Understanding The Anthony's Parenting Style

[H_Chick]

I think casey has definitely had her brains FRIED by that mother of hers.
Im not making any excuses for her, because there is no excusing the way that CA has behaved right the way through this last 6 months, but I think that her emotional circuitry could well have been blown out by her mother when she was just a child.
Sometimes the psychological pressure and abuse is worse than a physical beating can be, and whos to say CAs mother hasnt been a nasty manipulative cow to her right from day one?
Maybe not, but maybe so.

It could easily be imagined that when a 19 yr old CA (I guess thats about how old she must have been when she got pregnant with the little one) told her parents that she was pregnant, they likely wouldnt have been thrilled about it, and casey would have been pleading her case that she WOULD make a good settled mother, and that this baby was just what she needed to settle her down, except that most of her friends wouldve still been out and about partying etc.
Much and all as GA and CinA loved the little one, I am sure that they still anticipated that it was their daughters call to have the child, and it was still her duty to raise her, too.

CA has learnt the process of lying constantly, about every facet of her life, probably from a very young age, likely as a mechanism to escape extreme pressure/reaction/shame from her mother and maybe father too.
She is delusional from the get go - she has lied about schooling, employment, nannys, everything, to everyone. I bet you anything you like that she really believes her own PR too.
But I dont think that anyone can discount the input that one or both parents may have given over the years, its either that or she really is extremely mentally ill with some narcissistic personality disorder (or maybe both).

If CA werent such a pathological liar, it would almost be a sad case.
I know she isnt getting much sympathy and to be honest I dont feel any for CA either, but depending on whether you favour nature or nurture, CA was also born a blank sheet, for her parents to write on.

 

[Egoslayer]

Based on Casey's constant attention seeking, I would say PERMISSIVE INDIFFERENT

 

[gitana1]

I think the parenting style is both permissive indugent AND authoritarian. I think CA is an interesting mix of controlling and punitive with her children, especially her daughter, while also covering for the wrongs they do and protecting them from others' criticism, in the style of a permissive parent. CA rules and casey could probably never live up to her standards. But all hell would break loose if someone other than CA ever levelled any criticism of at kids. The children are an extension of CA as well as props for her. Thus, she controls their behavior, or tries to, but cannot let anyone else do so because that would be to admit she is not a perfect parent with a perfect family. CA seems like a person with borderline personality disorder. Thus, her parenting style would never make sense or be consistent in any way.

 

[fla*mom]

I think that CA is controlling most of the time trying to mold the family into what most would perceive as the perfect family. It can get tough when one or more family member won't conform to your plan (have plans, actions, attitudes of their own).

It seems that KC had plans of her own. She knew how to play her parents, especially mom, knowing when to tow the line. And then at times saying the hell with it. She needed them for a place to live, babysitting, money, everything.

I don't think CA and GA were clueless in what KC was capable of or what kind of person she had become. They didn't trust her then either. I am sure that they did not think her capable of this horrible crime though. Even though CA tried to cover for KC for stealing the money from the grandparents account I bet she was mad as a hornet over it and the embarssment it brought within the family.

Remember all this had been a private matter just within the family, the whole world didn't know yet. We have heard that on the last night that CA was supposedly so mad at KC that she had her hands on her neck. Time for KC to go and grow up Caylee was welcome to stay but KC needed to stand on her own.

Once the realization of the horrendous situation of Caylee being missing and the evidence mounting that it all pointed to KC I think CA went into preservation mode. You know how it is, you can say all kinds of things about your kids, let someone else try it and you go ape. Even if the stuff they are saying is true, you just don't want to hear it.

 

[JBean]

bump for mom321
Maybe this will help with your question.

 

[mom4321]

thanks

 

[Angelfire]

bump for mom321
Maybe this will help with your question.

Love your new avi JBean, very beautiful...reminds me of my teenage years many moons ago.

 

[ExpectingUnicorns]

I found lots of great comments to think about while reading this thread. It seemed I could agree with at least a little bit of what every poster said. But then I realized that we have no idea what George and Cindy's parenting style was. Casey is now an adult and now all we are able to see is the results of their style (or lack thereof). We can guess at what it might have been but that's without merit -- what's to gain from guesses?
They are not "parenting" now. Their child is an adult -- They were just trying to manage living with an adult child and grandchild. . . IMO that's completely different than "parenting" a youngster. We have no clue but I sure wish we did -- and then we'd know to run like the wind from doing what ever it was that they did.

But then I keep remembering that old movie, "The Bad Seed."

