Deceased/Not Found VA - Bethany Decker, 21, Ashburn, 29 Jan 2011 *Guilty*

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burbqueen said:
UKgirl AMEN to that!! This is soooo odd. Maybe she just ran off? Maybe we are getting it all wrong?? Her family is full of hink. Deactivated FB, yet they communicated through FB? yeah riiiiight....

Its as if the family doesnt want her found or not too alarmed about it. Maybe some of her friends and family knew she was gonna disappear and others didnt.
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I've thought about the fact that maybe she disappeared on her own, or with her family's help. Maybe to get away from this abusive (allegedly) boyfriend. One thing I don't get, however, if that is the case, why report her missing at all? Seems it would be easier to make up some story as to why she hasn't been seen when acquaintances inquire as to her whereabouts.

They reported her missing, and then gave such conflicting information- she's married with no boyfriend- oh wait, she has a boyfriend after all- and BTW, he happens to be abusive/possessive; she kept in touch via FB- oh wait, her account was actually deactivated; she went on vacation with her husband during his R&R- but oh wait, the child she's pregnant with isn't his baby... and she lives with the father of the baby, not her husband; refusing to release the name of her employer, etc.

This girl had fallen off the face of the earth, had been gone without a trace for 3 full weeks- and no students, school officials, bosses, coworkers, friends or family felt that was odd??

I almost wonder if she left on her own and told people she was leaving. Maybe she said she was only going to be gone for a couple of weeks, needed to get her head together, would be out of touch, etc, not to worry. Is it possible she was hatching a plan to get some distance between herself and her BF? Could be she wanted to break up with him, but wanted the space to do it safely. Maybe that's why no one freaked out when she wasn't there to see her husband off to war, and why neither her employer or the officials at school raised a red flag. Perhaps she was out of touch longer than she'd planned to be, prompting the eventual missing persons report?

Otherwise, I have NO IDEA why so many people would have waited so long to report a pregnant woman missing. :banghead:
 
UKgirl said:
Strange...No DOB reported. She is on no Missing websites. In fact to find information on her is very hard. Its so wierd
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Shouldnt she have a missing person ID number now?

I cannot find one.
 
Such an odd situation. Everything about it.

I check every day hoping for new information or for her to be found.

There's a one year old boy missing his Mommy. Breaks my heart.
 
CMac2 said:
I've thought about the fact that maybe she disappeared on her own, or with her family's help. Maybe to get away from this abusive (allegedly) boyfriend. One thing I don't get, however, if that is the case, why report her missing at all? Seems it would be easier to make up some story as to why she hasn't been seen when acquaintances inquire as to her whereabouts.

They reported her missing, and then gave such conflicting information- she's married with no boyfriend- oh wait, she has a boyfriend after all- and BTW, he happens to be abusive/possessive; she kept in touch via FB- oh wait, her account was actually deactivated; she went on vacation with her husband during his R&R- but oh wait, the child she's pregnant with isn't his baby... and she lives with the father of the baby, not her husband; refusing to release the name of her employer, etc.

This girl had fallen off the face of the earth, had been gone without a trace for 3 full weeks- and no students, school officials, bosses, coworkers, friends or family felt that was odd??

I almost wonder if she left on her own and told people she was leaving. Maybe she said she was only going to be gone for a couple of weeks, needed to get her head together, would be out of touch, etc, not to worry. Is it possible she was hatching a plan to get some distance between herself and her BF? Could be she wanted to break up with him, but wanted the space to do it safely. Maybe that's why no one freaked out when she wasn't there to see her husband off to war, and why neither her employer or the officials at school raised a red flag. Perhaps she was out of touch longer than she'd planned to be, prompting the eventual missing persons report?

Otherwise, I have NO IDEA why so many people would have waited so long to report a pregnant woman missing. :banghead:
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These were my thoughts exactly. For someone who the family say constantly kept in touch with them, then how come they didnt speak to her for 3 weeks.

So little information on the BOyfriend, the husband, dates of birth, dates and times last seen, I really feel something is not right. Also, does anyone else think its stange that the child was living away from her, she is having another baby, but the little boy has been living with grandparents I assume since birth?
 
I don't think it too strange that Bethany's child was living with the grandparents. I know that I kept my grandson until he was 3 years old so that my daughter could work and get on her feet and get him into daycare. Now granted, she lived with me, but had she been in college and working in a different town, I would have kept my grandson so she could do her school work and make money to give her son a better life in a few years. I know it can be done, but it would be hard to study, attend school and work and have to worry about a sitter and worry that the child is safe - so why not let the grandparents keep him? That way the parent knows that the child is being cared for and not being neglected or shuttled from place to place with a strange (or several strange) babysitters.
 
CMac2 said:
I've thought about the fact that maybe she disappeared on her own, or with her family's help. Maybe to get away from this abusive (allegedly) boyfriend. One thing I don't get, however, if that is the case, why report her missing at all? Seems it would be easier to make up some story as to why she hasn't been seen when acquaintances inquire as to her whereabouts.

