WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - #12

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A free pass?? Hardly and not in the least.. This man's faults have been thoroughly discussed on these threads.. We have discussed and picked apart his involvement in Sky being left in the car in Target.. It's like beating the dead horse to continually keep on bashing the man in the head and he has shown and continues to show great remorse for his part in it.. He has spoken detailed that there was no excuse and how he has learned from that horrendous error in judgement.. And just because many here don't continue to bash him over the head with the mistake doesn't mean in the least that he has been given a free pass.. Not in the least.. He has not been given a free pass by anyone here..
Many of the members posting here truly are THE MOST OBJECTIVE, UNBIASED POSTERS THAT EXIST.. that do not rush to judgement, that do look at the whole picture, along with each and every detail that there is available that we have dug up about those involved in a case.. Gitana is the perfect example of this.. She has carefully and methodically laid out in detail the many different issues that are at play in this case and she has one by one thoroughly dissected and explained what has led her to her opinion on this case.. If it's not obvious by her extremely well thought out posts taking time to explain and break down the issues here and lending us her knowledge and experience of her hands on work in family court.. If her thoughtful posts in reply to those that continue to state that Solomon's on some free pass.. If it's not apparent thru gitana's posts that there has been no rush to judgement, nor has there been any free passes given.. Well.. I guess it's just not read, not understood, or irrelevant to some because she consistently looks at all facets and takes them all into consideration.. There is a reason that many have concluded that Solomon deserves our compassion and not continued Bashings over the head.. IMO gitana has explained and detailed those reasons eloquently and to a tee..

I could not disagree more with the notion that Solomon is getting a free pass.. Choosing not continue to beat a dead horse after they've(his faults) been thoroughly discussed does NOT equal giving a free pass..
 
I think SM was very mentally and emotionally abused. He comes across as 'different' because he is most likely embarrassed of the situation. He doesn't speak with a deep voice but that doesn't mean anything although people can be put off by it. Here was a hard working man who provided for his family but couldn't sleep in his own bed or use his own toilet! Imagine the torment that he dealt with for YEARS! I truly believed he loved Julia and wanted the best for the situation. I think it was very stand-up of him to not just have abandoned her years ago. He wanted to see her get better - like most people, we all want to see an individual change for the better. With JBs manipulative ways, she probably conned him into thinking she was going to change and it would all be the same. Tell tale signs of abuser.

I think people might feel it is weird because this situation is opposite of the stereotype. The man was not the abuser in this case. People question why abused woman can't/don't leave for many years even when there are major red flags -- he too became a victim and was part of her cycle.

Also, I don't think it's fair to question why he didn't try to find some way to contact the kids. He stayed within the parameters of his restraining order which is good. Imagine the trouble he may have got in if he violated that order.
 
Patty G said:
If Solomon's attorney was aware that the children were left alone the entire time, why the heck didn't he send the police to get to the children, OR Julia's FRIGGING attorney, or the mediation person. ANYONE!!!!
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BBM
Can you imagine every time there is a contentious mediation over custody issues the mediator sending police out to verify the children were truly where they were reported to be? What an incredible use of resources, mostly wasted IMO. I would think that in 99.999999999% of the cases the custodial parent tells the truth when asked about the whereabouts of their child(ren). It would take a Carnac-like feat to just know the response was a lie.

Nobody could have foreseen JB would leave the kids home alone for any substantive period of time, and to insinuate that someone should have figured that out is to insult the intelligence and capability of the men and women present that day and every other rational human being in the world.

JMO
 
I can only speak for myself, when I was in an abusive situation I don't think I realized what was happening. The change is so insidious, it happened over time until I was almost completely torn down. I came to believe everything he said about me over time and after 4 years I still struggle with it. Emotional abuse has been shown to be as damaging, and sometimes more damaging than physical abuse. My body would have healed a lot faster than my mind is.
Solomon's behavior-seeming so calm-could be a coping mechanism he learned during his marriage. I know others described me as appearing detached..I wasn't and I don't think I'm explaining myself very well. I just am not surprised at any of his reactions.
 
GARV said:
BBM
Can you imagine every time there is a contentious mediation over custody issues the mediator sending police out to verify the children were truly where they were reported to be? What an incredible use of resources, mostly wasted IMO. I would think that in 99.999999999% of the cases the custodial parent tells the truth when asked about the whereabouts of their child(ren). It would take a Carnac-like feat to just know the response was a lie.

