GUILTY VA - Noah Thomas, 5, Pulaski County, 22 March 2015 #5

[JeannaT]

Well, I like that a lot better than strangers playing in the sand box - but as hard as it is, I think parents need to allow their other children to not grow up in the shadow of the loss of a sibling. The end of that video was very telling - "say I love you". As sad as parents are, and the kids are sad too - but I think the parents need to allow the kids to have breathing space where the grief from the loss of their sibling isn't always present.

 

[vasportsmom]

Maybe the person who suggested the sandbox got the idea from this USA Today article. The article says pics of the grave have been shared on Facebook over 220,000 times.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...box-newborns-grave-brothers-can-play/6556783/

Oh my! I won't judge the choices made by a grieving, loving mother but the idea of a stranger thinking they're entitled to make the same decision for Noah's grave leaves me speechless.


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[arkansasmimi]

Say what?
Who is wanting to do this? What an odd thing to do.
Poor little Noah, he needs to be able to rest in peace. All theses gawkers are becoming more and more bizarre.
I don't like seeing all the photos on Facebook of adults and children posing and smiling at Noah's gravesite, it's turning into an attraction.
I wonder where Noah's family are? Aunts, uncles and grandparents. If I were family I wouldn't be happy with all the pictures on Facebook,and the never ending visitors.
I understand people wanting to pay their respects, but it's now going to far in my opinion.

It is a cemetery, (not a private cemetery anyway) so I DONT THINK, you could keep people from going there. Or taking pictures so forth.. but its just .. just.. cant even find the right word. And jmo, if the Family (no matter which side) spoke out about it.. regardless of what said, they would be crucified.. Again just my opinion.

 

[JeannaT]

It is a cemetery, (not a private cemetery anyway) so I DONT THINK, you could keep people from going there. Or taking pictures so forth.. but its just .. just.. cant even find the right word. And jmo, if the Family (no matter which side) spoke out about it.. regardless of what said, they would be crucified.. Again just my opinion.

Maybe "ghoulish"? I remember a neighbor of Laci Peterson's saying she thought it was "ghoulish" the way long lines of cars would drive by the Peterson house to gawk.

 

[arkansasmimi]

No, there is no way on earth that cemetery would allow that. Highland Memory is actually one of the area's "newer" cemeteries: it has flat markers, paved paths, no really "old" sections with a lot of mortuary art, etc.

Here's the website with a good picture that should give you some idea of what it's usually like: http://www.dignitymemorial.com/highland-memory-gardens/en-us/index.page

(Editing to add there's a whole slideshow of images available through that site.)

I speaking from knowledge of some in Arkansas and in Texas where I have family and friends buried. There are small country cemeteries that allow whatever on the graves. But most where you have perpetual care, they have rules and have to, for the grounds keepers to mow and so forth. This appears to be like that also. Due to the looks of the other gravesites showing in pictures. I saw on one of the FB pages where the dead flowers had been removed (as is custom). One of admin had commented that she had been to the grave and cleaned up. Someone asked about the removal of stuff. Admin stated that grounds workers had taken off the dead flowers only. From pic it was pretty much cleaned off down to the sod. The cemetery give a grieving period (did with my sis in law) and after *advertiser censored* time it was back to the rules. Most cemeteries have signs what is allowed.

 

[arkansasmimi]

OK, I couldn't stand it . . . I just called Highland Memory Gardens with a question about flowers and other memorial items on graves. I learned that their mowing season started March 15 and will run until September 15. For sites where the marker is up, there is a vase for leaving flowers. This matches what I remember about tending graves at Highland; I have friends and family there.

Just after a funeral, they tend to leave the crosses, standing arrangements, etc. for a few days, until they become "dried out." (This site is pretty carefully maintained and mowed often.)

It sounds as if they're leaving the memorials for Noah as it's still a new grave, which seems appropriate given the raw feelings, the permanent marker not being in place yet, etc. Once that's done, I'd expect the cemetery to maintain a much more formal standard.

That was my thinking also. Thanks!

