WA - Lindsey Baum, 10, McCleary, 26 June 2009 - #18

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whoa.......I sure hope Josh and mom B get the help they need!...

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/93633999.html
more at link!

TUMWATER, Wash. -- The mother of missing girl Lindsey Baum has new troubles, as not only has she lost her daughter; now she's lost her home.

"I never thought we'd be homeless, and we are," said Melissa Baum. She and her son can't afford another night in the Tumwater motel they've been staying.

Baum says her son with special needs could no longer cope in McCleary.

"He has horrible nightmares every night," she said.

Josh expresses guilt over fighting with Lindsey before she disappeared and not walking her home. His behavior problems have escalated and Baum says that prompted a relative who took them in to lock them out.

The Problem Solvers have paid for Baum to stay another two weeks at the motel. The extended stay gives Baum time to send her son back East for the summer to stay with his dad while she looks for work, a place to live, and her missing daughter.
 
seventeenseconds said:
IMG00051.jpg


what do u think?

IMG00052.jpg
Click to expand...

I would say a tentative no? This man is a bit stooped in a way the other guy isn't, and his stride doesn't look as long or as confident. This guy walks like he's older, or injured, or something.
 
carbuff said:
I would say a tentative no? This man is a bit stooped in a way the other guy isn't, and his stride doesn't look as long or as confident. This guy walks like he's older, or injured, or something.
Click to expand...

At first glance, I would have to agree. This man looks older that the one in the video.
 
TakeNote said:
whoa.......I sure hope Josh and mom B get the help they need!...

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/93633999.html
more at link!

TUMWATER, Wash. -- The mother of missing girl Lindsey Baum has new troubles, as not only has she lost her daughter; now she's lost her home.

"I never thought we'd be homeless, and we are," said Melissa Baum. She and her son can't afford another night in the Tumwater motel they've been staying.

Baum says her son with special needs could no longer cope in McCleary.

"He has horrible nightmares every night," she said.

Josh expresses guilt over fighting with Lindsey before she disappeared and not walking her home. His behavior problems have escalated and Baum says that prompted a relative who took them in to lock them out.

The Problem Solvers have paid for Baum to stay another two weeks at the motel. The extended stay gives Baum time to send her son back East for the summer to stay with his dad while she looks for work, a place to live, and her missing daughter.
Click to expand...

I hope so too. Josh is not going to get any better as time goes on unless he does get the help he needs. I wonder if he takes meds and has been off of them due to financial reasons? I have a nephew with aspergers and he definitely needs his meds. Same thing with Melissa. If she regularly takes meds and is off of them - not good at all.
 
The following is a comment by sncharris on the story posted above - that I would like to comment about:

15 hours ago @ KOMO - Seattle, WA - Missing girl\'s mom no... · 4 replies · +8 points
She is able to work. She is not the poor mom she wants people to think. Sure she is greiving but she lied about loosing her job, she lies about why she was kicked out of her relatives home, she lies for her son, even to the courts. He is a violent kid that need to get mental help before he kills someone. She does,t have money for a home but she has money for cigarettes and coffee and a new commputer. She went to the relatives home and let her son threaten her on a daily basis and could not understand why she was being kicked out. People that make comment don't have a clue about wht she does. Sure we feel sorry for her but


This just p!sses me off. How can this family member say "she can work"? Are they in her head? Do they know how she feels? I can only imagine the devastation she feels, along with possible feelings of guilt and thoughts of how she should have done things differently. I would not be able to work and hold it together. Does this family member know what it is like to have a child like Josh to raise on your own? It sucks you dry. I imagine she feels helpless. Why doesn't this family member use their energy to find and list ways Melissa can get help for herself and for Josh. Seriously. What resources are available? Does she have health insurance? Can she get it? Would their meds be completely covered? I am sure she is dealing with deep depression and when you are depressed it is VERY hard to reach out for help.

What can we as a community do to help them? I soooo feel for her and anyone in a situation like this.
 
What can we all do to help Melissa and Josh? I'd like to help. I just don't know what the best form of that would be.
 
RoseWhite said:
What can we all do to help Melissa and Josh? I'd like to help. I just don't know what the best form of that would be.
Click to expand...

I don't know what the best thing to do is either. I am in no position to help financially - but I'm sure there is something we can do. It might help to know a few things first:

1) is Josh attending school in Tumwater?
2) if so, does she want to stay in Tumwater after school is out and he goes to his Dad's for the summer?
3) if not, does she want to be in McCleary?
4) Which services is she utilizing now (public assistance, food stamps, medical, etc.) I don't know what all is out there, but I can research it if she needs help with that.
5) does Josh have an IEP in school? Is he getting the appropriate accommodations in school? Is he ready to be evaluated or re-evaluated thru the school district? (I have some personal experience with this and could help her if needed.)
6) Are there meds Josh or Melissa should be taking that they are not taking? (I really believe Melissa may benefit from an anti-depressant medication and if she does suffer from bi-polar, she needs a regular regimen - be it medication, therapy, or whatever. She should not feel ashamed to seek help, however hard that is to reach out - she must do it.
7) has she considered respite care for Josh - I know this is available for children with behavioral issues in order to provide the parent with much needed breaks. Sometimes, you yourself (the parent) can contact CPS and ask for help.

