Found Deceased VA - Nicole Clardy Mittendorff, 31, Woodbridge, 13 April 2016 - #2

[Lilibet]

Or some employees encourage mental health days regardless of what their employer thinks.[emoji6]

Ha! Yes, there's that too, of course.

 

[beach]

I'm confused. Are you saying that you can be not well enough to go to work, yet ok to run trails?

If she was feeling emotionally / mentally unwell then she could absolutely want to go out for a run to clear her head. Mooo! If she's an avid runner, she knows the mental benefits of it.

EXACTLY. Obviously she was suffering excruciating emotional pain. FGS, her mental state was torturous enough that it caused her to take her own life.

 

[just the facts pls]

What I don't understand is if there was a suicide note in the car and LE picked up her car on Saturday, why did it take until Thursday to acknowledge the suicide note and find her then. Why the delay?


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I agree RP Sleuth. This is something that has been troubling me since the reports came out. Other missing persons listed on the state police web site include information on mental and physical health in the event the missing person needs immediate medical assistance. Suicidal ideation is a serious issue that also requires immediate medical assistance.

So perhaps even police were not convinced she was suicidal?

Did they not think the note was written by her?

Did they have the note analyzed to officially confirm she wrote it?

I am also interested if the note said anything that might imply she was under emotional or psychological coercion. I would like to know if it's safe to rule out that she was blackmailed. She downloaded a batch of files before her death. What were those files, and why did she want/need them?

 

[roadrunnermt]

:welcome: to the conversation Hoo. My ex-husband was a firefighter in my area, now retired. Back when it was uncommon for females to be firefighters, our area was deciding whether to hire some female applicants. There were some hateful attitudes and comments made not from behind computer screens but in face to face conversations. Some of the worst came not from the firefighters, but from their wives. Amazing and sad to see how little has changed in 30 years.

I would be willing to bet a lot of wives do have issues and bet some are behind those computer screens. My son-in-law is a FF and until recently also worked 24 on/24 off. This schedule is horrific for bottom line jealousy and affairs we are hearing of and we are talking not a busy 24-hr nonstop but bunks and sleeping at the firehouse. Why? Why can't they change to 12-hour schedules? You need solid trusting relationships to endure those 24 hr shifts and it's extremely difficult on the wives/husbands/and children at home. The wife may have 5 kids at home and needs emotional and physical support from FF hubby with school nights, etc. I think if they intend to make big progress in changes this needs to be highly considered.

Also wanted to say the posts regarding NM were 12/15. We know this was behind her shutting down her social networks, which likely contributed as well IMO because this shut out many of her loved ones in her social network that supported her thereby sinking her deeper away from the world outside of her work difficulties.

 

[just the facts pls]

I am devastated to find out that her manner of death was hanging. It is also very unusual since women are less likely to take their own lives in a violent manner, though of course exceptions do exist. Older white women, as a demographic, have been reported in recent years of having a sharp decline in life span, due to both accidental drug overdose and an increased risk of suicide. Perhaps more public awareness of these trends and cyberbullying might help stop the situation from getting worse.

 

[just the facts pls]

I would be willing to bet a lot of wives do have issues and bet some are behind those computer screens.

I support a thorough investigation of that board, including IP logs and tracing to find out whose computer/phone it came from.

That's the only way we will ever know for sure was behind it, and who to hold accountable.

 

[Elle*Bee]

I would be willing to bet a lot of wives do have issues and bet some are behind those computer screens. My son-in-law is a FF and until recently also worked 24 on/24 off. This schedule is horrific for bottom line jealousy and affairs we are hearing of and we are talking not a busy 24-hr nonstop but bunks and sleeping at the firehouse. Why? Why can't they change to 12-hour schedules? You need solid trusting relationships to endure those 24 hr shifts and it's extremely difficult on the wives/husbands/and children at home. The wife may have 5 kids at home and needs emotional and physical support from FF hubby with school nights, etc. I think if they intend to make big progress in changes this needs to be highly considered.

