Not at all. I don't think anyone here has the opinion that online bullying, harassment, and slander is nothing more than "boys will be boys" - at least I sure hope not. Online harassment destroys reputations, interferes with careers, and damages relationships. I can't imagine that anyone would view that type of destructive behavior as "boys will be boys" - except perhaps those who perpetrate the harassment.
Found Deceased VA - Nicole Clardy Mittendorff, 31, Woodbridge, 13 April 2016 - #2
- Thread starter beach
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Not at all. I don't think anyone here has the opinion that online bullying, harassment, and slander is nothing more than "boys will be boys" - at least I sure hope not. Online harassment destroys reputations, interferes with careers, and damages relationships. I can't imagine that anyone would view that type of destructive behavior as "boys will be boys" - except perhaps those who perpetrate the harassment.
Perhaps you could link some comments that were posted on this forum where "most everyone agreed that it was men engaging in locker room talk". I have followed this discussion from the beginning, and I haven't read those types of comments here. Is it possible that those comments were seen on other forums and social media pages?
Eileen730
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MOO
they wont do that!
I do think think they should put up a billboard with her picture and something on it like
did your words kill Nicole????
It happens. There are many ill intentioned people who troll the internet and specifically target people because they hold a different opinion. Because trolls don't like that different opinion, those trolls decide to interfere with the lives of those who hold that different opinion. False claims are made, those claims are repeated, and the false claims take on a life of their own.
In the case of Nicole, we have a very capable young woman who excelled in her chosen profession. Clearly some people were intimidated by her, and chose to attack her character to slow her down.
The only way that the IP addresses can be obtained is if police initiate an investigation through the cyber crime unit. Without a request from a government authority, the website owner and host server will not cooperate with the victim of online harassment and slander.
popsicle
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http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenint...w-fights-anonymous-harassers-on-the-internet/
This same owner turned the IP addresses over to this woman.
Gm everyone.
I am really sad Nicole chose to end her life. As a victim of harassment at work she could have had a strong case against her employer should she have chosen to denounce the comments. It is apparent they were made by people with "inside information".
That said, the effect of cyberstalking is devastating. I wish she would have chosen to talk to someone instead about this. Even if this was not a criminal matter, she could have gone the civil route and place a complaint against her employer and the website , just to force them to investigate the source of the comments.
I do not want to speculate about this; this was a huge loss for a family and I just hope one day the ones left behind can achieve some sense of justice and peace.
I am really sad Nicole chose to end her life. As a victim of harassment at work she could have had a strong case against her employer should she have chosen to denounce the comments. It is apparent they were made by people with "inside information".
That said, the effect of cyberstalking is devastating. I wish she would have chosen to talk to someone instead about this. Even if this was not a criminal matter, she could have gone the civil route and place a complaint against her employer and the website , just to force them to investigate the source of the comments.
I do not want to speculate about this; this was a huge loss for a family and I just hope one day the ones left behind can achieve some sense of justice and peace.
That was a 2.5 year long case that went through the courts. I don't believe that the website owner provided that information after a simple request from the victim.
I don't have time to reread the entire article, but didn't she identify the perpetrator of the harassment because he used the same language with her in person?
BayouBelle_LA
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rbbm
From the link - http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenint...w-fights-anonymous-harassers-on-the-internet/
Her colleagues were the perpetrators of the online bullying.
You can bring a suit against someone that has defamed you 'anonymously' online. Her law allows more time to discover the identity of the perp or perps. Good for her.
colette
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I don't think the words of another person killed Nicole but a combination of factors in her life. The words and poor treatment did not help, but Nicole made her choice on how to respond to them and other issues. It is sad that she felt her only option was to end her life when she could have had so much more.
I think these people should be brought to light as bullies, but not murderers. I think a lawsuit would be good. It seems to have been a hostile work environment.
I think these people should be brought to light as bullies, but not murderers. I think a lawsuit would be good. It seems to have been a hostile work environment.
That is very interesting indeed! What if someone didn't know the State of the online slanderer - is there a process?
What I gathered from the article, you have to sue the website owner in addition to the anonymous posters. The website owner can reveal the IP addresses of those that commented. You would then petition the internet provider of those IP addresses to get the name on the account. This is all civil court though. I'm not sure what criminal charges would apply but law enforcement would be able to get the information more quickly if laws have been broken.
CFlo
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Find Nicole FB has been changed to Celebrating Nicole.
Services announced as well as suggestions for charitable donations:
Nicole’s generous and loving spirit, as well as her legacy of selfless care for others will be celebrated and honored at McLean Bible Church (8925 Leesburg Pike, Vienna, VA) on April 28, 2016. Visitation begins at 10:00am and the service will take place at 1:00pm.
In lieu of flowers the family requests donations be made to one of the following charities:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline '1-800-273-TALK (8255)' - www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
BullyPaws - www.bullypaws.org
Services announced as well as suggestions for charitable donations:
Nicole’s generous and loving spirit, as well as her legacy of selfless care for others will be celebrated and honored at McLean Bible Church (8925 Leesburg Pike, Vienna, VA) on April 28, 2016. Visitation begins at 10:00am and the service will take place at 1:00pm.
