When my young adults were lil tots I took a Mommy and Me class at the JC with each of them. It was for pre-preschoolers, but they were walking so I'm guessing it was aimed at 12 to 30 months. (Prime biting age)
It was set up to be playtime, (things you wouldn't try or didn't think to try at home; like finger painting with choc pudding) supportive and educational.
One semester we had a serial biter, this kid wasn't biting because JR had a toy he wanted, this kid was stealth. He reached out and bit whoever was handy when then the mood struck. And his mom had a very odd affect about it, most moms were very apologetic when their angel tasted another kid, but Chompers mom never reacted at all.
Needless to say we spent a lot of the support and educational time discussing biting in that class.
*Most biters are pre-verbal and just get frustrated over their inability to communicate effectively, "I want what you have now!" Chomp. Some do it more when tired or hungry even though there is no other apparent motivating factors.
*Infants bite as part of learning about their world, a sharp "No biting" from mom when Jr tries out his new teeth on her breast is usually all it takes to nip this behavior in the bud. Older infants will sometimes bite out of aggression, again this is part of learning what works and what doesn't, but sometimes becomes an attention ploy if not stopped immediately.
*The pre-verbal toddler who bites maybe expressing fear or reacting to abuse he has received. He maybe an aggressive tot who hasn't been taught biting is never acceptable. Some biters are just overwhelmed and bite to gain control of the situation.
*OK, I'm wimping out, I know why they bite, getting them to stop if they've gotten old enough that it's a problem is hit and miss in my experience.
Stopping it before it happens by shadowing the biter and interjecting "NO biting, that hurts", time out, removing from the situation. Keeping them out of a situation that is known to be an aggravating circumstance. They usually outgrow the behavior quickly as their vocabulary increases. Mainly it is the need to be consistent, and quick. Personally I like the idea of a muzzle.
*This book is said to be good:
Teeth are not for Biting. Available from Applebaum Institute or from their website.
*In the class, the biter was given a plastic lid on a piece of yarn necklace and told to bite this when the urge strikes. I never saw a child chew on the lid but the biters were easily recognized and that gave the adults a clue for keeping a closer eye on those kids.
This is from
About.com: What Can Parents Do To Stop A Biting Child
http://childcare.about.com/cs/behaviors/f/biting.htm
1) Firmly say "No bite!" and remove the biting child offender from the situation.
2) Administer an appropriate consequence such as removal of the toy or a time-out for a biting child.
3) Lavish positive attention on the bitten toddler.
4) Use distraction between young kids and watch their interaction closely to avoid placing youngsters--especially one to be known to be a biting child--in a conflict situation.
5) Resist the temptation to bite a biting child back as a way to "show them" their wrongs. Use a positive approach instead. You don't want your toddler telling his teacher that he bites because that's what his parents do!
I never learned the cause of Chomper's behavior, maybe he just felt stressed out by being enrolled in college before he was weaned. IDK His behavior continued week after week, until he bit a child so hard it drew blood. Chomper's mommy was asked to stay after class and we never saw either of them again.
Oh boy! I was looking to see if I had missed any new forms of teaching kids not to bite when I came across this. It is the reply to a grandma who asked for advice to stop this aggressive behavior in her 10 mo old gbaby. It's very... um, new age LOL!!!
(snipped)
Your granddaughter's biting or pinching when she gets frustrated is quite normal for her age. There is no reason to interpret her actions in negative terms. She is likely expressing her frustration (or experimentation) in the only way she can. She will learn appropriate boundaries from your and her mother's natural reactions to being bitten.
Your granddaughter's behavior is a sign that she is trying to communicate her needs or experience in some way. This kind of expression is not a sign of a "bad temper" by any means. If anything it is a signal that she is actively engaged in attempting to get her needs met through interpersonal interaction as well as experimenting with her ability to impact her environment. It is her parents' job (and yours if bitten or pinched!) to help her establish boundaries that are acceptable for such frustration.
Be patient with her. And restrain from interpreting unpopular behavior in negative characterological terms. Children depend on you to develop a sense of their true (and positive) identity. It is not too early to pay some conscious attention to the messages you may be inclined to relay to a child, whether in verbal or nonverbal communication.
Naturally, your granddaughter's biting people needs to stop, but her assertion may be viewed as a positive motivator for her behavior. More successful outlets for her assertion can be found as she develops. ( This kind of positive message supporting self-assertion can be particularly important in a girl's development.) It is not too early to verbally begin encouraging her, in a sympathetic tone, to express herself, but without biting. Naturally, she will probably only look at you and whimper, but it allows you to feel comfortable inviting her frustration and the expression of it, into your relationship. She may learn to cry louder and squirm in your arms, instead of pinching and biting you!
Self-esteem is built on the premise that our children need a positive reflection of their unique individuality in the world. This includes being frustrated and learning age appropriate boundaries for expressing and channeling anger. Assuming a "bad temper" so early in the game may diminish your ability to see your granddaughter's nature in more positive terms.
