risk. (Even if it doesn't, it is perceived)

We don't have a clue as to why CPS was involved with the Mathews previously, but if it was something innocent like them calling for assistance it really wouldn't come as a surprise given what I have seen people go through here.

I don't think that an expectation of an efficient, safe and OPEN post-adoption or postpartum care is asking too much. It could save a lot of family problems including abuse and death.

I have another good friend in NC and her kids bio mom has CPS called, she was arrested for neglect as the kids were locked in a room with feces etc, no access to food or water, and she wasn't home. CPS removed the kids, dropped them off at my friends house even though the dad hadn't even been a part of the kids lives. The charges against the bio-mom were dropped because the kids were "safe" and CPS did ONE check in and called the case closed. Never told them if bio-mom could see the kids or what their rights were or anything. It's been over a year now and CPS still hasn't looked back in, and bio-mom has another child... After care does NOT exist in this case.

ALL just my opinion and second hand experiences of friends who have had issues.