I hate to write this. And I qualify this with my opinion that the defendant is the abuser...
There were times that I lashed back at my abuser. Times that I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I would yell. I would verbally talk back after being antagonized for hours on end. Once, I even threw a full pan of spaghetti on the kitchen floor. Ruined dinner.
For the people saying a true victim would never do this or do that... I am proof that at some point you lose your cool and you do snap back.
I do not think the defendant in this case was reacting. It's the plaintiff who I resonate with. His yelling, his language, his seemingly abusive behaviors are similar to the behaviors I showed when being manipulated and abused.
I lashed out on my abuser and I paid for it. If I had been recorded in those moments, I may have been seen as the instigator too. I didn't lash out every time, only when the pressure cooker needed a release.
Just my two cents...
Edit: I wanted to add one more thing. There was a time that my nex and I watched a true crime show where a cop was spit at. The suspect literally spit in the officers face. He was charged with assault and I said that I agreed. I told nex that I felt spitting in ones face was a true sign of disrespect and contempt not even considering the medical issues. My nex, 2 days later spit directly in my face. I stood up and told him to go ahead and hit me because he had already done worse by spitting. And he slapped the poo out of me. He didn't punch me he slapped me. I know now that he baited me. 2 years later, when I finally left... He told that same story, yet reversed. I was the one who spit in his face...
.
deadline.com