Nobody could have foreseen JB would leave the kids home alone for any substantive period of time, and to insinuate that someone should have figured that out is to insult the intelligence and capability of the men and women present that day and every other rational human being in the world.

JMO
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I do not believe that anyone, at the time of the mediation, suspected the children were alone. This came out later. If they HAD known, of course a well-being check would have been done immediately. I think Solomon assumed the children were with a sitter, right?

I don't think anyone knew at the time of the mediation that they were alone. I believe this came out later.
 
Shelby2 said:
I do not believe that anyone, at the time of the mediation, suspected the children were alone. This came out later. If they HAD known, of course a well-being check would have been done immediately. I think Solomon assumed the children were with a sitter, right?

I don't think anyone knew at the time of the mediation that they were alone. I believe this came out later.
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That's the point I was trying to make in response to Patty's question. I agree wholeheartedly with you.
 
I had to go to Overlake Hospital today. I hate the highway and get confused in Bellevue but I did take 405 from the north because I was running late. It was very easy to get to the hospital no confusion for me about exit's. The exit has a hospital sign. If she went that way I don't see the confusion on her part.

After I left I drove down 112th going north. That is a very unsafe area to leave her kid for one, people were going well over the speed limit on that road. Where she broke down it was on a corner and not a lot of area's to pull off that street on either side. I can't believe she thought it was safe to leave him there.

If you continue north on 112th it dead ends into Market street in Kirkland, I wonder if they have searched Lake Washington at all. It was about 5 minutes away from where she broke down.

There is a gas station right across the street from the hospital (n.e. 8th and 116th ave n.e). Now it makes me wonder even more why she didn't continue on 112th to the hospital and called someone to pick her up at the hospital and then go get gas. She would have had more of a chance to get help from someone going that way.

There were no fliers in the medical building or anywhere else in the area I was in or at. I wish they would have a sign where her car broke down to get more tips. Is there some law where fliers can not be hung in the hospital? The elevator's would be a perfect place.

Just thought I would share my thoughts about the area. MOO to all.
 
:floorlaugh: lol..GARV..lol.. Nope, you're no thread killer.. There are just lulls in the convo and sometimes it just means many are typing out posts all around the same time and you then see a surge of posts.. lol.. But I promise you're no thread killer.. Your thoughts and opinions are just as valued as every single one of ours here:).. Don't take it personally when there's a lull sometimes it's something as simple as everyone stopping to eat, caught up in a tv show, or more frequently have one of the kiddos needing their attention.. Nonetheless we all eventually end up back here(or somewhere on WS);)
 
In defense of Solomon, I think his calm demeanor has something to do with him being a very faithful person. He speaks of his faith all the time. I had an aunt that was very faithful and she was always very calm. . ."it's in God's hands" kind of way. I have known priests that were like that, too. Think of people like the Duggars, Mother Teresa, etc. JMHO

Thanks for the Watershed Park pics! :loveyou:
It sure looks like the dogs were busy. That long hole looks quite frightening. :(
 
Some have questioned how a woman with severe OCD could leave her children alone, unattended, for 11 hours. Well, we know that she admitted that she has done just this on more than one occasion. Not just during the mediation, but other times. Does she lock them in a closet? A bathroom? A crib with something over the top? This does happen. This is not something that LE just drummed up as a way to throw the spotlight on her, she admitted as much! And - NOONE - ZIP - NADA - has come forward to say that the kids were with them. With as much spotlight as this case is receiving, there is no doubt that they would have found someone by now.

Not to mention, why in the world would Julia allow the whole world to think she left the kids home alone if there were an alternative explanation? Why wouldn't she fix that error?
 
Miziree said:
I had to go to Overlake Hospital today. I hate the highway and get confused in Bellevue but I did take 405 from the north because I was running late. It was very easy to get to the hospital no confusion for me about exit's. The exit has a hospital sign. If she went that way I don't see the confusion on her part.

After I left I drove down 112th going north. That is a very unsafe area to leave her kid for one, people were going well over the speed limit on that road. Where she broke down it was on a corner and not a lot of area's to pull off that street on either side. I can't believe she thought it was safe to leave him there.

If you continue north on 112th it dead ends into Market street in Kirkland, I wonder if they have searched Lake Washington at all. It was about 5 minutes away from where she broke down.