Another thing is, if Josh is unstable and needing help, Melissa can take him to the emergency room and have him admitted. They will keep him until he is stable on meds (if this is what is needed).

I don't know the entire situation, but I imagine if I were in Melissa's shoes, I would want to crawl in bed and hide from the world. Even when people are reaching out and trying to help, I imagine myself wanting to hide. I hope she has someone close to lean on and provide her unconditional emotional support (if she doesn't, she can contact me via WS and I will be that person).

Anyone else have any ideas?
 
I just recently came upon Lindsey's case, so if this has already been answered I apologize. If LB and JB's dad is in the military, JB should be able to claim certain benefits through the government. Also, I agree with Jules71 about the school, if he is struggling that badly and he has been diagnosed by a doctor with whatever it may be that he has, he should be able to be enrolled into the special education services that the school district offers.

But even if MB can not get help, the state should be able to step in and help her get the help that JB needs.

JMO

M~
 
Thanks Jules and others for your support. The whole reason a group of people went public about help for Melissa and Josh is because of the exact questions you are all asking. We are trying to get them the help they need. Trying to get Josh to his dads. Trying to make sure Melissa takes her meds, getting childcare for Josh, etc., etc., get her back on her feet, get a job, a home, counseling.

It's a shame that family members, so called "friends" and random strangers post such venom for Melissa and her son. With family and friends like hers, who needs enemies, eh?

I felt such compassion for her today. I went and saw her and didn't even bring up her family. She started talking about it and made the comment "I not only lost Lindsey, but my family too". Her eyes were full of tears and she looks so confused and dazed. Does Melissa really deserve all the hatred? And why the hatred? I don't get it and I never will. But you see it over and over in missing child cases. Everyone blames and accuses the mom or dad. Many times for good reason of course :furious: But sometimes, not so much.

The comments on the Komo website sickened me. Is it any wonder Melissa can't pull herself out of her depression? She told me today she just wants to hide in a hole and talk to nobody. I'll keep checking on her daily since she is very close to where I live. I'll try and make sure she is taking her meds, and Josh too. And I'll give her the support she needs right now because I think it's the RIGHT thing to do.

Where is Lindsey??? I'm getting at the end of my rope here.
 
Thank you Breanna for saying what I've been trying to say all day and just couldn't find the right words to say it with.

My heart breaks for Melissa and Josh. I've watched Melissa slowly slip more and more into this depression.. we all have. We knew this was coming and regardless of what we did we couldn't stop it.

I'm so sad that she's hit the bottom.. I pray this is her bottom, I can't see her going much further. I hope with our help and the help of others we can be her ladder back up to a somewhat normal life.

I pray daily for not only Lindsey but for Melissa and Josh too. This nightmare needs to end.

I want to publicly thank you for all you do and have done in the past. You are truly an angel and I am honored to call you my friend.
 
JenniferO said:
Thank you Breanna for saying what I've been trying to say all day and just couldn't find the right words to say it with.

My heart breaks for Melissa and Josh. I've watched Melissa slowly slip more and more into this depression.. we all have. We knew this was coming and regardless of what we did we couldn't stop it.

I'm so sad that she's hit the bottom.. I pray this is her bottom, I can't see her going much further. I hope with our help and the help of others we can be her ladder back up to a somewhat normal life.

I pray daily for not only Lindsey but for Melissa and Josh too. This nightmare needs to end.

I want to publicly thank you for all you do and have done in the past. You are truly an angel and I am honored to call you my friend.
Click to expand...

Back at you Friend.
 
Thank you guys so much for everything you've done.

Next time you see her, please tell her that people she's never met care about her and her kids, and are praying for them and hoping for them.
 
I havent been on Lindsey thread in awhile but does anyone know if Josh has had any kind of counseling to help him with this ? Mellissa should be able to get him insurance and help through the state given her circumstances.
It sounds like he needs ongoing therapy like weekly and if he is on meds sounds like they need adjustments.
If the ex husband was or is in the military then why is Josh getting no benefits there ? Josh needs to be seen by a counselor or perhaps psychiatrist for med managments like immeidatley and see them regulary until he can be stable.
I would think that Melissa could get help as well through the state ...

I don't know but I am sorry to see that they are struggling so badly with everything, I pray that soon we can get closure for them with Lindsey I think of her daily .....
 