 

[kageykaren]

Ok here we go! Maybr we have to wait to trial for some answers, Only from what we here to date there was no appropriate socialization for a toddler called Caylee. Maybe at trial Caylee's life on earth will be discussed. The public has not heard og nursery schools looked at by her guardians, well child visits to the doctor, applications for assistance, DSHS going after child suppot or paternity to get to whoever fathered the child, schedualed play dates with other children, the list goes on becuase all the adults were to busy figuring out how to navigate life. Caylee was used up like a bottle of alcohol that gets ones mind off of problems at hand. Yes the immediate family wanted to give off the appearances that everyone was doing great. The old saying used to be, "If you can't get good attention you'll get bad attention to be noticed." KC wasn't in surviver mode to provide for her daughter. If she was she may have sourced out help from the state. I really feel with all my heart that what KC held over her parents was the power that she was the mother no matter how much she screwed up, no matter who the daddy is, no matter how much she didn't want to be a mother, no matter how she partied, her power within the family became Caylee. That little girl became Kc's ammunition away from her immediate family & offered her a side kick into what is supposed to be an adult world. When she tried to where the hat of an engaged (to JG) soon to be married woman she realized at the expense of Caylee that wasn't what she wanted or felt comfortable with. Her psychopathy (No excuse) wanted more out of life. My background tells me her parents new she was a behavior problem but did not know how serious of a problem they had on their hands with KC, probably because they were caught up in creepy feeling adult problems. Even though CA is a nurse her psych. background during nursing school didn't prepare her for this nor GA's experience as an LE. I'm from a medical backgroung and I think both parents used thier job & its training to help them parent and it may have backfired giving an unknown sociopathic child ways to behave in the world. This is done subconsiously within the family. You use knowledge learned sometimes to parent better, because that is what you know. No excuse for any cover up after the fact.

 

[Texas Mist]

I voted 'Permissive Indulgent' because 'AFU' wasn't a choice. (errr, maybe it's the same thing?)

 

[Ripley007]

This is the third poll I have voted on tonight (without first scrolling down to see what others answered) and the 3rd poll I voted with the majority! Makes me feel better, as I feel I read far to many posts that try to justify KC, CA, GA, & LA's actions. These people, while only one may deserve a criminal inditment, the 3 others at the very least are in need of electro shock therapy to snap them back into reality!

 

[Andy H.]

So much for no religion, so much for no discipline, so much for not taking charge of the family, so much for "modern" raising... in this case certainly, George and Cindy has raised something worse than a spoiled brat or a self centered creep. They avoided responsibilty until the thing went on to do an evil thing. That's my opinion.

 

[Lisabet]

But then I keep remembering that old movie, "The Bad Seed."

(Snipped for space only)

I think there's more to this theory than I have been giving credit to. There's something fundamentally WRONG with Casey, and it's made all of their lives very difficult for a long time before Caylee's death. I am fascinated by the actual fear I see in George and Cindy in their relationship with Casey. What in the world are they afraid of? I suppose they are thinking that if she gets off with this crime she'll be back home, living off them again, and Oh, God, what will THAT be like?

 

[Mamabear1963]

I said parenting indifferent...BUT I think they became angry and authoritarian when they didn't like what decisions KC made.

So in a sense she was never given the tools to behave in a socially correct way...but also could never please her parents.

 

[BetsyB]

While I don't believe the Anthonys have parented in a way that best benefits their family, I understand what they've done and why.

Casey was not created by their parenting. She is a sociopath. She was born a sociopath.

True, a different style of parenting may have resulted in a sociopathic adult child with a greater ability to channel her impulses in socially accepted ways.

But it would not have magically created a conscience or appropriate affect or ability to empathize---or any of the things we accept as "normal" in a person.

Casey Anthony is personality disordered. She would be personality disordered no matter how she was raised.

Cindy and George Anthony did not know they spawned a sociopath. They likely first relied on their previous parenting experience to care for her and, as her tantrums and rage and bad behavior manifested, parented reactively.

If you watch their interactions now, you can see that every effort is made to placate Casey. Why? Because the alternative is unbearable to live with. She is scary. Her rage is terrifying.

Imagine being in the position of being scared of your child.

It's very difficult to imagine this scenario unless you've had exposure to a sociopath. Conversely, it's extremely easy to say, "What that kid needs is ..." But the things you and I think would be appropriate, in terms of interacting with Casey Anthony, would have no impact whatsoever.

She is a empty shell of a human. She lacks a conscience. She lacks empathy. She cannot form meaningful relationships. She cannot interact normally with others. Therefore, normal approaches do not work.

Cindy and George have done the best they can in an impossible, impossible situation. I do not agree with many, many of the things they've done during the course of this investigation. But I cannot fault them for their parenting.

NO ONE is prepared to raise a sociopath. NO ONE gets it right. There is no way to do it.

 

[Lisabet]

While I don't believe the Anthonys have parented in a way that best benefits their family, I understand what they've done and why.

Casey was not created by their parenting. She is a sociopath. She was born a sociopath.

