My point is that to "save the next girl" ....we cannot let our daughters think that any Security set-up in a public place CAN or does have a personal interest in their safety. And if they drink or take drugs to excess...their judgement can become so impaired that THEY put themselves in danger. Even if sober, NEVER get in a car with a stranger!
Even of Morgan was sober and hurt from a fall...a jury might ask themselves...was she at more danger in the parking lot..or when SHE WILLINGLY got in that car? GETTING IN THAT CAR WAS MORGAN'S DECISON ALONE. I think if she had stayed in that crowded parking lot...near or IN her car...she would never have been alone with her Killer.
And why was she in the Parking Lot?Because she left the Arena without a ticket. Why was she walking around alone? Because she told her friends she would find her ownway home. How did she get in the Killers car...it seems she had her thumb up and got in willingly. THOSE are all Morgan's decisons. "The next girl"needs to know that those decisons had tragic consequences.
Yes, in an ideal world we SHOULD be able to do ALL things. Leave our doors unlocked, walk streets late at night, hop in cars. BUT THAT IS NOT THE REALWORLD. It is a dangerous fantasy!
Anyone who gets into a car with a stranger is gambling with their life. Do it drunk or impaired and that risk multiplies. How will giving the Harringtons and their lawyers millions of dollars "save the next girl?" It may force the Security company to let in many people without tickets...and many drunk or drugged out people to the venue...because they cannot do tests to see whose "cut" is because they have an injury or because they were drunk, drugged and "moshing." Will it keep our kids safer to let in more unticketed drunks and druggies to these venues? How about crowd control and safety under THOSE circumstances? Do you want to wait in line while Security does Breatalyzers and Drug tests so they do not get sued?
How about teaching "the next girl" to go to the Bathroomin venues like this IN PAIRS...teach her to stay with her friends...teach her to ask for help NOT reentry if it is HELP you need...teach her to stay in a crowd not walk in lonely places...teach her NEVER get in a car with a stranger. Millions to The Harringtons and their lawyer...says it is ALL somebody elses fault.
Personal responsibility is key. A child shot dead in broad daylight is unimaginable. A beautiful girl who gets in a car at night with a stranger and is raped and murdered? Sadly, NOT so unimaginable. I wish it were..
This was not a 4 year old. The Harringtons trusted her decison making and treated her as an adult. So did the Security. They had posted rules. Morgan knew them. She had been to other concerts.
It is notblaming the victim to look at the mistakes Morgan made that night. Morgan was very much like many young women her age..but the goal of "saving the next girl" rings hollow when we pretend that there are no lessons to be learned that might keep those girls safe...from the mistakes Morgan made that night.
I agree with your main point that making a rock concert or other public venue 100% safe for everyone is not possible. Adults do have to accept responsibility for themselves.
However, we don't know a lot of the facts.
The UVA student and her father both witnessed MH appearing to hitchhike on the bridge, but we don't know for certain that she voluntarily entered the vehicle of a stranger.
The hitchhiking may have been a desperate effort to get away from someone or some group who were threatening her.
Pleading with the athletes for a ride (destination withheld by LE) may also indicate a feeling of being threatened.
In my opinion, the problem may be due to outdated attitudes; as you say, "dangerous fantasies."
Seems to me that MH was trusting people around her, probably because of their connections to college. Her thinking was like, "This area is college town, all
nice young people."
"To better yourself, go to college."
"At college, you will make the friendships to last a lifetime."
"Colleges are very selective, so at college you can be sure that you are meeting the right sort of people."
"People who go to college are either from very successful families, or else they are very talented and ambitious. You can't go wrong with socializing at a college."
"College faculty and staff are the brainiest people in our society, and their influence is always positive and beneficial. They never abuse their authority."
"$140K in red ink is well worth the wonderful experience you will have a college."
"College faculty & staff don't get paid more than a few pennies. They do their jobs because they are just good people. They dont care about money or power the way corporate types do."
"The heavy drinking and drug abuse will have no lasting negative effect; as soon as the student leaves college, they are swept up into challenging & rewarding careers, and instantly put the 'partying' behind them."
"To get a good job, get a good education. Paying back the debt will only take a couple years."
"A mind is a terrible thing to waste [by not going away to an expensive private college]."
"To go to an expensive private college is to move up-class."
"To get into a car with other college kids is okay. All college kids & their associates are 'nice.'"
"Nothing can really go wrong in a college; everyone just naturally looks out for each other."
"Cherish these days. These are your golden years. Once you leave academia, nothing will ever be the same."
"Once you leave college, finding someone to marry is almost impossible."
Part of these delusions are based on adult revisions of their own experience at college in decades long past. For example, Grandfather would take a break from his long hours of studying chemistry to informally join with fellow students on Friday afternoons for a quick game of football. His tale becomes, "Oh, boy, did we have fun, all we ever did was play football ..." Consider the industry that college sports has morphed into now.
A future mother, tired in her college days from long hours in the university language lab, would occasionally slip out late on Saturday night for a glass of wine with her roommate, come home around 1 am & fall asleep watching TV on the couch. The tale she tells her children might be, "We were all hippies
Every night the party would begin at 11pm ... We would all go to the Rat, get totally smashed and then just fall out wherever ..."
People don't want to say that they worked hard, took their work very seriously, and only rarely behaved in any wild manner; because they don't want to come across (even to themselves) as boring. So they distort their memories, but thereby inadvertently teach their children, and other young people, that college is supposed to be a four-year party surrounded by intimate, loving & supportive friends.
So we see a Snowball Effect, with each generation pushing college into more and more of a foolish and dissolute waste of time.
Please don't misunderstand: College is a useful and worthwhile experience for those who are talented academically, and genuinely interested in research, scholarship and writing. Roughly 10% of our population can benefit from obtaining a BA degree.
However, college these days is being way oversold. And, sentimentalized, which can lead to terrible disappointment. Derek Bok once said that something like Harvard is 4 years of Club Med, plus courses, to explain why the tuition cost so much. Problem is we are not all rock stars & we can't afford the Club Med.
Obviously, MH was not enjoying that evening, but she didn't feel free to just ask for help getting home. Why not?