There is a gas station right across the street from the hospital (n.e. 8th and 116th ave n.e). Now it makes me wonder even more why she didn't continue on 112th to the hospital and called someone to pick her up at the hospital and then go get gas. She would have had more of a chance to get help from someone going that way.

There were no fliers in the medical building or anywhere else in the area I was in or at. I wish they would have a sign where her car broke down to get more tips. Is there some law where fliers can not be hung in the hospital? The elevator's would be a perfect place.

Just thought I would share my thoughts about the area. MOO to all.
Click to expand...

Bolded part makes me wonder if they have asked M if Mommy left Sky in the car that day? Or did she take him with them. That may be why it took her so long to walk the short distance to the gas station. I get it would be hard to dispose of Sky :( with M there but she could have distracted her or had him in something or...something. Just wondering possibilities out loud.
 
danisisa said:
It seems odd to me how SM is so relaxed during the interview. If I was in the same situation, I would def be visibly upset. To me some things are not always what they appear to be. I feel for the kids in this dysfuntional situation and beg for whoever has Sky to return him and let the courts decide who is a better fit. Constantly running and hiding has got to suck and will not be worth it!!
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i believe he did become upset in one of his interviews. it was from the radio talk show, you could clearly hear him crying/sniffling and even the guy who interviewed him said so.
 
fluffyslady said:
Bolded part makes me wonder if they have asked M if Mommy left Sky in the car that day? Or did she take him with them. That may be why it took her so long to walk the short distance to the gas station. I get it would be hard to dispose of Sky :( with M there but she could have distracted her or had him in something or...something. Just wondering possibilities out loud.
Click to expand...

Some kids fall asleep in the car..mine was awake when left the hospital, by the time we got to Kirkland she was asleep, she was out cold. If I got out really quick and didn't slam the door she probably would have slept right through it..after reading how she left Sky alone before with the blanket over his head and body, it could have been possible she thought he was still in the car. MOO
 
Personally I don't see what else SM was expected to do. Unfortunately when you are involved in a hotly contested child custody case you must do what the court requires of you, regardless of your own instincts or concerns, or risk losing access to your children entirely.

I absolutely begged the courts to not allow my ex unsupervised visitation with our children because I knew he was volatile, violent and mentally unstable. My concerns fell upon deaf ears despite ample evidence of domestic violence and previous psych evaluations/hospitalizations. I fought tooth and nail to keep my children safe yet the court decreed ex could have ample and liberal unsupervised visitation. His suicide attempt in front of his eldest child forced the court to order supervised visitation weeks later but it was not until my ex (plead guilty and) was convicted of raping a child that a judge finally suspended his visitation rights and granted me sole custody further ordering their father maintain contact only in writing - at my discretion. (After more than a dozen emotionally/psychologically abusive and manipulative letters had already been sent and forwarded to the court a year before.)

In my experience, I believe partially due to thousands of unsubstantiated abuse allegations, the courts do get it wrong. Parents who are desperate to keep their child safe from someone they know to be dangerous are forced by the system to follow rules, attend classes and mediation, and allow contact without interference all to retain their current custodial status. I had to allow my ex visitation...but the thought he might kill them only to hurt me haunted me constantly. Yet had I refused I could have lost custody altogether to him. It is frightening how broken our system truly is.
 
fluffyslady said:
Bolded part makes me wonder if they have asked M if Mommy left Sky in the car that day? Or did she take him with them. That may be why it took her so long to walk the short distance to the gas station. I get it would be hard to dispose of Sky :( with M there but she could have distracted her or had him in something or...something. Just wondering possibilities out loud.
Click to expand...

http://www.kirklandreporter.com/news/133704413.html

Experts have interviewed Sky's 4-year-old sister, a talk Johnson called "frustrating." He said they received very few answers to their questions, but the daughter did confirm that Sky was in the car that morning wrapped in a blanket.
Click to expand...
 
:seeya:

Nancy Grace is covering Sky's disappearance tonight........
 
I don't get why it took her an hour either to get to the gas station even with M going slow. My daughter's school is the same distance and has a hill. It takes me 15 minutes alone and 20-30 getting back with my little one. That is her stopping to smell the roses along the way, looking at stuff on the ground, ect. I would assume she would be in a hurry trying to get there and back before he woke up.

I think some sleuthers here may be right that he was never in that car that day. The first interview with M. she said he was in the car wrapped in a blanket. They interviewed her the next day and she changed her story (we don't know to what, Le would not say). It is possible she said he was not there that day.

MOO
 
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