Deceased/Not Found VA - Bethany Decker, 21, Ashburn, 29 Jan 2011 *Guilty*

[bdawk20]

u would think someone would be shouting from the rooftops about their missing daughter and willing to provide any info to help people find her. I dunno what to say about this family. It's like they are either in denial or trying to save face. I have a deadbeat crackhead sister, but if she came up missing then so be it. Crack head yes, horrible momma, check, but if she was murdered I would still put her face everywhere and not try to pretend that everything was all roses in her life.

I totally agree with you...I believe that unless you tell the truth about everything good and bad, you are putting LE at a disadvantage finding your loved one. Something's definitely funny about the lack of information from the family....clearly it had to have been normal for them to not see her or for her to not see the baby for weeks at a time, or a flag would have gone up for them long before it did....especially when they didn't see her again after she (reportedly surprisingly) did not show up to see her husband off on his deployment. I feel like they may be hiding things out of concern for how she may look to the public, which would be a shame.

jmo

 

[CMac2]

I totally agree with you...I believe that unless you tell the truth about everything good and bad, you are putting LE at a disadvantage finding your loved one. Something's definitely funny about the lack of information from the family....clearly it had to have been normal for them to not see her or for her to not see the baby for weeks at a time, or a flag would have gone up for them long before it did....especially when they didn't see her again after she (reportedly surprisingly) did not show up to see her husband off on his deployment. I feel like they may be hiding things out of concern for how she may look to the public, which would be a shame.

jmo

I've always wondered if her family was keeping quiet about certain details of Bethany's life out of the fear that people may stop looking for her, thinking she disappeared on her own, voluntarily.

She is obviously a very confused young woman. She's married, but pregnant by another man. Her husband comes home for a short visit from overseas, and she goes on vacation with him to Hawaii to visit family, but still resides with her boyfriend, the man who impregnated her. No judgment, of course, but I think it's safe to say she wasn't particularly active in her son's life (at least not overly so), so who knows how much she really wanted to be a parent to begin with.

Some people may think she simply took off, confused. Should she reconcile with hubby? Try to work things out with current boyfriend? Graduation is just a couple of months away... what happens then, regarding her son? What if she isn't ready to be a full-time mom when she gets out of school? Lots of decisions to make, lots of stress... people have taken off of their own accord over much less.

I personally do not think Bethany walked away on her own. She doesn't seem to have the resources, especially being pregnant, to leave with no money, no car, no method of communication, etc. I do think, however, that her family is very cognizant of the fact that people may think this was a voluntary act on Bethany's part.

My money's still on the boyfriend, FWIW. I think Bethany decided to reconcile with her husband, and I think her boyfriend snapped. Perhaps he'd imagined a life with her, and their baby, together. When she dashed his dreams, he snapped. We've all seen what a desperate person is capable of, especially if they feel they have nothing left to lose.

MOO

 

[Truthful Lies]

The 5 cell phones bother me the most. Screams drugs, drugs, drugs! Wonder if there is more to this case than meets the eye. Perhaps that's why LE is being so tight lipped. - hopefully this case doesn't have ugly tentacles...where's Bethany =(

 

[nervous_nellie]

The 5 cell phones bother me the most. Screams drugs, drugs, drugs! Wonder if there is more to this case than meets the eye. Perhaps that's why LE is being so tight lipped. - hopefully this case doesn't have ugly tentacles...where's Bethany =(

yeah, me too AND that he may be just techy enough to hack her inactive facebook account and pose as her.... also a thought in regard to the tight lipped thing going on may have to do with the military being involved...just a thought. this is just a really strange case...and im very worried for bethany.

 

[Soulmagent]

The 5 cell phones bother me the most. Screams drugs, drugs, drugs! Wonder if there is more to this case than meets the eye. Perhaps that's why LE is being so tight lipped. - hopefully this case doesn't have ugly tentacles...where's Bethany =(

I think it screams theif ,theif,theif. Or prepaid phones. I know people who just buy a whole new phone every few months. These phones may not be in working order.