They reported her missing, and then gave such conflicting information- she's married with no boyfriend- oh wait, she has a boyfriend after all- and BTW, he happens to be abusive/possessive; she kept in touch via FB- oh wait, her account was actually deactivated; she went on vacation with her husband during his R&R- but oh wait, the child she's pregnant with isn't his baby... and she lives with the father of the baby, not her husband; refusing to release the name of her employer, etc.

This girl had fallen off the face of the earth, had been gone without a trace for 3 full weeks- and no students, school officials, bosses, coworkers, friends or family felt that was odd??

I almost wonder if she left on her own and told people she was leaving. Maybe she said she was only going to be gone for a couple of weeks, needed to get her head together, would be out of touch, etc, not to worry. Is it possible she was hatching a plan to get some distance between herself and her BF? Could be she wanted to break up with him, but wanted the space to do it safely. Maybe that's why no one freaked out when she wasn't there to see her husband off to war, and why neither her employer or the officials at school raised a red flag. Perhaps she was out of touch longer than she'd planned to be, prompting the eventual missing persons report?

Otherwise, I have NO IDEA why so many people would have waited so long to report a pregnant woman missing. :banghead:
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Yes, it's possible Bethany may have disappeared on her own - But...

Please let's not have LE assume this as they are assuming the whole Mcstay
family voluntarily disappeared themselves into Mexico!!

It's just as possible this girl could have been murdered by one of these two men in her life!
 
Why is this pregnant woman not getting the attention of, say, Lacey Peterson? I remember when Lacey was missing, I was in NY for several weeks due to a death in the family and the story was on TV every single night, and this was in late January, when she had been gone nearly a month.

This is a very strange case; I hope there is more urgency behind the scenes than there is in the media.
 
MBLover said:
I don't think it too strange that Bethany's child was living with the grandparents. I know that I kept my grandson until he was 3 years old so that my daughter could work and get on her feet and get him into daycare. Now granted, she lived with me, but had she been in college and working in a different town, I would have kept my grandson so she could do her school work and make money to give her son a better life in a few years. I know it can be done, but it would be hard to study, attend school and work and have to worry about a sitter and worry that the child is safe - so why not let the grandparents keep him? That way the parent knows that the child is being cared for and not being neglected or shuttled from place to place with a strange (or several strange) babysitters.
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I wouldn't think it's that weird for her child to live with the grandparents while she's finishing college. The fact that she pregnant again while her child is not living with her is the part that is weird to me.
 
cluciano63 said:
Why is this pregnant woman not getting the attention of, say, Lacey Peterson? I remember when Lacey was missing, I was in NY for several weeks due to a death in the family and the story was on TV every single night, and this was in late January, when she had been gone nearly a month.

This is a very strange case; I hope there is more urgency behind the scenes than there is in the media.
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I think she might get the attention Lacey had, if her family was out there begging and pleading for help.

There is no new info. LE and the family are so tight lipped, what would the news even have to report?
 
ulikey said:
I think she might get the attention Lacey had, if her family was out there begging and pleading for help.

There is no new info. LE and the family are so tight lipped, what would the news even have to report?
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I am guessing VA LE has asked them not to speak of this or that. Limiting the interest of the media. I also believe that Samatha Clark's family was asked to keep things low key and to themselves as a way to supposedly help the investigtions.

I also remember when Kara's mom went pubblic with information that LE asked her to keep to herself.

Really I personaly would disclose everything I knew about in the events that happened before they went missing and after. Where everyone was said to be what they were wearing and driving. I have seen enough cases to know that hidden details are only for court purposes and I want my loved one home. The court issue would only be secondary to having my loved one back. If there is something that can only be known to the murderer they wouldnt know that until she was found anyway. If it had to do with a witness and knowing what kinda car because it was on a paper they saw oh well.
Because if they never see the paper and never say where they saw the car then that might block a chance a recovering my loved one. IMO.

Any information that leads to good tips is worthy of releasing no matter what LE tells you about harming the investigation. IMO I think often times the missing person case shadows the criminal case.
 
Just a couple of things I wanted to throw out there as I get caught up on this case....

Earlier in the thread, there was speculation that maybe Bethany's husband knew about the boyfriend and was ok with it because they didn't get married out of love. (Maybe due to her being pregnant, or his military benefits, etc.) If you look on her MySpace (search for Bethany Littlejohn, it's public), which it doesn't appear she's used in awhile, there are some pictures of her and Emile looking very much in love. So, it looks like at some point in their relationship, things were very good between them.

Also, like UKGirl and soulmagnet pointed out, why isn't she on any missing person's websites?! Pardon my naivete, but how does one get listed on these databases? Is it something that LE has to initiate, can the family initiate it....? Does this mean they're thinking of her more as a voluntary runaway, or know that she is no longer with is, or...??? So bizarre!