Also wanted to say the posts regarding NM were 12/15. We know this was behind her shutting down her social networks, which likely contributed as well IMO because this shut out many of her loved ones in her social network that supported her thereby sinking her deeper away from the world outside of her work difficulties.

You may be on to something here. My hubby was a cop in northern Virginia (Arlington Co,). Also a very stressful job. He worked four 10-hour shifts, then off three full days. That schedule gave him plenty of time to connect with me and spend one on one time with our very young children. I wonder why the Fire department couldn't do something similar.

 

[helpfulcharlie]

FWIW, that site has been a cesspool for years. There are many, many examples of the kind of public humiliation demonstrated in this case. The owner CLAIMS to disallow it, but there are years of it right there on the site that have never been taken down. While I'm 100% pro free speech, I'm also 100% against the publication of private information and photos of private individuals against their will. I believe that those have been harmed by that site have civil and criminal recourse available to them, should they choose to pursue it.

The site has a small minority of quite active trolls who take advantage of anonymity, reveal the identities of others, bully, harass, post revenge *advertiser censored* and more. There have been multiple stalking and revenge *advertiser censored* related arrests related to the site, and I hope to god there are more, and soon.

At a certain point during this investigation, I actually thought of that site, and wondered if anything had been posted there prior to her going missing. I was not shocked or surprised at all to find out there had been prior postings.

 

[otto]

FWIW, that site has been a cesspool for years. There are many, many examples of the kind of public humiliation demonstrated in this case. The owner CLAIMS to disallow it, but there are years of it right there on the site that have never been taken down. While I'm 100% pro free speech, I'm also 100% against the publication of private information and photos of private individuals against their will. I believe that those have been harmed by that site have civil and criminal recourse available to them, should they choose to pursue it.

The site has a small minority of quite active trolls who take advantage of anonymity, reveal the identities of others, bully, harass, post revenge *advertiser censored* and more. There have been multiple stalking and revenge *advertiser censored* related arrests related to the site, and I hope to god there are more, and soon.

At a certain point during this investigation, I actually thought of that site, and wondered if anything had been posted there prior to her going missing. I was not shocked or surprised at all to find out there had been prior postings.

"Fairfax Underground was founded on the idea of creating a zone of unfettered free speech on local issues, but that idealism has sometimes given way to a darker reality. Trolling on the forum has resulted in a criminal conviction, a bomb scare, reports of stalking and more."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/loca...67f9bc-19ba-11e5-93b7-5eddc056ad8a_story.html

 

[MzOpinion8d]

You may be on to something here. My hubby was a cop in northern Virginia (Arlington Co,). Also a very stressful job. He worked four 10-hour shifts, then off three full days. That schedule gave him plenty of time to connect with me and spend one on one time with our very young children. I wonder why the Fire department couldn't do something similar.

I think firefighters only work like 10 shifts a month, which actually gives them a lot of time off.

 

[Wolf Dreamer]

"Fairfax Underground was founded on the idea of creating a zone of unfettered free speech on local issues, but that idealism has sometimes given way to a darker reality. Trolling on the forum has resulted in a criminal conviction, a bomb scare, reports of stalking and more."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/loca...67f9bc-19ba-11e5-93b7-5eddc056ad8a_story.html

Not to mention http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenint...w-fights-anonymous-harassers-on-the-internet/

 

[otto]

Not to mention http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenint...w-fights-anonymous-harassers-on-the-internet/

Thanks - I read that too. It appears that people have tried for years to have content removed from the website, and have been unsuccessful. Although the owner claims that only truthful content is allowed to be published, clearly that claim is not truthful.

Slanderous online comments are extremely destructive to one's reputation, and there's virtually nothing that can be done to have them removed once a gang of crazy people decide to target someone. Even if Nicole was successful in having comments removed from one website, another one would pop up with the same content. As I see it, there are some very angry people with too much time on their hands who take pleasure in tormenting others via forums. My best guess for why it happens is jealousy: the more successful the target, the more they enjoy perpetrating the harassment.

I appreciated the comment upthread about the possibility that the comments are from wives of firefighters. That didn't occur to me, but now that I think about it, it seems quite plausible.<modsnip> I am confident that at least some of Nicole's tormentors are female, and that they are gloating over the consequence of their actions.

