Found Deceased VA - Nicole Clardy Mittendorff, 31, Woodbridge, 13 April 2016 - #2

[MiniMoo]

Absolutely.

It isn't always about looking down a tunnel with that tunnel getting narrower and narrower for some. Sometimes it is just a choice even though it may seem illogical in the eyes of whoever, but it is still a choice

Mental illness isn't an opinion or a social label, it is a medical diagnosis. It is important to be careful and responsible when you describe someone as mentally ill; that description should, ideally, come with a medical diagnosis.

Thinking differently than others does not make you mentally ill. Committing suicide does not mean that you have a mental illness. It's very important to remember that in order to be able to more effectively prevent suicides and help those who are suicidal.

 

[SCHMAE]

I couldn't agree more Otto. The county needs to be clear that this will NOT be tolerated at any level, not brush it aside as if it's not a concern at this time.

My take on that is the FD is CYA mode and know they are going to have to answer some serious questions but cannot or will not right now so shift the focus back to Nicole and away from their own bad behavior.

 

[colette]

This is what we have suspected for days and the bold sentence below is not the right thing to say under the circumstances: to focus on "coping with tragedy" rather than reflecting on the role of the employer and getting tot he bottom of it?

"Concern that Fairfax County firefighter found dead was a victim of bullying

...
In the past several hours however, we have become aware of online message boards in which Mittendorff's name has been used in an extremely negative manner.

Some of the posts purported to have been written by members of the Fairfax County Fire Department, where she worked for three years.

We have been told the department is aware of this online activity, but today they focused solely on coping with this very recent tragedy."

http://wjla.com/news/local/concern-...refighter-found-dead-was-a-victim-of-bullying

Who first became aware of the online bullying and harassment in the Fairfax County Fire Department mere hours before this statement was released?

I highly doubt they just learned of the bullying, since it caused her to move to another fire department. IMO

 

[Meemaw12]

https://ffxfirerescue.wordpress.com...ssues-statement-regarding-nicole-mittendorff/

UPDATE: Fire Chief Bowers Issues Statement Regarding Nicole Mittendorff
Posted by Fairfax County Fire & Rescue Department
I would like to take a minute to address the local web forum posts that so many of you have been discussing regarding Firefighter-Nicole Mittendorff. We at Fairfax Fire and Rescue are aware of the posts and are looking into the matter. I assure you that my department can not and will not tolerate bullying of any kind. At this time, we are respecting the privacy of Firefighter-Paramedic Mittendorff’s family, and providing support to the men and women of the Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department who are grieving under these challenging circumstances. We will thoroughly investigate this matter and take any appropriate actions needed. However, right now we ask that we be allowed to grieve the loss of one of our own.

– Fire Chief Richard Bowers


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[Sparky]

Admin Note

We understand the rules can be confusing, and frankly, MzOpinion8d is correct. The Rules and TOS here are necessary to keep order and to preserve the integrity of any investigation and/or search. They exist so that rumors don't muddy the discussion and distract from the facts; so that innocent people's names aren't inserted causing their lives to be opened for sleuthing and prompting "google hits"; ....for more reasons than I could ever begin to list here. Though the rules may seem oppressive on the surface, they are here to protect ALL of us as well as the victim/investigation.

That said, we understand that rarely are things black and white. More often than not, there are plenty of grey areas. We're flexible and willing to bend & make exceptions, when necessary. We are keenly aware of the cyberbullying aspect of this case - we are not simply ignoring the "elephant in the room". We are extremely opposed to any kind of cyberbullying and are personally aware of the effects it can cause people to endure. It is about setting the parameters. What we are not going to do is permit websites that allow cyber-bullying to occur to be linked or mentioned by name. We are adamant about not giving any type of site like that any exposure and certainly no "hits" linked via WS.

However, Cyber Bullying is real and it should be discussed. Discussed often and as openly as possible without linking to cyber-bullying sites.

Please continue the discussion. Since it has now been confirmed by msm that Nicole did suffer from people cyber bullying her it's fine to discuss.

At some point, we may start a new thread in our cyber bully forum but for now, it's important to talk about Nicole's tragedy and hopefully make those people who did the cyber bullying realize there are consequences when you Cyber Bully someone.

Bumping

 

[LaborDayRN]

My take on that is the FD is CYA mode and know they are going to have to answer some serious questions but cannot or will not right now so shift the focus back to Nicole and away from their own bad behavior.

