When IS described the early days of his 'courtship' with Helen, her taking him around London, to the National Gallery etc, it struck me she was hoping he would enjoy the same things she and her late husband did together, and that she was trying in some way to recreate that happy marriage. But JS was a different sort of man to IS in every way - chalk and cheese. IS' statement that JS was: "...sophisticated, smooth and suave - I was not", sounded a tad resentful to me, like he felt he had been compared to JS and found wanting.
Yet Helen was no snob, she fell in love with IS (or persuaded herself she had), endured his less than scintillating conversation and probably other encounters, bolstered his ego and welcomed his adult children. His description of her first meeting with his son Oliver struck me as revealing:
"She invited us to come for a meal. Him and Helen hit it off straight away. Helen was amazed how much Oliver ate. That was a nice friendly event".
Any single parent would be anxious their children (especially older ones) got on with their new partner. Helen clearly put herself out to be sweet with Oliver and ensure this first meeting was a success. But there's no acknowledgement here from IS, even fleetingly, that it was Helen who made it happen. Helen who had no kids of her own and would never ask Ian to make similar efforts.
He can't even show appreciation for her when he's in the dock, pretending he loved her!