Hi Mystic Rose

Josh is frequently seen by doctors, counselors, advocates, judges, social workers, it goes on and on and on. He has a basket of medicine which is monitored and adjusted as needed by medical personnel. Josh still has a lot of energy and rarely sleeps - the more medicine he has the more wide awake he is and then if he get's any type of stimulation, he is really wound up! I really don't know what Josh needs to help him cope better but I do know that Melissa needs an opportunity to pull herself together and grieve for all that has happened over the past year. You have to understand that prior to Lindsey’s abduction Melissa was sad and depressed about her recent divorce....I don't know many people who wouldn’t have been feeling that way because she deeply loved her husband.

After Lindsey went missing she was shocked and terrified. People immediately began judging her because she didn't appear "upset" enough on camera. They say she came across as unfeeling. What the heck did those people want? If she cried would that have made other people feel better?

She told me once that she was afraid to fall apart because once she lets herself go and starts crying she is afraid she will never stop...they will have to lock her up in a hospital and then she wont be able to look for her daughter and she wont be able to deal with Josh's needs.

I never knew Melissa before all of this happened to Lindsey but I will say that I have become very fond of her and Josh and feel that she has been treated horribly by some and all I can do is question their motives. To me it is like pinching a baby and making them cry....what kind of person would do that and think it was acceptable.

Why would anyone want to take a victim and hurt them more. I asked a counselor that question once and she said "you will never understand the answer to that question because you don't think that way" I find no joy or satisfaction is seeing others suffer so I guess I am really glad that I don’t understand those that try to victimize others who are truly suffering.

Maybe this answer wasn't what you where asking....I suppose I just needed to express what is in my heart. I feel so bad for Melissa and I will not sit back and let anyone hurt her any more if I can stop it. I know that there are several other posters here that feel the same way as I do and not one of them knew her before this horrible event happened either. That should say something about Melissa's character. Why would we all want to help her if she was so undeserving? Caring about Melissa isn't going to bring Lindsey back. We care about Melissa because she is a good person. She is kind and loving and funny but you really don't hear that about her too much do you?
And I just have to wonder why?
 
Jules71 said:
I don't know what the best thing to do is either. I am in no position to help financially - but I'm sure there is something we can do. It might help to know a few things first:

1) is Josh attending school in Tumwater?
2) if so, does she want to stay in Tumwater after school is out and he goes to his Dad's for the summer?
3) if not, does she want to be in McCleary?
4) Which services is she utilizing now (public assistance, food stamps, medical, etc.) I don't know what all is out there, but I can research it if she needs help with that.
5) does Josh have an IEP in school? Is he getting the appropriate accommodations in school? Is he ready to be evaluated or re-evaluated thru the school district? (I have some personal experience with this and could help her if needed.)
6) Are there meds Josh or Melissa should be taking that they are not taking? (I really believe Melissa may benefit from an anti-depressant medication and if she does suffer from bi-polar, she needs a regular regimen - be it medication, therapy, or whatever. She should not feel ashamed to seek help, however hard that is to reach out - she must do it.
7) has she considered respite care for Josh - I know this is available for children with behavioral issues in order to provide the parent with much needed breaks. Sometimes, you yourself (the parent) can contact CPS and ask for help.

Another thing is, if Josh is unstable and needing help, Melissa can take him to the emergency room and have him admitted. They will keep him until he is stable on meds (if this is what is needed).

I don't know the entire situation, but I imagine if I were in Melissa's shoes, I would want to crawl in bed and hide from the world. Even when people are reaching out and trying to help, I imagine myself wanting to hide. I hope she has someone close to lean on and provide her unconditional emotional support (if she doesn't, she can contact me via WS and I will be that person).

Anyone else have any ideas?
Click to expand...

Jules71

It sounds like you do really care about Melissa and we definately can use any help that is offered especially when it is working toward a common goal of getting Mellisa's life back on even ground. If you would like to contact me that would be great. My main focus right now is trying to establish the appropriate services for Josh so Melissa can try to find work. One thing we would like to do is to gather up enough airline miles that Josh can easily spend time with his Dad too. Alot of people don't have enough to purchase a ticket and they sit there unused until they expire. I know I sat on 17,000 for a long time and then they just went away. I should have donated them to make a wish foundation or some one like this. That is something people can do that wont cost them any money but would be so great for Josh to have the opportunity of spending time with both his parents. It will also give Melissa a break.

I did check into respite care but the facility that I was aware of had to make changes recently and either take medically fragile kids or special needs/behavior kids. The state no longer wants a facility to care for both at the same time because of a risk to the medically fragile kids. So now I have to start looking for resources again. Also the last two schools Josh went to were really small. McCleary especially did not have the programs in place that Josh needs. A big factor in where Melissa ends up now is where Josh can benefit the most. We need to find what School District can best deal with his issues so Melissa is not called every day to school to pick him up because he is disruptive. This way she will be able to help herself and find employment.

Any help in sorting this out will truly be appreciated.
 
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