 

[eileenhawkeye]

I can't say that I'm surprised that people are speculating that it was the wives harassing Nicole online. There's absolutely no way that men would ever have a problem with the only female in their boys-clubs workplace. And guess what? If it was a wife posting all that stuff, the only reason she knows about it is because her husband came home and made Nicole out to be the devil. This "There must be a woman behind this!" is getting tiring...especially on a true crime forum where most perps are men. They are more than capable of harassing women. But nope, women are "catty" and "jealous" and this is what they do.

 

[otto]

I can't say that I'm surprised that people are speculating that it was the wives harassing Nicole online. There's absolutely no way that men would ever have a problem with the only female in their boys-clubs workplace. And guess what? If it was a wife posting all that stuff, the only reason she knows about it is because her husband came home and made Nicole out to be the devil. This "There must be a woman behind this!" is getting tiring...especially on a true crime forum where most perps are men. They are more than capable of harassing women. But nope, women are "catty" and "jealous" and this is what they do.

Perpetrators of bullying are too often women. The stats are available through a simply google search on workplace bullying.

 

[eileenhawkeye]

Perpetrators of bullying are too often women. The stats are available through a simply google search on workplace bullying.

Yes, and she worked with all men in a male-dominated field.

It's a forum for all Volunteer Firefighters...It's filled with disgusting, misogynic language....but no, it must be the wives posting. The men are innocent!

 

[otto]

Yes, and she worked with all men in a male-dominated field.

It's a forum for all Volunteer Firefighters...It's filled with disgusting, misogynic language....but no, it must be the wives posting. The men are innocent!

That's not what I said. What I said is that I'm inclined to believe that some women were also behind the online harassment of Nicole.

The forum is for people to post anything about the Fairfax area, and is not specific to the fire department.

 

[tlcya]

I do not speculate as to the sex of NM's tormentor.

I simply spoke to my own personal experience 30 years ago and the attitudes small minded persons had regarding women in what in the past were considered "male" fields. Small minded people come in all sexes, races and religions. I do not postulate that only females can be "catty" I postulate that you can find hatefulness coming from a lot of unexpected places. My own expectation was that my fellow firefighter wives would feel as I did. And I was surprised and let down that they did not. Do not misunderstand, in the circumstance I described, there were plenty of firefighters who were not happy either. But it was my fellow firefighter wives who were the most vocal to me and that really took me aback at the time. So much so that I recall some of the hurtful words used to this day.

30 years later and do you know how many female firefighters are in my local department? Two.

 

[SCHMAE]

I am devastated to find out that her manner of death was hanging. It is also very unusual since women are less likely to take their own lives in a violent manner, though of course exceptions do exist. Older white women, as a demographic, have been reported in recent years of having a sharp decline in life span, due to both accidental drug overdose and an increased risk of suicide. Perhaps more public awareness of these trends and cyberbullying might help stop the situation from getting worse.

Is it unusual enough that it may not have been her ? I hope they find the bullies. I'm so sad for her and I know she is at peace today. First responders are probably seeing the effects of bullying on a daily basis when they respond to calls. You would think that would give them more empathy towards other humans. Apparently NOT so much !

 

[Meemaw12]

Not to mention http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenint...w-fights-anonymous-harassers-on-the-internet/

This from the article

http://www.pewinternet.org/2014/10/22/online-harassment/

 

[Meemaw12]

VA HOUSE BILL 1635
Amendment to prior bill

Completed Legislative Action
Spectrum: Partisan Bill (Republican 1-0)
Status: Passed on March 16 2015 - 100% progression
Action: 2015-03-16 - Governor: Acts of Assembly Chapter text (CHAP0128)
Text: Latest bill text (Chaptered)

Summary
Defamation; statute of limitations. Provides that if a publisher of defamatory statements publishes anonymously or under a false identity on the Internet, an action may be filed and the statute of limitations shall be tolled until the identity of the publisher is discovered or, by the exercise of due diligence, reasonably should have been discovered.

Needs to be country wide 

This from above Nytimes article 




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