True, a different style of parenting may have resulted in a sociopathic adult child with a greater ability to channel her impulses in socially accepted ways.

But it would not have magically created a conscience or appropriate affect or ability to empathize---or any of the things we accept as "normal" in a person.

Casey Anthony is personality disordered. She would be personality disordered no matter how she was raised.

Cindy and George Anthony did not know they spawned a sociopath. They likely first relied on their previous parenting experience to care for her and, as her tantrums and rage and bad behavior manifested, parented reactively.

If you watch their interactions now, you can see that every effort is made to placate Casey. Why? Because the alternative is unbearable to live with. She is scary. Her rage is terrifying.

Imagine being in the position of being scared of your child.

It's very difficult to imagine this scenario unless you've had exposure to a sociopath. Conversely, it's extremely easy to say, "What that kid needs is ..." But the things you and I think would be appropriate, in terms of interacting with Casey Anthony, would have no impact whatsoever.

She is a empty shell of a human. She lacks a conscience. She lacks empathy. She cannot form meaningful relationships. She cannot interact normally with others. Therefore, normal approaches do not work.

Cindy and George have done the best they can in an impossible, impossible situation. I do not agree with many, many of the things they've done during the course of this investigation. But I cannot fault them for their parenting.

NO ONE is prepared to raise a sociopath. NO ONE gets it right. There is no way to do it.

This is a great post, Betsy, and explains so much perfectly. Please go further, though, and explain WHY George and Cindy are STILL defending Casey...... I believe they know the truth, so WHY?

 

[BetsyB]

On a subconscious level, they fear that the pain of acknowledging (to themselves) that their daughter is the monster who killed their precious Caylee is not something that can be survived.

 

[radio]

While I don't believe the Anthonys have parented in a way that best benefits their family, I understand what they've done and why.

Casey was not created by their parenting. She is a sociopath. She was born a sociopath.

True, a different style of parenting may have resulted in a sociopathic adult child with a greater ability to channel her impulses in socially accepted ways.

But it would not have magically created a conscience or appropriate affect or ability to empathize---or any of the things we accept as "normal" in a person.

Casey Anthony is personality disordered. She would be personality disordered no matter how she was raised.

Cindy and George Anthony did not know they spawned a sociopath. They likely first relied on their previous parenting experience to care for her and, as her tantrums and rage and bad behavior manifested, parented reactively.

If you watch their interactions now, you can see that every effort is made to placate Casey. Why? Because the alternative is unbearable to live with. She is scary. Her rage is terrifying.

Imagine being in the position of being scared of your child.

It's very difficult to imagine this scenario unless you've had exposure to a sociopath. Conversely, it's extremely easy to say, "What that kid needs is ..." But the things you and I think would be appropriate, in terms of interacting with Casey Anthony, would have no impact whatsoever.

She is a empty shell of a human. She lacks a conscience. She lacks empathy. She cannot form meaningful relationships. She cannot interact normally with others. Therefore, normal approaches do not work.

Cindy and George have done the best they can in an impossible, impossible situation. I do not agree with many, many of the things they've done during the course of this investigation. But I cannot fault them for their parenting.

NO ONE is prepared to raise a sociopath. NO ONE gets it right. There is no way to do it.

Agree. No vote.
Some of the sweetest people I know
have had the raunchiest children. Scary.

 

[Lisabet]

On a subconscious level, they fear that the pain of acknowledging (to themselves) that their daughter is the monster who killed their precious Caylee is not something that can be survived.

Probably, and yet it seems to me it would be a tremendous relief to just face the truth and live with it. I know it's horrible, but the course they're on may be even more horrible.

 

[rookie]

I would like to add that I think that society has a lot to do with how this has come about.

For years the schools have been telling the children that their parents aren't right about birth control, etc., etc. "Just come to us because "they" won't understand."
Basically saying parents are stupid so children grow up to see their parents as tools to get what they want, not role models to strive to be like. Undermining the family structure.
Telling every child that there is no "wrong answer".
Everyone is smart, beautiful, talented.
No one teaches resposiblilty anymore.
It's all about feeling good about yourself.

There are so many shows on TV now where everyone lies and stabs others in the back "to win" and the person that is the most ruthless is honored by winning the prize.
Also there are so many slasher movies, violent video games, etc.
Fill a kid's head full of all of this anti-social behavior for 12-18 years and I think we are going to see a lot more Casey Anthonys, Scott Petersons and the Menendez brothers in the future.

Watching Casey speak to her parents I can think of 3 other young women who behave the same way to their parents or extended family.

They hold these families emotionally hostage. Refusing to allow family to see grandchildren if things aren't done "Their" way.
They have to be in charge at all times never considering anyone else's feelings.
It's all about them.
And the poor parents all say, "They were such good little children. I don't know what happened."

School and society happened to them.