 

[LayzeeDayzee]

I have to say, I feel that the woman who runs the HFMNT page is to the point of being obsessed. The constant photos posted, promises for new photos, her constant comments about how emotional she is, taking her poor daughter to the graveside and then having the audacity to take a close-up photo of her poor little girl looking at the grave, and posting it on FB. None of this is healthy or sane. People talking about having left easter baskets for Noah so that he could enjoy them in heaven.....are you kidding me? I almost get the sense that the group owner is getting caught up in all of the attention and praise and thanks she's receiving and that's becoming less and less about little Noah and more and more about how she can out-do herself in posting more pictures. And I've yet to find the post re: the infamous sandbox. Did it get deleted? So someone was actually suggesting that a sandbox be created on top of his grave?.........is that really what was suggested? smdh.

 

[BrownRice]

I have to say, I feel that the woman who runs the HFMNT page is to the point of being obsessed. The constant photos posted, promises for new photos, her constant comments about how emotional she is, taking her poor daughter to the graveside and then having the audacity to take a close-up photo of her poor little girl looking at the grave, and posting it on FB. None of this is healthy or sane. People talking about having left easter baskets for Noah so that he could enjoy them in heaven.....are you kidding me? I almost get the sense that the group owner is getting caught up in all of the attention and praise and thanks she's receiving and that's becoming less and less about little Noah and more and more about how she can out-do herself in posting more pictures. And I've yet to find the post re: the infamous sandbox. Did it get deleted? So someone was actually suggesting that a sandbox be created on top of his grave?.........is that really what was suggested? smdh.

I think you are spot on. She is completely obsessed. It started out as a nice gesture, but completely overboard and disrespectful at this point. She needs to stop the grave site spectacle and the FB page. Requesting "gas money" is repulsive. The sand box idea is probably from the news story (I remember when it came out). But it's different when it's YOUR kid and the sand box is for YOUR deceased child's SIBLINGS.

Honor the child by helping another child get out of a horrible living situation so they won't be another Noah. Expend your energy by being a CASA volunteer. There are SO many ways to be a good person in this world.

 

[2Hope4]

Oh me...my Grandma rarely corrected me about anything, BUT, at a cemetery she best not catch you even walking over the graves! You walked BEHIND the tombstones!! And yes we visited them often. Every holiday, birthday of the deceased, death of the deceased, etc., and put wreaths on the tombstone, or flowers. But you did NOT step on a grave site!!!

Little Noah, you deserved so much more in life, and I know you aren't seeing any of this now, but to the people left behind to grieve, this is upsetting. You deserve respect.

 

[LayzeeDayzee]

BrownRice -- wow, asking for gas money? Where on the page is that? Did she start a new post requesting that or is it posted under a particular picture and if so which one? IMO she has gone from making this all about little Noah to all about her. Extremely melodramatic. She's posted many times that up until 6 months ago her and her family lived close-by where Noah lived (somewhere on the same property?) but 6 months ago her/her family all relocated to their home-town. She's made comments that she wishes they'd never moved because if they hadn't she feels he'd still be alive today. Wow, self-important much? She goes on and on and on about how her daughter was best friends w/ Noah and that may have been the case but she makes it sound like her daughter is deeply grieving...........and I'm sure to some extent this would be very hard for her daughter, but after 6 months of them having moved away, I somehow doubt that the daughter is as devastated as she keeps telling everyone (to get sympathy/attention?). Might be an idea to spend less time on the computer and more time, real-time, with her daughter and family........you know, the living.

I think you are spot on. She is completely obsessed. It started out as a nice gesture, but completely overboard and disrespectful at this point. She needs to stop the grave site spectacle and the FB page. Requesting "gas money" is repulsive. The sand box idea is probably from the news story (I remember when it came out). But it's different when it's YOUR kid and the sand box is for YOUR deceased child's SIBLINGS.

Honor the child by helping another child get out of a horrible living situation so they won't be another Noah. Expend your energy by being a CASA volunteer. There are SO many ways to be a good person in this world.