I think you're right, but the jokes on them IMO. It only makes them look worse to me. :notgood:

 

[LaborDayRN]

https://ffxfirerescue.wordpress.com...ssues-statement-regarding-nicole-mittendorff/

UPDATE: Fire Chief Bowers Issues Statement Regarding Nicole Mittendorff
Posted by Fairfax County Fire & Rescue Department
I would like to take a minute to address the local web forum posts that so many of you have been discussing regarding Firefighter-Nicole Mittendorff. We at Fairfax Fire and Rescue are aware of the posts and are looking into the matter. I assure you that my department can not and will not tolerate bullying of any kind. At this time, we are respecting the privacy of Firefighter-Paramedic Mittendorff’s family, and providing support to the men and women of the Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department who are grieving under these challenging circumstances. We will thoroughly investigate this matter and take any appropriate actions needed. However, right now we ask that we be allowed to grieve the loss of one of our own.

– Fire Chief Richard Bowers


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm glad someone finally decided to address the elephant in the room.....

 

[SaraSue]

I hope that this is a ground breaking case in taking action to prevent online anonymous bullying of strangers and acquaintances.

I hope that women in Virginia push hard against online bullying. Policy and legistlation obviously needs to be set in place to prevent anything like this from happening again. That policy and legislation should be considered in a broader context than Virginia. Free speech is one thing, but free speech to the extent of anonymously causing damage to another person's reputation is taking free speech too far. Without legislation, websites owners and host servers will continue to deny removal of slanderous online comments and statements.

Again, apologies if not allowed because it does refer to that site but a positive that may come out of this is that one of the ADAs in Fairfax led a charge against this site within the last 2 years and I'm told her prosecution regarding this very thing set up new case law within Fairfax which could very well help in this instance get it shut down for good.

I have no doubt that with all of the publicity now and the pressure on fffd, heads will roll at the fire department as well.

It's a little sad that the posts keep getting reposted on the Facebook page where her husband has been reading and commenting, imho. Their pain is raw enough, as is their anger at this that I think the continuous repost of those hateful words will just continue to rip their wounds wide open. No disrespect to anyone who disagrees with that, I just feel the family dealing with their grief is priority at the moment.

 

[otto]

https://ffxfirerescue.wordpress.com...ssues-statement-regarding-nicole-mittendorff/

UPDATE: Fire Chief Bowers Issues Statement Regarding Nicole Mittendorff
Posted by Fairfax County Fire & Rescue Department
I would like to take a minute to address the local web forum posts that so many of you have been discussing regarding Firefighter-Nicole Mittendorff. We at Fairfax Fire and Rescue are aware of the posts and are looking into the matter. I assure you that my department can not and will not tolerate bullying of any kind. At this time, we are respecting the privacy of Firefighter-Paramedic Mittendorff’s family, and providing support to the men and women of the Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department who are grieving under these challenging circumstances. We will thoroughly investigate this matter and take any appropriate actions needed. However, right now we ask that we be allowed to grieve the loss of one of our own.

– Fire Chief Richard Bowers


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Although this is a step in the right direction, it's not enough. It still attempts to put the Fairfax Fire/Rescue Department in the role of grieving, caring colleagues of Nicole. However, if her colleagues genuinely cared about Nicole, they would have done something about this when it first happened. I suspect that not all are grieving the loss, but rather scrambling through their computer history attempting to erase any connection to the slanderous remarks.

I suspect that when online bullies are successful in interfering with someone's life, or damaging someone's reputation, they gloat rather than grieve.

 

[otto]

Again, apologies if not allowed because it does refer to that site but a positive that may come out of this is that one of the ADAs in Fairfax led a charge against this site within the last 2 years and I'm told her prosecution regarding this very thing set up new case law within Fairfax which could very well help in this instance get it shut down for good.

I have no doubt that with all of the publicity now and the pressure on fffd, heads will roll at the fire department as well.

It's a little sad that the posts keep getting reposted on the Facebook page where her husband has been reading and commenting, imho. Their pain is raw enough, as is their anger at this that I think the continuous repost of those hateful words will just continue to rip their wounds wide open. No disrespect to anyone who disagrees with that, I just feel the family dealing with their grief is priority at the moment.

Reposting any of the comments, regardless of the intent, is the worst thing that anyone can do.

 

[SaraSue]

Although this is a step in the right direction, it's not enough. It still attempts to put the Fairfax Fire/Rescue Department in the role of grieving, caring colleagues of Nicole. However, if her colleagues genuinely cared about Nicole, they would have done something about this when it first happened. I suspect that not all are grieving the loss, but rather scrambling through their computer history attempting to erase any connection to the slanderous remarks.

I suspect that when online bullies are successful in interfering with someone's life, or damaging someone's reputation, they gloat rather than grieve.