 

[MsFacetious]

I think it screams theif ,theif,theif. Or prepaid phones. I know people who just buy a whole new phone every few months. These phones may not be in working order.

Or bill collectors, bill collectors, bill collectors... or psychotic ex wife... or some other person you want to avoid like the plague.

If you change your number you may not port it over to the same phone. You may just get a whole new phone, with the deals that you can get... often the phone is free anyway.

We have had FAR more than 5 cell phones in the last 8 years due to a psychotic ex wife. We still have most as toys for the kids. Also have several "dummy phones" as toys... that my Dad used for displays at one point.

 

[Truthful Lies]

I hear you guys...but 5 phones at once cannot make any legal sense (TO ME) if they are all active and all his. IMOO. How many bill collectors could he be dodging at his age? I had a hefty line of credit, but because of direct deposits, etc. Doubt he has this stuff if living with mom. Again, I am glad you guys threw those thoughts out there...I just can't wrap my mind around anything legal.

PS - I don't think he's a tech genius...I'd bet he made her give him her password or left herself logged in. If he's really controlling, etc. I would think he wouldn't have to hack in. Heck, if she is gone, he probably asked her in the process if he didn't already have the password. He could have also made her log in in front of him, and whatever that showed led to things? Then she'd still be logged in.

Just ideas.

 

[alsmom]

I'm a bit confused about this case and no I haven't read everything, but from what I gather, her mom? said Bethanny stayed in touch with peeps through facebook quite often. How was she doing that if she had deactivated her account. Did she have two and had deactivated one? What's the deal there?

 

[SlGriffith]

@Chemcopout, while I hope it is not your intent, your comments insinuate that this young woman somehow deserved whatever has befallen her because she was "messing around" with the wrong person. We do not know the circumstances of her marriage or whether her husband was also involved with another person. For whatever mistakes this young mother may have made, she deserved to survive them and make a life for herself and her children. Keep the focus on the fact that a beautiful young mother is missing.

 

[Truthful Lies]

I'm a bit confused about this case and no I haven't read everything, but from what I gather, her mom? said Bethanny stayed in touch with peeps through facebook quite often. How was she doing that if she had deactivated her account. Did she have two and had deactivated one? What's the deal there?

Alsmom, LE has said that someone was impersonating Bethany on FB (after she disappeared).

You can reactivate a FB just by logging in again, and if someone had her password, would be really easy. It's possible she had two, but unlikely I would think.

FWIW, whenever my Mom and I are in a cold war (and if I haven't blocked her on FB...oh lord, lol!), I've always told her just to check my fb page for activity...and if there was activity, I was fine. They could have had the same system. I know it sounds strange...but it saves Mom and I's sanity sometimes after not talking for 2/3 weeks over a tiff. Somestimes it's been longer and we've been more than 1000 miles away when I was young/single.

 

[alsmom]

Alsmom, LE has said that someone was impersonating Bethany on FB (after she disappeared).

You can reactivate a FB just by logging in again, and if someone had her password, would be really easy. It's possible she had two, but unlikely I would think.

FWIW, whenever my Mom and I are in a cold war (and if I haven't blocked her on FB...oh lord, lol!), I've always told her just to check my fb page for activity...and if there was activity, I was fine. They could have had the same system. I know it sounds strange...but it saves Mom and I's sanity sometimes after not talking for 2/3 weeks over a tiff. Somestimes it's been longer and we've been more than 1000 miles away when I was young/single.

I guess what I'm saying is I don't understand why her mom would say they kept in touch through facebook when Bethanny had deactivated her account. She would have been missing from her mom friends and then when whomever reactivated it she would have shown back up as a friend. I'm having problems verbalizing what I'm trying to say...lol. How long do they think the impersonator was talking to her friends and when did he start and stop. When he stopped did he deactivate the account?

 

[CMac2]

According to this (the search warrants), it sounds like Bethany's FB account was first deactivated. "Someone" re-activated the account, and posing as her, communicated with friends.