In lieu of flowers the family requests donations be made to one of the following charities:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline '1-800-273-TALK (8255)' - www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
BullyPaws - www.bullypaws.org
Frankie Hellis
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As you and I both know from the MK/AK sites, some of which still exist today.
D
Deleted member 169742
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Hi ... directly prior to Nicoles disappearance ... I observed a Nicole on the social media site called experience project. She had replied to a lady who was distraught over a relationship. She identified herself as 31-35, a runner and emt from the DC suburbs.
As experience project was shutting down I noticed her replies to several questions ... one person urged her to use another site like facebook ... she replied that she had to shut that account down and felt lonely losing EP
I then noticed a good-bye EP letter from her the following morning which she signed nicole ... at EP, users rarely use a real name.
I was unusually concerned when I read the letter ... rather than a general "good bye to EP", like the others were doing, it seemed more like an end of life letter. It was short, I mulled replying. Now, I wish I had that moment back. To say something, anything. I did check her profile, noticed about 30 stories, just a few friends. I did read several of the stories.
Did not see her online again.
EP shut down about a week later.
Prior to the shutdown, EP offered a download of stories and messages to your phone.
I have no idea if that was the same Nicole. But, if it was, that download of her stories might be a real treasure to her family, considering the loss. My impression, after reading a few stories, was there was something there.
I so wish I had replied.
May blessings touch all
May loneliness never arrive at your doorstep
As experience project was shutting down I noticed her replies to several questions ... one person urged her to use another site like facebook ... she replied that she had to shut that account down and felt lonely losing EP
I then noticed a good-bye EP letter from her the following morning which she signed nicole ... at EP, users rarely use a real name.
I was unusually concerned when I read the letter ... rather than a general "good bye to EP", like the others were doing, it seemed more like an end of life letter. It was short, I mulled replying. Now, I wish I had that moment back. To say something, anything. I did check her profile, noticed about 30 stories, just a few friends. I did read several of the stories.
Did not see her online again.
EP shut down about a week later.
Prior to the shutdown, EP offered a download of stories and messages to your phone.
I have no idea if that was the same Nicole. But, if it was, that download of her stories might be a real treasure to her family, considering the loss. My impression, after reading a few stories, was there was something there.
I so wish I had replied.
May blessings touch all
May loneliness never arrive at your doorstep
popsicle
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My 2nd dog came from bullypaws. They are wonderful and she is such a loving little bully dog.
Inspector Gidget
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We have to remember this was not your typical workplace.Where you could go off and do your own job.Firemen work together as a team,in the station,on the truck and going into burning buildings.It is important to get along.Being a brotherhood means they have your back.I wonder if Nicole wondered does anyone have her back after being bullied imagine the remarks and looks that were given to her at work.What gets me is the double standard,if a married man was to engage in an intimate relationship with another woman.They would cheer him on,but if a woman does it she is called every bad name under the sun.What I read on that website will never be erased from my mind.It was just that graphic.They clearly have no respect for women.
Sadly, those bullying creatures do not see themselves in the wrong. They are heartless yet see themselves as being right when "outing" people whose choices they oppose. Those horrible posters are self important loathsome and hate-filled individuals who show absolutely no remorse for ridiculing a women who ultimately chose to hang herself. Even accusing her of further wrong doing because she made the ultimate choice to end her life. These people need to be uncovered, exposed and prosecuted. There is no way, IMO, that their actions on a public forum and very likely in the work environment were not the final straw that pushed Nicole over the edge.
Admin Note
We understand the rules can be confusing, and frankly, MzOpinion8d is correct. The Rules and TOS here are necessary to keep order and to preserve the integrity of any investigation and/or search. They exist so that rumors don't muddy the discussion and distract from the facts; so that innocent people's names aren't inserted causing their lives to be opened for sleuthing and prompting "google hits"; ....for more reasons than I could ever begin to list here. Though the rules may seem oppressive on the surface, they are here to protect ALL of us as well as the victim/investigation.
That said, we understand that rarely are things black and white. More often than not, there are plenty of grey areas. We're flexible and willing to bend & make exceptions, when necessary. We are keenly aware of the cyberbullying aspect of this case - we are not simply ignoring the "elephant in the room". We are extremely opposed to any kind of cyberbullying and are personally aware of the effects it can cause people to endure. It is about setting the parameters. What we are not going to do is permit websites that allow cyber-bullying to occur to be linked or mentioned by name. We are adamant about not giving any type of site like that any exposure and certainly no "hits" linked via WS.
However, Cyber Bullying is real and it should be discussed. Discussed often and as openly as possible without linking to cyber-bullying sites.
Please continue the discussion. Since it has now been confirmed by msm that Nicole did suffer from people cyber bullying her it's fine to discuss.
At some point, we may start a new thread in our cyber bully forum but for now, it's important to talk about Nicole's tragedy and hopefully make those people who did the cyber bullying realize there are consequences when you Cyber Bully someone.
What kind of site was EP? I've never heard of it.