 

[vasportsmom]

BrownRice -- wow, asking for gas money? Where on the page is that? Did she start a new post requesting that or is it posted under a particular picture and if so which one? IMO she has gone from making this all about little Noah to all about her. Extremely melodramatic. She's posted many times that up until 6 months ago her and her family lived close-by where Noah lived (somewhere on the same property?) but 6 months ago her/her family all relocated to their home-town. She's made comments that she wishes they'd never moved because if they hadn't she feels he'd still be alive today. Wow, self-important much? She goes on and on and on about how her daughter was best friends w/ Noah and that may have been the case but she makes it sound like her daughter is deeply grieving...........and I'm sure to some extent this would be very hard for her daughter, but after 6 months of them having moved away, I somehow doubt that the daughter is as devastated as she keeps telling everyone (to get sympathy/attention?). Might be an idea to spend less time on the computer and more time, real-time, with her daughter and family........you know, the living.

She lived in the white house at some point but not during the time period that she claims. Her story has changed so much as time has passed. She may have been in it for the right reason at the beginning but, IMO, it is about the attention and FB likes now. That picture of her daughter and the header picture of the strangers she met at the grave did me in. Intruding on and exploiting a child's grief is inexcusable.


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[Makaroni]

First, glad that you came out of lurkdom and I hope you will continue posting with us.
Second, please tell me that you're a troll and aren't serious. Please? Good grief, in what universe would that be appropriate? How do they go from "let's honor him by littering his grave with trinkets and post pictures for FB likes" to "let's completely disrespect him by turning his grave into a litter box for toddlers and stray cats"?


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BBM :lol: I just spit my water reading this.
Okay back to being serious .. Who in their halfway right mind would suggest a sandbox on someone's grave?!? I don't know whether to laugh, or get angry at the ridiculousness of this idea!

 

[courtneyb]

BBM :lol: I just spit my water reading this.
Okay back to being serious .. Who in their halfway right mind would suggest a sandbox on someone's grave?!? I don't know whether to laugh, or get angry at the ridiculousness of this idea!

My grandma would have pinched the back of my arm so hard if I would have dared to walk on top of a grave...I can only imagine if I had plopped down on one to play... Jeez...


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[atm9533]

Well I have looked everywhere and there is no news about the parents. I expected to see additional charges by now.

 

[cluciano63]

If it is determined that he drowned...and IF LE was told that those men saw something down the septic tank...could LE be considered at fault, in any way? Could he have been rescued?

 

[AnnaGrace]

Well I have looked everywhere and there is no news about the parents. I expected to see additional charges by now.

Me too. Or at least news or an update on autopsy results. How did little Noah die?

 

[AnnaGrace]

My grandma would have pinched the back of my arm so hard if I would have dared to walk on top of a grave...I can only imagine if I had plopped down on one to play... Jeez...


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I was raised the same way. To this day, I do not walk on graves.

 

[vasportsmom]

BBM :lol: I just spit my water reading this.
Okay back to being serious .. Who in their halfway right mind would suggest a sandbox on someone's grave?!? I don't know whether to laugh, or get angry at the ridiculousness of this idea!

Oops, I'm sorry. FTR, it's the toddlers that I object to. I like stray cats just fine.
I'm still dumbfounded at that suggestion though. What in the world would make someone think that was appropriate? Given the way things have went on that page lately I wouldn't be shocked if they charged admission and offered pictures, additional charges apply of course.


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[theirmommy]

I wish there was some real news about the case. Hopefully a COD will be released soon.

 

[Luvrosco]

BrownRice -- wow, asking for gas money? Where on the page is that? Did she start a new post requesting that or is it posted under a particular picture and if so which one? IMO she has gone from making this all about little Noah to all about her. Extremely melodramatic. She's posted many times that up until 6 months ago her and her family lived close-by where Noah lived (somewhere on the same property?) but 6 months ago her/her family all relocated to their home-town. She's made comments that she wishes they'd never moved because if they hadn't she feels he'd still be alive today. Wow, self-important much? She goes on and on and on about how her daughter was best friends w/ Noah and that may have been the case but she makes it sound like her daughter is deeply grieving...........and I'm sure to some extent this would be very hard for her daughter, but after 6 months of them having moved away, I somehow doubt that the daughter is as devastated as she keeps telling everyone (to get sympathy/attention?). Might be an idea to spend less time on the computer and more time, real-time, with her daughter and family........you know, the living.

Well said.