Not sure if the page was since deactivated again or not.

http://www.michellesigona.com/2011/...ion-bethany-decker-case-missing-pregnant-mom/

 

[CMac2]

"[Roldan] made conflicting statements regarding when he noticed her car being parked in the parking lot in front of their shared apartment. Decker went to Hawaii with her estranged husband just days prior to her disappearance. Roldan is described as controlling and abusive by Decker to her family and friends prior to her disappearance," the warrant reads.

Although the warrant cites two possible felonies – first- and second-degree murder – as justification for the search, the Sheriff's Office stressed Tuesday afternoon that police do not know yet whether this is ultimately a missing persons case or something else. DiBenedetto declined to say if authorities had developed any new leads after searching the home.

Much more at link:
http://ashburn.patch.com/articles/items-seized-in-decker-case-but-no-suspects-named

 

[liltexans]

I guess what I'm saying is I don't understand why her mom would say they kept in touch through facebook when Bethanny had deactivated her account. She would have been missing from her mom friends and then when whomever reactivated it she would have shown back up as a friend. I'm having problems verbalizing what I'm trying to say...lol. How long do they think the impersonator was talking to her friends and when did he start and stop. When he stopped did he deactivate the account?

I know exactly what you're trying to say because I have been wondering the exact same thing. The mom said Bethany was always in touch with someone. She either called her parents, siblings, or friends or she kept in touch through Facebook. It stood out to me because Bethany's mom followed up by saying something like, "It's a great way to keep in touch."

Then we have MSM and apparently LE reporting that someone was using Bethany's FB account and posing as Bethany even though Bethany's FB account was reportedly inactive or deactivated.

It sounded hinky to me at the time and it still does.

 

[CMac2]

They're talking about this case right now on Nancy Grace... I keep hearing about how possessive this boyfriend was, and how he always knew where she was whenever they were apart...

... If this is true, I wonder how he's answering for the fact that Bethany has been gone for approx. 1 month now, without his knowing her whereabouts.

I also wonder, given his possessive tendencies, whether or not Bethany's family and friends heard from him when she disappeared. Was he not calling around, asking if they'd seen/heard from her? If he wasn't, that says to me that he knew exactly where she was. A possessive, potentially violent person does not just allow the object of his affection to simply disappear without trying to find them. This is part of the reason why it's so difficult for women in abusive relationships to get out. Everywhere they turn, there he is!

 

[cluciano63]

If BF is innocent, why did he not let someone know that Bethany was missing? Even if he did not know her family, he could have reported it to police. You would think anyone would be worried about a young pregnant woman who was missing and he clearly knew, and eventually abandoned the apartment. If he was so controlling, I don't believe he would simply go away quietly if she, for example ,told him she was returning to her husband.

And what is with 5 phones? And immigration papers? Those things bug me and make me think he was into something not above board.

Someone in B's family must have a sense of how the trip to Hawaii went and how she left things with her husband...

 

[marycarney]

...and no wonder HER family was so 'defensive' of the husband from the get-go!

 

[MysteryAddict]

If BF is innocent, why did he not let someone know that Bethany was missing? Even if he did not know her family, he could have reported it to police. You would think anyone would be worried about a young pregnant woman who was missing and he clearly knew, and eventually abandoned the apartment. If he was so controlling, I don't believe he would simply go away quietly if she, for example ,told him she was returning to her husband.

And what is with 5 phones? And immigration papers? Those things bug me and make me think he was into something not above board.

Someone in B's family must have a sense of how the trip to Hawaii went and how she left things with her husband...

I echo your words and your questions and hope that the media will not ignore this case!

One other question I have - has Le done any searching for Bethany's body?
If not, why not?

The case has certainly grabbed my attention and I hate to see it slip to page 2!

 

[UKgirl]

Strange...No DOB reported. She is on no Missing websites. In fact to find information on her is very hard. Its so wierd

 

[burbqueen]

UKgirl AMEN to that!! This is soooo odd. Maybe she just ran off? Maybe we are getting it all wrong?? Her family is full of hink. Deactivated FB, yet they communicated through FB? yeah riiiiight....

Its as if the family doesnt want her found or not too alarmed about it. Maybe some of her friends and family knew she was gonna disappear and others didnt.