I agree with about 95% of what you're saying, and the RN from fairfax county has confirmed exactly what you've said re grieving. I don't think the posters in question are smart enough to realize they're not untouchable. One thing I'm pretty sure about- their cop buddies are likely not going to give them any help on disassociating from those posts. You are absolutely correct that it's too little, too late in re: fire chief actions, but someone will be held responsible and hopefully new conduct procedures will be set in place that will help other women there.

 

[RPsleuth]

Everyone that is outraged about the bullying and resulting death needs to contact Nancy Grace! It's time to publicly shame the Fairfax Fire Department and get national attention. By making this an example we may see those responsible charged with a crime.


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[otto]

I agree with about 95% of what you're saying, and the RN from fairfax county has confirmed exactly what you've said re grieving. I don't think the posters in question are smart enough to realize they're not untouchable. One thing I'm pretty sure about- their cop buddies are likely not going to give them any help on disassociating from those posts. You are absolutely correct that it's too little, too late in re: fire chief actions, but someone will be held responsible and hopefully new conduct procedures will be set in place that will help other women there.

Police need to make a request to the website host server for the email and IP information of everyone who said anything about Nicole, but that's just the first step. If law is not in place regarding slanderous online comments, then nothing can be done legally. If professional conduct does not identify consequences for badmouthing colleagues, then the perpetrators of the slander cannot be disciplined through their work.

It's quite possible that the most that will happen is the people behind this will move to a different job.

 

[grsz11]

I highly doubt they just learned of the bullying, since it caused her to move to another fire department. IMO

Do you have anything that shows this is the case?

 

[MargeGunderson]

Again, apologies if not allowed because it does refer to that site but a positive that may come out of this is that one of the ADAs in Fairfax led a charge against this site within the last 2 years and I'm told her prosecution regarding this very thing set up new case law within Fairfax which could very well help in this instance get it shut down for good.

I have no doubt that with all of the publicity now and the pressure on fffd, heads will roll at the fire department as well.

It's a little sad that the posts keep getting reposted on the Facebook page where her husband has been reading and commenting, imho. Their pain is raw enough, as is their anger at this that I think the continuous repost of those hateful words will just continue to rip their wounds wide open. No disrespect to anyone who disagrees with that, I just feel the family dealing with their grief is priority at the moment.

I really hope this gets that site finally shut down as well. It's vulgar and exists only to publicly humiliate and cyber bully. I am pretty appalled that people are reposting the comments. There is no need to repeat any of it.

 

[tlcya]

Again, apologies if not allowed because it does refer to that site but a positive that may come out of this is that one of the ADAs in Fairfax led a charge against this site within the last 2 years and I'm told her prosecution regarding this very thing set up new case law within Fairfax which could very well help in this instance get it shut down for good.

I have no doubt that with all of the publicity now and the pressure on fffd, heads will roll at the fire department as well.

It's a little sad that the posts keep getting reposted on the Facebook page where her husband has been reading and commenting, imho. Their pain is raw enough, as is their anger at this that I think the continuous repost of those hateful words will just continue to rip their wounds wide open. No disrespect to anyone who disagrees with that, I just feel the family dealing with their grief is priority at the moment.

Which is exactly why Websleuths has taken the stance it has. Discuss the very real possible effect the cyber bullying had on Nicole Mittendorff and this case but do not post the hateful, hurtful things that were said about her or name or link in any way to the site they were posted to. The family has lost enough without us adding to their pain by giving airplay to such horrible things. The bolded by me is exactly what we as a community do not need to contribute to.

 

[SimplySara]

Contacting Nancy Grace is a good idea IMO. And you are right to think they gloat rather than grieve. It's driving me and others crazy how these guys act.

 

[grsz11]

I'm sure Nancy Grace is just the kind of attention the family wants. </sarcasm>

 

[roadrunnermt]

Which is exactly why Websleuths has taken the stance it has. Discuss the very real possible effect the cyber bullying had on Nicole Mittendorff and this case but do not post the hateful, hurtful things that were said about her or name or link in any way to the site they were posted to. The family has lost enough without us adding to their pain by giving airplay to such horrible things. The bolded by me is exactly what we as a community do not need to contribute to.

Someone should post this to the findnicole facebook. I hadn't been there to see others still sharing. Sad, sad.

 

[otto]

I think that the owner of the website, and the host server of the website also need to be taken to task. I would be willing to speculate that when Nicole first learned about the online comments, she contacted the website and requested that the content be removed. Most likely, the website told her that without a police request, they were under no obligation to remove the remarks. Nicole probably asked police to intervene, and she was most likely told that there was nothing they could do. If she contacted the host server for the website, again she would have been given the run around. Every single person and business that allowed the online comments to remain on the website should be held responsible.