ETA - I'm still pretty new to posting -- can someone tell me if we're allowed to post information we've found about RR's criminal record? Don't know if we're allowed to "sleuth" him since he hasn't been named a suspect.... TIA!
 
MBLover said:
I don't think it too strange that Bethany's child was living with the grandparents. I know that I kept my grandson until he was 3 years old so that my daughter could work and get on her feet and get him into daycare. Now granted, she lived with me, but had she been in college and working in a different town, I would have kept my grandson so she could do her school work and make money to give her son a better life in a few years. I know it can be done, but it would be hard to study, attend school and work and have to worry about a sitter and worry that the child is safe - so why not let the grandparents keep him? That way the parent knows that the child is being cared for and not being neglected or shuttled from place to place with a strange (or several strange) babysitters.
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Living with your parents and having them help you with childrearing while you go to school/work is not odd at all; I think it exactly what more families need to do in this type of situation. However, living away from your toddler altogether while you shack up with a new boyfriend should be considered strange IMO and I can't think of a situation where I would ever live away from my children. Those early years are extremely important for a parent/child bond and for healthy emotional growth. Bethany living away from her son was not normal and understandable. The only way I see that as healthy for a child is if the living arrangement is permanent. There has to be much more to this situation then we are aware.
 
MBLover said:
I don't think it too strange that Bethany's child was living with the grandparents. I know that I kept my grandson until he was 3 years old so that my daughter could work and get on her feet and get him into daycare. Now granted, she lived with me, but had she been in college and working in a different town, I would have kept my grandson so she could do her school work and make money to give her son a better life in a few years. I know it can be done, but it would be hard to study, attend school and work and have to worry about a sitter and worry that the child is safe - so why not let the grandparents keep him? That way the parent knows that the child is being cared for and not being neglected or shuttled from place to place with a strange (or several strange) babysitters.
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I can see your point there. Buthow come 3 weeks went by with no contact for her child. AS a grandparent wouldnt you think it was strange she hadnt visited him?
 
UKgirl said:
http://www.fairfaxtimes.com/cms/story.php?id=3171

A few more interesting facts there. Is there anyway we can find her DOB from college records or where she lives?

You know what else is strange I done a student checker http://peoplefinder.gmu.edu/ for a Bethany Ann Decker. I found no results
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UK girl, I did find Bethany on GMU's website. You need to look under the "people directory".

http://peoplefinder.gmu.edu/index.php?search=decker&group=all&x=0&y=0

Here ya go =)
 
Sometimes, I think in a very real effort not to sound judgmental of Bethany we tend to skip over some important facts. I agree that having the help of grandparents/other relatives in raising your child while you finish school is not strange in and of itself. However, like other posters, I feel the strange part comes into play when you look at the surrounding circumstances of both her life and her disappearance. The fact that she wasn't in contact- not just with her mother or friends- but with her son for more than 3 weeks, and no one seemed to find that odd. The fact that she was pregnant at the time she went missing, not by her husband, but by her live-in boyfriend. The fact that someone reactivated her previously inactive FB account to pose as her after she went missing. Those are the things that make this a unique situation- not the fact that her mother was taking care of her baby while she was in school full-time.

Also strange, usually when we have cases of young women disappearing, even if her friends are not all over the media, talking about the case, we can at least find their input in the comments section in news articles or blogs. Friends often try to A) dispel negative rumors and B) try to get the word out there about their missing loved one. In this case we seemed to have a few comments from an anonymous source that was sympathetic (with good reason, it sounds like) to the husband, but no one has posted anything on behalf of Bethany- at least not anyone claiming to know her personally- pleading for people to keep looking, messages about how much they miss her, etc. I've seen comments on her Bethany Anne Decker- Missing Facebook page, but doesn't seem to contain much from those who knew her well.

GMU, where she was set to graduate soon, has not released a statement (that I can find) offering its support, nor has her employer. The family has refused on multiple occasions to divulge where she worked. Also odd is that we seem to be getting our most accurate information, until very recently, not from family or LE, but from those anonymous comments that have been spattered here and there.

Add all that to the circumstances of her life prior to her disappearance- an estranged hubby whom she went on vacation with just prior to vanishing, an allegedly possessive/abusive boyfriend who is also the father of the child she's 5 months pregnant with (who never reported her missing to anyone), no official missing person's site has her listed, and that's when this case takes a turn for the very, very strange!

I really do wonder more and more- given the lack of "panic" on behalf of Bethany's family and friends, if she didn't go missing on purpose and with their full knowledge in an effort to get out of a bad situation.
 
yep.... is says there is one birth record, but i dont have membership and im not going to pay and it end up being the wrong one... intellius doesnt even have her dob... :/
 
nervous_nellie said:
yep.... is says there is one birth record, but i dont have membership and im not going to pay and it end up being the wrong one... intellius doesnt even have her dob... :/
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What search information did you use? I have a membership and I searched for Bethany Littlejohn and can't find anything.
 
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